Life After Molmol, Book One : Sisters At War
by Gojirob
Summary: After the series' final adventure, the ladies of the Hinata-Sou are at odds not with Keitaro, but each other. Things let go or once forgotten will be hashed out, and feelings of betrayal abound. The next part of their lives begins. Canon-based, Kei/Naru.
1. Prologue The Girl Who Digs In The Sand

Life After Molmol: A Tale Of The Missing Three Years Of Love Hina

By 'Goji' Rob Morris

_Legal Disclaimer : I do not know exactly who owns Love Hina, or the other pop culture entities and works I often reference herein—I only know it isn't me._

* * *

_**Book One – Sisters At War**_

* * *

**Prologue - The Girl Who Digs In The Sand**

* * *

Hinata-Sou, The 1980's

She knew all their scummy, hurtful comments by heart at this point. So it was that a tough girl who prided herself on her emotional control waited till she was well inside the hotel before even allowing her eyes to even begin to redden. Her grandmother was already waiting.

"Your friends need to improve their social graces. Since that is unlikely to happen soon, why don't you go upstairs and look in on your baby cousin?"

She didn't mind the assignment. After all, a baby who had yet to say even his first words couldn't insult her. As she walked up slowly, so as not to awaken the kid (who had the healthiest set of lungs of any baby she'd ever heard), the words that had driven her inside rang in her ears.

*Honestly, it's not your fault. Your looks just don't inspire boys.*

*Boys like you well enough. To them, it's like you're not even a girl.*

*That tom-boy thing will come back in style some day. Not in our lifetimes, you understand.*

*'Ruka, let's be real. You're not a girl that boys will marry. The most you can hope for is that one of them will take you to the beach to dig fro clams in the sand with them. Heh. Don't get crabs!*

Her agitation huge, she saw that her stealth had been for nothing. While not crying, the baby was wide awake. Thankfully, Grandma had positioned his cradle/bed in position to see the sky above, calming him.

"Glad to see you're doing all right at least. Sorry I'm not your two little girlfriends."

She picked the delighted boy—really he was not a baby anymore-up and grew a bit bitter.

"Though you're probably better off without them. As bad as you guys can be, you have nothing on us, when we turn on each other. Why? Because guys go after each other for the stupidest reasons. Girls go after each other for no reason at all."

The boy laughed. His 'two little girlfriends' weren't even that, really, having only waved to each other across the room so far, like something out of a bad American sitcom based on misunderstandings. The one girl was reported to be very sickly. The other girl, while healthy, had been mistaken for dead on countless occasions.

"Don't. Don't you look at me like that. Don't look at me like I'm some kind of beauty queen, fairy princess, or goddess. Because I'm not. Just ask any girl at school. Or worse, ask any boy. I'm just plain old Haruka Urashima, emphasis on the plain."

But he wouldn't stop smiling at her in exactly that way, and eventually, she was smiling as well.

"Okay, I said stop. Here, you little brat. Take this."

With as little force as possible, she took one finger and swatted him across the nose. She figured to start a crying jag that would end her tenure. She figured wrong.

"Little cousin, are you some kind of masochistic monster? You shouldn't smile when I hit you! Keitaro…"

"O-ba."

His gurgling took her by complete surprise. It sounded like a word.

"What did you just say?"

"Oba. Oba Haruka."

Her eyes went wide, and her eyes never went wide. The first real word out of his mouth had been her name. Her name—prefixed by the honorific 'Auntie'.

"You little creep. Your Mom's gonna wanna kill me for this! I took your first word, and it was—just for me?"

Okay, so she was a little young to be an aunt. Her pals would surely tease her about this. But that gave her an idea.

"Work with me, kiddo. I want to give those little bitches what for. See where Auntie is placing your hand? Well, when my friends come back, I want you to grab them right there—a lot! After all, they can't punish a baby. And live."

As she moved his tiny hand to the chest she whose lack she was teased about, she briefly mused that this could become a habit that could get the boy punished later on.

"But it's only okay when we're with friends, here at the Sou, got it?"

He seemed to understand. The next day, when tissues came out of one friend's bra, Haruka decided she would always be happy to see her nephew Keitaro.

* * *

August 2001, The Kingdom Of Molmol

"What the hell are you doing?"

She had gotten up to clear her head, and what she saw on the beach astounded her.

"Auntie, I'm just digging."

She pointed at him with a fury.

"Bad enough you mistook my advice to just do it with Naru the first time. But now, having won the woman you love by fighting all the other women you love, you're digging on the beach instead of making love to her?"

Keitaro waved a hand in the air.

"Please, keep it down. She said it was alright if I tell you, but no one else. For the others, I have to use my best goofball routine. I'm to say something awkward if asked."

Haruka grew concerned.

"Is she all right?"

Keitaro nodded.

"She is now. I had to rub lotion all over her. Err—she had rope burns and whip abrasions. I think it happened when Kitsune had her all tied up on the warplane. She took some pain relievers, too. She's tough, but the way this ruined things tonight really hit her hard. And that's not all."

He sat down, and she did likewise. He didn't have his 'woe-is-me' giving-up face on, but one from a more tangible sort of upset. This one wasn't going to pass with a shake or a punch.

"Go ahead, tell me."

"Auntie, I know the girls are just that way, and that this whole thing was a weird---very, very weird---way of saying that I do mean something to them. While I do wish they'd just told me this was a game, given the benefits of just knowing them, I'm happy to let it all slide. I'm not sure Naru is, though. She did a lot of grumbling while I rubbed her down, and for once, it wasn't aimed at me. Add to that, I think Shinobu feels like the others weren't fully truthful with her on some of what happened here. I'm beginning to think that, right after we settle this thing with Grandma and the Inn, there's going to be some bad blood."

Haruka sighed. Normally, she thought, this would be the time she smacked him and told him to not worry for no reason.

"Pretty damned insightful, nephew. You're finally growing up. Look, Keitaro. If this bad blood crops up, let it. Keep it from getting too bad, but accept that it will get bad. Also accept that you have nothing to do with it. All you and Naru's love did was catalyze some things that have been brewing since before you ever showed your adult face at the Inn. Friends are like this. I had to have it out with mine on occasion, even with Sarah's Mom. "

She half-expected to hear a whining jag about wanting everyone to get along, but it seemed he really had grown up—at least somewhat. Since she was still waiting for her own confirmation of maturity, she accepted this.

"You're right. We guys turn on each other for the stupidest reasons, but sometimes I think girls turn on each other for no reason."

His sudden smile told her he knew damned well where he had gotten that pearl of wisdom.

"Hubby Seta's sleeping off his accomplishment, and the verbal ass-kicking I gave him for dragging you two into this mess in the first place. Naru's not like us, and needs her rest after Mitsune's bout of outdoing herself."

Keitaro's head turned.

"Not like us?"

She looked at her watch.

"It's Three right now. Kitchen opens for Breakfast opens at Four-Fifteen. We'll eat then, and talk about a lot of things you need to know. But first, we dig for treasure. Okay?"

"Sure!"

So it was that a girl now a woman far happier than any of the friends who had taunted her dug happily in the sand with the first man who ever recognized her worth and beauty. For good measure, just before leaving the area, they tossed their shovels over a rise, knocking two overly zealous Molmolian security force personnel silly. Haruka decided anew that she would always be happy to see her nephew Keitaro.


	2. Chapter One Breakfast With Auntie

**Chapter One - Breakfast With Auntie**

* * *

Shinobu woke up and walked to her bedroom door. But when she opened it, instead of the hallway or some random chaos caused by her beloved Sempai Keitaro's clumsiness (and, she had to admit, the others' predictable over-reactions) there were now steel bars with a lock.

"Hello?"

She looked around as far as she could. There was no one in sight.

"This feels so familiar. But why?"

Though she was growing to hate the damned thing, she grabbed and swung out at the bars with her frying pan. It made a loud clank against the bars that reverberated.

"Shinobu, keep it down! I'm on the phone with my armies."

"Su? Is that you?"

The Molmolian princess closed her phone up and smiled.

"Great news! We've just taken Washington. Ohh—I didn't ask them whether they meant the city or the state. No matter. We'll have both soon. I plan to have the Golden Gate transported back to Molmol, and I'll bury the Statue Of Liberty halfway in the sand, just like in that movie with the monkey men."

Utterly confused and losing patience, Shinobu still tried to keep calm.

"Su? Why am I behind these bars—in my own room?"

Now Su took on a confused look.

"Shinobu! I told you I was going to take over the world someday. Well, last night, I did it. It was so easy, once I found out the secret of Keitaro's immortality, and gave it to my soldiers. But don't worry, since you're my friend, you won't get relocated. You get to stay right here in the Hinata-Sou. I may even make you my bride, along with the others. Motoko first, though, but don't worry. She has second dibs on Keitaro, so we'll still have all kinds of fun! I'm having Beijing made over into one big waterslide!"

Shinobu grabbed at her own head.

"Su let me out of here. I can't stay in my room my whole life. How can you do this?"

Kaolla Su now looked hurt.

"Huh? Aren't you happy that your friend is ruling the world? That gives you an inside track."

Fuming now, Shinobu used her frying pan and smashed through the bars entirely.

"You---you are psychotic! I'm tired of your schemes and insane advice causing me embarrassment. Finally, you show your true face, and you are the most selfish, shallow thing in the entire universe!"

She hated herself even as she thought and said these things, but they felt true. Screaming, she leaped into the air and moved to swing her pan right at Su's head.

"Tell me, Princess? Do YOU have Sempai's immortality?"

"She's going for the Princess! Open Fire!!"

Shinobu looked, and at the head of the Black-suited bodyguards was a familiar figure, one who she saw through the flare of the gun-fire.

"Kitsune?"

* * *

KINGDOM OF MOLMOL, 2001

Waking from the nightmare, Shinobu ran for the bathroom, and splashed cold water on her face.

"It didn't happen like that. They weren't like that. Nobody fired any---"

Yet, she came to realize, that nightmare hadn't come up all on its own. Worse, she could see it happening. Su, taking over the world and ruining countless lives as part of a game. Kitsune, selling them all out, for kicks and sake, more than like. She was no longer even sure if she trusted Motoko, and that made her feel ill.

"They are my friends. Things got a little wild here, but they are my friends. They—"

She hit the wall with her fist.

"They lied to me."

Thankful that she hadn't woken any of them up, Shinobu returned to bed, knowing that they had to leave soon. But she did do one thing before falling back asleep. She took a match, and she burned the oath of loyalty document she had signed, when they joined Su's 'side'.

"They lied to me."

A girl who didn't hate was suddenly finding it very hard not to hate those she usually loved best of all. Two of those she did not hate, but now worried that perhaps they hated her. Life at the Hinata-Sou was on the verge of becoming very, very interesting in ways that even its harried residents would not believe.

* * *

Haruka set the suitcase down by a river bank. Keitaro chose not to question either this or why she told him to fetch clothes to put in the bag. For her part, she noticed that he was letting this pass, and appreciated it as they went uphill to the breakfast buffet-style restaurant. It was still before 4:30 AM, and the usually-bustling buffet was almost like a quiet restaurant.

Once they sat down, Haruka looked her nephew in the eye.

"First thing, kid. Old business. I'm not that much older than you. Why Auntie? Why not, say, Nee-Chan?"

Keitaro shook his head.

"I first saw you when I couldn't even speak yet. To me, anybody older was a giant of the earth. Also, you took care of me. I guess calling you just 'sister' would have seemed disrespectful."

She saw something in his eyes. By at last hooking up with Naru, something in her nephew had finally unclenched. He would always be who he was—no one could escape that. But at least a level of relaxation had taken over.

"Listen—thanks for stepping aside, as regards me and Seta. It meant everything."

"Well, I owe you two just about everything, so maybe we're even."

Haruka knew well that, once back at the Sou, this calm young man would be falling into water, and into the chests of young ladies, all while freaking and stammering. But then and there, it was good to see he could be at peace.

"You know that I couldn't stand up for you too much, when you first showed up at the Inn. I wanted to—we are family—but—"

"Auntie, stop. You had a position to protect. Those girls almost threw me out, and Grandma or No, you had to watch out for yourself. I got that, even back then. Besides, turning to you would have made me the wimpy monster they all thought sure I was."

Now, she was really getting flatly astounded. He had seen all that? It actually made sense, but sense was something that Haruka had thought certain the younger Keitaro, freshly thrown out by his parents, didn't have at all.

"Oh, I guess you get everything, don't you?"

"I wish. I have this feeling that if I got everything, my face would have been a lot less sore these past few years. Whatever the girls think I saw on them, my most vivid memories don't involve bare boobs, but bare knuckles."

Her features sharpened.

"You go and say 'boobs' to your Auntie?!"

When he gained a look of panic, she smiled.

"Work on that, nephew. Otherwise, Kitsune will keep right on playing you."

He smiled, but that faded.

"I think I can deal with her. And I'm not the one who feels played."

Haruka launched into a large part of why she'd taken him there.

"The problem with over-the-top situations like the one we just lived through is not the situation itself. It's all the little things that bubble up once nerves are rubbed raw. That's the bad blood you talked about. It's not the tidal wave this place has been to our lives. It's the undertow."

"But these girls have always gotten along. They're like sisters."

"Keitaro, sisters fight. And the only one more vicious towards a woman than a man of bad intent is another woman. Guys tend to stick by each other and get each other. Women? We're a mystery to ourselves, and the people we fight with the worst are those we love best."

Now, he seemed to be struggling, to Haruka's eyes, but it was a struggle he was willing to take up.

"Auntie, you make it sound like they have to watch out more for each other than some of my accidents."

She nodded.

"What you've never gotten is, before you showed up, these girls were as lost as you were. Maybe more so."

He looked really stunned at that.

"More than me?"

"In some ways, sure. Kitsune had flirted her way through the male population of the surrounding area. Motoko had successfully threatened the privates of every male past toddling. Su had the attention of many older men—all psychology students, looking for a thesis work."

Keitaro could easily understand that last part, but still disputed her on another front.

"Auntie, I know there were tons of boys after them."

"Oh, you know that? From who?"

He realized his position.

"Kitsune."

She took a puff of her cigarette, and then nodded.

"Well, she wasn't lying. But what she seems to have failed to point out is, aside from you, how many guys really stuck around?"

Of course, he couldn't even think of one.

"It got that bad?"

"Story: Shinobu brought home one of her little friends. Future bishie, I'm nearly certain. She wants to introduce him to her nearest and dearest. In short order, he is flirted with well past a 12-year-old's limits, threatened with instant sex change should he break Shinobu's heart, thrown into a giant glass pinball—don't ask, we made her promise to never do it again---and while trying to flee in purest terror, snags Naru's robes as he comes out of the onsen. Shinobu then launches into her hugest crying jag to date."

Keitaro looked lost in thought. Haruka snapped at him.

"Hey, moron? You listening?"

"Sorry, Auntie. I was just trying to figure out if parallel incarnations are possible in the same lifetime. Because that sounds eerily like me."

"That's my point, kid. You weren't the only boy to hit and be hit by the Hinata-Sou. You were just the boy that lived—errr—yeah."

"So what happened to Shinobu's friend?"

"Last we heard, he'd fled to a monastery on a Spanish mountaintop."

He managed a weak smile.

"I think I know the one. I considered running away a few times—I mean besides the times I actually did run away."

She needed to cheer him up, and found the simple words.

"You're also the only one they ever went after to bring back. Keep that in mind."

She now saw a look of consideration on his face.

"You're not coming back to the Sou with us, are you?"

Haruka took a bite of her sausage gravy and biscuits—she'd gotten a taste for them during an Arizona dig with Seta—and then stared at her nephew with something very like new eyes.

"How the hell did you figure that out?"

"Easy. You told me after a prank you pulled when I was little. I was all hurt, but you said 'Auntie's not a hugger or kisser, kid. Just know that you have my love, and that's enough'. I never forgot it."

He shrugged.

"You were being a little more direct but still with a lighter touch than usual, so I figured you were breaking some big news. Since you and Seta just tied the knot, it only followed that…"

He stopped. The nearly-grown man vanished, but nor did the crybaby teen show up. Instead, he was sounding like a little boy.

"Auntie, I don't want you to go. What will we do without you? What will I do? If the girls start fighting, I'll probably only make it worse, like always."

She took two fingers, and slapped him on his right hand with them.

"This is where you have to learn to trust yourself. You'll be the only one the girls can turn to, when things start to get bad. You will be the one who knows when things have gone too far. That's when you'll step in. This isn't like falling into the onsen, Keitaro. There's no need to stammer or worry. They'll be fully clothed, but in a way more naked than they've ever been, and they'll be counting on you to hand them a towel and get dried off. But act surprised when I tell everyone I'm going."

He shook his head.

"Will I really know when to step in? Didn't I just recently misread your advice about moving things forward with Naru?"

She noted he was calling her 'Naru' for once, but stayed on topic.

"It's true. I told you to consummate, and you read 'Do It' as meaning you should propose marriage. That drove me insane when Naru told me. I wanted to choke you!"

Her dour look turned bright.

"Then, it occurred to me. Most guys, and not a few women, would have taken a nudge to get married as meaning they should consummate. But my nephew, so damn sweet and responsible, automatically thinks of doing the right thing, instead of just---doing it. And you've always been that way. Why do you think Kanako fell so hard for you?"

"Umm—because my sister is insane?"

Haruka shrugged.

"Well, there is that. I think your mother dropped her on her head a few times on the way back from signing the adoption papers. But you were sweet to a girl who didn't know what to expect in her new family, just as you were to a sickly girl who, no matter how hard she hits you, kept you in her heart always."

"Auntie, can I ask you some questions?"

"Only if you're good with my leaving."

"I'm good with you and Seta being happy, and I think you're the only one who could possibly raise Sarah. We'll handle it, though I have to find a new manager."

"We'll talk about that too. But what's your first question?"

Keitaro sighed.

"Kanako. Am I so clueless that I didn't see her feelings for me?"

"Well, you are clueless—"

"Hey!"

"---but I don't think anybody saw the depth of her feelings for you. Besides—what kind of guy would get that his little sister has an obsessive complex for him so big, she's willing to kidnap perceived rivals, threaten to blow them and her family's property up, and be the only girl in the Sou to deliberately expose herself to him?"

"Actually, Kitsune did once. She mistook the drain cleaner for Kirin. Lucky for me, no one else was home—and she didn't remember. Instead of telling her that she pulled off her sweater and demanded that I pick a 'favorite', I said to her later that she asked for warm milk and then went to bed."

Haruka scratched her head.

"I'm surprised you didn't freak out. Then again, I'm not sure there's a man in Japan who hasn't seen her bosoms. So which one did you pick?"

"The right one."

"That'd be mine, too. Next question?"

"Ummm—Kanako, despite nearly blowing up the Sou, was taken back by Grandma in a heartbeat. Do you think that—errr—Grandma sent her for some reason?"

She sighed, he nodded, and they both recited a mantra.

"If one is wise, one does not question the plans of the Great Demon Of Hinata. This is considered unhealthy."

Keitaro shrugged.

"If you were to?"

Haruka looked a bit like she already had.

"Hypothetically, and never to be quoted under pain of death---she wanted to move you and Naru along by sending in a love struck rival that was only a rival in her own and Naru's minds."

"But—she and I were moving along pretty well, even before I left with Seta. It may have taken a little more time, but I think we were closer than not."

"Yeah, but Keitaro—neither you nor Naru are a grandmother seeking to become a great-grandmother. The glacial way you two do things may have made her worry about seeing your kids born—or not. This is another reason why I never speculate on her plans."

Keitaro shook his head.

"I didn't lie to Kanako, when I told her that maybe, if I had never met Naru, it could have been her. But what I didn't say was that such a life would also involve her not being my sister. Adoption or no that is how I have always seen her. Joining the others here in Molmol makes me think that she may never really accept that."

"Then my niece has a problem. As in, it's her problem, not yours. Gently and politely take her aside at some point and let her know that she cannot ever again do something like this without risking hurting her relationship with you as her brother. There are times when it's better to slap a hand then to hold it. Mind you—that does not apply to Shinobu. Her, you go as gently as you can. Promise me?"

"Actually, she came up while I was rubbing Naru down with lotion. We're gonna make some choices, and soon. When we do, she has dinner with Mutsumi, and I have dinner with Shinobu."

"And the others?"

Keitaro looked pained.

"Not before—and this is Naru, not me---she hears some words of explanation and/or apology."

Haruka rolled her eyes.

"Did you point out that two out of the three parties remaining tend to never give apologies, one because she's too mischievous, the other because she doesn't quite live in the same world as the rest of us?"

"Till I was blue in the face."

Well, she thought, he had said there was bad blood. After finishing her fruit and nut oatmeal, she pressed on.

"Next?"

Keitaro took Haruka's lit cigarette from the ashtray, and drove it into his arm. No blister appeared.

"Once and for all—Auntie, what am I?"

She lit a new cigarette, puffed for a few seconds, and then drove it into her palm. No blister appeared. Keitaro breathed in.

"Auntie—you too?"

She looked around to make sure no one had noticed, and only then spoke.

"Sarah's Mom was our Mutsumi in more ways than one, though her rack put both Mutsumi and Kitsune's in the pettanko zone—no joke. She was also kind of---well, not flakey, but off. Brilliant---just like—etcetera. So one day, her me and Seta are on a dig near the Brittany coast, and they find evidence of a Celtic storehouse set up to fend off the Saxons after the Celts fled Britain. They're talking a mile a minute when they swing a spear my way without realizing. I duck, but lose my footing. Boom! Straight into the rocky English Channel below, bouncing a few times to boot. It was a half an hour before our intrepid archeologists realized I was gone. I gave both of them a Naru-punch when I got back."

"But you lived."

"Nary a scratch. I asked Grandma about it when I got back to Japan."

Keitaro's heart began to race. Here was an answer at last.

"And?"

"And—she said 'You must be very durable. Little Keitaro is like that, too. Now go set the table for dinner.' And that was all she would say."

His face nearly fell into his French Toast.

"Are we the only ones?"

"Honestly? I think one or both of your parents must be like us. They're always grasping those pastry trays straight from the oven barehanded. I think the old demon herself maybe. Seta may have picked it up from me, but it's hard to confirm. Naru probably can from you—hint."

The hint was obvious enough, even for Keitaro.

"But your parents—and my leg. How do you explain that?"

Haruka was starting to get a pained look.

"One night not long after we lost them, I found Grandma drinking. She looked at a picture of my folks, saying over and over that she 'should have explained things' to them. Maybe it's not automatic. As to your leg? I think Mutsumi broke it."

"Huh?"

"Not on purpose, of course. But to hear her version of that day, you were having a run of really bad luck—and she, bless her, was following you around, saying out loud how you were having a run of really bad luck."

Keitaro seemed to connect the dots.

"I forgot. It's bad luck to even really speak of having it. Especially when you already are."

"Yeah. You three invited the fates down on you with that promise about Todai. Being the male of the group, your strength was tested by means of some really rotten luck and incredibly lousy timing."

"But Auntie, we were kids!"

"Doesn't matter. All the fates heard was a challenge."

Keitaro ate some bacon, and then some breaded fish heads.

"Well, I guess that's all my questions. We better finish up."

"Suit yourself. Pity about the end of the romance, though."

"No, I think you and Seta still have a lot of that left in you. Unless—you meant me and Naru, but our romance is just really getting going."

She smiled, and it was that of a woman smiling at a man.

"No, Baka—I meant our romance."

He smiled, too, but for different reasons.

"You already told me to be ready for Kitsune's games."

She tapped his forehead.

"This isn't a game, Keitaro. You and I have had a thing going on, but now it's over."

He knew what she would say back, but he said it anyway.

"Call me baka and all those great names for dummies, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

In fact she did no such thing.

"It's okay, kid. It took me a while to realize it too. Go back with me to the Brittany coast and Seta. He had us out so far, even the local fishermen didn't know the area. We were all three of us badly lost, and he broke down."

"Seta?"

"Not the man you know yet. So after a while, and even with that idea TV comedies have that women are any better at finding their way out, we're starting to get in real trouble. Clothes, food, toilet paper—it was getting ugly. Only he could get us back to civilization, and he was a useless lump."

"Did you hit him?"

"Repeatedly. But he just sank in further. Finally, I yelled at him that he was giving up on his dream. More, I told him about my little nephew, who despite setbacks and admonitions, never gave up on his. That seemed to do it."

She drank some apple juice as her throat became dry, then continued.

"He got up and said that he couldn't allow himself to be seen as less in my eyes than a determined little boy, and before we knew it, he not only found out where we were, he even found Exc—ehhhh—an antique Celtic sword the authorities confiscated and swore us to secrecy on."

Keitaro's mouth hung open at the mention.

"Auntie, he found the sword Exc---exactly where he expected to?"

"Not a word, Keitaro, or I will chloroform you and Shinobu, and stick you in bed together for Naru and the others to find. There won't be enough left of you to ID at that point."

His face showed he got the message. Haruka calmed a bit.

"He never told you any of this because he's a forgetful idiot. But you were training him before he ever trained you—in fact, before you even met. Don't you get it? The man I love became that because I came to see him as an older version of the first boy to ever look at me with appreciative eyes. And you? You chose a violent girl whose moods you can never predict but who you know loves you."

Her eyes held the closest thing to touchy-feely Keitaro would ever see in them.

"We provided one another with the template for the love of our lives. I realize now I could never love a man who didn't have at his core your kind of caring and determination."

Floored as he was, Keitaro managed a response that did not end with his face being slapped or punched.

"I could never love a girl who didn't have your strength and yet your inability to get how truly pretty and wonderful she is—because she's just too busy being wonderful to ever notice."

Their warm smiles and quick hand-squeezes started whispers all over the eatery. The pair caught on to this, and smiled wickedly at each other.

"Remember my 13th Birthday?"

"Sure do. It was one of the last times I ever saw you, prior to my moving into the Sou. I'll just update it and improvise for the passage of years."

Leaving the tab and a tip, the pair rose from the table. Haruka adopted a face she'd seen women use in the corniest soaps imaginable.

"We've been together on and off since we were children."

Keitaro removed and folded his glasses, but not before gaining a sense of his surroundings, and deliberately pushed all worry-wart looks from his face as he looked at her.

"Now that has to end. Will your husband allow me to visit you?"

"I can't be sure. You know how he can be."

On Haruka's 13th Birthday, her catty friends had seen her with Keitaro and teasingly asked if this was her new 'boyfriend'. With a look in her eyes he knew screamed 'prank alert', little Keitaro played along as she fired back.

*Not just boyfriend. The best lover I've ever had. He's forgotten more things about making a woman feel like a woman than your little-membered boy-toys have ever learned!*

*Haruka, darling, are these your friends? Why are you always so kind to the underprivileged? Let's run off together, before their ordinary looks diminish the shine of your beauty.*

The prank had unnerved Haruka's pals back when, and it unnerved the busybodies now. Keitaro sometimes found it hard to believe he had ever been that bold, even for a second, but realized he had always felt he could do anything for Haruka. Not wanting to fail in her eyes had driven him ever further when the ladies were nearly united in wanting him out of the Inn.

Haruka caught that the busybodies' interest was at its peak, so she kept on.

"I won't let him keep us apart. This has gone on too long for me to allow it to end. You'll come and visit us, and that's settled."

Keitaro put his arm to his head, as though in agony.

"I can't just show up unannounced. Why, in our last battle, he nearly thrashed me!"

The gasps that followed gave the Urashimas the knowledge that they had their targets cold. Haruka feigned suddenly remembering something.

"But what about her? She'll want to come along with you."

"You forget—she's always been—fond—of your husband."

The whispering fools finally became bold enough to move forward. The trap was set. A slightly younger woman pulled Haruka aside, and a man slightly older than Keitaro pulled him aside, grins on their faces.

"He's a little skinny, but I'll bet he's a tiger in the sack!"

"She's a bit of a Christmas Cake, but with that rack, who cares?"

The trap sprang and closed. Haruka and Keitaro adopted horrified looks.

"He's---my nephew!"

"We were just discussing my visit to see her and my new uncle, also my Sempai. His work schedule is frantic, and may not allow it. Uncle is also my girlfriend's sempai."

The crowd began to look both ill and outraged.

"You said you battled him!"

Haruka faked a shudder.

"No! They battled to see who would first declare their love under Molmol's sacred moon at Toudai. My husband won, and he likes to rub that in my nephew's face."

Keitaro brought out his inner crybaby, this time for fun.

"oh, Auntie! These people think the worst of us. If such sick rumors reach the family…"

"No, nephew. Oba-San took care of you as a baby, and she will make it right now…"

She grabbed his hand and ran for a cliff overlooking a waterfall. A large, deep waterfall.

"Auntie will take care of you for all eternity!"

Over the side they went, to the gasps and cries of people who would now always mind their own damn business. Before they hit the water, Keitaro looked over and saw Haruka's smile, and it became his own. He really would miss his favorite Auntie. Then he thought of something.

"Who's going to be the new manager?"

She said a name that hit him harder than the water ever could.

"Kitsune."

--------------

The swirling waters took them almost exactly to the point where Haruka left the suitcase, and looking himself over, he realized this was a good precaution. The water had taken him straight down to his underpants.

"That was great, Auntie."

"Uhh—Keitaro?"

He heard her voice behind him while digging his glasses from the mud.

"Yeah?"

"Ummm—I wasn't wearing any underwear---and my foot is stuck in the mud bank."

His body visibly froze up.

"Look, kid—we are family, and both spoken for. I will even protect you from Naru, if it comes to that. But I can't get leverage here, and it won't be long before people make their way over up the path for breakfast. If it bothers you, just act like we're fifty years older, you're 72, and I'm 80 and…"

He stopped shaking, turned and looked at her. Just for a second, something that could have cost Keitaro a lot of pain normally emerged from his eyes. Calmly, he picked her up, helped her foot loose from the mud, sat her down on the river bank, and then promptly turned his back.

"You, Auntie, are not 80 years old."

Haruka realized that the first male to ever see her as beautiful still did. A forbidden moment? Maybe. But one she would treasure, all the same.

"I knew I couldn't leave you two alone!"

Naru was smiling, belying the angry tone of her words. Haruka, dressed by then, played it up.

"Hey, if you weren't going to make my nephew a man, what choice did I have?"

Naru shook her head.

"You told her?"

"You—said it was alright."

"If it needed to be said, but…"

Haruka cut her off.

"Relax. I asked why he wasn't with you, and I have pull with my nephew. Did you get a good sleep?"

Naru nodded.

"The lotions helped my whip and rope burns. Strangling Kitsune would help a lot more."

Haruka shot a look at Keitaro to keep quiet. He would obey her wishes, until such statements were in danger of being made real. That time was coming.

"You two gotta get back so all of you can get back to the Sou. Let's move."

Haruka overheard a conversation on the way back.

"But you always want me to call you Naru."

"No. For now, keep calling me Narusegawa, and I'll keep correcting you. It'll keep the others occupied."

"We need to keep them occupied?"

"Baka! They just spent the last week showing that when it comes to you, they can't be trusted."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Keitaro, I don't want to discuss it. Until I hear some explanations and apologies for their little 'game', then maybe I don't know them as well as I thought. Also, when Kitsune inevitably asks us about last night—tell her we tried, but nothing else. As long as she's chuckling, she's not scheming."

Later, as they prepared to depart in a desperate bid to meet Grandma back at the Inn and confirm Keitaro's choice of wife, Haruka saw further evidence that life back at the Sou was about to become interesting. Well, more interesting anyway.

"Motoko, will there be more lessons when we get back?"

The samurai girl stared down at one she held dear to her heart, but the tenderness was decidedly less pronounced.

"Not for the present, Kaolla Su. In fact, we may need to review old lessons I taught you—or rather attempted to."

"Oh. Okay."

Haruka saw Shinobu mouth 'Not Okay' silently, and saw her also shoot a glare Kitsune's way. For the moment, no one challenged Haruka's designation of Kitsune as her successor, and Haruka correctly guessed that all the tensions would be buried until Grandma came and went. Mutsumi seemed cheery as ever and at least that was something. The plane took off, and Haruka saw her new step-daughter shaking her head.

"Ya know, I tried to tell Su that, maybe if her people had done a little thinking, my Dad wouldn't have become a fugitive. I mean, I had fun, but being an outlaw from your best friend is a little weird-scary."

Seta had found yet another set of artifacts out of nowhere, so Haruka responded to Sarah's words alone.

"What did she say?"

"Oh, she totally didn't get it. Just said she was gonna build a robot me for when I wasn't around. I'll miss her—heck, I'll miss all of them. Then again, I could really use a little down-time."

A set of sentiments Haruka found herself in complete agreement with. Later that night, when Sarah was asleep, Seta was astounded to see a tear in his new bride's eye.

"Are you alright?"

She shook her head.

"I will be. It's just that, once upon a time, I took care of this cute sweet little baby who thought I was the sun, the stars and the moon---"

She fell into his arms.

"…and now, he's all grown up."

He put a finger under her chin.

"He'll always love you, he'll always need you---"

Seta shared his student's tendency not to know when to shut up.

"---and before too long, he'll make you a great-Auntie!"

In the fury that followed, it was confirmed that Seta had indeed picked up the durability of the Urashimas. Also, the exact phrase 'Great-Auntie' was banned from household discussions forevermore.


	3. Chapter Two Once Motoko Unto The Brunch

**Chapter Two - Once Motoko Unto The Brunch**

* * *

PRIVATE JOURNAL, MOTOKO AOYAMA, AUGUST 15th, 2001

Grandma Hina came and went, confirming as she did her grandson's choice, celebrating the growth of both Urashima and Narusegawa from a boy and a girl wracked by weakness of mind and body to a man and a woman capable of standing ready to claim a dream. It occurred to me that some might think one or the other's prior weakness to be greater than the other, but only a warrior like Grandma would understand that either weakness can be a grave one.

I half-expected, and perhaps even hoped, that Kanako would remain with us, but her part in our lives seems destined to remain hit-and-run. In her sight, I cut a motion into the air with my blade. I knew she would recognize it as an invocation of protection of the Sou and a warning to her: She must never again assault the residents of the Sou in any way. Though she has been my ally, and I would like to call her an even deeper friend, she skirts the edge of tactics that are inherently dishonorable. One cannot be a samurai woman while also, apologies to Maehara-San, playing the Shinobu. Grandma restrains her before she can respond, telling me much. Kanako is a work-in-progress for the Great Demon, a hurricane she unleashed to blow the mist off of her brother's progress. I wish her well, but there will be no more barrels. I have been imprisoned enough for my lifetime. If I must, I will even find a way to mark her, so as to more easily smoke out her disguises.

As Urashima and Naru walk away from the receding anti-climax (I half-expected Mutsumi's family to assault the compound with giant turtles), Shinobu approaches me. Her look is dour, and not at all what I expect from one so cheery and bright.

"Motoko, I think they're going to the Todai entrance again."

I worry for a moment, and then ask her a question.

"And you wish to stop them?"

For just a moment before she regains herself, her look is purest rage.

"Are you crazy? I just want to make sure no one stops them this time. Help me, Motoko. Because you owe them, and you owe *Me*."

I knew this matter would arise. Lying to her about my intentions in stopping our friends from entering Todai Gate before Seta involved us in Molmol will likely remain one of my lowest moments. I had my reasons, but like much else in my life, those are a bit of a muddle.

"If I do this, will you agree to accept my apologies and hear my explanations?"

"Sure. But let's nail the others down first."

Kaolla Su we found in her room, shaking her head at her many layers of electronic equipment. I had almost been avoiding her, horrible though that sounds, even as words on a page. I am not angry or bitter for her actions in Molmol, though I may be the only one besides Urashima, who it at times seems, simply cannot hold a grudge. But those actions make me concerned for her, and for myself, as her sensei and guide. I vary between returning the very deepest love she has for me and then again regarding it as the crush of a chaotic child whose scattershot affections buffet all about her in winds of mania. But whether she is prospect or daughter to me, to say that she is anything but dear to my heart is a lie I could not survive the telling of.

"Motoko, Shinobu---none of my stuff works anymore! All the chips and hard drives have been wiped. The mechas are down for the count too."

Shinobu's answer was too swift and too certain for my comfort.

"The wiring in the Sou is old. Maybe a power surge came through while we were locked up—locked into finishing up in Molmol."

"NO! I mean, I purchased high-end surge protectors to guard against just this kind of thing. It's like an E-M pulse from an atom bomb hit just this one room."

I personally was glad to see Su divorced from her VR overload, yet I knew well that the time she spent with her computers and video games was a peaceful time for the rest of the household, and maybe even a safety valve for their tolerance. Yet it was the lack of a stream of reassuring words from Shinobu that worried me more than Urashima's blood pressure.

"Well, after all, you're a princess. You have money. Could you afford seven first-class train tickets, cross-country?"

"uhhh…sure? That's no problem."

"Then you can afford all new stuff."

I did not at all like the conclusion I was drawing.

"But I was waiting till the next-gen stuff came out in five months."

"Well, keep checking then. Maybe—"

Shinobu's light shake of the head fooled me not at all.

"Maybe this is fate's way of telling you *No*."

I have come to believe that the true difference between we ladies and Urashima has nothing to do with private parts and curves. It is that he is an honest fool who knows it, and we are all self-delusional fools. Shinobu stood there, not comprehending the cost of what she was doing. Su, despite lessons I had given her in reading people's words, tones and gestures, did not pick up on the painfully obvious clues her friend was all but transmitting. Shinobu I will refer to Urashima and Naru. Su is my failure, and she seems by turns to almost be a complete one.

"Let's check on Kitsune next."

"Shinobu, stop."

Her hurry to find the actively mischievous Kitsune evaporated all too quickly.

"Okay."

Her look held no regrets, so nor did I hold back.

"What did you do to Su's things?"

Her room was right next to us, and without a word, she reached into it and pulled out a metal bucket.

"It's full of magnets. I spread them as soon as we got back. It's her own fault for not 'rugged-izing' her equipment."

She put the bucket aside.

"Kind of like it was my fault for believing that any of you had any real interest in letting me talk to Sempai Keitaro before their first attempt to reach Todai Gate."

Pursuing a heart-felt goal regardless of any other consideration seems a low thing when the thing you failed to consider was the heart of another.

"You want my apology? You have it. I am sorry, Shinobu Maehara, that I lied to you when I had the ulterior motive of giving Urashima one last chance to choose me. Understand, it was difficult enough for me to admit to loving him in the first place. To simply state that I would run after him in the slender hopes he would change his affections from Naru to me was more than I could bear."

Her face softened before my eyes, but so much doubt and anger still remained.

"What about the Inn?"

This child was tasking me as much as my sister, but she had the right in this case, so I did not correct her harsh tone just yet.

"Not a factor in my choice. I am set to inherit property myself, if you recall."

Her look was now much more typically Shinobu, but still not quite.

"What was up with those Sentai costumes we put on? Why didn't we just call them up? They have cell phones—at least I'm sure Naru does. We could have just asked them to wait until we got there."

I had really been hoping to avoid that one entirely. As my sister always said, Kami only puts them in our skulls, so don't blame him if we don't use them.

"That was just stupidity. We forgot that, when in a rush, its best to not let Kitsune and Su make our battle plans—or really, any plans at all."

Her looks became harsh once again.

"So that's it? They're just that way, and we keep on cleaning up and licking our wounds after their actions? For how long, Motoko? For-how-long?"

"They are hardly the only ones to cause problems in this household."

"No, they're just the only ones to shrug it off. We forgave Sempai Keitaro for lying about Todai when he first arrived, but he still hears about it sometimes, even though it was at least partly a misunderstanding. I can't count how many times I've heard about my kicking him in the ba—err downstairs. You fell into despair over your sister's demands. Sempai Naru fell apart after failing her Todai exam. You're right. We all spend time in the barrel. Only two of us never learn from it or change enough to matter."

The things she was saying had crossed my mind, yet I could not allow it to go unchallenged.

"None of this justifies destroying another's property. Also, you put up with the things they do as much as any of us have. Why is it intolerable now?"

This wasn't as simple as her making an awkward try for Urashima's affections, then running off in tears, proclaiming him a jerk—said jerkdom likely earning him his place among us. Naru may find it irritating that her man in a constant state of over-apology, but at least that has always meant he is quick to own up where he truly is wrong. The ones Shinobu holds responsible for her pain are at least less likely to acknowledge or even realize the toes they stepped on. Again, for one of those I can only blame myself.

Shinobu made the shape of a gun with her right-hand's fingers, then put it to her head.

"Click-Click! Don't Move! Click-Click! Sign The Contract, or spend your life in a comfortable jail! Ok—Shinobu—we're going to Todai so you can say your peace—no, it's so we can force a man into a marriage for a property scam—wait, no—it's so we can bring them back from a kingdom we never heard of before—wait again---it's so we can pay them back for all the public kissing—oops—it's now either to give the couple one last grand adventure---"

She fought back tears as she spoke, and her frustration was mine as well.

"---or finally, it's so we all can state how we really feel and not let him not choosing us go completely unchallenged---or maybe Kitsune had another explanation tucked aside somewhere, I don't know, and I don't care! I mean, state how we all feel? THAT's why we went to Todai in the first place! If everyone wanted a turn, we could have had it, maybe just under the wire before Seta showed up. And you, *honorable warrior*---"

She pointed at me in fury.

"---you had already confessed to him. I know what you said about one last shot, but they weren't getting married—just confirming their love. That was all I wanted, Motoko—was just to state unequivocally to the man I loved---love—that he was just that. To make sure that he knew that and to find out if it changed anything. I knew it probably couldn't, the same as you. But thanks to selfishness and stunts, I ended up bottomless—with all of you slapping him—I ended up running off to someplace its ruler could have phoned the authorities to clear things up—arrested, thrown in jail—and loaded guns shoved in my face. And no, it doesn't matter that the guns weren't fired and the jail was nice—all this was still done by a friend. To win a game."

I had to redirect her wrath, even if at me.

"Shinobu—several months back I gave Kaolla Su lessons on how to be a truly just ruler. I obviously failed to bring those lessons home for her."

Briefly, I considered how foolish this was to strain old friendships over one man. Then, I realized that at some point, Kaolla Su was like as not to push matters this far in the pursuit of some goal.

"Motoko—all respect, but wake up. She is an absolute ruler with her own money and her own kingdom, and an army of trigger-happy lunatics at her disposal. She never has to be a just ruler. I briefly considered just going to Todai myself. I didn't want to be that selfish, at least in part because I have to live in a world where you don't want your friends thinking you're just in it for yourself. But two of us again, never want to live in that world, and primal selfishness is just doing business. The lessons you taught her are not at fault. The lesson you and I have just learned about dealing with *happy-go-lucky* *free-spirits* is one we should have learned a long time ago."

I came to a bitter realization of my own.

"Where is Kitsune?"

"I saw her leaving your room, and head right for hers. She never left. Probably asleep."

"And Mutsumi?"

"Left to be with her folks. I think they're breeding a turtle they call a Kamebas for one of the newer Godzilla films."

My anger began to rise, at having been so played.

"You already knew where everyone was when you asked me to stop them from interfering with Naru and Urashima's journey to Todai Gate, didn't you, Shinobu?"

She folded her arms, looking quite defiant.

"I said that my goal was to prevent anyone from stopping them. You were the only one I had left on the list."

She then held up one hand while closing her eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry too. But until this talk, I didn't know if you could be trusted. I don't like feeling this way, Motoko. But I realize I can't let my guard down when two of the people I thought really mattered to me and me to them are fixated on where their next chuckle, drink or cheap thrill comes from."

"Shinobu—turn from this path. It isn't healthy, it isn't right, and it isn't you."

Her face showed no signs of relenting.

"You realize I'll have to tell Sempai Naru about how you knew who Su was, 'months ago' when you taught her those lessons about rulers, right?"

Her mind had done the math. I should have been vaguer.

"I was sworn to secrecy. Let me tell Naru myself."

"You have a day. Motoko—can they change? I mean, we are who we are, but if the rest of us have to, then why don't they?"

I gave her the best answer I could.

"They do have to. Rulers are overthrown, and tricksters find themselves in trouble that being cute won't easily solve. Perhaps we owe it to them to force their evolution, before at last giving up."

"Perhaps. I'm---gonna go and hard-boil some eggs. I don't feel much like cooking a big meal."

She was being unfair, perhaps massively so, and I am certain that if pressed, her memory of wrongs past would prove biased and selective. But each injustice she uttered proceeded firmly from the real and verifiable. I adore Su and hold Kitsune as a sister, but I am on the verge of cursing them both for infecting Shinobu's light spirit with such cynicism. In Kitsune's case, the evolution will have to come from catastrophe. She's too old and too canny to be tricked or guided. But Su? Her I will save from herself—with the aid of the man who is not my destination, but rather my journey.

An hour or so later, three of us cracked open hard-boiled eggs, doused with some pepper, vinegar and a little wasabi. Kitsune still hasn't gotten up, and Su still seems down about the collapse of her electronic world. Shinobu quietly promised never to repeat such an act, and to remit back her Molmolian army bonus. I am still worried for her, and the extremes she went to ensuring our friends made their journey unhindered this time. I think she may not be over Urashima. But it is Su, so deflated by the loss of constant over-stimulation that makes me queasy inside. Is it as Shinobu said? Addicted to instant thrills, her psyche must eventually lapse into unthinking, even cruel acts?

A smiling happy pair enters our home, a childhood dream at last fulfilled. They each grab up an egg, a grateful bow and smile at Shinobu, who seems contented for now—almost. If I am wrong, and she is at peace with her love's rejection, what are the terms of that peace?

"We'll be---"

"Yeah—we'll be---"

Looking sickeningly cute, they say the final word together.

"Upstairs."

I cannot let them just yet, and grab her arm.

"Naru? Please. I need to apologize for the part I played during the events in Molmol."

It was not all my fault, to be sure, and if she somehow holds me so, we have real problems.

Her face holds some anger, but she pulls me out of the kitchen area and speaks gently.

"Apology accepted. Keitaro said you didn't put up the kind of fight you could have on the dirigible. Kanako's gone, and I guess whatever wasn't part of Grandma's plans, she'll answer for from somebody scarier than me. Shinobu is as bad at over-apologizing as Keitaro, and I can't see her being any sort of mastermind."

Had there been time, I would have told her to be not so sure.

"Are we truly at peace, then?"

"I—still have some questions, Motoko. You went against something you all knew was more important to me than anything, and if you were playing a game, you never bothered to say so till the end. But for right now---"

She looked up the stairs at what would now become *their* bedroom, and at a grinning pervert whose company I envied her.

"—fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, and bees gotta buzz."

As the wizened Jedi Master said, there is no try, only do. They were about to do.

"Shinobu—"

"Don't go upstairs for a while. I'm not that naïve, Motoko. Heh. Maybe we'll all be Aunties before too long."

She was trying, but I felt that neither her nor Naru's raw nerves were salved quite just yet. Another raw nerve now presented itself.

"Do you think they need help up there?"

"No, Su. They most definitely do not need any help from anyone. What they need to do, they can accomplish on their own."

"If you're sure. Oh, about what you said to Naru about apologizing?"

I took heart and hope at this.

"Yes?"

"Ummm—what did you do to her in Molmol that she's upset about?"

Hope was dashed and my heart ripped out. Even with so obvious and clear a connection, she failed to reason it out. Her brilliance in the sciences and her joy in living still were at odds with a disconnect from basic realities. I sent her to watch the living room TV. Shinobu said something unnecessary as I left to go to my room upstairs—carefully avoiding the increasingly noisy, laughing primates at play in Naru's room.

Shinobu placed her finger against her cheek and half-closed one eye.

"Weee---llll, I guess I'll take a break from world domination for awhile, till I figure out why everyone is so strangely upset about being shot at and arrested."

I felt her distress, but had taken enough of it for then and there.

"Should I now run off in tears, proclaiming Urashima a jerk for failing to get information I failed to give him?"

The peace was evaporating.

"I don't know, Motoko. Maybe I should express my feelings for him via threats of dismemberment?"

I withdrew, and thankfully she said nothing as I did. I heard the noise of their lovemaking as I passed, but wisely chose not to linger. Among Urashima's video treasures I once found a series of cheaply-animated vids wherein a woman made herself merry while spying on a couple in the throes. I may or may not be less uptight now, but I still regard that as pathetic.

"Be well, my friends. Be happy---damn you both."

Inside my room, I elected to toast their dreams having been fulfilled. In a box far inside the closet, I reached for a bottle of sake. The contents of this bottle is only ever to be drunk in smallest doses. It is both too strong and too rare. A master of the art produces these especially for my clan only once during his tenure, and then all must wait until his successor is of age. Wrapped in cloth, kept cool and dry, it is as smooth as it is powerful, and—it is gone.

"How would anyone know what I kept in a hidden recess, out of sight, and never mentioned? Who could find a secret hidden bottle of----sake?"

With stealth, I made my way past the increasingly boisterous lover's lair and into another's room. Ignoring the totally snookered, I obtained the emptied bottle which is rare in and of itself and returned to my room. The contents that should in theory have lasted until the new lovers were new grandparents were gone, and a woman once a sister had in my eyes finally exceeded my limits. Despite hours of meditation with headphones on (those two must each be part elephant), I still said one word over and over, not in friendship but in rage.

"Kitsune!"

END ENTRY

* * *

"You were sloppy."

"I know."

"You went way too fast."

"I know."

"You have no technique."

"I know."

"We were both way too nervous."

"Yeah."

She clambered atop him, and looked right into his eyes, squealing one word.

"Again!"

"Oh, yeah."

"Did you just see a light?"

"Probably the sun. We've been at this awhile."

"And so we will be, Mister Narusegawa!"

"Hey! We're not even married yet, and you'll take my name, and…oh who the hell cares?"

Crawling back to her room, a woman not quite cognizant of her immense peril checked the viewscreen on her digital camera.

"I think some glossies are in order. My—how they both have grown!"

Many interesting things were about to happen at the Hinata-Sou. Peace was not among them.


	4. Chapter Three Brand Naru Day

**Chapter Three - Brand Naru Day**

* * *

HINATA-SOU, EARLY 1990'S

Once upon a time, there was a very serious girl and another very serious girl---who was very serious about never being serious at all.

One was quite intent on her studies, yet also allowed time for dreams and intangibles, this including a promise she wasn't even really sure she made with someone she simply could not remember. She sometimes felt bad about this, because what she could remember of it included that the one she'd made the promise with had been really nice to her when she was in a bad way. But that was the past, and both the promise and her studies pointed to the same future: Tokyo University, called the Harvard or Oxford of Japan, often called by its nickname of Todai.

One was quite the social creature, and her dreams were of yen—or dollars, pounds, marks, francs—tangibles that could be spent. If Madonna had meant a certain song sarcastically, this girl was one of those who took it to heart. She saw nothing wrong with this, and made no apologies for it. Her goals included such things as good food, good sake and lots of guys with big—well big *everything* except guts—and if they had enough dough, the gut thing could be graded on a curve. She did treasure her friends, and she knew she could be and often was a primeval pain in the ass. Her solution was to care about the people she cared about while caring nothing about what they thought of what she did. She had once tried to be cognizant of such things, but she had become one of those nervous wrecks unable to tie their shoelaces and basically apologizing for breathing.

Either improbably or predictably, these two had become fast friends when they had moved into a hotel turned into a girls' dormitory. This wonderful dichotomy, this comic union of opposites, this alignment of opposing magnetic poles is important to note, because the first girl was about to beat the living snot out of the second one.

"Konno-San, you got me in trouble again!"

"Errr—yeah. But, if you really think about it, if not for me, you'd never get in trouble at all."

"Well, I guess you have a point---no you don't! Why do I even bother trying to prevent you from trying to pull your crazy crap? All that happens is, I get in trouble with Grandma and Haruka-San, and then my parents when they call up."

"Maybe you aren't really trying to prevent me—maybe you're just going along for the ride, and using my behavior as cover so you can break out of the box you've built around you."

"Konno-San, why is it that the more outlandish and ridiculous things you say, the crazier the next thing you say always is?"

Mitsune Konno now wished she had gotten a few more drinks in her before a fuming Haruka had dragged them both back by their ears, complaining that a baby cousin whose diapers she had changed had given her less crap. Dealing with her uptight pal would likely drive a monk to the hard stuff.

"I like to build on my previous work, Naru-chan. And for the last time, call me Mitsune. I only put the –Chan on your name at your insistence."

"I don't know. That's awfully familiar, don't you think?"

The sly girl sensed her opening, and for good and ill, it would be something she could never turn down.

"We're friends, aren't we? You moved in this place to be near me. Naru, we're like two sides of the same coin. Night and day. Chaos and Order. Yin and Yang…"

Mitsune pressed up against a stunned Naru, and began to rub just a bit. She moved to slowly caress Naru's hair.

"…Male and Female. I've kept it hidden my entire life, Naru. But my feelings for you won't let me anymore. Everything reminds me of you—except you."

Naru felt her heart race, and could barely stutter a response.

"Y-you-you're a---you have a—aaaa—"

Mitsune pulled away and pointed at her skirt.

"My parents really wanted a girl. It's a lie I've had to live. But for a treasure as priceless as you, Narusegawa-Dono, I must reveal who and what I truly am."

"Price—less? Me?"

She sauntered back up and got close to the shaking Naru.

"Everything about you is priceless. But what's most priceless of all…"

As Naru froze in terror and anticipation of possible seduction or even violation, Mitsune whispered in her ear.

"…what's most priceless of all is the look on your face as you fell for this."

Mitsune pulled back, almost losing her breath as she all but horse-laughed.

"I mean, we've bathed together in the onsen! I must have bent over in front of you how many times? If I had a thing, don't you think you would have spotted it out by now?"

One girl was in her glory, having pulled off the joke of several lifetimes. Another blew off her calm studious demeanor and formed a fist, leaping onto her friend's back, punching her in the head as she screamed.

"I-HAVE-HAD-ENOUGH-OF-YOU!!!"

"OW! Hey! Hey! That hurts! Hey! You're like—OW!—freakishly strong! C'mon, Naru! It was just a—OWWW!!"

Fearing that she might actually hurt her, Naru got off, shaking her head as a stunned Mitsune lay back in bed.

"I just can't take you seriously, can I? I mean, for anything. Anything at all."

The look on Mitsune Konno's face went past the mock-hurt one she was capable of instantly adopting. It was neither as smooth nor as steady as her practiced one, which told Naru Narusegawa that it was very likely real.

"It was just a joke. I'm sorry I tried to break up your planned-out existence. I'm sorry you don't have a sense of humor."

Mitsune turned away on the futon, which led a Naru half-certain she was again being set up to give in and embrace her from behind.

"I do enjoy being here with you, Mitsune-Chan. You make it fun. But it's like you never know when to stop. Even without you around, I know I have to stop studying eventually, and I've seen Haruka-Ryobo go without smokes when she's been through a pack too quickly. There is such a thing as self-restraint, you know."

"Stop, Naru."

"You're still upset?"

Mitsune turned around and looked at her.

"No. But you're making me hard."

Naru's eyes rolled. Mitsune shrugged.

"Like my folks always said – Mitsune is a Kitsune!"

Naru's rage was spent for then, and she prepared to turn in.

"Problem is, foxes get killed by farmers, and turned into fur coats. That could even happen to a fox spirit, if she goes too far. Still waters run deep, 'Kitsune' Konno—and there won't always be someone there to pull you out—if you know what I'm talking about."

Mitsune prepared to turn in as well. She knew that on that night, there would be no sneaking past both Grandma and Haruka.

"Naru, do you have any porn?"

"Of course not!"

"Damn. We need a guy around here. Guys always have a porn stash you can raid."

"We don't need a guy, and you are changing the subject."

"Meh—I say, just smile for a while and let's get jolly—life shouldn't be so melancholy. Just enjoy the good times while we can."

"That's as empty a philosophy as I ever heard."

"Well, I beg your pardon. Night, Naru."

"Night, *Kitsune*."

When the lights were off, Naru proved herself to be neither so trusting nor so uptight as her friend believed. Mitsune felt something, then yelped.

"Hey! I SAID it was a joke!"

"Just making sure."

----------------

HINATA SOU, 2001

"Is anything wrong?"

After their last and wildest session, she lay on her stomach. Trying to lie on her backside might prove difficult at that point.

"Yes. You are a monster who violated an innocent young girl in the sickest way possible."

"Even though that same young girl rolled around with her back to me, backside in the air, screaming 'Man Up and just do it---I can take it if you can'?"

Naru managed to turn on her side, still feeling the effects of what she had in fact demanded.

"Welll—I never said I didn't enjoy it."

Keitaro embraced her from behind for the first time in hours without trying to start something.

"Then what's wrong?"

"Why aren't you apologizing, like usual?"

"Because I finally realized you have never been shy about letting me know your moods. Because with us, there will always be a later we can hash things out."

"Keitaro, I don't want to hate her—any of them."

She gently nudged him off and looked at him, ironically affording him a view that, mere months before, would have brought about a flurry of punches and cries for help.

"But in this case, 'Oh Well, That's Just Us' isn't gonna cut it. I don't expect a hands-and-knees apology. But no guy—even you—justifies screwing around with a sister's dream. I was off balance the entire time I was in Molmol, and the people I count on to help me back up were instead spinning me around and shoving me back down."

Keitaro hated hearing this, and he hated even more seeing her like this, so he tried to take that anger apart piece by piece. Mutsumi had been with them the whole time, so he skipped her.

"Motoko?"

"Offered up a partial apology, promised to explain more. Good enough to take the edge off."

* * *

A few hours before, in her room, a girl who felt she was not yet a woman heard a dear friend in theory become one—and a lot more than just once. She was a warrior born, and yet she felt not bold at all.

*Well, at least this time she's not grabbing it, thinking it's soap or a washcloth.*

She tried to think of other things than the motions and laughter tearing through the walls of their home. But the light noises downstairs in the kitchen told her Shinobu had likely been awakened by the sounds of her dream dying on the vine, just as Motoko had by the sounds of her sister's deflowering, prior to fleeing to the Sou.

*You made Shinobu cry, Urashima. Then again, Heaven Help Me, that doesn't seem that hard to do. This won't be your last heart-break, Maehara-Chan—and at least it as by a man who really does hold you in the highest—well, nearly the highest regard and affection.*

The lack of any noise from Su's habitat-like room had to say it all.

*Try and sleep outside your machines' world, my little heart. Have those things you strap to your head and hands stunted your dreaming? Is that why you failed to understand why your friends might be so upset at your behavior in Molmol? I must intervene on your behalf. Yet I am a commoner speaking to a queen. If you choose your rights to ignore my lessons over the love everyone here holds for you, then I fear for us on every level.*

The ornate bottle had been repackaged for shipping back to the Aoyama family shrine. It would not decorate the walls of the one who had emptied its entire precious contents.

*You are not without any conscience and you are not truly cruel, Konno-San. Yet how many times have I had to tell outsiders exactly that? What kind of pass have we come to that we are mooning over one we had dismissed and severely underestimated, while being forced to consider the removal of not one but two sisters?*

Taking sand to blade, Motoko tried like hell to purify herself as well as her sword.

-------------------

"Kanako?"

"Is Crazy."

* * *

The Hawaiian Islands Costume Play festival was in full swing. Awards had been given out to a series of brilliant participants. One had gone as legendary racing character Go Mifune, and had easily affected both the voices of the native Katsuji Mori and the American Peter Fernandez when the character was renamed *Speed Racer*. Another had gone as shocking breakthrough character Lucy The Horned Girl, her flesh-colored outfit so well-made that the judges had to check to be sure she wasn't really nude. Three girls had stolen the show as Legion Of Super-Heroes' veteran Triplicate Girl, with two vanishing and reappearing as though by magic. When no less than King Ghidorah appeared, it nearly caused a panic. Scale aside, the people inside had done a master's job at bringing the perennial dakaiju to life. It sneered at several delighted children, and finally at one old woman who was less than impressed.

"Did you never stop and consider that your brother has always been able to see through your disguises, because in his mind, your brother is all he will ever be?"

A dejected girl slid out of the large costume, and the whispers across the convention said the unbelievable, that she had been in every costume that had cleaned out the major awards.

* * *

"Yeah. She is. Shinobu?"

* * *

It wasn't always a bad thing to be awoken early, she thought, as she diced vegetables as they had never been diced before. She wanted to try a recipe for beef barley soup Sempai had obtained for her from a fancy American restaurant, and now seemed the time to make her first attempt.

The fine powder that had once been the ingredients told her that just maybe she was distracted.

*Couldn't they have rented a room somewhere?*

**Baka! This is a hotel, after all, and he owns it now. Those are both your Sempais. Be happy for them, for they have earned this. Did he ever lead you on? Did it ever really seem like he would choose someone besides her?**

*He had to know how I felt.*

**Then why did you need to confess? You are angry at a man who treated you with kindness and respect. You are angry with the women who you regard as a role model. You are angry with the woman and the girl you wish you were as bold as---**

The second voice in Shinobu's head stopped, then picked up again.

**---okay, those two have been pure assholes and have it coming. But you went along with them, having been burned how many times? Don't let your delight in how free they are keep getting in the way of keeping them from dancing on your feet. You keep this rage in, Maehara, and you will end up like that bespectacled girl on the MTV cartoon.**

*What do I do? What would you have me do?*

**Destroy them all. Make all the Humans pay, for keeping you from your one true love, merely because of your horns.**

*Wha-aa—ut?*

**Just kidding. That speech was meant for another young unrequited. All jokes aside, make this the day. Even if you fall flat on your face, make all of them aware of the way you feel, and how maybe they should have been more aware of it to begin with.**

*I will—and I think I better hit the couch for a while.*

And somewhere across the multiverse of infinite possibilities, an angry young demigod was told by her inner voice to cook up a nice meal for her housemates.

Not that this has anything to do with the residents of the Hinata-Sou

* * *

"Shinobu is crazy in love with you, and never shy about wearing it on her sleeve. Part of me wants to slap her for listening to anything Su and Kitsune said, but I've been where she was. Plus, while the rest of you were asleep on the plane back, she tried to apologize for the stunt at Todai being her fault. She thought they were going down so she could confess to you. Like there was anyone who really needed to know where she stood."

"Huh. Even I got her, mostly. Until Molmol, I didn't realize how it was tearing her apart-or really, that I was the sort of guy who could place a girl as cute and sweet as her in that position."

She hit him in the arm.

"Baka! A girl doesn't get over her Sempai."

He made a fist and slowly shoved her in the arm with it.

"Oh?! Should I worry? Should Auntie?"

She lay back, and did a stretch that made the blood vessels in his nose take notice, as they had not for a few months.

"Always."

-----------------

"You called them this early—or late?"

Haruka shrugged.

"Once a House-Moth—errr-Monitor, always one. I only got Shinobu, about to go back to bed. There were—Heh—loud boisterous noises in the background. Squeals and moans of pleasure."

Seta smiled as well, but then seemed torn.

"I hope it goes alright for her. The boy has determination, but often no technique, when approaching new things."

Haruka lit a cigarette, sensing that Sarah was soon to show her American side as regarded attitudes toward tobacco.

"I wouldn't worry. After all---"

She puffed deeply.

"I liked his technique just fine."

Seta began to chuckle along with her, until both heard a noise from the next room.

"Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!"

Then came the inevitable, synchronized response:

"Go to sleep, Sarah!"

"Yeah, right—with that nightmare image burned into my tender brain."

* * *

Keitaro went for broke.

"Su?"

Her lovely face shifted.

"I want to feel the same way I do about Shinobu. I try to shrug it all off and say that we did have fun, and I guess we did—but that fun was after, and in retrospect. During it, I began to be terrified that they'd all lost their minds."

She sat up, and brought her legs to her chest.

"How could she do all that? It's one thing to bounce around, be a bit annoying to a lot annoying, and make efforts to help that make a crazy situation crazier—I mean, none of us are going to be casting the first stone on that one."

* * *

She hadn't even realized the cameras were recording all that time. Her video log had been a casualty of her short attention span, and recessed as they were, they had been missed by both herself and the saboteur.

"Oh, No! Please…that can't be true."

Kaolla Su now wished that they had been destroyed as well. It wasn't just who she saw spreading the magnets.

"She's smiling…and muttering."

Was she possessed by the spirits of the annex, or maybe the ancient Molmolian thief? Hadn't Sarah mentioned something about that?

"Shinobu, why?"

Everything was so right now, wasn't it? Her Japanese Onii and Onee Chans were together and happy, just like her Molmolian ones, and hadn't they all had fun in Molmol? Weren't they happy that their dear friend was a secret princess? She also realized that Shinobu hadn't been the only one acting strangely since they got back. They had all been talking with one another, except for Kitsune, who she had meant to tell about a bottle Su saw her take from Motoko's room, but a cardinal she saw outside pulled her attention away. In any event, they had not been talking with her.

"Even Motoko."

The world outside the real world, where there always seemed to be a dozen reasons why you can't tell the people you love that you do, and so many other reasons why you can't just demonstrate that love (just why couldn't Keitaro be all of theirs?), once again overwhelmed the mind of a girl capable of out-thinking most models of modern physics theory.

"If even Motoko won't tell me something…"

She drifted off to sleep, ironically finding the noises of lovemaking a comfort like unto a lullaby.

* * *

Keitaro concurred without comment or nod as Naru kept on.

"But she kidnapped us both—was ready to peel you like a grape—used her army to hunt all of us around perdition's flame---"

She lost her train of thought, and he picked up.

"She said she 'just wanted' to have both me and Motoko forever, and bring the Sou over to Molmol—it's not like she doesn't care about the rules, so much as she still doesn't get the vast majority of them. She's so bright, it's hard to realize that, and she's so sweet, it's hard to see her as a spoiled brat. I don't even think she is, but all I could think while she was taking down my underwear was that at some point, every kid needs to be told a real 'No', and I don't think she ever has."

"Oh—that's all you were thinking, as the pretty young princess prepared to give you mouth-to-not-mouth?"

Her smile told him he was safe.

"She's as cute as she can be—but the unreality of all that was going on and her casual attitude towards it all was a hell of a focusing device. Naru, give Motoko and me a chance to straighten her out. Now that we finally know her level of disconnect, I think we can drill past all those layers of 'do what you want'."

"Without crushing her spirit?"

He put a hand on her shoulder.

"She called me Onii-Chan in her sleep. It may be the fight of our lives, but we can get through to her before someone of harsher intent and manners has the chance. Kaolla Su is a pain worth having around."

That left one name.

"Kitsune."

At that, Naru actually began to tear up.

* * *

*Strong Sake.*

She had no idea. The elixir she had all but chugged was made by a vintner said by some to have an ancestor who brewed the mead that kept Amaterasu The Sun from going back to her cave too often.

*Got really snookered. Have to get some more of that from Motoko.*

Motoko indeed had something to give her, but to paraphrase Bela Lugosi, it was to not to be paid in wine.

*Uh-oh—smells good. What are you cooking up, Shinobu?*

Not breakfast, lunch, dinner or snack. Shinobu was contemplating Kitsune's desserts. Maybe with Kitsune herself as an ingredient.

*Su—wanted to know if somebody was in her room. Heh—don't we all wish—almost all. There was someone—but that show about the four grandmothers talking sex and food was on, so just lock your door next time, kid.*

Kaolla Su was not angry with Kitsune, a fact in which she was possibly unique. That said, she did have a rude surprise waiting for her one-time mercenary commander of forces.

*Use my bonus—to get some mileage on Mutsumi. Then again, saw a picture of Sarah's Mom. May have to go all-out in the boob wars.*

Mutsumi, who was calmly walking to a coastal train station, had no worries at all. One, she could almost sense that her beloved childhood playmates had begun to play in earnest. Two—women in her family had a habit of increasing bust size well into their 50's without a hint of sagging and not much wrinkling, to hear her grandmother's 18-year-old boyfriend tell it.

*Did those two finally stop? Hey, wait—did I do something to them last night? Maybe I peed on the floor outside their room? Something like that. Can't think right now. But I know it must have been a good one. But---maybe they don't need to loosen up anymore. Maybe they don't need old Kit--*

The thought was terminated and she began to have an odd dream where she deliberately exposed her chest to Keitaro. It had to be a dream, because he didn't fly apart when she did.

She was about to have *one of those days*, magnified by enormous psychological and karmic payback. For then and there, the trickster-goddess of the Hinata-Sou slept it off and muttered.

"Why is it always the right one? Nothing wrong with the left one."

-----------------

"I love Kitsune. I know that without her, I would have vegetated in my room, and either studied myself blind or to death. You wouldn't have had any worries about beatings—I'dve never noticed you if you –well, if you took by force what I gave you last night. Where you were just a little while ago is where I had my head."

She closed her eyes, and tried to avoid letting those tears out.

"But it's always been a debt here, a broken promise there, a boy stolen this day, a boy she felt didn't make the cut turned away without telling me the next day, a prank that gets us both in trouble followed up by a prank that just makes me look foolish. Not to mention the countless times she's gotten blasted and done that stupid 'pick a favorite' thing—or just forced me to drag her sorry ass back to the Sou."

She opened them and looked him in the eye.

"I always accepted her explanations that it was to keep things from getting boring, and to shake things up in a society where the rules always have ten reasons why you can't do anything. Believe me, if anyone had ever said the things I'm saying, I would have defended her tooth and nail—in fact I have. She loves life and living it, and it can be infectious. I know she also loves money, and since it can make life easier, I never really faulted her for it."

They drew closer together.

"Now, though? This wasn't just some boy she tried to steal—and not even because she fell for him. She stood literally blocking the doorway to a dream I'd told her about till she was ready to faint if I did it even one more time. Then, she either used a girl who didn't know better or threw in with a tyrant to hold me against my will—no mention of a game, and no actions to cause me to believe it was just a game. Now, I can't help but feel the crazy greedy idiot who couldn't get that a rope can burn through a shirt and that a whip doesn't care if you meant to crack it near someone without hitting them---"

She finally began to cry.

"---I can't help but feel that, once and for all, this was her true face!"

He let her tears flow, and when they had reached a natural break, he spoke.

"Then you have to confront her. Don't let her shrug it off, or use any defense until you get what you want from her. I don't envy you trying. From losing jobs because of her to attempts to pay rent through boob-grabs to being sometimes four months out on her rent—she's only three right now—to pranks galore, she can be a trip."

"She's been a friend, but she's also been a boil on my butt for a lot longer than you've been around."

"Then lance that boil. Either she can once and for all get why you're upset, or at least figure out that you're upset, or---"

He let the other option go. Banishing one of their friends from their lives was all but unthinkable.

"Well, I have to see her this morning anyway. She borrowed my digital camera while in Toudai, and I need it to take pictures of my classroom to try and figure out the seating arrangements before term begins."

"Okay. Are we on for tonight?"

An option offered up by mistake in Molmol had been offered again—and this time, taken.

"Mutsumi should be back from seeing her family by Five this afternoon. You still have to talk to Shinobu. God---I really don't want to leave your side."

"You? I feel like we just got here after waiting an eternity. Hey? Can I say something to Shinobu? It's kind of over the line, but I hate having her in so much doubt."

He whispered it, even though they were alone, and she now found this caution adorable.

"You better say it to her, pal. If anyone ever needed to hear it said outright, it's her."

They kissed deeply, and then made for the washroom together to save time as well as not part until they had to. Keitaro headed downstairs to talk to a Shinobu who he would, by day's end, understand better than ever. Naru made for Kitsune's room to retrieve a camera that had more than just coastlines and relics recorded on it. It was the break of day, and it would be a breaking day.


	5. Chapter Four Kei's Buffeted Buffet

**Chapter Four – Kei's Buffeted Buffet**

* * *

HINATA-SOU, EARLY 1990'S

"I want her out!"

Grandma Hina Urashima sighed at her granddaughter and adopted child's ultimatum.

"Why has this incident become your tipping point, as concerns young Konno-Chan?"

Haruka was shaking so hard with fury, she couldn't even light a cigarette.

"Incident-wise, this almost doesn't rate. Kitsune---"

"Mitsune, child. Calling her a cute name does nothing to change her and instead invests her trickster nature with power she will use against you. In fact, any struggle with one so far your junior empowers them by raising them up in their own eyes."

"Okay---Mitsune—has done far worse, including landing in local constables' lock-up. But Grandma, it is continual. Worse, she either drags Naru-chan along or drives her to distraction. If we start bringing in girls younger than them, they could even see her as a role model. I'll go work in Auntie and Uncle's bakery before I'll raise a whole house of Kitsunes."

Grandma sat down and shook her head.

"All my grandchildren are so troubled. The dour nihilist, the crybaby dreamer and the little drama queen. Heaven allow me to see the day they become the tender realist, the determined goal-seeker, and the stage-mistress. Haruka, if we were to send Konno-Chan away, where will she be in six months?"

It had crossed her mind.

"Pregnant, reduced to slavery—maybe both."

"Indeed. She was sent here largely to ease her parents' blood pressure. I only agreed to take her because of the debt I owe to the one who sealed off the Forbidden Annex. Outside of here, she will be eaten alive by the sort of predator she merely thinks she is. She is much like you were at that age."

"Even during the worst of it, I listened on occasion. She laughs off lessons, threats, and consequences—how am I to be Ryobo with her in a constant state of giving me the finger?"

"You must turn her force against her. A lack of attention will eventually cause a leveling-out of her worst antics. Also, a trickster serves several purposes. She loosens up those who take themselves too seriously. She also serves as a negative example. Far from emulating her, other girls living here will learn what not to be like. They will snicker admiringly sometimes, but at a remove. In time, she will use up even that grudging admiration. Sadly, it will take a Sapporo to bring her to her senses."

Haruka shook her head.

"Sapporo? I'm missing something there."

Grandma got back up and resumed her duties.

"Sapporo was to have been the site of the third atom bomb explosion, had the Emperor not overcome the fascists and issued the surrender. At least, it is one such target on a long list of potential targets. I have always liked Sapporo, and perhaps this influences my belief that it too could have been taken from us. "

Haruka felt a chill that her grandmother read quite easily.

"I've never heard you discuss all that—how you were there for both of them."

"We who lived owe a debt of remembrance to those who passed. But it is not enough to recall the terrible wrath the Americans unleashed upon our land. We must also ask the harder question—would a proud and ancient nation have finally surrendered, without those two sobering fires? I do not know. But Hirohito knew that it was done, and Tojo did not. The wisdom to walk away from any path, even a successful one, is not cheaply earned."

"So what you're saying is, we have to nuke Kitsune? Because I'll gladly join the US Navy to get access, at this point."

Grandma Hina shrugged.

"One would hope that there will never be another such use. At least this is part of my daily prayers. As for Mitsune, it may be that the blows that awaken her will not need to be bone-breaking or earth-shattering, but rather ones that her wary gaze misses entirely before they land. But whether it is thunder in the sky or a thief in the night, that blow will come, because fate demands it. So she stays---but do not tell her this. Lay out terms of a three-month probation of the strictest sort. That will give us some quiet time, in any event."

"Grandma—uhhh?"

"No, the atom bombs are not the explanation for your durability."

Haruka bowed and left her grandmother's presence. As she walked into the room shared by Mitsune Konno and Naru Narusegawa, Naru took the hint and cleared out, meeting Mitsune's gaze with a mixed look of anger and support. Haruka laid out the terms.

"Welll—I'll consider them."

"You'll do them. No give, no leeway. And this is now just Naru's room. I won't burden her with the pointless task of trying to watch over you anymore."

"You can't hold me back, Haruka. At my core, I'm a rebel."

Haruka flicked her across her upturned nose.

"No. I'm a rebel."

Haruka opened the door to Mitsune's new, much smaller room.

"You're an idiot, and what's more, you are one who I just cannot take seriously."

Haruka walked away, not seeing the very hurt look on Mitsune's face.

"Bitch."

Haruka heard, but did not respond. Eventually, she even saw the fullness of Grandma's wisdom. At times, it was easier to see than others.

* * *

HINATA-SOU, 2001

If events had been ripe for a while, they were now overripe.

"Good Morning, Sempai."

Keitaro saw the tired look on his dear young friend's pretty face.

"Did we—did we keep you up?"

Her small smile was not entirely forced, but nor was it at its most sincere.

"You two were pretty enthusiastic. But no—I've had some trouble sleeping, since we got back from Molmol. I guess—maybe it's the time zone change—or something. Besides, I needed to clean some of my things after I woke up a few hours ago."

Things like her undergarments and sheets, when the 'enthusiasm' of the new lovers had finally driven her to distraction. Keitaro didn't pick up on this, precisely, but he now felt worse than ever at having not picked up on the fact that Shinobu's heart was his to break.

"I guess we did get a bit loud. It was our first time, after all."

"No, Sempai—it was your first time, and it was hers. It was not ours."

"Shinobu---"

"I'm sorry. There's something wrong with me, Sempai. Like poison in my blood—and it's not just because of you two."

He put his hand on her shoulder, which was neither bare nor completely covered. That hand felt like a blast furnace to her, and she wanted it to burn on through. She had even thought of greeting him wearing one of *those* kinds of aprons. But she was cooking with grease that morning, and the lack of cover could have proven very problematic.

"Shinobu—I want you to have dinner with me tonight."

Her heart raced. Maybe the dream was not dead after all.

"What if Sempai Naru finds out?"

Keitaro almost wished he were back in the days of his worst cluelessness.

"She already knows. She'll be having dinner with Mutsumi at the same time. We want to tell you both something."

No, thought Shinobu. The dream was very much dead. Though she would still try and revive it.

"Of course, Sempai. I look forward to it."

*Damn you both. Trying to salve your guilty consciences, Sempais Iscariot?*

**Stop. Think. A couple with the biggest announcement possible is making you one of the first to be told—maybe even before blood relations. Save your rage for them that have it coming. Speaking of whom…**

Kaolla Su entered the kitchen, but her beeline for Shinobu was cut off by the new landlord.

"Su, this is important. You have to immediately re-register with Immigration Services, or face deportation hearings."

Her confusion was evident.

"But Keitaro—I have my passport, plus a diplomatic visa, with sovereign immunity status."

He shook his head.

"While Naru—err-segawa and I were headed back from Todai, someone from the government who knew you were living here told us. Due to the violation of Japanese air space by the Molmolian airships pursuing Seta, your government's refusal to apologize for the incident—and apparently, your brother suplexing the Crown Prince in an unannounced wrestling match—relations between the two countries have been severed. When they'll resume is anyone's guess."

Su could not realize that the confused look on her face while hearing these simple facts was deeply irritating both the man she had pursued so fiercely and the friend she had accidentally stripped via rocket-pack and then locked up to keep her and the others from pursuing that same man.

"But we were pursuing a thief who had taken one of our most sacred artifacts."

"No, Su—Seta never took that, remember? Now, he could have called you and said he wanted to turn it in, but still…"

Su cut Keitaro off.

"He did."

"He did—what?"

"He called our embassy and said that he wanted to turn it in."

She smiled.

"That's how we knew to go after him, so we could get it back."

Shinobu very briefly forgot her anger at both of them, and rushed a chair beneath Keitaro, which caught him just as he fell back at hearing this. A look passed between the friends, strained as things had become and would become.

*Thanks, Kid.*

*You are and shall always be my sempai—you love-blind jerk.*

Keitaro got back up, and picked up the phone.

"Auntie? I need Seta. Yeah, it is. Seta? Ummm—Keitaro. Aggghhh—Keitaro Urashima. You married my aunt, my girlfriend is your protégé, you left your daughter in my care, and spent a year with me in the US. How long?—less than a week ago!"

Su laughed gently.

"He is such an airhead."

Shinobu decided she must have already fallen into Hell.

"Yes—no. His housemates are mostly aliens. No—my grandfather never abused me, that was someone else. No! She doesn't have a tail and build inventions---Seta, if you're playing with me, now is not the ---Auntie? Ohhhhh—cleaning off some of his archeological finds---dust in his lungs—plus he's an idiot anyway---no I won't become like him, I promise. Auntie—did he place a call to the Molmol Embassy in Tokyo before trying to return the artifact? His cell phone log says he did. Okay. Yeah, next time, just ask you, got it. Bye, Auntie."

He hung up. He picked Kaolla Su up by the shoulders, and plopped her on the common area couch.

"Su—why didn't your agents simply meet with Seta, fly back to Molmol, and place the sacred item back where it belongs?"

She placed her finger to her cheek, and half-closed one eye.

"They calculated a 98% chance that they could get the artifact back that way. But, they calculated a 100% certainty if we went out in force."

Keitaro knew this girl was often amused by his outbreaks of rage, so he fought to keep it in. Having retrieved the digital camera from the barely-awake Kitsune's room, Naru joined a situation already in regress.

"Hey, Shinobu—what's going on?"

"Sempai and I were each about to tear our own hair out—scalp first."

The conversation between Keitaro and Su rapidly filled in the whys of that statement. Motoko emerged from her morning rooftop katas as he began again.

"Su—listen to me. You could have prevented that entire sequence of events in Molmol. Nothing that happened last week had to occur."

"But—that would have been pretty dull. The way it happened was a lot more exciting!"

In fact, they all did have fun in that small island nation. But that fun was mixed with and surrounded by not a small amount of terror and worry for their lives and freedom. Keitaro also knew that Seta probably could have found a way other than the one he chose to respond to the Molmolian insanity. That said, he had mostly done the sage sane thing in this case, and it was increasingly looking like their princess had played a larger role in events that had seemed random.

"The way it happened may seem more exciting to a psychopath!"

The eyes in the room turned and looked at Shinobu, who shrugged.

"Sorry---to a socio-path."

Su stepped around Keitaro and made her case plain.

"My cameras caught you, Shinobu! Why did you destroy all my equipment?"

Keitaro and Naru were expecting anything except what Shinobu said.

"Did it make you sad when I did that?"

"Yes!"

The small, well-satisfied smile was all the more unnerving for who it was worn by.

"Then that's why."

"But that's so mean! You've never been mean!"

The smile faded as the hurt girl began to tick off a list of wrongs.

"Let's try never telling any of your closest friends except one where you come from."

"I thought Japanese people were private about those things."

"Let's try strapping a jet pack onto me that burns my skirt and panties off, giving Sempai a grand view---for all the good it did."

Naru would remember that one, and not because she wanted to.

"But you've both seen each other naked a whole bunch of times. You told me one time that his thing was so cute…"

"That's not the point!"

"And I could tell this one time he was almost hypnotized by your butt. It was all glistening from just out of the onsen, and you had a tan that made you look almost like Nyamo…"

"You're still not listening, that was…ummm—hypnotized?---No! You're still not listening. All I said before the jet pack was that I wanted to get over to him. All I wanted that day was to get close enough to him to say---"

Shinobu turned and looked at Keitaro, and found that rage and nerves struck her silent, at least as regarded three little words. Keitaro, for his part, borrowed words from an actor who had portrayed among other things, a space smuggler and a fellow archeologist.

"I Know."

At that moment, in her heart, she forgave the man she loved for not loving her back and a woman like a sister for being the one to win that love. But Shinobu Maehara still had mistakes aplenty ahead of her.

"You don't know what those words mean to me, Sempai—Sempais. And I'm sorry that, after such lovely words, said by one of you and approved by the other—I still have to say these words to someone else I once loved."

Su shrank inside.

"Once loved?"

Shinobu's glare was not something her housemates ever wished to see again.

"You treat love and marriage as a game. You treat jailing people—your friends—as a move in that game. You would have forced Keitaro to marry you. Am I right?"

"Well, not forced. I just would have issued an edict. It is my kingdom, Shinobu."

"And we were your friends! You put us in prison---"

"It was a nice prison, and you did damage it when you escaped."

"You had armed guards holding us---"

"They only really fired on Keitaro, and he doesn't count."

"He counted enough to kidnap both him and Sempai Naru—not to mention telling us sign on to your army or stay in prison."

"That was Kitsune's idea, and now you're complaining that I let you out of prison? I guess everyone had fun except you, Shinobu. That's no reason to do such a rotten thing as destroying all my stuff."

"So it really took my breaking your stupid toys to even get into your head that your friends might not approve of the way you abused your power?"

Su folded her arms and smiled.

"ONE of my former friends, who, by the way, will suffer the ultimate punishment---"

Su summoned a stern look, and then raised her right hand in the air, as though to also summon the elements. Her voice was booming…

"Eternal banishment from Molmol!"

…her blow was like that of a couch pillow—a foam one. Shinobu shook her head at this 'damning' punishment.

"If you think I would ever willingly set foot in that backwater jungle ever again, you must be as clueless as you seem, and that, Princess, frankly astounds me!"

"You—you take that back! Just because you didn't have fun…"

Keitaro finally stepped in.

"Stop it, both of you. Shinobu, regardless of how you feel, destroying someone else's property like that is something I will never again tolerate—even from you."

Before so much as a Yes Sempai could escape her lips, he pointed her back to the kitchen. Then, he turned on Su. To both Motoko and Naru, to see the stumbler and bumbler, however beloved nowadays, taking charge so effectively was both alluring and surreal.

"Su, I don't approve of what Shinobu did. But she was far from the only one upset by how you acted in Molmol. And now that we know you and your people jumped the gun. We love you—"

"Speak for yourself!"

Naru took Shinobu back into the kitchen, and handed her the digital camera.

"I know you're upset, but you're not helping."

"Sempai, I've had nightmares of being locked up."

Naru turned, and raised the back of her sweater. Though lighter now, rope burns and welts were still visible. Shinobu gasped. Naru nodded as she turned back around.

"Tell me about it."

"Sempai, can you forgive me?"

"Shinobu, didn't you let him go so he could save me?"

"Yes---but I didn't want to. I wanted to hold him in there until he—"

"But you didn't. You were the last one to succumb to that madness, and the first one to wake up from it. Plus—"

The bright infectious smile on Naru's face touched the soul of her young rival as surely as it had the man they'd both fallen for despite a dozen mitigating factors.

"To my mind, you're the reason he stuck around, in those early days. Your kindness and warmth may have just negated the contempt and suspicion the rest of us showed. I think I owe you my happiness."

Shinobu felt ashamed, because, while not in a vicious way, she would soon move to at least mitigate Naru's happiness.

"Now—take my camera and review the pictures Kitsune took in Molmol. I only just got it back from her-typical. Automatically delete any out of focus or dark shots, so I can free up memory space. While you do that, I'll ride shotgun on their talk with Su."

Back in the common area, Keitaro kept on.

"Su, Shinobu is far from the only one upset with you about your actions in Molmol."

"Keitaro?"

"Yes?"

Her eyes looked at him in apparent confusion.

"You're talking like I did something wrong. But everything I did is allowed of Molmol's ruling family."

Keitaro sighed openly. A jog to clear the head had just become a marathon. He looked at Motoko.

"If I reach inside your clothes far enough, can you have my head off quickly and cleanly?"

In times past, such a question, however pleadingly asked, would have had both women present making him sorry he was ever born. But now Motoko merely shook her head.

"You're not getting off that easy, Urashima. This has just become a battle for our girl's very soul. Naru, will you support us in this?"

Naru nodded, despite feelings for Su nearly as tender as Motoko's. She began the sad but necessary assault.

"People aren't dolls, Su. They aren't pieces in a chess game or any other game."

Keitaro felt a knot in his stomach. No man with an interest in women could help but not be flattered on some level by a young beautiful princess willing to go to those lengths to have him. But her response not only lacked remorse, it lacked even the notion that she understood the possibility that she had been in the wrong. He thought he couldn't feel any worse. The day was young.

"You failed to think anything through, from the way in which you assaulted our entrance to Todai, to the way you prosecuted your nation's efforts to recover the artifact, to jailing and kidnapping your dearest friends. These things are wrong, whatever your authority, whatever part you played in planning them, and wherever they are done. Without exception."

If her friends winced at having to verbally slap Kaolla Su, for Motoko Aoyama, it was a pain that exceeded slowly tearing out her heart and spine while reciting the entirety of Journey To The West.

"You have asked to be my student. You have asked me for instruction on how to be a just ruler. It has become hideously evident—that I have failed you. Remedial instruction is required, and what is more, your performance in these new lessons will determine nothing less than—"

*I must do this. This is the time Tsuruko was unrelenting with me. The eggshell in her case is ignorance not fear, and it must be shattered for her to grow into the queen I know she can be.*

"—than whether or not you will be able to remain with us at the Hinata-Sou. This will occur late tonight. Be prepared."

As expected, the news struck her like a thunderclap.

"Please don't hate me!"

The cauterizing of the wound they would rather have died than inflict began with Keitaro, using the crush that had driven many of her innocent but offensive actions.

"Not you. Never you. We hate what you did."

"But we had fun and no one was hurt—you all said that! And I gave up when I lost."

Naru, the one who had in theory 'beaten' her in 'the game' stood as a true champion does, without gloating or contempt for a rival, but rather a helping hand.

"What we said was true, but it was also said during a rush of emotions—much like the one you made your choices in. Such words and actions cannot always be trusted. We had fun in your game, Su. But you never asked if we wanted to play. Given a choice, we might very well have, or very well might not have. You made us afraid, a lot more than you made us thrilled, and you shouldn't mistake the fact that no one was hurt to think that no one could have been hurt. You lost when you played a game too large and too wild to guarantee our safety and well-being."

"You'd really send me away?"

Motoko placed her hand on Su's chest, right over her heart.

"You have the power to stop that, but not through edict or armed soldiers. But by rising to the challenge we present you with. Will you fight the enemy? Will you fight yourself?"

Su turned and walked in the direction of her room. Her eyes were closed, but obviously, she was in tears.

"I will. I will rise to your challenge. Please understand—I don't know what you are all talking about, or what has you so angry at me. But I await your judgment and I will accept it---"

She turned back, her eyes opened and reddened but with a regal glint.

"Because I love you all, and it is that love that I acted on. I trust in you to tell me why that's so wrong."

She entered her room, and inside said one word, a name of someone at who she directed her pain and confusion.

"Shinobu!"

Back in the living/common area, Keitaro breathed in.

"Doing that almost made me nostalgic for my first night at the inn, and your angry faces threatening to melt me by look alone."

Naru closed her eyes.

"I pray to God we never have to do that to one of our own kids, someday. But it's good to know we have it in us—I guess. Still, I'd give up half my strength to make that become unnecessary."

Motoko stared in the direction the hurt young girl had gone.

"If I fail, I fail her, we all fail ourselves—and she will not be the only one to leave this place for good."

The nostalgia Keitaro cited for a simpler time of private parts touched and viewed and insults exchanged was felt by all of them. But the time when a stammering explanation and a (sometimes/often) unjustly savage beating could relieve the tension was done with. To save what they had, the battle would have to be fought inside the heart. And the war would get wider.

* * *

In the kitchen, Shinobu was calming down, reviewing the pictures of the beauty and splendor that was Molmol. Kitsune actually had a good eye for scenery, and even caught a few action shots of events that at the time seemed insane and terrifying—and still did—though perspective was beginning to creep in.

*Don't get excited, Su. Retrospect isn't going to give you blanket amnesty, this time around. And Kitsune? How about using that scheming mind of yours more often in creating beauty like these photos, than in making all of us hate y---than in raising our blood pressure?*

She didn't like reminding herself to stay mad, and by turns, she wasn't much liking herself of late. But if she let those two off like always, then it was just asking for the next Molmol. What if they decided to kidnap Sempais' newborn child, making them run an obstacle course and being in some kind of insane game show, in order to make things 'fun'? Someone was going to get hurt. The pain in her heart kept telling her someone had.

Some shots were automatically deleted, as were duplicates. One caught her Sempais just sitting together, with Naru's broad smile (her sexy smile, Shinobu admitted) in view, like she was asking Keitaro a question.

*Damn. You got out of jail again, Kitsune. No one who could catch a moment like that could be all bad. Just please go five months—five weeks?—Go one day without pulling some stunt, and I will climb down from my witchy throne. I can even give you some leeway, Kaolla Su, provided you catch on to the thought that even a well-furnished jail is still a jail, and that putting your friends in it is still a lousy thing to do. That and maybe a tactical description of pulling down Sempai's underwear will go a long way.*

Her thoughts briefly flew back to Molmol. She imagined herself, not Sempai Naru, bursting in on Su's seduction/violation attempt, knocking the clueless Princess back and disarming all her guards. She then walked up to Keitaro, underwear still on its way down. Before she could cut him free and maybe finish the 'job' Su had intended to start, she looked down and saw Naru, said task already in progress.

***Fnks, Shinbu. I rlly apprcit yur hlp.***

She broke from the fantasy, envying Keitaro a guy's ability to have those kinds of fantasies without losing control of them.

*You shouldn't talk with your mouth full, Naru—err, Sempai Naru.*

She calmed herself yet again. She had found a way to accept her Sempais, to probationally forgive Kitsune, and to keep from caber-tossing Su across the ocean to Molmol. They were back at home, and aside from onsen intrusions and beatdowns, nothing was going to put her off her mark any longer.

As is said, cue sound.

"What's in this picture? That man and woman are leaning awfully close together. It's almost like they're joined at the…Sempai?"

She felt her blood shift uncomfortably. Everything she had tried to put out of her mind was now almost literally in her face—and this time, it wasn't hard to see at all. The angle and the lack of awareness of the subjects meant that it had not been deliberately taken, as if they would. The one who had been most recently using the camera said volumes about the photographer's identity.

She knew her Sempais had been victimized, but to see such a carnal image only roiled up hurt feelings over being the one not chosen. Forgiveness fell away for the uncaring prankster and the girl who had made what was meant to be a tender confession into an insane roller-coaster ride.

*It should be me in there—errr---I mean, there in me---aggggghhhhh*

**But they look so beautiful and happy together.**

*It—should—be—ME!!!*

"It's just a picture of two people who really love each other, who you love, and who love you. You have no right to resent them. The one who took this, on the other hand? Them, you have a right to hate."

After a few minutes, Shinobu again half-tenderly, half-enraged, reviewed a very certain picture and said two things as a result.

"Why me? Sempai Naru—you better have a look at this."

Done with Su for now, Naru took the camera, noting that Shinobu almost seemed reluctant to relinquish it. Recognition was immediate, and so was realization. Motoko saw the looks on their faces as she walked over, and out of curiosity took the camera from a furiously shaking Naru. Her reaction was that of a proper samurai, observing traditions both real and idealized.

"What The F***?"

Even given what was on the camera, heads turned to hear this said by Motoko, who looked now doubly embarrassed. Naru shrugged.

"Well, technically, that is an accurate description of the picture."

"What picture?"

Motoko drew her sword on Keitaro.

"Pervert! You---"

She stopped.

"…were in the privacy of your own room, and had no idea this was being taken."

He moved to look at the camera, and once again Motoko drew her sword on him.

"Urashima! Do not look at that picture!"

Shinobu raised a finger in the air.

"Motoko? I think he might have seen everything in it already."

If sober forethought was not (and likely never would be) a hallmark of the Hinata-Sou's residents, it was very much in evidence here. But since it was born of rage and shock, it cannot be called for a healthy development. Motoko handed over the camera.

"You were right, Naru. It does get to be a habit."

Keitaro looked, and then shut off the camera. He looked upstairs at the door to Kitsune's room. He looked at Shinobu, and bowed-nodded as though to apologize. He looked at the woman he loved, and saw assent for a difficult choice in her eyes.

"Motoko—I must honor Auntie's wishes."

"I understand, Urashima."

"To that end, I have to crunch some numbers. I have to make things one hundred twenty percent clear, so that Auntie will fully understand when the inevitable occurs. Please support Naru in whatever course she pursues."

"I would anyway. I have my own issues with her."

Shinobu felt no more kindly disposed towards the unnamed individual, but looked concerned.

"Are we actually going to do it this time?"

Keitaro punched the wall.

"We'll do this fairly, offer her a chance. But I can no longer believe in her enough to think that she'll be smart enough to take it."

Naru shook her head.

"Keitaro, I can't let this one go."

"No one's asking you to, Narusegawa. Just please leave the final choice to me."

"You got it. She's gonna pull out all the stops, though."

As he turned and looked at the three, the coldness of his gaze could have scared off The Terminator, and this was not the natural state of Keitaro Urashima.

"Let Her."

He marched upstairs heedless of the noise. His loud footsteps as he entered his new room could easily have raised the dead—or one who was now very nearly dead to them. As she at last roused, downstairs Shinobu tried to deal with the raw feelings that had been freshly re-stirred by the photo of her raw friends.

"Sempai Naru?"

"Yes, Shinobu?"

"I am sorry I saw the picture. But I must confess that you were beautiful together."

"Seconded, Narusegawa."

Naru heard the room upstairs open, and heard hangover-driven stumbling she knew all too well.

"I thank you both. But I've had one special night delayed by selfishness, and now I've had one violated—for sake of a—I don't know what the hell she was going to do with it. Your words are kind. But the most any of you should have ever gotten about that night should have come from me at my bachelorette party."

They got up when they heard the footsteps on the stairwell.

"Even if she tricks her way out of this, she is going to hear this morning ringing in her ears when she's 80!"

Shinobu grasped her iron skillet.

"If she makes it to that."

Motoko unsheathed her sword.

"I find that possibility extremely doubtful."

Kitsune stumbled down the steps, smiling and laughing a bit. She saw the grim faces of the three below her.

"Okay—what did Keitaro do now?"

The three were completely silent. Despite senses dulled by rare and strong sake, she began to sense peril, and hoped—vainly—that it wasn't her own.

"That bad, huh? Boy, that moronic pervert. Tell ya what—I'll go and talk to him. I can straighten him out."

As she attempted to turn tail, Motoko used the stairwell railing as a brace and jumped around her, to block her retreat. Kitsune looked briefly over the same railing, only to see Shinobu waiting with skillet firmly in hand. Feigning an air of indifference, she shrugged at Naru.

"Ummm---things to do, people to see, Hello!? Just what is all this about?"

Naru held up the viewscreen on the back of her camera, and then showed the damning picture. Making sure Kitsune knew the jig was up, she then deleted it. Both of Kitsune's eyes went wide and were fully visible.

"O---kay. Now, I know this looks bad---for me. But hey! If I never got to make use of it, then it really isn't a prank, is it? Errr—is it?"

Naru picked Kitsune up bodily, and threw her into a chair Shinobu had waiting. Shinobu and Motoko took her sides, while Naru stood in front, and pointed.

"You Have So Got To Die."


	6. Chapter Five Packing A Fox Lunch

**Chapter Five - Packing A Fox Lunch**

* * *

HINATA-SOU, EARLY 1998

One American balladeer said it: Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes.

Hinata Urashima began a vacation that would take up the rest of a long, loving life full of great-grandchildren (official and otherwise) that happily, she would not have to raise herself (though trying to keep her entirely out of the loop on such things was deucedly unwise, not to mention pointless.)

She had said what was thought to be a temporary goodbye to all her daughters. The oldest of them maybe sensed something was afoot, and girded herself to be Ryobo without back-up.

The sweetest of them wept about having to do without her, even for a little bit. Knowing well how to deal with cry-babies, she predicted the girl might soon have a boyfriend.

The wildest of them was hanging upside down, hoping the blood rushing to her brain would enable her to finally enable a trans-temporal portal, minus the use of a gravity well, the kind that created the Great Crater Of Molmol.

The most fearful and yet the bravest of them demonstrated a series of sword katas she disturbingly called 'Instant Capon'. Hinata warned her that an opponent with enough resolve could overcome even a seemingly perfect defense.

The one whose destiny lay in this place was in the process of perfect preparation for the toughest exam in Japan, setting herself up for a situation in which even the tiniest distraction would convert all her efforts into over-preparation. Of course, life itself is a distraction, to say nothing of love. A hug from behind and an embarrassed 'Grandma!' was the sum of their farewell.

As the girl who she always referred to as a 'work-in-progress' approached her, she was finishing up on the phone with one last loose end.

"If you find that you cannot support this dream of his, then you must lay down precise terms and mean them. While not disowning him, you must make him aware that he must help with the bakery or live elsewhere. One of my schemes? Child, you wound an old woman."

"Who you talking to, Grandma?"

"Oh—just to a parent about a potential new resident. We have lost three recently—as you well know."

"So Ashura's not coming back?"

"Nearly having her head vaporized by Su's 'onsen-cleaner' left a bad taste in her mouth."

"What about Kanae?"

"If you recall, she tried to fix Motoko up with her brother. A perceived slight on his part almost caused her to get split in half when Motoko broke into the train her family was on."

"And Yung?"

"Sadly, Shinobu's screaming nightmares about being taken away by a giant bug proved too much for her."

Mitsune Konno shrugged.

"The Hinata-Sou is not a house for wimps."

Hinata grabbed the girl's nose between two fingers.

"We nearly had another departure, you know."

"Owww! Ganma!!"

She released Mitsune's nose, but not her attention.

"You should have relented. Naru liked his attention."

The older woman knew there was no drilling through at this point, but she had to try.

"Kenny Sakata wasn't right for her anymore—not since his Dad's portfolio plummeted."

"If he no longer had money, why did you try and seduce him?"

Mitsune shook her head.

"Seduce indicates he was gonna get somewhere. I tease; I never please—until we're talking verifiable billions. Then I might please. Look, Naru will forgive me. She always does. I spared her a guy who got heated up at the first real boob he rubbed up against. Not that I can blame him. It's my service to my sister—weeding out the weak, the poor, the bums and the idiots."

She had seen the good in this girl, and wanted to simply wish her well. But a misbehaving child without even the pretense of remorse required a firm hand.

"Mitsune-Chan, I am very disappointed in you, and now wonder if you are becoming the sort of person that cannot be taken seriously."

Unlike many others who had made such a statement, Hinata Urashima knew exactly what she was saying. She regretted only the necessity of her words.

"Hey! Sometimes, you've got to be cruel to be kind."

"Yes, but only in the right measure. Mitsune, you are not as clever as you think. I have known a prankster far crueler and more infuriating than you could ever hope to be. Pray you never meet her."

Oddly, those random words cut through to Mitsune's soul. Her memory sparked back to arguments between her parents, concerning her disposition.

"Hey, we'll see you soon, right Grandma?"

Her discipline for the moment spent, Hinata left the Sou that bore her name, for the most part, never to return. But before this, she gently palmed the cheek of the girl who was perhaps the least ready for life of any of them.

"Treasure your home and your friends, Mitsune. For these times pass, and during dark storms, their memory is often all we have to sustain us."

"I will, Urashima-Dono."

Her lively nature was often a salve against the dour depression young people fall into, but any salve can be applied too often, causing a rash. As she went up the hill to her car, Hinata prayed Mitsune would figure out when to pull back before she became like the comical coyote, pawing at empty air before realizing the fall was imminent. She paused to look at a small oak tree.

"Stop playing games, and get your ass into the car!"

The oak tree sighed.

"Yes, Grandmother."

*My daughter was always such a butterfingers. This girl is not right!*

With the youngest of her grand-projects in tow, Hinata turned the key, and as she pulled out, spotted a shadow in the forest.

*Leave her be. You who have done exactly one thing for her, leave her be.*

The shadow, if it was ever there, vanished. But it would return.

* * *

HINATA-SOU, 2001

"A little harsh, don't you think? It was just a stupid picture, Naru! I've seen the both of you naked I don't know how many times."

Rather than merely scream about how this was different, Naru bypassed Kitsune's efforts to turn this into a quip-fest.

"What were you planning to do with the picture, Kitsune?"

"Hey! I was mostly sloshed when I took it. Can't really say I had a definite plan. Anyway, it didn't go forward, right?"

Naru shrugged, hiding the outrage she knew the trickster before her always saw as a sign of 'mission accomplished'.

"Blow it up and put it on the mantelpiece in the common area?"

"That's one thought. But hey, both of you would have bigger..."

"E-Mail it to my students?"

"Teacher's gotta motivate them somehow."

Naru nodded.

"I know! You would have shown it off at my bachelorette party and have it passed around before I caught on. Am I right?"

"C'mon. I just said I didn't have a plan. What part of that don't you get?"

Naru leaned forward, and got up in her face where she was sitting down.

"The part that explains what in the hell motivated you to come into my room and film me and the man I love finally doing something right? If you had no plan, Kitsune, then it was the spur of the moment, an impulse, and I honestly cannot deal with you always acting on amoral auto-pilot anymore."

Kitsune's smile surprised no one at all. They almost welcomed it, as something else to wipe off her face.

"I know what this is really about."

Shinobu's tone was not that of a sweet kid.

"Oh, then please enlighten us, Sensei."

She shook her head, trying to regain her footing, despite having not even a lower torso to stand on.

"Naru always wants everything to go perfectly. Now, she finds out that I peeped on her successful attempt at entry, and it reminds her of the unsuccessful attempt in Molmol. Like that was my fault."

Naru was closing in on target, waiting to strike and strike hard.

"And just whose fault do you think it was?"

"You want me to say it? In front of Shinobu?"

"Yeah. Give the kid a cheap thrill."

Kitsune threw up her arms.

"Fine—you asked for it. Guys in the clinch for the first time find that fantasy doesn't actually require him to do anything. Real women do. Either their pal exits the stage before the play is done or he can't get it to go onstage at all. In other words, Big Keitaro could not get Little Keitaro to perform. You had to wait for your pop and play moment till last night, and you're taking it out on me."

Naru turned her back on Kitsune, in more ways than one.

"Motoko, help lift my shirt in back."

Perhaps some part of Kitsune's brain caught exactly what her friend was showing her. Sadly, it was a part of her brain she hadn't used since Kanako's rampage, and then it was more out of self-preservation than friendship.

"Ooohh—our boy and girl are into bondage! How scandal--"

One second later, Kitsune and the chair she was in both went flying, as words Keitaro had rightly learned to fear echoed throughout the Sou.

"NARUUUUUU-PUNCH!!!!!!!!"

Kitsune was not so stunned as to not immediately check her face on the ground.

*No blood? Our girl is holding back on me…just not by very much.*

"You hit me, Naru!"

Shinobu helped her back up, but this was only to place her firmly into the chair. There was no gentleness in the demeanor of a girl whose being was defined by gentleness.

"Shinobu, stop shoving!"

With an eerily familiar smile, Shinobu put a finger under Kitsune's chin.

"Everyone's confessing. Maybe you better join the club before it's too late."

In fact, Kitsune's pre-Todai teasing of Shinobu had been reasonably gentle, and Shinobu would normally be the first to admit that her nerves over missing the opportunity to confess to Keitaro had ridden her more than such teasing ever could. But like so much else concerning Mitsune Konno, even that had become wholly intolerable in the face of so very much Kitsune-ness. For it had been those nerves, ridden over the rails by teasing and Su's 'seductive costume' (honestly, her burned-off skirt and panties hid more) that had caused her to not question the motives of someone who she really knew she should have. If her motives were mixed, her anger was not. Neither was Naru's.

"Are you asking us not to be such bullies, Kitsune?"

Motoko was showing no signs of being an out from this mess.

"Perhaps our stress levels could be alleviated by way of fine sake---oh wait."

"Is that what this was about? I'll buy you a new bottle. Case closed."

"That bottle may not be replaced so easily and how exactly would one who owes considerable sums of money to every single person in this Sou and most of the taverns in the Greater Tokyo area possibly buy chewing gum, let alone the generational work of a master vintner?"

Naru dragged the confrontation back on point.

"Do you know what happens when you tie someone up and hang them suspended inside a moving plane, and then crack a whip that doesn't care whether or not you're just playing at being villain?"

Kitsune's eyes grew wide in apparent realization. Had she chosen to simply tell her friends that she was sorry for thoughtlessly hurting Naru, it might well have been enough to alleviate her other problems with all of them. It would have been a start to talking the rest of it out.

"Hey, that whole thing was a wild scene. We're all alive, right? And we had fu---"

Motoko sliced off the bangs that normally covered at least one of her eyes. The hair fell into her lap. Motoko then pointed her blade at Kitsune's crotch, indicating the next hair to go would be a tender matter indeed.

"We will now cease using the qualifier 'at least we had fun' for all time, especially as concerns our recent excursion into Molmol. I will not allow that excuse of a girl like my own daughter, and I will not allow it of one who kept on twisting our reasons for being there to the most selfish advantage possible."

Kitsune at last felt she had leverage, and pressed it.

"So say my partners in crime. You were there right along with me, defending that airship against Keitaro, and you went with me to stop them at Todai. Just like on the airship, you're throwing me into the engine blades when the chips are down."

She thought she was seizing an opportunity, when in fact she had blown her very best one, as she looked at Shinobu.

"Did our fry-pan kawaii warrior tell you that we staged that whole thing at Todai for her benefit? Go on, kid—tell the truth."

The truth hurts. So does a cast-iron skillet. Kitsune again fell back. Shinobu had not made a minor concession that could be used to end the conversation. Nor was she likely to.

"How did I know you were going to pull that? Yes, you all pledged to help me get to Todai. And all of you lied to me. Only Motoko has even bothered to apologize. She at least had motives like mine. Su may have even known the Molmol airships were coming, for all I know. Her we'll deal with tonight. But you? You did all that for a piece of property! You lied to one friend and tormented two others for some hare-brained scheme to get your hands on a deed!"

As she got back up, again, there was no blood, but Kitsune felt far from lucky. She fired off a defense, or rather, an attempt at deflection.

"So where's the righteous rage at Seta, the one who really kicked that mess into high gear? Where's Kanako's intervention? Remember her, the step-cest psycho who also kidnapped us and tried to blow us all to kingdom come? She was there! Su and me are catching crap for your rewritten history lesson, but it seems like the name Urashima erases anyone else's accountability."

As a girl, Kitsune had enjoyed a novelty song about the dog from the 'Peanuts' strip fighting the German flying ace Baron Von Richtofen. Like many other things in her life, she had perhaps danced with abandon to the tune without ever hearing the words.

*The Bloody Red Baron Was In A Fix; He tried everything, but he'd run out of tricks*

And so she had. Naru now took point again.

"Seta was ripped a new one or three by Auntie. Kanako was sent by Grandma all along, and is now answering to her for anything above and beyond that plan. Please don't try and tell me getting taken to task by those two is getting off lightly."

Had there been any doubt about that, Kitsune would have seized on it. There was none. So she made a desperate attack upon her angriest accuser.

"I am not taking this from a girl who for three years couldn't decide whether she wanted her arms around him or his throat—and who then thought nothing of using her inside track to take the prize. You used your way, Naru—we used ours. I told you—we couldn't make it easy for you."

Naru's fist jerked downward and smashed one of the arms on the wooden chair.

"WHY couldn't you make it easy for us? Like you just said, we've never made it easy for ourselves. The first time we have a coherent unified thought—to go to the Todai Gate like we promised—there you are with your hand in my face. You of all people had to know what that meant, and what he had come to mean to me. But here's your chance out of the hole, Kitsune."

"You mean the hole that I, and only I, seem to have been thrown into, despite having help?"

Naru's sympathy was not in evidence.

"Yup. That's the one. Now do you want the chance?"

"Sure, why not? I mean, this little kangaroo court has been so unbiased."

Naru again bypassed her diversions at blinding speed.

"Why the sentai suits? That was the dumbest way imaginable to try and actually stop us."

The mild question put Kitsune off her guard, though this may well have been Naru's intent.

"Su suggested a grand entrance, to stop you cold. The suits were my idea, and they weren't dumb. They were cool. No one here objected."

Shinobu twirled her skillet.

"No one here was told what we were doing until we got there."

Motoko merely patted her weapon.

"Typically, you told us to put those things on at just the point that arguing would have kept us from our goal."

Naru shook her head.

"As for cool? Hah! The Americans wouldn't have bought footage of that garbage to use in Power Rangers!"

Before Kitsune could fire back, Naru kept on.

"How were you going to get a hold of the Sou? In theory."

"Uhhh—by marrying Keitaro."

"Well, that would meet the terms Grandma laid down in the fax. Okay—how were you going to go about marrying Keitaro? Your expressed interest in him in the past seemed kept to teasing, flirting to flirt, and sweater boob-rubs to try and pay the rent. At times, your interest in him seemed close to nonexistent."

"As opposed to yours, which, more than any of us, was expressed through bipolar incidents of escalating violence—including hitting him when you walked in on him dressing?"

Again, Kitsune found herself ever further down that hole.

"Right. As opposed to my interest, or the interest of others. Now, how were you going to marry Keitaro, who you had not expressed interest in, and who had no interest in you."

A dark spark came from Kitsune's eyes. A line had been crossed, though this misstep on Naru's part would not help her in the slightest.

"You don't know that. You don't know that at all. He could have been as interested in me as you. Like I said, you had the whole childhood promise thing. In a no-holds barred fair fight, you might not have even been a contender."

Naru shrugged.

"I concede your point. He expressed no real interest in you, and vice versa, whatever his true feelings. Fine. But how were you going to marry him, absent past expressed interest?"

"Well—he's not bad. I only ever thought he was bad for you. I would have let him know that a hot girl who could make him really happy was interested in tying the knot."

"And if he said he was not interested? Remember, your offer would have been really sudden."

Kitsune actually held back a virtual ton of innuendo, sensing now that she was in a trap. In fact, she was already skinned and made into a carpet.

"I can be really persuasive and really persistent. I mean, what does it matter now?"

Naru leaned it close.

"It matters. I still don't see how this goal, which had you chasing a man across an ocean and more, could have come to pass."

"Well, Su did end up co-opting my best stuff…"

Kitsune froze. She had meant to say that Su's plans had made all theirs moot. Instead, she had fallen even further down the hole. Motoko nodded.

"You did talk to her often, prior to our sudden imprisonment. I had wondered how a girl with an eye towards water slides and roller coasters suddenly developed a taste for—as you so daintily put it—little Keitaro."

"Hey—she's a girl, he's a guy. I don't have to put any ideas in her head about what to do with a guy she likes. Eve figured it out without any help."

Shinobu shook her head.

"But that's not all she did, is it? She had him all tied up and in an embarrassing condition just as Sempai Naru found them. And just how she avoided detection entirely kind of made me wonder all along."

Naru picked up on the thought.

"Her plan—the one she got from you—was to have Keitaro in a bad way that was sure to set me off and blaming him—yeah, like I usually do---so that I would run off. Wow. You may not have a man's thing, Kitsune, but you have a thing's accessories. Lots of them."

"I made a bid, and I got out-bid. Why is this big deal? It didn't work, and you won. Gloat, if you have to, but stop lecturing me."

Shinobu shook with fury.

"You lied to me—changed your explanation for what we were doing every five seconds—just when did you supposedly 'know that we can't stop them' aboard the airship? Because it was just after I let Sempai out that I ever heard of that!"

Kitsune was trying not to lash out. But pride of place kept putting her right back on the defensive.

"Grow the hell up, kid. You were lied to. Life isn't fair."

The hurt in the young girl's eyes hit Kitsune harder than any Naru-punch could.

"No, it isn't fair. But your friends are supposed to be. They're at least supposed to try."

Kitsune met Motoko's glare.

"Oh, go ahead. Weigh in, honorable samurai who changes history to make herself look good."

"I'm not perfect, Kitsune. None of us are, and no one is asking you to be. But if for no other reason than your friends are deeply angry with you, apologize for making a larger mess out of one already quite large enough. Apologize, for trying to steal a man who has not chosen me anymore than he has you. Apologize, for stoking a confused wild girl's abuse of sovereign power, instead of using the fact that she was listening to you—not me—to end that insipid game. Apologize, for using another young girl's breaking heart as part of money making scheme. Finally, realize your position. By themselves, nothing we have spoken of is anything more than a concern to be hashed out among friends. As you have said, we all have things to answer for from Molmol. If our young friend here had objections, she should have overcome her fears and trepidation and either merely helped Keitaro or forced Su to see her wrongs. If I had been more sage about Su's apparent lack of comprehension on many a moral front, I could have prevented all of this. If both Naru and Keitaro had been less hesitant in their relationship and perhaps gone to Todai Gate quietly, again, the crisis is avoided."

"But only I'm being subjected to a floating multiple standard of behavior. Whatever you all do is right, and whatever I do is wrong, whatever our reasons. Great justice, sisters."

Motoko sighed.

"You miss or perhaps evade understanding of my point. You have reached the perfect storm of your behavior. Todai and Molmol by themselves aren't enough to force this battle, because again, we all have things to answer for, and I will bare my soul to Naru later, and actually request that she judge me. My sake is not enough to force this, though such a theft enrages me more than a hundred Urashimas in the onsen, all grabbing at me—touching me---"

She zoned out for ten seconds.

"ummm—more than even that ever could. Think, woman! I have learned to accept both myself and my sister's marriage. Both Urashima and Shinobu are not the crybabies they were. Naru has accepted her own beauty and that the love of her man is sincere and strong. I believe Grandma is aiding Kanako's growth, as we must attempt with Su. Even in their limits, they have seen growth. But you are like a shark—not as a predator, but as a thing unchanging, never evolving. We have all grown more like each other, leaving behind our weaknesses, trading on our strengths. But after all this time, while we have become more like each other, you have merely become more like yourself. More than a dozen selfish acts, debts skipped or foolish schemes enacted, it is that which has made today necessary."

Kitsune sat for a moment, and the words really did sink in. Problem was, they also scared the hell out of her. For Mitsune Konno had in fact once tried to live by what she saw as other people's rules. Going back to that, even partially, was like looking down a dragon's mouth in her mind.

"Hey, sharks always eat, don't they?"

The fear in her forced her to push the chance they had offered ever further away. They had wanted some manner of basic apology, some small concession that Todai and Molmol were not her best moments, and would not be repeated. But instead of even the smallest move in that direction, she charged in the opposite one.

"I find it kind of amusing to be lectured by a girl who tells you she loves by punching and breaking things, another who once lived in fear of men as plague-bringers, and a third who is, let's face it, a loli stalker with a skillet who fell head over heels for the first piece of sausage she laid eyes on."

Naru looked her in the eye.

"I am a violent girl, so meh. Motoko had a thing about men, she's admitted as much. But—uhhh—do you maybe want to rephrase that last one, girlie?"

Kitsune looked at Shinobu.

"Sorry."

She shrugged.

"I should have said---a baby psycho-stalker who's a lousy cook and who went into heat for the first piece of VIENNA sausage she ever glimpsed."

No one hit her. Naru merely nodded.

"We're done."

"Good. Now maybe we can—"

"I said—we're done. You wait down here for Keitaro, Konno-San. As per Auntie's wishes, he will offer you her job and lay down the terms of it. But you and I are finished."

"What the hell? Naru, we've been through too much to let it end like this."

Motoko followed Naru as she walked out to her task at Todai Annex.

"Neither she nor I are the ones who chose to end it, Konno-San."

The pair left. Kitsune pointed at Shinobu.

"Don't act all superior!"

Shinobu put her skillet away.

"My sempai should be down in a minute, Konno-San."

"Shinobu---"

"Shinobu?"

"Su, we're talking here. They just---"

Shinobu ignored one former friend to address another.

"Yes, Princess Kaolla-San?"

Su looked just as impassive. Kitsune felt sick to see the ice passing between two girls whose smiles always brought out hers.

"Which room do you stay in again?"

Shinobu smiled.

"Room 205, of course."

From behind her back, Su produced a bazooka, and fired. Room 205 was not destroyed, though.

"It fires a micro-singularity. All your stuff just went away forever. How do you feel now?"

Shinobu was still smiling. Kitsune was not.

"SU! That was my room—my cans, my bottles—my clothes—it took me years to—do you even think about these things?"

"But she tricked me!"

"You dunce—after all this time, you have to ask her what room she's in?"

"Don't you be mean to me too, Kitsune!"

The pillars of her existence vanishing by the nanosecond, Kitsune tried to calm herself.

"Okay—but you'll have to increase my army bonus. So I can replace my things."

Su was not angry with Kitsune. But she had a blow for her nonetheless.

"Oh, you're not getting that."

"Wa-ha—uut? Su, don't punish me because of the way they're acting. I need that money. I have some debts."

Su shook her head.

"They're getting their bonuses. I keep my promises-unlike some people. You're just not getting yours."

"But I stayed loyal to you in Molmol, while the others all switched sides."

"There's no penalty for switching sides in a Molmolian conflict. It happens all the time. But you disobeyed orders. I told you I was quitting, and you kept on fighting, which forced me to blow up the airship. So actually, you owe us the cost of a new airship."

Kitsune expected to see Shinobu laughing at this, but her look suggested that they could still agree that this was insane.

"Su—from now on you will not use or create weapons in and around any part of the Hinata-Sou. Alright?"

She nodded as Keitaro emerged from upstairs, papers and notes in his arms.

"Yes, Keitaro."

"Shinobu, please make Su something to eat. She'll need to nap before tonight's lessons."

"Yes, Sempai."

The two once-sweet girls could barely look at each other, and Kitsune saw Keitaro's face carried an almost alien look to it. His voice—was cold. Kitsune had one last thought before they started.

*Damn it, how strong was that sake?*

Too strong and not nearly strong enough, for this was no nightmare.

---------------

As Naru took pictures of the available space in her annex classroom, Motoko ran through memories of a friendship now seemingly forever lost.

"It could be said that we were not entirely impartial in our judgment of her."

Naru snapped more pictures and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess."

"It has certainly not been all bad. We have had fun together, and I will admit that her devil-may-care attitude grew on me as surely as did Urashima's determination, or Shinobu's innate sweetness—if that should ever return."

"Well, it didn't go away on its own, did it? That kid trusted her to finally do the right thing when it counted and instead, she stole her dream and tried to steal mine."

Motoko shook her head.

"She could not have succeeded."

Naru turned off the camera.

"Don't tell me that. She knows my temper. If I had walked in on her servicing Keitaro, it would have either made me hate him or lose my confidence. That First stuff isn't important to some people, but it is for me. I need to know certain things from him, and Kitsune knows me. She used that knowledge against us, and then Su either deliberately or innocently used it instead. Maybe it wouldn't have broken us up, but it would have meant another pointless delay. Another year maybe? Another year with us going on and off when we had finally figured it out."

"You are that angry with her?"

"You know that I am!"

Motoko took her friend's hand.

"Then remain that angry, until something in her has changed. Because if you forgive her before that, you will have done both yourself and her a disservice. She must grow, Naru. Like for narcotics, she is addicted to the easy out. A life without being dominated by life's little concerns can be a liberating one. A life without consequences is a slow death. One day, you would have to cast her out again, and she would be even less ready for it. Perhaps the good in the people we now task should have us again turning the other cheek. Perhaps if we did a rational analysis of each and every last incident, we would find mistakes in our accounting and best evidence of our own culpability on matters. Yet I believe that on balance, our cheeks are all sore and that tolerance of both sloth and ignorance must end."

Naru folded her arms across her chest.

"The last time I felt this angry at anyone, Keitaro was making his way into my heart. Now I think Kitsune may really leave it."

"Naru, we cannot do for her what we will try to do for Kaolla Su. She is the oldest of us, and cannot say that she does not understand the culture. Cute is only cute for so long. If you try and hold her hand, she will slip and fall and your kindness will be at fault."

Naru sat down and drank some water before continuing.

"Am I that obvious?"

"She has been your sister since before we met. That kind of bond is not lightly undone, nor is it done with ease. Consider two words derived from the Greek that have made their way into our language. History is taken from historia, an inquiry. Apocalypse, that ominous word so overused, simply means a truth that is revealed—a revelation. While our own unique words exist, the power of these Greek-derived words is undeniable. Kitsune must make an inquiry of herself, and deal with the truth this inquiry reveals. She must deal with her apocalypse, and given the limits of her current nature, she must do so alone. If offered a cane or a crutch, she will use them till her legs fall off from disuse. Do you want that for her?"

Naru closed her eyes, and only opened them again after a minute.

"Tell me the rest of your apology and explanation. I need to hear it now."

Motoko began on familiar ground.

"In the beginning, he was everywhere. I half-expected him to slip-slide into me in the onsen, ending my status as an honorable maiden. I swore I would be rid of him, as nearly all of us did. But he wouldn't go away."

Naru actually broke a smile.

"I know."

"My brother-in-law is also a decent persistent man. But he had my sister's attention; something I thought certain was my province alone. The night I fled to the Hinata-Sou was also the same night I walked in on them. I viewed Tsuruko in what I saw a primally compromised position. He stood as a man—she as a beast of burden. I confronted her after, demanding tearfully to know how she could allow him this liberty. She casually responded that this was her husband. She meant that she and he could do what they wish, but that is not what I heard. I feared that all marriage and perhaps all relationships called for our destruction as strong creatures, our power drained to their benefit. That even the most decent of men had as their goal to stand over us in that sort of carnal triumph."

Naru bit down.

"They—uhh—they probably do. More than probably."

Motoko smiled.

"Yes, but that truism leaves out our own desires. Is such a position a surrendering of power? I still think that perhaps it is, even when our consent and enthusiasm are explicit. But perhaps a better word than surrender is investiture. Yet surrender is easier than investiture. In surrender, if surrender you must, you are basically offered no choice, as women of ancient times were told upon marriage. But still that is easier. Because such investiture calls for far more than acceptance."

Naru nodded.

"It calls for trust. Funny. Last night there isn't anything I didn't want him to do, no place I didn't want him to go. Early on, though, I was going to toss him over the horizon, when he was cleaning the onsen at a typically bad time and keep doing it till he took the hint, because I just knew there was no way his accidents were really just that."

"Why didn't you?"

"We—thought we heard Su spying on us, giggling. But she wasn't even on the premises. The moment was broken, and he got out of my sight in the three seconds I gave him. My rage was never that bad ever again. Err—sorry."

"It's all right. As you said, to allow a man – or anyone else - some of your own power to use to your mutual benefit involves trust. I was not prepared to give this, to my brother-in-law or to my sister's judgment. Despite her skills, I saw her as weakened."

Motoko sighed.

"Time passed, and this little fool who would not leave began to gain my functional trust. How could I deny that a tipsy Shinobu had been returned to us unharmed? How could I deny that my Kaolla Su clung to him in her sleep, also without incident? A monster would have demanded far more of Kitsune than sweater rubs for payment. A fiend would have concentrated his 'accidents' on Mutsumi's chest exclusively. You—you were in that mixed public bath, backed up nude against him, a mere washcloth separating you from either an early marriage or funeral."

Naru blushed.

"Motoko—you are not to tell this to anyone. Nothing happened that day—he really did try and be a gentleman—but I sort-of added the washcloth in the retelling. Like mental photo shop."

Motoko joined her in the mild laughter, and even envied her a bit once again.

"How many incidents of that sort did we all end up editing or tolerating, swearing each would be the final one? When I truly lost count, I knew that he could be trusted on a basic level, and by that I mean he would not seek to gain unfair advantage over us. Yet he was still a man, and a man, if shown vulnerability, would be like the scorpion that drowned the frog he was floating on, killing them both. He would have to be true to his nature. He may have passed on harming a drunken girl like Shinobu, but if any of us were in a bad conscious moment, how could he not move in for the kill? Even a decent man hears the taunts of those less decent, counting his worth in that simplistic way."

Naru nodded, and tried not to think of Kitsune, fearing she would start forgiving her too soon, as she always did.

"I gave Kenny Sakata the final heave-ho when he complained that 'the guys' were bugging him about when it would happen. I hate people who give third parties outside of family that kind of say over matters that are supposed to be between two people."

"I never cared for him, even in retrospect. In Ura—in Keitaro's case, the day came that I was a broken thing, wearing that maid uniform, still fearing my sister's wrath for idiocies and little phobias. He tried to help, and as usual, his help ended in disaster. My panties were pulled down, and my struggling legs afforded him the view of me my sister's husband had of her, the night my fears took hold. Rest assured, there was now no secret Motoko Aoyama had from Keitaro Urashima."

Naru hadn't known the view was quite all that. But she remembered that day over a month back, which now seemed a lifetime ago.

"I thought you would take his head for sure."

Motoko opened her hand and stared into the palm.

"The violation of convenience I had so feared never occurred. Instead, my friend restored my panties, helped me back up, and even helped me deal with Tsuruko."

"Whoa! You don't believe he would have ever—and with all of us around, to boot?"

Motoko shook her head.

"Fears are not rational, and at that moment, I felt so weak, I would have not been able to say no. I would not have forgiven him, but I would have waved the rest of you off—those who didn't stand dumbly at the sight."

Naru stood, and gently bonked her on the head.

"BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! He would never have done that. He's---not that sort of pervert. He's touchy-feely, not grabby-pushy. BAKA!"

She nodded.

"I knew that to be ninety-nine percent true. When I learned it to be one hundred percent true—it was then that I also knew that I loved him, more violently than you, more pathetically than Shinobu, more calculatingly than Kitsune, and more giddily than Su. He has chosen you, Naru, and I will act to support that choice in all things against Heaven itself. For I will always love him so."

"That's why you went with them to Todai, isn't it? To make sure that you presented yourself before his choice became final."

Motoko shrugged.

"I also had concerns about Kitsune's scheming, and Su's sudden brilliant ideas always need to be ridden herd on. But in the final analysis, I aided that mess by my need to have a movie moment, and see if I was the true love that the hero would choose at the last minute. I was not, and I knew that likely I would never be. But I had to know, and part of my rage at Kitsune and my disappointment in Su comes from not even having that moment. Can you, upon hearing this, forgive me for ruining yours?"

They hugged, and Naru nodded.

"I already had. Oh, God---when do I hear this from Mitsune?"

"Be strong, Narusegawa. She is already lost, and only she can find her way back. For now, let us try and save Su—and for that matter, Shinobu, whose disappointment over that stolen moment makes mine seem dim and small."

Two women like sisters in love with the same man started to make for home. As they walked, Naru wondered if dinner with the woman who may have been the real promise girl, who was arguably prettier (at least in Naru's own mind) and who had never once struck Keitaro in anger would go as well as this.

*After all, the moment I stole was the rest of her life.*

But events at the Hinata-Sou were growing new layers with every passing moment.

* * *

Kitsune was thankful that Keitaro was neither as cold nor as hostile to her as the others. But nor was he at all warm.

"This is a list of the duties you'll be assuming."

Her eyes nearly shut down at the length and breadth of what she saw.

"Haruka did all this? I thought she mostly sat around, watched us beat you up and smoked cigarettes."

Keitaro nodded.

"That's because she frequently had all that done by Noon—you've tended to get up later than that. This will have to change."

She tried to take this all in.

"There's no differentiation for which day of the week to perform which job."

Keitaro pulled out another list.

"That first list includes only those jobs that must be performed every single day. That one I just handed you includes once or twice weekly and monthly duties. Of course, the unexpected can always throw a wrench in the works."

"What about you? What will you be doing besides Naru?"

He responded to the question, but not the taunt.

"I still bear responsibility for fixing things and hiring repair teams when needed. But those things must first be checked and maintained at basic levels. The spa water level and its temperature have to be checked against changes in the natural hot spring. I will fix any breaks in the hotel floor, for example, but you must first conduct a tour that reveals them. If I am for some reason not available, you might have to perform stopgap repairs, or hire someone in an emergency, then justify the expense to me when I return. It's all there in black and white, Kitsune. Auntie did all this and then some. Nothing has been added."

"So this is how her Christmas cake got baked."

Keitaro's sharp glare cut through her. His remark nearly stopped her heart.

"Having seen the both of you naked, Kitsune, if offered a choice, I'll take inbreeding."

"Hey! I wasn't insulting her. I just meant that all this is a bit much. And as for that second part? Eeeewwww!!"

If she expected him to lapse into stammering once he realized the awkward compliment he had paid Haruka that was to be another disappointment for her.

"Yeah. I'll concede that it'll be rough. Haruka had Grandma to train her, and I'm no Grandma. But sheer repetition will make you faster with each pass. You have organizing skills, Kitsune. I saw that in your bottle and can collection. If you have ideas about how to make this process more efficient, I'm willing to hear them."

Kitsune threw the sheets aside.

"I can do maybe half those things. We'll talk about it."

"We can talk all you want. There's nothing to discuss. That list is, if anything, a conservative estimate of what your job entails."

He wasn't yelling at her, so she merely moved on to the next subject.

"I don't pay rent anymore?"

"That is part of your salary package, yes."

She smiled at what seemed like her first break all morning.

"Then we'll just also wave the three months I owe, as part of a signing bonus."

He shook his head.

"No. Your debt to the Hinata-Sou stands apart from your new job, and must be paid in full. This amount will be deducted from your monthly salary. And it's more like twelve months."

Kitsune got up and pointed at Keitaro.

"No way. You can't just casually increase my debt because your girlfriends are all pissed with me."

The coldness was gone, but it hadn't exactly become tropical in the room, either.

"This has nothing to do with your fight with them. You should have never lied to Shinobu, and I won't forgive you for that until she does. You could have handled going to Todai better, but I don't have room to talk there. Stealing is wrong, and stealing from a hair-trigger samurai is just plain stupid. I'm angry at you myself, but I won't even comment further about taking that picture when you know how Naru is about that kind of thing. But this isn't an instant rise in debt, Kitsune. This is and has been your actual debt for some time."

Her look began to take on one of pure pleading.

"How can that be possible?"

He closed his eyes.

"Kitsune, this is a business. It's a business that has not been operated at its maximum profit potential since it was converted from being a hotel. That means we need every last bit of cash it is supposed to get. You've skirted the edges of the rent time and again. Delays, partial payments never rectified in full—part of the reason Auntie chose you for this was to give you a chance to pay down your debts. Otherwise—we won't have a choice in the matter. Your parents have refused to cover even the three months."

"Keitaro, this is my home!"

He approached her, and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"And I don't want any of you to leave it. I'd miss you. Whatever was said here today, they would all miss you. This is your chance to show them you can change. You can rebuild your credit with your friends as well."

Part of her wanted to reach out and extend back the first tenderness she had been shown on that very angry day. But change for her was scarier than being homeless or even friendless.

"Raise my salary to compensate for the shortfall."

"No. I'm not paying you more than was paid to my own aunt after years on the job. Besides, that would defeat the purpose of repairing the budget."

"Then raise the rent. Your way leaves me with no operating cash. I'll be like a slave."

"No. I'm not punishing those who pay on time. Your meals and then some are covered. Kitsune, your first year on the job is going to consume your life whole anyway. Even if you did only half of those things, you'd never see the inside of a gambling hall, tavern or liquor store. For you to stay, I have to hear yes, and it has to be unconditional and unequivocal to all terms."

She pushed his hand off. A new tack had entered her mind. She would regret this.

"You're just a regular MacArthur, aren't you? You know, it strikes me that your accounting method stinks. It seems to fail to subtract for all the-ahem- special attention I've given you. Or has our boy forgotten all that, now that he done and got him some? Does he want his new employee to remind his new girlfriend of this? She's been known to hit---oh boy, has she been known to hit."

The truth be known, Kitsune had her standards and thought this approach was as low as she ever wanted to sink. But she had already grown tired of people standing over her in judgment, particularly people who had problems of their own. She expected anything from a sigh of basic agreement to the flustered stammer she knew and loved.

"Kitsune, I believed in you and so did Auntie and Grandma. But this is one of my family's businesses, and it bears my grandmother's name. The one who oversees so much of it must be carefully chosen and vetted. This discussion is over. I am very disappointed in you. I can no longer take you seriously on anything."

The young woman who prided herself on not caring what others thought of her realized two things. One, the opinion that Keitaro Urashima held of her in fact meant a great deal to her, far more than she ever before realized.

Two, that opinion was not a good one. In fact, it seemed it could not be any lower.

"Guess you're so cool now, huh, stud? Banging one, you gonna go for seven? You hot for Auntie, you say? Should little cousin Sarah lock the door too?"

His face softened.

"I'm not cool, Kitsune. I'm still the guy who used to fall into the onsen like clockwork, and probably still will. I'm goofy, and when this all blows over, Naru will spend whole days telling you what stupid thing I did last week. But this place where we all came together is now under my charge, and I can't take that lightly. I'll give you until the end of next month to remove your things. I'm sorry."

She tried to hear the better part of herself.

*Take it, Baka! Take the offer. You bet against this day ever coming, and you lost. Don't lose your home and friends trying to scam where you have no leverage. You have great boobs, but don't be one!*

But now fear piled on top of pride and rage, and Mitsune Konno began swinging wildly at Keitaro Urashima. But this wasn't the onsen of three years ago, and even a nervous man who had trained with Seta Soriyama and Motoko Aoyama could easily evade or block the punches she threw.

"YOU!! IT WAS ALL GOOD UNTIL YOU SHOWED YOUR SKINNY, GEEKY FACE!!"

If he seemed calm, he was anything but. He knew he had to wait her out, until her rage was spent.

*But I've had all-out onsen beatings that were shorter and calmer than this.*

For this was not just glimpses of forbidden flesh or face-first falls into private regions driving Kitsune's blind rage. In Keitaro Urashima she saw the violation of a way of life that had for her, worked just fine. Problem was, she was and had always been the only one who thought that way. Whether merely willfully ignorant or enabled by friends that were too kind to speak up, Kitsune had fallen into a pit of her own making, and now she was set to suffocate or drown.

"Stop it Kitsune! You're not as strong as Naru, or as fast as Motoko. I can keep this up all day."

She knew that he could, and even if she landed a blow, he could take it and survive it. This only pushed her red rage on. It was now well into the afternoon, and she at last began to tire

Naru and Motoko had encountered Mutsumi on the way back from Todai, and had yet to really tell her all that had gone on. Su and Shinobu emerged from a tense silent meal in the kitchen. All saw the fight in progress. If Keitaro's life was plagued by misunderstandings from things he should have explained more calmly and clearly, or that his friends should have listened to, this was not the case at that point. All clearly saw who was attacking, and who was just keeping that attacker back without striking back. Keitaro would later wish that they had all assumed the worst of him and just piled on to send him flying. It would have hurt less than what did happen.

Before women and girls fast, strong and smart could react, Kitsune knocked Keitaro's glasses off. He still managed to block her, since Seta had insisted he train without them. As she used up the last of her adrenalin-fueled strength striking harder and wider, Kitsune at last exhausted herself. She raised her fist to strike again, but lowered her arm when it felt like lead.

"All right, you wi…"

To fend off her wilder attacks, Keitaro had switched from blocking her blows with two extended fingers on either hand to full fist. Without his glasses or time to recover them, his vision was limited. Time seemed to slow to an agonizing crawl as Keitaro's fist moved to block a punch that never came.

His punch landed on Kitsune's left cheek just fine, though.

A strong woman, Kitsune did not go flying, and to be fair, Keitaro, whose strength was not awesome but also not negligible, was not in full force behind the attempted block. But she did fall over, striking the floor and again hitting the same sore cheek as she did. Keitaro grabbed back his glasses and saw what he had done, whether accidentally or in self-defense not mattering one bit.

"God, No!"

He crumpled to the ground, looking very much like a man who realized he had violated one of the rules of the universe itself. Seeing this, one who loved him well but not very wisely of late moved in on the fallen stunned Kitsune.

*You bitch. All the games you've played. All the times you pounded on him as much for fun as for modesty, and he cries over one punch when you go crazy? He's too decent to not feel horrible over this. Time to skin a fox alive.*

"Kitsune?"

"He—he hit me, Shinobu."

That her voice contained not a hint of playing victim gave Shinobu brief pause. Very brief.

"Does it hurt?"

"What? Of course it hurts!"

The fox was skinned.

"Well, then. Guess you really are Human, after all."

Kitsune realized she was being mocked, and looked at Shinobu with genuine tears in her eyes. But the girl merely shrugged.

"Good enough for his broken leg, wasn't it?"

Kitsune stood up, a bit of blood trickling down her left cheek. At first, it seemed like she might start in again. But she merely cupped Shinobu's cheek in her palm, gently.

"Shinobu, don't be this way. Please."

"You mean like you?"

"Yeah."

She was out the lobby door at a good pace, still crying. Shinobu saw Su point at her, also teary-eyed.

"You used to be nice. When did you become so mean?"

"Well, Princess, maybe I learned it…"

"SHINOBU!!"

Naru called to her. She and Mutsumi were by the side of the crumpled Keitaro.

"Help us get him into the onsen. He needs to calm down and relax, and we need a third hand to keep him steady while we undress him."

Shinobu saw Su run into Motoko's arms, the sights and the sounds of this unforgiving moment too much for her. Shinobu Maehara realized that she had chosen to crush one wounded fallen friend while ignoring the pain of the man she professed to love. She vowed to never again choose hate over love, even in the name of love.

"Yes, Sempai."

What she saw in the onsen was nothing she had not seen before, and she was numb to any excitement it might have otherwise brought. Naru undressed and remained with him for the rest of that afternoon. Mutsumi sat with a Shinobu now ashamed of herself. The younger girl had to be held back from running after Kitsune in her agitated state. Mutsumi for her part fought the urge to ask what the hell had become of her second home, where perhaps chaos reigned but so had common affection.

Better days would come, but this one was not yet done with them.

* * *

She looked down on what had once been her home.

"Stupid bastard hit me."

*Stupid bitch deserved it.*

"Standing over me, all superior."

*Maybe it was because—they were superior to you in like, every way there was? Just what the hell *were* you going to do with that picture?*

"Shinobu—little girl kicks me when I'm bleeding."

*Think. When was the last time Keitaro hit anyone, let alone any of you? When was the last time Shinobu stayed this angry at anyone—or even really got this angry period? Doesn't Naru usually just raise her voice and say your name when a prank or such goes down? As to Motoko, you didn't know it would go that way?*

Mitsune Konno reached a devastating but ultimately cleansing conclusion. Its benefits, while real, could not help her in that hellish moment, as the tears started again.

"I finally did it, didn't I?"


	7. Chapter Six Dinner, Place, Shinobu

**Chapter Six - Dinner, Place, Shinobu**

* * *

HINATA-SOU, EARLY SUMMER, 1998

Things had now gone too far.

In the short time since he had returned to his grandmother's hotel, now a girls' dormitory, Keitaro Urashima had seen many an awkward moment with said girls, all of which had rapidly become a very painful moment. While his threshold for pain was as high as his ability to not fall apart in the face of anger was low, he had almost begun to see the savagery of the girls as transactional. He entered, they reacted. The math was easy, even if walking the gauntlet was hard. Though Shinobu had never hit him, any awkwardness involving her conversely meant a geometrically harder and more frenzied beating. Again, math.

Admittedly, any man who entered a ladies' bathing area of any kind took a physical risk. He amusedly recalled one time he had been given charge over a group of very young grade school girls for the day, while his family was at the shore. Waiting outside their beach shower area, one of them walked out wearing only a frown, scolding that he wasn't watching over them like he was supposed to—an anger their mothers repeated later that day. If Keitaro needed confirmation that he just could not win in some things that was it.

It had begun the way many such things began during the weeks to months he had been there. A mistaken assumption was that all the girls had left the Sou for the entire day. A sign he had made plainly indicating that he was going to be cleaning the smooth rocks at the entrance to the onsen spa had blown away. He, assuming he was for once completely safe from even a potential scolding, was perhaps overly relaxed as he slid the doors away and proceeded to mop and scrub. Also not as alert as normal was a bathing Naru Narusegawa.

There was originally no reason for this to have exploded quite the way it did. Naru kept a trusty bucket on hand to use as a projectile against the possible intrusions of the 'pervert', and a mere sighting would have been satisfactorily met, punishment-wise, with said bucket striking some part of Keitaro. Keitaro, for his part, had actually practiced a pivot stance meant to keep his stammering flustered self from hanging around too long in the danger zone. For the record, it never really worked.

Keitaro's glasses fogged up quickly as he worked the edge opposite to where Naru was bathing. Naru was exhausted from her studies, her eyes closed. Comically, this whole encounter could have passed without either of them realizing the other was even there. But it would not do so, and nor would it be at all comical.

The same wind that blew Keitaro's warning sign away now brought it back, and into his hands.

"Whoa—guess I better repost this."

"Repost what?"

"The sign that says I'm cleaning---Narusegawa?"

"Keitaro, you perverted---"

As planned, she had hurled the bucket at a good speed. Keitaro had known something was going to happen, and ducked, planning to use his pivot move to get out of there in a huge hurry. But there was a washcloth beneath his feet. Not just any washcloth, mind you, but the very washcloth Naru had reached for when the pair had met, and when she grabbed—well it damn well wasn't a washcloth, soap or scrub-brush. Realizing this as she entered the water a few minutes prior, she disgustedly threw it away, then kind of smiled to think how the presence of the unacceptable had become the barely-tolerated. Bare she was, but her tolerance was about to be erased.

So smooth and slimy were the stones, and so fast was Keitaro's pivot on the discarded washcloth that he literally spun on it like a ballerina, till at last he lost control and fell face first into the onsen, still in full motion.

"No! NO! Don't you dare…"

Instead of hard rock, Keitaro felt his face hit something softer and—and in need of a shave? Clueless or no, he realized that his time on this Earth was finally at an end.

*Please let this water be deep enough to drown in.*

Legs that had been on either side of his head—and one day would be again—rose like lightning up from the onsen water, and kicked at that selfsame head so quickly, one foot kicked it back while the other met it as it fell. One fist struck him under his chin, and the other slammed down on the top of his head on the rising arc. A full body shove had her elbows also pumping into his solar plexus, till she moved around him and gave the same treatment in reverse motion to his back and spine. As she lifted him up over her head, she heard a tearing sound, and decided she could not care less if it had been the severing of his arm—so long as it wasn't his head. She wanted him to suffer before sending him straight to Hell.

"Narusegawa, you have to…"

"SHUT UP!"

She slammed him over her knee, first on his back, then on his stomach.

"You had your face—your filthy, perverted face—your snot-filled nose---pressed against my precious womanhood! I've been violated!"

"Narusegawa, you have to…"

"I SAID SHUUUUUUTT UPPPPP!!!"

Feet-first, she continually hurled him across the onsen, stomping on his head with each landing. After doing this five times, she picked him up, held him at arm's length with one hand, and backhanded him repeatedly with the other. Still, his mantra would not cease.

"Narusegawa, you have to…"

Before she could silence him yet again, what sounded like a voice was heard.

***Boy, you two really went at it.***

Naru looked about her, and then spoke a name.

"Kaolla Su?"

"Is that crazy Indian girl around?"

"She's not Indian, she's umm—I don't know where she's from, now that I think about it."

"Narusegawa, you have to…"

"What, pervert? What do I have to do? Stop? Who violated who into unmarriageability?"

With halting hands, he pointed at her.

"Narusegawa, you have to put your towel back on."

For just a moment, as she looked at her body and confirmed what he said, she thought and realized that she had let her anger override the basic concern she had become angry about.

"MONSTER!!! YOU GOT OFF ON THAT, RIGHT?"

This rational thought process didn't last long, and the pummeling started yet again. This time, she wanted that head to pop off, and so rabbit-punched him there atop him until her backside brushed against something.

"Oh, like you haven't tried enough of your crap. How did you even get your suit off?"

In the water, she spotted two halves of a man's bathing trunks. The tearing sound from before.

"You mean to say, I and a boy have been wrestling…NAKED?!!!!"

She honestly did not know how long the 'wrestling' had gone on, and did not care. With her own head ready to pop off, she grabbed up one of the onsen's larger stones, and held it above the unconscious Keitaro.

"I don't care if it breaks Grandma's heart. You have so got to die!"

She looked down, expecting him to awake stammering and shaking, soiling the onsen as he had-well---as he had *nearly* soiled her. But his eyes were swollen shut, his face looked almost featureless, and his head was the size of Kitsune's entire chest.

"I finally did it, didn't I?"

She didn't bother with modesty any longer, though she prayed the others would stay out for a little while longer. This once, fate stopped playing with the pair as they went up the steps. No one arrived to taunt, lecture, laugh or freak out.

*C'mon, perv! I'm starkers, and so are you right next to me. Put your stupid face back together and see me, so I can threaten you and everything will be like normal---please?*

She placed him in her room, dressed herself and fetched him a pair of undershorts from his room.

What usually happened almost instantaneously (or seemed to) took nearly an hour. He rose, dressed again and went to complete his task. He said not a word to Naru. The others finally returned, with Kitsune humorously commenting on the sign warning of the cleaning. Naru couldn't hear exactly what it was. She briefly confirmed that Su had definitely been nowhere near the onsen in all that time. She wanted to chalk it up to how worked up she had been—except Keitaro had heard it too.

"Sempai, what happened to your eye?"

His answer did not implicate her. Nor did it offer her one bit of comfort.

"I slipped and fell while cleaning the onsen, Shinobu."

When both Motoko and Kitsune made disparaging remarks about this, it was Naru who told them to back off—that he was doing what he was supposed to, and should only be given the grief he deserved.

"C'mere, Naru."

Haruka—who the girls had also now taken to occasionally calling 'Auntie' pulled her aside. Her glare could have taken down an ICBM.

"He's a fool, isn't he?"

"Yeah, Auntie—he can be that."

"He's also my kin, and the first baby I ever held or cared for. Got me?"

"yes---Yes."

Haruka lit a cigarette, and poured herself some coffee Shinobu had brewed.

"I'd offer you some, but you're doing decaf for a while, right?"

Haruka Urashima rarely demonstrated her emotional range. Seta-Sama had been one to bring it out. It was now apparent that her nephew, however radically different he was from Seta, was another one capable of causing this.

"Haruka Ryobo-San, I'm---"

"Was it that bad?"

She shrank inside. Telling Haruka the details might bring her over to Naru's side, but it was a tale she really didn't feel like telling—maybe ever.

"Seemed so at the time—not so much now."

How Haruka knew was not relevant, though Naru wondered if somehow the timeframe on the healing of Keitaro's black eye had given it away. She briefly recalled that Haruka herself had walked away from some seemingly nasty tumbles. Before she could really think about this, Kitsune called her away from where Haruka was sitting.

"Hey! What's with taking the moron's side against us? Since when have you given two hoots about Keitaro Urashima?"

If she had been reluctant to tell Haruka of what happened, there was no way in Hell she was telling Kitsune. Though she loved the trickster dearly, she was not going to be called things like 'Bride By A Nose' for the rest of her days.

"It's only one hoot. I'm new at this."

As she waited at the onsen door for Keitaro, Motoko observed him cleaning.

"He is being very thorough in his scrubbing of the growth on the rocks. Was it that bad of a fall?"

"Yeah—it was pretty bad. Also, I think maybe he's trying to make it up to us for all the intrusions."

Motoko nodded.

"He is stronger than I supposed. And he takes what he has coming rather well."

*Better than you know, Motoko.*

When he emerged back inside, she stood waiting for him, and noticed his eye was nearly fully healed.

"Narusegawa-San, I offer my deepest apologies."

She wanted to reciprocate, but the way in which this incident had begun was still too bound up in shame and shock, even if she had not been truly 'violated'.

"Granted—so long as we never mention this happened ever again. To anyone."

"Narusegawa---"

"You could try just Naru."

"That would be—too intimate."

"As opposed to what exactly?"

He blushed, and despite her anger, it was a sweet blush. That night, a dream of hers would have the same incident replay in a very different manner—which promptly made her angry at him again. For then and there, though, a truce was called.

"Call me what you want."

"Narusegawa—are all the things that happen to me really accidents? Even I'm starting to wonder."

The insight and simplicity of the question floored her.

"Well, some subconscious corner of that perverted brain of yours could reason out how to be in just the right spot for your sick fun---but I doubt it."

"I don't think I'm that smart, either."

"Baka---no. You are smart, Keitaro. Your study habits are abominable. But you have the brains. Even to attempt Todai's exam takes brains."

She smiled, and his dour face seemed to light up.

"In my room, I have books on both probability studies and Human Psychology. They might tell us something about why you do---what you always do."

They started up the stairs, but at one point, he nearly fell back. She was ready, with both a hand and a smile.

"It's all right, Baka. I've got you."

* * *

HINATA-SOU, 2001

Things had now gone too far.

"It's all right, Baby. I've got you."

He was light in her arms, and despite the onsen, he felt cold.

"K—Kitsune?"

"No. It's Naru. Naru's got you."

"Is she all right? Did I hurt her?"

"She'll be all right, Keitaro. She's tough."

"Not supposed to hit someone you love."

He was half out of his mind with grief. But his words hit hard at a woman who once prided herself on hitting even harder. The intrusions and embarrassments explained some of it. Maybe her emerging feelings for him explained a bit more. But the really wild times? Except for Mutsumi and for the most part, Shinobu, they had all hit him, though Su and Sarah seemed to be chiming in rather than being truly upset. There could be no doubt that Naru Narusegawa had been the star hitter in a league she no longer wanted to be a part of.

*I will use my strength to protect you. From my sisters, and from myself. Sarah I'll just swat across her little ass next time I see an artifact in her hand. Umm—but with Auntie, you're on your own. And Grandma? Just forget it, pal---I—okay—even then. Always.*

He kissed her, briefly, but then withdrew back into himself. As she held him next to places once unthinkable, she wanted to tell him that Kitsune had amped up her bitchiness and irresponsibility to cosmic levels, and that not only had he been acting in self-defense, but that it had been a glancing blow he had never intended to strike.

*Our love is that soul-mate thing, isn't it Keitaro? But I'd have to be a fool to think that, while I have hold of the most special kind of love from you, that you love the others any less in their own way. I don't mind, because I love them too. But why do you feel so fundamentally rotten about accidentally hitting my most difficult sister, while I gladly slammed her a few hours before, and then only felt angrier?*

She knew Kitsune had been in rare form, and had refused to even think of apologizing for Molmol, Todai, the picture, et al. And Motoko's latter-day explanation hadn't entirely satisfied her, either, but it was an effort and acknowledgement at least, and she had admitted that, like Shinobu and Naru herself, love realized had proven a huge distraction.

*Am I some kind of barbaric girlfriend? What if the genders were switched? Easy answer. I'dve been in jail years ago. You—I will make it up to, man of mine. But damn it, Kitsune! You lit your own fire for kicks, and it burned our house down. I should have slugged you years ago.*

Then she recalled that she had indeed slugged her. But just like appealing to her better nature and just about every approach she could name, Kitsune slid around the changes. She had been Kitsune when they first met as young girls, and she had become ever more Kitsune as time went on.

*Maybe confronting her like that wasn't my brightest idea to date. The violence likely didn't help either, looking back. But how else do you get through to someone that determined to keep on being a supreme pain in the ass?*

"I should have found another way, Naru. Maybe given her another month. I was angry about that picture, too—so I cornered her, left her no leeway."

"Keitaro—she had no leeway left because she used it all up. You gave her better terms than I would have."

They were technically arguing, but she praised the Heavens that she had him back.

"But what does all that matter if we've lost her? She can't survive on her own. She's not as tough as you or she thinks she is. You or I could work anywhere. Shinobu is a dream for anyone in need of cooking or cleaning. Same for Motoko and bodyguard work. Mutsumi has her family. But how can Kitsune survive on her skills? I'm a softie. She won't find the world full of too many people like me."

She made a fist, but only rubbed his head with it.

"You got that right. Look, even this morning, I knew I could offer up huge qualifiers on every last thing she ever did that's pissed us all off. I knew that I don't stand so high. None of us do. But whereas most everyone we know gets cornered like that and figures out they better change how they do things, she never has. It's all snarky comments and speeches about how she lives differently, and how we're all hypocritical sticks-in-the-mud. It's all deflection with her. I'll accept a maybe-too-convenient apology from Motoko and Shinobu as long as it's sincere. I can't accept one that's never given, based solely on coming out of that mess in Molmol alive. I don't want to hurt Kitsune or Su. But I feel wounded by them, and I will have an apology."

He breathed in, a little more himself with each pass.

"Shinobu I always knew the feelings but never the depth. Motoko I probably should have figured out. I thought Su regarded me as a fun footpad, but she never showed malice about it, so maybe that's another one on me."

"What are you getting at?"

"Naru, Kitsune always seemed to despise me early on. When we would start to click, she'd be there reminding you what a catch I wasn't. But whatever she did, good or bad, it never seemed clumsy."

Naru nodded.

"I'd never call her scams, schemes or pranks clumsy. Hilarious sometimes, clever and crazy, greedy, mostly infuriating, but clumsy? Not that girl."

"Usually has her stories straight when she's pulling something?"

"More like she always has all her stories straight."

Keitaro nodded.

"But everything she did from Todai to Molmol was clumsy and blatant. Even sloppy. Shinobu and Motoko said she kept changing plans and explanations. Not like her."

Naru recalled how genuinely offended Kitsune had been by the idea that Keitaro had no interest in her. The accusations she made that Naru had used an 'inside track' to be with Keitaro.

"It can't be as simple as all that. I mean, she said those things when we caught up with her on the airship, but like they said, changing explanations. Even Su said she was so far into playing villain she ignored orders."

Keitaro shook his head.

"A gentle girl kicks balls and hits with a fry pan. A born warrior considers becoming a maid. A mistress of stealth becomes obviously infatuated with someone who is semi-forbidden. A very smart girl fails an exam she should have aced."

"That wasn't your fault."

"A beautiful princess who can build and have anything she wants plots to drag a whole hotel back to her kingdom. Finally, a smooth operator who for years has ridden the edge without missing a beat risks all she has on a real estate scam and loses absolutely everything. If we hadn't been so angry at how she behaved, I would never have found all those past missed rent payments. The only thing all those circumstances have in common, Naru – is me."

Naru now also felt a little foolish. The complaints to get rid of him, or that Naru could do better, or the endless bouts of near-foreplay—all pointed to a conclusion that was as obvious as Kitsune's chest—maybe even as obvious as Mutsumi's.

*Kitsune, why didn't you just come out and say it? We're all fools for this fool. Was being cooler-than-thou so damned important?*

"She still has to change, Keitaro. Her saying 'I Love Him Too' would have passed for an apology in my book."

Keitaro stood up, stepped out of the onsen, and began to get dressed.

"We still have dinner with Shinobu and Mutsumi. Kitsune, whatever her motives were, did lie to that kid and it joined with my breaking her heart to form something ugly. We owe her too much to let that light go dim. What will you talk about with Mutsumi?"

Naru had thought long and hard about this.

"I want to ask her why and how she's handling things so well. Then I want to bottle it."

* * *

Things had now gone too far.

"You even look pissed here, Naru."

A picture kept hidden away, to be brought out in bad moments, was brought out in the worst moment of her entire life. She had a badly flustered Keitaro (there used to be no other kind) pressed up against her chest, Naru fuming—at him—Su on his back, laughing, Shinobu blushing to almost pure red. A wooden sword seemed set to strike Keitaro on the head.

*I give you my bosoms, they hit you—but you hit me. The cutest sweetest kid in the world worships you to the point of hitting the futon if you just hinted at it—but you choose the one who most regularly pounded you into dog meat. Also in the running, a girl with her own freaking country, a mystic samurai who probably knows all those secret samurai pleasure techniques, a girl with gigantic melons—not to mention the fruits her family grows---and—and—*

She looked at the picture again, and crumpled it a bit at the edges.

*---and a not-so-sweet kid who also would have hit the futon with you at just a hint. You could have had Marilyn Monroe, and you chose Lizzie Borden. Geez---do I even know any Japanese examples?*

Naru would, she reasoned. Naru was smarter, had a prettier face and guys seemed to move around her former roommate to be with her. Worst of all, she just didn't get how beautiful she was, which had whatever boy went after her literally fighting to give her compliments.

*Me? I'm just a set of boobs—a magnificent set of boobs—not too big. I mean, can a guy even muster a word around Mutsumi?*

Exactly how many women had fallen for this ridiculous little man? How many women with prospects had turned those away to pursue a stammering, peeping, bespectacled moron?

*Well, I know one at least.*

**I can't take you seriously, Kitsune.**

A parade of people had said that in her life, starting with her own mother and finishing off—maybe literally so—with Keitaro. Call her any number of names or labels, and she could laugh it off, or even dismiss it as it was said. After all, most people just used those words and labels as a means of getting you to do what they wanted, after which they would get indignant and cite 'tradition' when it was time for them to pony up.

But to be dismissed entirely for yourself? She had to admit, that hurt. And when Keitaro said it? The pain she felt was so great, she felt like her skull was going to split open. Yet hadn't he already dismissed her? He and Naru were kiss/slap, till they started slapping uglies together. He and Motoko were literal love/hate. He and Shinobu were this kind of pure love that was like alchemy, transforming the unrequited crybabies into gold. Mutsumi was the girl too perfect for him to actually get him, if that made any sense. She could even almost get Kanako. When a girl's stunts leave her as vulnerable as they often did, she found out quickly who the really nice guys were. Dragged up drunk to her room, like Motoko, she sort-of waited, sort-of hoped for the poke in the night that never came—so to speak. Not being used made her feel safe, but it also forced up the unwanted corollary—did he even think about it? She wasn't some pathetic 'oh my no! But it feels so good' honey from one of Keitaro's ecchi vids---and he did have some good ones, she had to admit—but she found it hard to separate 'he wouldn't try and pull that' from 'he'd never even consider it with you'.

*Daydreaming about true violation, girlie? Lame. Just how far did this loser drill into my skull?*

The day had gotten even worse when she wandered the circuit of her usual haunts, only to be turned away at each one for tabs unsettled. She was so far into debt, she couldn't even get in any more. Broke, homeless, friendless, without any possessions, and as she would learn, the day had one more surprise she would not care for at all. Finally, she started speaking out loud.

"You all want to hear this? Alright, here's my apologies, but on my terms, without constant interruptions."

There was no one at all around her, and she found she hated this. She wanted to be in the onsen, with her sisters around her and her brother falling on top of her. Then she wanted her brother horizontal. But she had none of this, so she spoke rather than merely sob.

"Su, I could see that you didn't get why what you were doing was wrong. Now you're in trouble in part because I didn't speak up. Exactly why you don't get that a nice prison is still a prison is something I'll leave to them—like I have a choice. But I feel like I could have spared you at least some of it."

"Shinobu—someone was gonna lie to you like that at some point. Maybe it shouldn't have been a friend—alright; it should never have been a friend. Don't use me as an excuse for jumping in the shallow end of the moral pool. You're not a bad girl, and I mean that as a compliment."

"Motoko—I'm sorry about your sake. Even if you kick me out forever, I will tell you why I did it. See, I knew those two were gonna come back from Todai and then start in. Bad enough to be the low one on the pyramid, but to have to hear them going at it? Especially 5:13 AM. That yelp she made a woman only makes if she's been taken where the sun don't shine or she found that one special purse. I couldn't deal with that sober, and only really good sake gets me blasted anymore."

"Haruka—one, watch your nephew, I think he has an Auntie complex. Two, I'm sorry I could be such a pain in the ass, but you could really stand to take a few lessons in basic nice from your nephew. House-Mother, okay? I was already barely-tolerated by one Mom—I didn't need another doing it. I don't know whether to thank you for the chance I blew—because I think maybe you knew I would blow it. But if you were sincere—thank you."

She was fighting against sounding and feeling absolutely pathetic. But even a free spirit can feel chained and weary, and on this day, she had good cause. She tried to avoid the one she wanted to really confront, in reality or in her imagination.

"Sarah, Mutsumi, Kanako---I either don't owe you an apology, or would like to see you under clinical observation—and yes, that is coming from a long-time resident of the Hinata-Sou."

At last, she got to the heart of the matter.

"You always have these plans, Naru, and God help anyone who gets in the way. 'I'm going to attend Todai. I'm going to achieve all my dreams. I'm going to the Todai entrance with the one really decent guy any of us will ever probably meet. I'm going to confront my oldest dearest friend, then harass and beat her into being exactly like exemplary me.' I don't even blame Motoko for standing with you anymore, because who can stand being on your wrong side?"

She closed her eyes.

"But you didn't play fair. How many times had you said that fool is a bum, and that bum is a fool, and that fool bum is a perverted monster? How was I to know you weren't serious? You said he was an obstacle to your goal. I thought that was it for him. You get in Naru Narusegawa's way, you get pushed aside. No room for goofballs, no room for slacker sisters with no prospects. You never said that—you can be nice when you want to. But I didn't hear room in any of those dreams for me. I'm sorry I tried for your guy, sister. But we had a good balance, and you upset it by choosing a guy who was more than we could have expected."

She looked at the hapless fool with the nose-bleed, buried in her favorite winter sweater.

"You. You didn't have to be so nice. I would have liked you anyway. You've known what it is to be on the outs with those stupid unwritten rules everyone lives to invoke, and once you're unacceptable, that's it. So why does Naru get the puppy-dog eyes? Why do Su and Shinobu get the 'so cute' shivers? Why does everybody else get your freely given attention, and I have to practically grind my two best pals on your three best pals just to make you uncomfortable? Yeah, I hit you, and told you to clear out. Who didn't at that place? Why couldn't you look me over, until it came time to read off my debts? But I am sorry—for whatever I finally did to make you permanently overlook me. Don't worry about the punch—I won't charge for that."

Was it the job she cost him? Was it equating her 'attention' with monetary value? Was it just not telling him? But who among them actually came forward and said it? Even Shinobu had to make him doubt her with all that hair-trigger whining. Or was it just that, on more occasions than she cared to remember, she just hadn't been much of a friend?

At that moment, she was well prepared to either sit there staring at the picture or to find a tall enough overlook to be certain of a quick end.

"Hey!"

Something darted past her and grabbed the picture from her hand. Thoughts of becoming either a statue or a memory quickly left her thoughts. She looked at the thief in utter disbelief.

"You—have got to be *FREAKING* kidding me!"

Indeed, a medium-sized fox had the picture in its mouth, and began to move away. Kitsune shook her head as she began pursuit.

"Oh no you don't. Because I love those stupid people, and I hate irony!"

Kitsune swore she saw the fox's eyes do a 'Groucho' motion before starting the chase in earnest.

* * *

Things had now gone too far.

The girl that walked beside him had within a week moved from a model of sweetness and light to a creature of revenge and covetousness.

"Sempai, what is this place?"

Not that she seemed that way at the moment. The décor of the new restaurant, based on 1950's American diners (or their idealized recreations) was perfectly suited to bring out the best in a girl who adored watching the musical 'Grease'. Yet in this instance, Danny would have to tell Sandi that it was not to be. Keitaro was not breaking up with Shinobu because they had never gone together and now never would. For all that, he had no doubt that it would go over like a real break-up.

*Please, God. You've let me walk with a surer footing these last couple of days. Let me walk as a man here and now, because few people in the world mean more to me than this girl, and I must break her heart in no uncertain terms.*

"It's called a Johnny Rocket's, Shinobu. A franchise that took off in the US. Look, it even has little jukeboxes for each table!"

The delight in her eyes as she viewed the Formica counters, rimmed by stainless steel, and with booths and counter chairs that also mimicked the era, was heartening to a young man who felt like he'd done the worst thing imaginable. As is usual with Keitaro Urashima, he was radically overblowing it—what Mitsune Konno wanted from him was not vengeance. But the thing that hurt the most was seeing/hearing Shinobu pour salt into Kitsune's wounds, and knowing that he had played a part in that twisting by choosing to be happy.

*There were times I wanted to block them—as if I could have. There were even rare times I wanted to let them know how it felt—though I knew that if they didn't just kill me, they would end up stunned and hurt---like Kitsune. But shortly after we met, I knew why my worst beatings were reserved for the times I made you cry—or they thought I did. For there is little I wouldn't do to make it so you never had to cry again, Shinobu. Except tonight.*

"Are we the only ones here?"

"A friend of Grandma's runs this place and a few other restaurants. Oh, Hi, Alice!"

The woman who walked over looked not much older than Auntie Haruka, though Shinobu saw someone else in her face.

"Is that little Keitaro? Oh…when you called I couldn't believe it. How is Haruka?"

"Married very recently. She sends her sempai her best and all her love."

"Feh. All I did was give her a cot and lot of scrubbing when Grandma kicked her out that summer. Riding herd on her was a pleasure…mostly. Still, she was the clumsiest thing. Durable sort, though."

"Alice, this is one of my dearest friends, Shinobu Maehara. I and my girlfriend Naru Narusegawa are both her sempais."

"And does she know you're here with such a sweet beautiful creature, Keitaro?"

Shinobu nodded.

"She does, Alice-San. Sempai Keitaro is treating me. It's been a long week. Is it rude of me to ask...?"

"Why Alice? It's not rude at all. My father attended university at California Berkeley. He was a committed anti-war activist. He even once staged a summer road show version of Go Nagai's Devilman. His favorite song was by the folk singer Arlo Guthrie, called 'Alice's Restaurant'."

Shinobu smiled.

"He must be very proud of you."

Alice did not frown, but nor did she respond at all to Shinobu's assertion.

"Keitaro please let me know if anything is lacking. We are only a week away from the grand opening, and the opinion of Urashima-Dono's grandson is of immense importance to me."

"Alice! None of your places is ever lacking. I am surprised you're tackling a franchise."

She waved her hand in a pshawing motion.

"Part of the deal is that I get to experiment with the format a bit. I was thinking of opening a vinyl records store in the space I'm currently using for construction supplies. Songs of the era, Japanese and Korean covers of those songs, and of course, Karaoke."

Shinobu seemed to be shaking with excitement.

"What a wonderful idea! Alice-San, we could stage a play here. We've done it before. Maybe even 'Grease'!"

Now, Alice did smile, and placed her finger under Shinobu's chin. She looked at Keitaro, recalling her last talk with Haruka.

"You chose that violent girl over this treasure?"

Alice immediately sensed the awkwardness the two gave off.

"So—feelings still roil, over at the Love Hina, eh?"

She sat the two down at a booth. Keitaro saw the hurt on Shinobu's face at yet another unneeded reminder, but now again took joy at how she pored over the menu.

"The Double Tillamook Burger with red sauce, Chili Cheese Fries, Onion Rings, Cherry Lemon Coke, and a Chocolate Shake."

"I'll get you anything you want, Shinobu—but that's a lot of food."

She bit her lip, and in his eyes, even that was beautiful.

"It's not all for me. I figure to take some of it home. I owe someone there."

Alice took their order—Keitaro's was a hot dog and a Patty Melt Burger, small fries, and a Cherry Sprite. When that was underway, Keitaro seized upon what he thought was a peaceful moment. Keitaro Urashima had grown immensely in the last three or so years, and especially in the last three months. But he could still be very very wrong.

"Shinobu, the reason I asked you to come here was that Naru and I have come to a decision about our future."

Shinobu nodded.

"I'm not dumb, Sempai. You proposed to her, didn't you?"

She seemed to be accepting the news well. Keitaro took heart from this when perhaps he shouldn't have.

"Back in Molmol. She accepted last night. We want to try and be ahead of the fates for once. We figured that if we made this move faster than anyone expected, we might confound the bad luck that usually finds us. The wedding itself may not be for some time, as we pursue our studies and well—life comes up with twists, luck aside. But rather than take forever to get engaged and then forever to get married, we decided to confirm what we wanted anyway. Shinobu, we love you, and don't want this news to hurt you. Can you accept what I've told you?"

Her smile was again something easily misread.

"I do. My sempai and Onee-Chan, Naru Narusegawa, will be your wife."

He smiled back at her.

"That's wonderful, I…"

She cut him off in more ways than one.

"And I, Shinobu Maehara, will be your mistress."

Alice walked up with the chili cheese fries and the frankfurter.

"Who had the hot dog?"

Grinning all the while with an almost wicked confidence, Shinobu grabbed the hot dog, and took a large bite before returning it to a stunned Keitaro, swallowed and then wiped the mustard from her mouth with the back of her hand.

*She couldn't have just yelled 'Jerk' and then hit me in the crotch with the frying pan, could she?*

* * *

Things had now gone too far.

Naru Narusegawa knew this, just as surely as she knew that she had played a large part in pushing things as far as they had gone. Her mind again ran through the moments of that morning's calling out of Kitsune. It wasn't that Mitsune Konno wasn't at times a pain in the ass, and hadn't been intolerably over-the-top since Todai. That was the essence of her oldest friend. But she was tired of all the clever deflection, even when backed by valid individual points, allowing her friend to slide endlessly into the next prank or scheme. Yet Naru had still hit her, just as she had hit Keitaro on countless occasions—and Keitaro at least tried to offer explanations. It had also occurred to her after more than one incident that life in a place whose central feature was an outdoor bath meant some awkward moments—though no one quite did awkward like her man.

She needed new solutions to dealing with her life, while realizing at the same time that none of them was likely to change so much as to make these incidents entirely a thing of the past. No one dismissed Keitaro anymore, but while his luck and coordination had improved, some kind of embarrassing situation was bound to rile them. If Kitsune ended up staying, she might lay low for awhile, and might even apologize, but when she felt things were getting dull, Naru saw her pal telling Keitaro there was no one in the onsen, only for him to find the visiting Tsuruko Aoyama, more than her sword on display. As for herself? Well, she hadn't been one for explanations since she was a little girl, listening to a succession of doctors that repeated the same mantra: that her inexplicable illness would keep her bed-ridden for all of what was likely to be a short life. Maybe she was no longer an ingénue—or for that matter, a pent-up virgin—but suppose he came home drunk? What if a bimbo at an office party left lipstick on him, despite pushing her off? She had already decided that any dig with Seta was an automatic out for lateness and not calling—a girl always loves her sempai, but that girl knew her Sempai-Sama could be as huge and thoughtless a pain as Kitsune.

*But Kitsune had a point. I let him off based on Auntie reaming him, and we never really had a chance to corner Kanako. And did Grandma reallly need to send that ninja-girl nuke into our midst? We all owe her, so that's a given pass. But what if she comes up with some weird pre or post-wedding test? My friends made me wonder what was what in Molmol. I've been a pain too, so I'll try and forgive them. But I think I want to never be put through something like that again because someone I trusted decided to play a game. Was I punishing Kitsune's actions or acting in fear against the uncertainty they all created? Cause I hate uncertainty. I hate…*

"Ummm…Naru?"

"Oh, Mutsumi…I'm so sorry."

The only friend to stand by her side the entire infuriating time in Molmol sat across from her in the fish market's eatery. It was a small one known to Mutsumi's family, well away from the bustling world famous hyper-market in Tokyo proper.

"It's all right. Shinobu told me everything."

She smiled, and it was not a rare smile like Naru felt her own had been. Her hands were gentle looking, not pile drivers that childishly needed to hit a boy to say she liked him. Her chest, whatever size it was, stood over a heart that was big enough to forgive an oaf she otherwise cared for, when his face found that same chest. Naru found herself fighting not to run away and once again leave her love to the care of someone who deserved him.

*But he would find me, wouldn't he? Was I calling him an idiot for ever being interested in someone like me? I don't just feel guilt about how I've treated him—it goes way past that. I sit in astonishment at a love that made him choose me over either of the women we're with tonight.*

"Including about Kitsune?"

"Especially about Kitsune. Naru, you had the right to confront her, and the need. No one could just let all those things go."

That she had read Naru so well surprised her less than the fact that the easy-going Mutsumi had endorsed her vengeful approach.

"We didn't exactly play fair ourselves. I didn't let her bring up some things that might have toned it down a bit."

While not calling for blood, Mutsumi again placed herself between Naru and her regrets.

"Friends are not bound by rules of evidence, the last I checked. What's that saying? Sow the wind, and reap the whirlwind? I think that, if you have a fault in this, it's that you all didn't call her on her behavior and pranks and debts well before things got this bad."

Naru had thought about this as well.

"Usually, she holds back after a run of Kitsune-ness. I guess that, up till now, she knew to keep things just below the intolerable mark. This time, though? I even hit her, Mutsumi. I haven't hit her since just after I moved in."

"What brought that on?"

"I—showed her my welts and bruises from being tied up on the damned airship. I could see in her eyes that she got where they came from. But instead of saying anything remotely like an apology, she just cracked wise again."

Mutsumi struck a blow of her own.

"Had you told her before that you had these injuries?"

Naru's eyes widened, telling Mutsumi all.

"Men tell us all the time that they aren't mind readers. But I don't think we are either. Still, while Su is a child from a different culture, Kitsune is an adult—also capable of asking why you were suddenly hostile to her. As for that picture—I might have let it go. Then again, I know how much she resents me for having a bigger bust. The picture in my case would have burned her more than it ever could me. But if you live at the Hinata-Sou, you have to know that invading the privacy of Naru Narusegawa is a losing proposition."

Naru shook her head.

"I can't do that. I can't slide on the defense of 'that's just how Naru is' and disallow it for her. If she's playing with the rules, I can't. Not again. Not if my righteous stand drives her away forever—like it may have already done."

Mutsumi lightly touched her cheek, and then suddenly bonked her on top of the head.

"There you go again. Retreating to an uncomfortable but familiar situation that you also obviously can't put up with anymore. Naru, it was letting things go for so long that made you so angry at Kitsune. It also told her that the line of what was acceptable was still a long ways off. If you owe her an apology, it's not for the punch, it's for the timing. That argument might also apply to Su. Did none of you ever consider just telling her the whys and wherefores of culture outside her homeland, especially Japan?"

"No. We were all too busy denying being interested in the only boy who could put up with us, and punishing him for having an interest in girls."

"That's still too simple a stance, Naru. Some of Keitaro's intrusions were epic. I think he understands that. Yes, there is justice, and a balanced response is preferable to an over-reaction. But Keitaro invaded your privacy, and while it might be fun, we aren't exactly encouraged to invite boys to bathe with us past a certain age. As for Su, we're told to expect odd things from a foreigner, plus we love her. We love Kitsune, so we roll our eyes, groan and shout her name. Actions have consequences, sometimes even well beyond the actions themselves. Keitaro chose to live in a place with women who all ended up wanting to marry him while mortally terrified that he would by render them unmarriageable by his eyes alone. Su chose to live in a country where the nail that juts out from the floorboard is hammered twice as hard. Maybe you protected her from that reality a little too much. Kitsune rode the edges of irresponsibility in a house full of people who could guarantee she wouldn't have to worry about it."

"So it is on us."

"Partially. But by that same token, she had to realize a day like today might come around. It wasn't any one thing she did that placed her in your sights, fairly or unfairly. It was choosing to let them pile up like papers in the corner. Eventually, a spark can cause all those papers to catch fire. Also—don't discount the idea that she just may have wanted the inn less than she wanted the man holding it. He—has that way about him."

Naru spoke of the reason for this meeting, even if Mutsumi knew it as well as had Shinobu.

"I want to marry him, Mutsumi, and I want those two royal pains there as it happens, creating mechanical turtles while getting loaded. But I live in fear of driving them all away. I can't be this tantrum-prone monster anymore. More than any of them, I'm the one who has to change. I think Kitsune knows it about herself, and is too scared to. I think Su may have inkling, but no idea about how much. I'm not scared, and I know how much. I just have no idea how to do it."

Her oldest and yet newest friend smiled again, raising a finger in the air as she spoke.

"I can help you there, but it means some pain to start off."

"Do it, whatever it is. I can't ask my man to man up and not be willing to----umm—you know, myself."

Mutsumi nodded.

"Alright. How many of your closest friends on Molmol were basically there to get Keitaro in their clutches?"

"Is this a trick question?"

"Sort-of."

"Then----you tell me."

Mutsumi grinned wickedly and gave an answer that, while not Earth-shattering per se, did rock an important part of Naru's world.

"All of them."

Naru took what she was saying in, and indeed, there was pain for her from this revelation. But even as that formed, she echoed her lover some short distance away.

*She couldn't have just fainted dead away and then gotten me arrested for murder, could she?*

* * *

Kitsune gave chase to the little thief, not even noticing that the woods were growing ever denser as she ran. She almost had it, though.

*Damn it! A picture I can barely remember taking started this lousy day, and now a picture that may be all I have left in the world…no. Not saying it.*

"You know what, pal? I'm gonna apologize to Naru---by bringing her a fox fur coat!"

The rascal's tongue stuck out two times before it again darted off. Kitsune shook her head.

"Did—that thing just say, 'Meep, Meep'?"

Running along after it, Kitsune saw dust kicking up all around her. Ahead, the fox had calmly stopped and seemed to be waiting for her. Just short of this with the dust still kicked up, she stopped as well.

"Now give."

The fox looked down at Kitsune's feet. Now, so did Kitsune.

"Crap!"

A small but appreciable gap existed between where the fox stood and where Kitsune had been. Almost as though gravity had waited for her realization, Kitsune fell, and fell hard. But to her amazement, she got up after gaining leverage.

*What the hell? First I survive a Naru-Punch, Shinobu's killer cookware and now this? What am I, Leia to Keitaro's Luke? Not that it would stop me, mind you…oh wow. That's worse than Kanako.*

On a rise just above her, was the fox with the photo still firmly in its mouth. One paw lifted off the ground and seemed to gesture in a 'come and get me' fashion. Kitsune pointed.

"OH. IT'S ON!!!!!"

Seeing her quarry dart into an opening between two large trees, she jumped at the fox---only to hit the rock right behind that opening, face-first. Before falling unconscious, she managed a brief thought.

*Okay. May-be I deserved to get yelled at. But I really have to object to this. I mean, Naru has this coming so much more than I could ever hope to. I…sorry guys. Whatever you think of me, I lo…*

And in all the time she lay there, the fox did not move so much as a muscle.

* * *

Haruka prepared to end the call. At first, she had dreaded yet another call to or from her former home, but given what was related, she was glad.

"Thanks, Motoko. Well, this was a while in coming. No. See, confronting Kitsune is the dumbest way to go about things with her. Problem is, it also happens to be the only way to go about things with her. Good luck with Su. Take care, kid."

Su. Haruka had tried and broach these matters, but Grandma had flatly said she did not possess the patience or standing with the girl to make it happen. She had been right.

*Let's hope I can do that with her best pal.*

In front of the playground, on a bench, sat a dejected Sarah, holding the remains of an artifact. Back on the playground, a small legion of boys cowered in absolute terror.

"What happened?"

Sarah looked up, frowning.

"They're all a bunch of wimps! They can't take it—not like---like him."

Haruka loved this little girl as she had her mother, and as she did her step-father. She loved all her kin, some more than others. Despite this, she had to fight against laughing out loud as she spoke again.

"Not every boy is going to be quite as manly as your cousin Keitaro."

"I guess not. Think I'll ever get on their good side?"

Haruka patted her on the head.

"You're a blond American surrounded by Japanese boys, destined by genetics to have at least a decent rack. I'd say your future dance card is full."

Sarah smiled.

"Thanks, Mom."

"No prob. By the way, what you just said about your cousin?"

"Yeah?"

Haruka took some sweet revenge on her newest headache. She leaned up in Sarah's face.

"Eeeeeewwwwwww!!!"

* * *

Keitaro took in Shinobu's stunning offer, and tried to keep several things in mind. She was very, very beautiful, and she was the one who had never bothered hiding her feelings for him. Except for a handful of nerve-induced accidents and two recent events, she had never struck him, and certainly never with the abandon and contempt the others had displayed (although he now understood even that a bit better).

This was also simultaneously the fragile crush of a young girl and the fierce love of a young woman who knew who and what she wanted. It was also what Captain Kirk had called The No-Win Scenario, the one that, when he truly faced it, cost him the life of his best friend. He did not want to even risk losing her friendship. If Keitaro had never had much luck with girls, he had also never had many real friends, and these crazy violent girls were all more precious to him in the latter regard than he knew how to say, even absent flustered stammers. He was caught in a situation in which there was no right answer, no way to avoid the pain that had to follow whatever he said.

He recalled every sweet moment with this young girl, including shopping with her, watching 'guy-stuff' videos with her, and every single instance in which their faces were etched in absolute horror at the sighting of something public morals just didn't allow for. He recalled questioning his sanity as he continued to fix his gaze on a girl who fought him every step of the way rather than someone like Shinobu—or for that matter, Shinobu herself. She was worth waiting for, be it five years or seven, it didn't matter. While they would watch him like hawks, the other ladies could never fault him for choosing the one they also loved best of all, as the years ticked by.

Yet it wasn't her, and it was never going to be her. As cruel as his next action might be or seem, he also recalled the one time he had truly hurt her, when he let a misunderstanding blossom into a full-blown lie. So it was that Keitaro Urashima gave the only answer he possibly could to Shinobu Maehara's offer to become his secret lover while still marrying Naru. One word that hit them both with the force of a tsunami.

"No."

Her face did not contort in rage, nor did she leap across the booth's table, knife in hand.

"I understand, Sempai. You need time to consider all this. But once you've taken that time, the offer stands. After all, if we snuck off so soon after you and Sempai Naru started in, she would get suspicious. My sixteenth birthday isn't that far off. Then it's legal."

Actually, he knew, prefecture law was more like eighteen, but whether she was wishfully thinking or lying, it didn't matter.

"Shinobu, there is nothing to consider, and all the time in the world won't change or modify my answer. That answer is still No."

She now looked a bit put off. Keitaro realized to his discomfort that he would probably be forced to take this all the way to a true confrontation. This time, he swore on his soul, he would cut his hands off before even raising them to as much as block Shinobu.

"So---what you're saying is, you want nothing but abuse and random bouts of turning away in your life. You want, without outlet or relief, to fight with a woman who won't let you so much as compliment her without falling into a rage. You want only to be insulted and belittled, and screamed at for things no sane person could ever call for being your fault? Is that what you're saying, Keitaro? Because that's what I'm hearing."

He refused to dignify her attack with a response, so she kept on.

"I think that you're a good man. I would never tell you otherwise. I think that you are one day going to be a great man. Great men often have both a wife and a mistress. You know, there is no reason per se to keep this a secret from Naru. I think she's beginning to finally recognize your worth—took her long enough. Say the word and I'll approach her—I'll say it was all my idea, and that you shot me down. That'll give you cover and I think she might even see that knowing your eye is confined to her circle would be…a good…"

Her speech paused and halted as she caught what she was saying. The rage began to break through at last.

"But you won't allow that, will you? It's just like Kitsune said. You already have what every guy is after, and you're so spinelessly afraid of risking it that you can't see what's best for you. Is it the age difference between us? Because it doesn't matter to me. Say the word—I'll go with you to that restroom. I would have---uhhhhh—I would have done it the night we met, if I had known that was what made your decision for you!"

"Stop it. You're better than this. Kitsune also urged you to remember who you are. Damn it, Shinobu. This isn't about sex, and it isn't about age. We could have all been doing it like rabbits since that first night, and all been born at the exact same moment on the exact same day---"

His next words surprised even him. They were not forced from an idealized dream or promise, nor did they originate from anywhere but his own truest heart.

"---and my choice still would have been Naru."

"You can't know that."

"Yes I can. I can't prove it by math or alternate history projection, or by anything rational. But I know that. Just as I know that I cannot endorse a plan that ultimately hurts us all. It betrays Naru, it betrays our dreams, and worst of all and it betrays my Shinobu, who deserves a lot better than to spend her life always being second."

"Don't. Don't call me your Shinobu unless you mean to make it happen. Don't tell me what I deserve. I deserve to have your love, after serving as your harmless little pal all this time. Is that it? Shinobu is only interesting, as long as she isn't dangerous? A cute sweet fantasy, a safety net for when your porn stash gets old?"

He shook his head. If she had been anyone else and said these things, he would have contemplated slapping her.

"If you were—normally—twenty times as sweet, exactly my age, and if I were even a bigger wimp when I arrived and Naru forty times as violent—if all of them were—my choice would remain the same. This is that time, Shinobu. Accept what will be, and what will not be. You've always been mature for your age. Be that now."

She wasn't backing down, nor had he expected she would.

"So your dream, blared over loudspeakers into our skulls, gets to come true, while mine dies a quiet death?"

Never the wisest man on Earth, Keitaro knew what she would say next.

"I Hate You."

He got up from the table, and headed for the restroom she had suggested earlier, though this was to get away from her, rather than be with her.

"If that's really how you feel, then you're just being a brat, and we were never really friends, Shinobu."

In the restroom, he took off his glasses and began to cry. He even briefly wondered if his durability extended to self-inflicted injuries. Back at the table, Shinobu crumpled inside, realizing her all-out effort to gain the man she loved had in fact achieved the exact opposite effect. In the chrome on the booth's jukebox, she saw her reflection. The reflection of a little girl who had tried to be what she saw as a sophisticated woman, only to fall off her tricycle.

*Jerk*

* * *

Naru couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Mutsumi, you were by my side the entire time! You were the only one whose motives I didn't have to puzzle out."

Mutsumi Otohime smiled and shrugged.

"I went with you to Molmol to try and get Keitaro for myself. To get him to be my husband, and if an opportunity had really presented itself, I would have moved on him like a wave hits the shore."

Naru found one of her only remaining pillars crumbling fast.

"That's—that's not how it was."

"No, Naru—that's not how you saw it. What I saw was my last chance to have a boy I've loved for as long as I can remember as mine, and mine alone. This was my time to not stand aside happily, but to make my own happily ever after. You don't even remember those times. Those times when a sick little girl made good use of the sympathy sick little girls always get. I knew I had to let him pay attention to you, or you might get really sick and die. You owe your life to me, but you also get to take the very best thing in my life as your own?"

Naru shook her head.

"You're either joking, or you feel like you have to join in with the others to make me understand something, right?"

Mutsumi smiled, and her hair-tennas rustled.

"Nope! I went there to steal back what you took. I even had a plan."

"What---kind of plan?"

"Hmmm—how should I say this? Su had her own country and armed forces, but I think some Gamera films were better organized, so no threat there. I honestly don't believe Motoko was there for the same reason as the rest of us. Partly honor, and partly pride from having said she already resolved her feelings for Keitaro. Kanako, amazingly, may be the only one of our varied crowd who is actually clinical. Shinobu idolizes him too much to actually pursue him in a meaningful and effective way. Kitsune wants attention more than anything else, and hid behind the Sou's deed to mask how she really felt. As for you? As usual, at the first hint that there even might be someone else for Keitaro, you started to run off. What was the excuse this time? Oh, Yes. A lack of confidence in your looks. Sarah slept mostly. Oh, and Auntie Haruka had Seta."

"Auntie?!"

"You never noticed their romance? Kind of a generational inverse to him and Shinobu. Don't you see, Naru? Your approach was so slap-dash, even a woman we all saw as a mother could have had him in a heartbeat."

Naru began to shake, with both fear and rage.

"Don't do this. You're one of the only sane ones. One of the only things I can count on. The others just turned on me when it counted most. Not you."

Mutsumi blinked, and usually this blink was enchanting to anyone who saw her.

"Turned on you? You think the entire world turns on you. As to my plan—welllll, let's just say I got 'em, and there's a quick way to use 'em to make a man your friend for life. I probably would have had to shower from head to toe after—lemon juice is good for getting that stuff off. Heh. I'll bet his eyes wouldn't need glasses, after that."

As if to make a point, Mutsumi bounced her chest twice.

"Of course, given how you handle things, I probably still have a chance. After the next beating for not agreeing with your choice of movie to watch, he may just be in the mood for an upgrade in fiancée."

Naru briefly swore that, in the face of this savage deconstruction, she would not allow herself to react in a predictable manner. This was very brief. No ad-hoc battle-cry left her lips, but she did form a fist. As Mutsumi ate her fish-head soup, Naru's arm pulled back and then shot forward.

"Mutsumi-Block!"

Without looking up from her soup, Mutsumi caught and held Naru's punch with two raised fingers from her left hand.

"And I'm not even left-handed."

Naru almost fell back into her chair, much of the power of her infamous punch channeled back and hitting her as hard as a man intruding into a ladies onsen. Her mind and soul were in not much better shape.

"Why, Mutsumi?"

* * *

Shinobu sat and stewed. Never had she felt more alone. Like Kitsune, whom she had taunted and condemned, she made a wild gamble and lost everything she had.

"Couldn't he even consider it?"

"No. I don't think he could."

Shinobu snapped back to reality to see Alice sitting across from her.

"Did you listen in on what we were saying?"

The somewhat older woman nodded.

"Hard not to. You looked at times like you might go after him."

Shinobu now felt humiliated as well as ashamed of herself.

"Alice-San, you are my elder and this is your place. But you should not have listened in."

Alice held up a card.

"A free meal for you and all your friends if my explanation for doing so does not satisfy you."

Shinobu felt angry enough to bankrupt this woman.

"Go on."

Alice gestured about her.

"Twenty years ago, another girl about your age came to the old restaurant on this spot with her sempai. He too was set to tell her of his upcoming marriage."

"You?"

"All right, that bit was obvious. But it is all true. Like yourself, I fiercely loved my sempai. I did not take his news well at all. He was a good man, but soft-headed and hearted, and maybe a little too horny for any of our good. So when I made the same offer you did to Keitaro—he took me up on it—in or near the very spot you suggested. I was cramped, and people walked in on us, but I didn't care. I had him, and surely one day I could become his wife as well. For a while, it was fun. He was fun to be with."

Shinobu waited for more, seeing that Alice was in deadly earnest. But another voice was heard first.

"Mother, the neon counter sign has been delivered, as has the pickles and onions. Should I sign for them?"

"BAKA! You interrupt me and our guest? Yes, sign for them, if you know how to write your own name without me holding your hand!"

The boy was about a year older than Shinobu, wearing the franchise's standard 50's Diner uniform, and looked sturdy yet appealing. He also seemed more nervous than her own sempai had been the night he arrived at the Sou.

"Yes, Mother."

The boy seemed to have his gaze locked on Shinobu, and his throat gurgled as though trying to voice words.

"Arlo! Is there work to do in the kitchen?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Then stop molesting our guest with your perverted eyes and get your lazy ass back to work."

"Yes, Mother."

Despite her warnings, Arlo did look at Shinobu again before leaving. Alice sighed.

"Yes, I know. I treat him horribly. No mother could have a better son, but I cannot ever seem to tell him that."

Shinobu did some painfully easy math.

"Does he look that much like his father?"

"Yes. And he is at the age I first met his father. He was skinny-dipping with the girl he eventually married—and still is married to, despite a deluded girl's fantasies."

"She was also your sempai?"

Alice shook her head.

"Worse. My cousin, who I once called Onee-Chan. I don't call her that anymore. What she calls me—is best not repeated. Arlo is a non-entity to them. Remember my iconoclast father? He suddenly became very traditional, in light of what I had done."

Shinobu tried to keep her focus on Alice's obvious pain, but it was bleeding through to hers.

"But what about him? He betrayed his wife, and left you pregnant and alone."

"He was the sort that always got forgiven. I was the sort that always got blamed. If not for Hinata-Dono letting me stay at the Sou off-season, I don't like to think about how Arlo and I would have lived. A small loan from her started my first restaurant. But it's been hard, on me and my boy."

"You---lived at the Hinata-Sou?"

Alice now seemed to smile.

"I stayed in—let's see—Room 201. Arlo was born in there. Hinata-Dono said that she liked having young women as boarders, so perhaps that was why she changed it from a hotel. Shinobu—I am sorry I intruded. But I felt I could not remain silent, and allow you to hate your sempai for showing the decency and wisdom not to abuse a young girl's devotion. Hinata-Dono bequeathed decency to her children and grandchildren. Rather than curse the fates, praise God for that fact."

Shinobu now felt lower than ever.

"I don't hate him. I hate myself. Ever since we got back, I've been a bratty monster. All because I didn't get what I wanted."

"Are these wrongs beyond redress?"

"No. But I can't believe the things I've said and done."

Alice got up from the table.

"I know the feeling. But because your sempai is a better man than mine proved to be, you will have the chance I never did. Treasure it, and the man who is probably your truest friend, for giving not the empty fun you wanted, but the firm answer you needed."

She saw him emerge from the restroom, eyes still red. She heard the angry words of the other ladies back at the Hinata-Sou.

*You Made Keitaro Cry.*

Like a bolt, she ran into his arms, and they embraced. Heartened, Keitaro looked down at her and held her chin.

"It's not in the way you wanted. But never doubt the sincerity of these words."

She had once thought just hearing this from him could change her life in the most wonderful ways. She was wrong—and she was right as well.

"Shinobu Maehara—I Love You."

"Keitaro Urashima---"

She smiled mischievously.

"—I Know."

-----------------------------------------

Mutsumi put aside her soup.

"You know, you never asked me when exactly I abandoned my master plan to take Keitaro. Or even how long it took me to cook it all up."

Naru prepared herself for another round.

"Alright. How long did it take, and when did you come up with it?"

Mutsumi cupped Naru's cheek.

"On the trip to Molmol, as I got bored out of my mind. I abandoned it five seconds after we arrived, like a good friend should."

Naru pushed her off.

"That's not funny. I ask you to help me figure out why I get so violent, and then as a prank even Kitsune would have turned down, you make me that mad? Mutsumi, why?"

The odd beauty's genius side was showing in full force.

"Tell me how you felt when I made you think I had betrayed you. When I taunted you with a bunch of observations you normally could shut down at any time. When I blocked your super-punch with almost no effort at all."

Naru said the only word that came to mind.

"Weak. I felt weak. How could you do that to me?"

"Stop. Now—when Kitsune and Su kidnapped you, and had you all trussed up?"

"Weak. Helpless."

Mutsumi pressed on, despite the pain on her friend's face.

"Before you realized you cared for Keitaro, how did his onsen adventures make you feel?"

Naru chuckled.

"Angry. Pissed."

"And?"

"Ummm----well, he did seem like he might be some kind of pervert mastermind. So I guess I felt maybe—threatened?"

"And after you realized you cared but couldn't quite put your finger on it, how did that make you feel?"

"I don't know. Distracted. Unfocused. Confused."

"Finally, when I returned and Kanako showed up, and it looked like Keitaro might just like one of us better, what then?"

Naru felt something shift.

"Scared."

Mutsumi took her friend's hand, and squeezed it.

"When in your life did you feel all those things all at once? All at the same time?"

Naru put her hand over her heart. Her breathing halted for ten seconds.

"When I was little. When I was so sick, everyone thought I might die. I hate being reminded of when I wasn't strong."

Mutsumi smiled.

"And who besides me did more than anyone else to lift your spirits during that dark time?"

Naru had studied enough psychology to catch on.

"I—associated Keitaro with my early weakness, even though he helped me overcome it. Since I didn't remember knowing him, I only knew that I thought of weakness when I saw him, and it made me want to demonstrate my strength. Same with Kitsune's tricks. I'm not a violent girl after all."

"Ummmm---I wouldn't say that. You've actually always been a hitter. As a matter of fact, Keitaro and I were the only kids who would go near you, because you would hit, knowing others couldn't hit a sick girl back. You've actually grown less sadistic over time."

Naru's mood swings were getting to be like a space coaster ride.

"Thanks a lot, Mutsumi."

"Well, it is true. But he actually kind of liked it when you hit him. In fact, the very last time we saw each other, he made you promise to get really crazy strong, so you could hit him even harder. Hmm. Actually, that makes him kind of a pervert, even back then. Good thing I backed off in time."

Naru finally dropped another burden.

"Why did you back off? Why did you support us, against the wishes of your own heart?"

"Because, silly! From the time we were all kids together to now, the only thing that makes me feel better than being with Keitaro is watching him be with you. Being with him myself was like a summer day. Watching you be with him has always been like every good summer day rolled into one. I didn't give anything up, Naru. Besides, the wonder of your love proves that if it can happen once, it can happen again. For any of us."

Naru stood up.

"Then let's pay our tab and go collect him. Do you want the rest of my soup?"

Mutsumi leaned forward, in Naru's face.

"Nope. I want your man. It could still work, you know."

Naru then playfully demonstrated why she was and would always be a violent girl.

* * *

Two people who would always love each other in a very special way danced together.

"Sempai—I am stronger for having known you. I am better for having loved you."

"Shinobu-Chan—above even my Naru, your love showed me my worth when I assumed I simply had none at all. I am better for having watched and helped as you grow ever more beautiful."

She held him close, the better to try and let him go once and for all.

"Then if we love each other, why wasn't it the two of us making all that noise last night?"

"Well, for one thing, I hear that prison food is lousy."

"SEMPAI!"

They both laughed.

"It isn't us because, Shinobu, love doesn't make any sense. Why else would a girl like Naru be marrying the guy who embarrassed and distracted her so often? Why else would I be marrying a girl who used to punch me out for things that I had no fault for, and who made a business out of ignoring my explanations?"

"Wow. I guess it really doesn't make any sense. Maybe we made too much sense to click. Does it always make as little sense as it does in your case?"

"I—like to think that, even by the standards of true love, Naru and I are extreme."

The song from 1958 played as they kept dancing. Both of them had excellent English grades, so they caught every last word.

**Born too late for you to notice me  
To you, I'm just a kid that you won't date  
Why was I born too late?

Born too late to have a chance to win your love  
Oh why, oh why was it my fate  
To be born too late?

I see you walk with another  
I wish it could be me  
I long to hold you and kiss you  
But I know it never can be

for I was

Born too late for you to care  
Now my heart cries  
Because your heart just couldn't wait  
Why was I born too late?

Born too late for you to care  
Now my heart cries  
Because your heart just couldn't wait  
Why was I born too la-a-a-a-ate?  
Why was I born too late?  
Too late **

They separated when it was done. Two visitors clapped.

"They really do make a much cuter couple than you two."

Naru nodded at Mutsumi's words.

"I know. That kid is the greatest danger to my future marriage. So why such a sad song, Shinobu?"

"It wasn't sad, Sempai Naru. It was acceptance of what is, and my chance to move on from those feelings. Besides, the group was called the Poni-Tails. How cool is that?"

Mutsumi put one of the provided nickels in the jukebox.

"This one was called The Exciters. Shinobu—you wanna see these two dance?"

"Oh—I've seen them dance—up close and personal. But let's see them cut a rug."

Keitaro gulped.

"Suppose I step on your feet?"

Naru shrugged.

"You have a few hundred hits pre-paid that I owe you. For now lover—let's dance."

**I know something about love. You've gotta want it bad  
If that guy's got into your blood, go out and get him  
If you want him to be the very part of you  
That makes you want to breathe, here's the thing to do...

Tell him that you're never gonna leave him  
Tell him that you're always gonna love him  
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now

I know something about love. You gotta show it and make him  
See the moon up above. Reach out and get it  
If you want him to make your heart sing out  
And if you want him to only think of you...

Tell him that you're never gonna leave him  
Tell him that you're always gonna love him  
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now

Ever since the world began it's been that way  
For man and woman were created to make love their destiny  
Then why should true love be so complicated? Oh...

I know something about love. You gotta take it and  
Show him what the world is made of, one kiss will prove it  
If you want him to be always by your side  
Take his hand tonight and swallow your foolish pride and…

Tell him that you're never gonna leave him  
Tell him that you're always gonna love him  
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now **

And as they danced, a hand tapped Shinobu on the shoulder.

"Maehara-San—will you dance with me?"

Sweet and nervous, Arlo looked like he had summoned all his courage to make this request. Shinobu hated to refuse him.

"No. This is their dance. But come by the Hinata-Sou two weeks from today. If all my sempais approve, then---maybe we can have a meal together. But know this, Arlo-San---"

She smiled at the almost-not-clumsy Keitaro as he danced with his future wife.

"—you have a very high standard to live up to. Perhaps the highest."

Arlo nodded in agreement, and his mother's scolding was a little less harsh as he went back to work. Mutsumi nudged Shinobu.

"I approve of him already. Oooh. Are you going to take him up to your room?"

Shinobu smiled, and it was starting to once again become her natural state.

"Actually—he's already been there. He just doesn't remember it."

Since part of her life had been defined by such a memory, Mutsumi accepted this odd statement, but also asked another question.

"Why make him wait two weeks? Playing hard to get?"

Shinobu shook her head.

"No. I-need some time to make up for some things I've done. Some debts to pay. Some promises to keep."

Shinobu stopped Naru after the dance was done, and made a request.

"Keitaro?"

"Yes?"

Naru had her arms around Shinobu from behind.

"This sweet kid who we owe like, everything to, wants you to be her boyfriend."

"Naru! C'mon, I'm not walking into a trap like that."

She lightly bonked him on the head.

"No! She wants you to be her sounding board on all things guys. Even stuff that decorum, culture and tradition don't normally allow for. Short of talking really dirty or physical contact, you are to give her anything she wants to survive in the world of dating you perverted Neanderthals."

He smiled and bowed at three women who could not have loved him more.

"Given. Always."

The bill was paid, and Shinobu's large doggy bag was packed. Back at the Sou, she made an important first step.

"Huh! Is it poisoned? Mixed with laxatives?"

Shinobu put down the bag and hugged the stuffings out of Kaolla Su.

"I'll be pulling for you tonight. Because I want you to stay with us. Maybe even long enough to forgive the monster I became."

Su cried to see her friend back.

"Do I really have to do this?"

"Yes. Even though I was wrong to lash out like I did, some things that happened in Molmol and before were also wrong. We can't let things just hang there anymore, Su. These matters have to be addressed, and you have to learn why it was all wrong."

Shinobu kissed her on the forehead.

"But I know you can do it. So do all your friends."

"Even Kitsune?"

Shinobu assured her of that, but outside Su's room, she frowned. For Kitsune had not called, or been seen or heard from in all that time.

*Please be okay, you lying drunken pain in the ass. Because none of us would know what to do without you. And you and I still have to forgive each other.*

Things had now gone too far. But now they also stood a fighting chance of being made right once again.

* * *

Kitsune awoke with a splitting headache.

"Please don't tell me it's still here."

Sure enough, the fox still waited there, the picture in its mouth.

"Just who—and what are you?"

The fox dropped the picture, and then turned into mist. The mist reformed as a woman who looked Human and yet not quite as well. Mitsune beheld a woman who looked much like her.

"Three guesses."

Mitsune nodded, and took all this in calmly and rationally.

*I get it now. Motoko knew I'd steal the sake, so she majorly spiked it. Motoko, I forgive you. Now kill me while I'm comatose, and we'll be good.*

The woman who had been the fox shrugged.

"Will you stop with the 'how strong was the sake' comments already?"

Mitsune realized that her thoughts had been read.

"Ummm—why are you here? With me?"

The fox-woman smiled.

"Copyright protection, kid. See, you've been giving us a bad name, and we need to talk."

Mitsune 'Kitsune' Konno desperately wanted to be groped, punched, whined at, subjected to crazed inventions, and envy a woman with a bigger bust. But considering the nature of her accuser, she prepared for her worst day ever to get just a little to a whole lot weirder.

Even in that, she had no idea what she was in for.


	8. Chapter Seven Cocktails For Su

**Chapter Seven - Cocktails For Su**

* * *

HINATA-SOU, LATE 1999

"Do ya think he looked angry at me?"

Naru brushed her hair and looked oddly at Sarah doing the same.

"Umm—you did hit him."

"So did you. So does everybody—except Shinobu and Mutsumi."

Naru hated this aspect of her life, and she hated explaining it even more.

"We hit him when he puts us in an embarrassing situation—like when he falls into the onsen like that, and ends up seeing us naked and touching us. He should know better by now."

"So Keitaro does it on purpose?"

Naru surprised both her guest and herself with the fierceness of her response.

"No! He's just an idiot, and always finds himself there. Also, he has the worst luck of anyone I've ever seen."

Sarah looked confused.

"So why hit him?"

"To—teach him a lesson."

"But—if it's mostly bad luck, you can't teach him to have better luck—can you?"

Naru fought to come up with a response.

"Well, he should just behave himself better around young girls like you, Su and Shinobu."

"Why us?"

"Well, weren't you upset when he fell in the onsen and saw you naked?"

Sarah looked at her own unclad form.

"I got nothin'. Plus, you two have seen my hiney."

Naru was sensing this conversation heading for a cliff overlooking a waterfall overlooking an alligator pit.

"Well, weren't you upset at seeing him naked when his stuff fell off?"

"No. Sides', my Dad's is bigger. It's all like---"

"THANK YOU, SARAH! I—don't need to hear about Seta-Sama's personal business."

"But Auntie said you used to climb under the dinner table to try and---"

"Sarah—if you weren't upset with Keitaro's intrusion, then why did you hit him? Were you upset with him from something else?"

Naru knew she was engaging in desperate deflection, but being that close to discussing Seta's thing brought that out in her.

*I used to be as bad as Shinobu is for Keitaro.*

"Huh—I've never really been upset with Keitaro."

Naru puzzled at this response.

"Kid—you hit him as much as any of us---maybe more. If you have no problem with his weird behavior, then you shouldn't hit him."

"Oh, like you have room to talk."

"Sarah---I have a lot more than nothing. I hit him because I don't know any other way to tell him to finally figure out how to not do what he does. Also, he never just leaves. Once his bad luck puts him there, he hems and haws staying put, seeing even more than he would if he just pulled out!"

Rather than point out how the prospect of being hit probably made him even more nervous each time, Sarah grinned at Naru's choice of words.

"Pull out? OOOoooooooh!!!"

Naru flushed.

"No---I just meant that he should finish up---errr stop hesitating and come---around---just get out of there before something happens---be firm not soft---uhhhh—cut the whole thing off---before we all get in trouble---uuuhhhhh---"

"Naru---breathe!"

Naru did just that, and briefly wished that Sarah would just hit her with her mysteriously-produced artifacts.

"You---huhhhu---still didn't answer my question. If you're never upset with Keitaro, then why do you hit him?"

She was not going to let this clever sprite fluster her again with sidetracking.

"Well, he's like this real life cartoon character. Like Goofy, or Daffy Duck. They're dorks too, but they're funny-cool like him. Plus, you can hit him forever, but he's still nice to you after."

"I wish you wouldn't use that word. You know what a dork is?"

"Yeah. But if I tell you, you'll start breathing heavy again."

As Naru puzzled and fumed, Sarah chuckled.

"You're like a cartoon character, too. Only it's words set you off."

The girl strutted about, her arm in the air.

"Keitaro, how dare you come in here? Whack!"

Then she cowered and sniffled.

"Narusegawa, I didn't mean to come in here!"

"You dare say 'Come' to me? Whack! Whack!—You're crying about being hit—Whack! For being a wimp!"

Sarah finally stopped when laughter took over her effort at parody. Naru pointed.

"I—He—WE ARE NOTHING LIKE---"

A hum came from the living room and cut them off.

"Not again. Sarah—get dressed fast."

"What's that dork doing now?"

"It's not him. It's Su."

Sarah gulped.

"Oh! We all had to wear wigs for a month last time. Did all you guys' hair ever grow back on your---"

"SARAH!"

They rushed downstairs, and the hum grew louder. A silvery ball was in the dead middle of the living room, with Su standing befuddled as the sound and the lights emanating from it expanded at a geometric rate.

"It's really not supposed to do that."

Motoko found herself pinned against the wall by the flat of her own sword, somehow magnetized to her by the storm Kaolla Su had summoned. Kitsune was futilely trying to reach the device through the field that kept knocking her back. What exactly she would have done if and when she got there, she didn't know, yet she never stopped trying. Haruka was trapped in the kitchen by swirling pots, pans and utensils. Naru and Sarah hopped over the edge of the stairwell, at an odd angle clear of the wave that had so many of the others pinned. Su still just stood and shook her head, the hum growing into a roar.

"Huh. Maybe I'm not using enough electricity."

To everyone else present, there seemed to be electricity to spare. They were now wondering if they would be spared. Naru, despite her freedom of movement, found herself more than a little afraid, and when she did try and approach the machine, it seemed to roar louder like a cornered animal.

Like Yamato Takeru charging the Orochi itself he came from out of the onsen, where he was cleaning. Keitaro first grabbed Kaolla Su, tossing her to a Motoko who had only just freed herself. His healed leg still showed a stiffness of gait, but nor did he relent in grabbing the device. Mutsumi helped Haruka out of the kitchen, the pair grabbing the struggling Kitsune back from her unwilling pantomime. Sarah ran to be with Su. Naru saw Keitaro heading for the front door, and tried to decide whether or not to follow and aid him. She saw a smaller figure already move with him, and Naru felt ashamed that there was one who didn't need to decide. The two biggest crybabies in the house hefted the threat out the front door, showing clarity and courage that, Naru realized, just might take them into eternity together.

*Her. Not me. Because when the time came, I couldn't decide.*

The explosion came mainly as a flash outside. There was less force and sound than one would have thought, but still it was a loud report. Kitsune's face went wide in horror, and Haruka screamed her nephew's name. Sarah shrank from the front door, and started to cry. Mutsumi looked like she was trying to sense something, muttered something about interference, then sat down, looking actually unhappy. Motoko held onto a Su who looked like she honestly did not get what she had done. Motoko's face looked blank and empty, the sacrifice of a man who had been an annoying but able landlord and a tolerable friend at times hitting as hard as the loss of a girl second in her heart only to Su. Naru knew what she had to do, and headed for the front door.

"Narusegawa, do not go out there! There may not be anything left-or there may be large pieces of them left."

"I have to, Motoko. For Keitaro and Shinobu. I---"

They stumbled back in, wearing only weary, confused looks and nothing else. Keitaro's glasses looked melted. Shinobu's hair was frizzed out in all directions. She leaned up and kissed him absently on the cheek.

"G'night, Sempai."

"G'Night, Shinobu."

Sarah laughed a bit. As Keitaro headed to his room, he was confronted by Motoko.

"Urashima, this is disgraceful! You---"

He seized her wooden staff, and struck himself over the head, handing it back to her when he was done.

"G'Night, Motoko."

"Errr—good evening, Urashima."

"Hey, Narusegawa? Help Auntie clean up outside?"

He was closing the door as she answered.

"Okay, Keitaro. Errr—good job."

"My Dad's is bigger. But he has a nicer butt."

"SARAH!"

Halfway up the steps, Shinobu stopped. Her face looked vacant, and her voice reflected this.

"No, Sempai Naru. She's right. I had a chance to inspect it at about 1000 feet. We kind of floated there for like a minute---then we came down like feathers. Whoooosh! Briefly—I was afraid that, when we landed, Sempai Keitaro had accidentally made me a woman—but it turned out to be one of Sarah's sand castles—and no blood was spilled. Gee. I hope that's not what it's really like. It was kind of a disappointment."

Motoko was shaking with fury.

"Shinobu---he saw you naked! You kissed him while you were both naked!"

Shinobu nodded. Her listless voice never went up so much as one iota.

"Wah. Oh. No. Sempai's a Jerk. Ouch. Murder. Police. Arson. Shotguns. A Thousand White Horses, dogs and cats, living together. Now I'll never graduate from a good wedding school--or something. "

Just as vacantly, a young woman whose modesty often compounded with her feelings for her landlord and senior into blind panic walked back up the stairs, her business in plain view.

" G'Night, Motoko."

"Ummm—evening, Shinobu."

"I'll go—check on her."

Haruka thanked Mutsumi for this, and then pointed at Motoko.

"You talk with Victoria Frankenstein. If this denies her great-grandchildren, Grandma will want heads."

Checking on her nephew, Haruka withdrew. Sarah headed upstairs, waving at Su, who cluelessly waved back, not realizing her friend was doing this in case it was goodbye. This left Naru free to make a beeline for Su—but suddenly she was nowhere to be found.

"Motoko! You can't protect her from this."

Kitsune laughed, but it was nowhere near as confidently as normal.

"It's her pattern, okay? Remember how long they stayed out after Ashura nearly got her whiny head taken off by Su's laser? She does something crazy-big, Motoko realizes this may be it, and pulls her out for a time. Keitaro just forgives—probably why we're not all in stir, and I can't imagine what it would take to actually piss Shinobu off. By the by, you good with little Miss Au Naturel almost flying off into eternity with your 'Not-Boyfriend'?"

"Mitsune, she's a kid with a crush on a lovable fool. And I think this might be the first time Keitaro was completely not at fault for an incident involving exposure."

"You mean except for all the other times he really was innocent? Nah, we've got some karma going on there, but I don't mind. Plus, at times like today, we actually get some male fanservice! Our little pal is filling out—and so's the rest of Keitaro's body. And don't discount Shinobu's crush. Two girls who might want the lad had a chance to maybe end their days at his side. Only one took that chance. She even snagged a naked kiss—though that's not the cheek I would have kissed."

Naru ignored the innuendo—at least on the surface. Shinobu's boldness in deciding things would not leave her, even if her blossoming friendship with Keitaro had left her in doubt about his once-complete unworthy uselessness as something more.

"He saved our lives, and it's not him I'm upset with for right now—give it time. But Su has got to stop, and the only one who can stop her is Motoko. Where does that kid get the money for all that stuff, anyway?"

Kitsune shrugged.

"Mysteries for another day. One thing's a no-brainer : Motoko will never actually tell a kid she sees with that much affection those magic words even a kid like me needed to hear--*No. Just Because. Or Else*. As a Marine I hooked up with used to say—NGH, Baby! Never Gonna Happen."

"Oh, like you ever took those words to heart. I'll marry Keitaro before you'll ever know self-restraint."

"Motoko-will-never-slap-Su-down. Make book on that---and did anyone get a picture of Keitaro? I'll ask Sarah. She's a good kid."

As Naru had protested, her concern was this once not for her anxiety-inducing relationship with Keitaro.

*Motoko, I know it will hurt. But one of these days, it's going to blow up and even Keitaro's durability won't shield us from the explosion. Isn't it better to take her to the woodshed now than risk Keitaro—or even worse, Grandma—throwing her out? I love that kid too. So does Keitaro. So do all of us. Slap her hand now. Before it's too late.*

Outside and a good ways down the path, a Motoko who planned to do almost exactly that felt Kaolla Su jump off her back.

"Why'd we leave like that? I wanted to find out if Shinobu got Keitaro's thing first. That wouldn't be very fair of her, using that explosion as an excuse to get there first. Naru wouldn't like that, I'll bet. Can I be the godmother, if the rabbit dies?"

Motoko closed her eyes and allowed her fury to build. Dearly though she loved this girl, her antics had at last gotten too antic.

*Urashima and Shinobu—both nearly taken from us. For what, Su? How can one of such fundamental brilliance fail to understand basic rules of safety and sanity?*

When she opened her eyes, Su was scrawling in the dirt.

"The motor was whirring at 88.5 KPH. I should have been able to break the barrier. Darn! I was gonna meet Napoleon and get his pastry recipe!"

"That is not important. Two people whom we all care for—to vastly differing degrees, mind you---were hurt and embarrassed while trying to protect us from yet another of your heedless---"

"Huh?"

Su's head turned to look at her mentor, and in those lovely eyes, Motoko found her will and rage simply dissolved.

"Kaolla Su—we will be staying here for tonight. Okay?"

"YAY!"

In Motoko's dreams, a Keitaro and Shinobu dressed in her own clan's finest Samurai robes bested her in combat, broke her weapons and arms and then called her weak.

She chose not to dispute them in this.

* * *

HINATA-SOU, 2001

*This time, I cannot afford weakness in my approach. To save a heart, I must slap a face. Su—only later will you find out what this intervention has cost me. But Tsuruko was right.*

She brought only her wooden weapons, a sign that a novice was to be tasked, though in this case, never with the weapons themselves.

"Motoko?"

"How is she, Shinobu?"

"She liked the stuff I brought her, but she's still scared. I think the very idea that you and Sempai are upset with her at all shook her up. Did she really want to marry both of you, while we were in Molmol?"

"Urashima says so. I have barely accepted my own dreams of marrying him. To be a co-spouse along with him? I am entirely uncertain of how to even visualize that. As I attempted to do just that, I wondered if we would be free to be together separate from Su, or only allowed to be at her disposal. In that moment, with that sort of idle speculation, for the first time since I have known her, I grew enraged at a girl I otherwise adore. Control over my own destiny is important to me. How she failed to see this is a puzzle that tears at my soul."

Shinobu shook her head.

"She's crazy-smart, so I don't get that either. Motoko? As she had us led to the jail—one of the guards shoved their gun into my back to move me along faster. In that moment---"

Shinobu breathed in, bit her lip, and then just said it.

"----in that moment I hated her, and wanted to hurt her. That passed quickly, but I felt like poison got into my system then, and I'm not sure it's out just yet. I started hating all of you for tricking me, I hated Sempai Naru for being the one Sempai Keitaro chose—and I hated him for not choosing me. I hit him as hard as I could—I've never deliberately hit him before—because he is Immortal and didn't have a whole army to hide behind. I've been horrible to both Su and Kitsune. But their actions awoke something in me I never wanted to know was there, let alone see. I love him. I've never been shy about feeling it, and I guess to most it was always pretty obvious. I think Sempai is wonderful. But how anyone could think even he was worth spitting on your closest friends is beyond me."

"If this were merely about Urashima, I would let tonight wait, for that matter has been settled. Or has it? It also occurred to me, that, should Naru and he go to Molmol again, Su could choose to use her powers there to hold and annul them after their wedding. Or perhaps even decide that their son should become her future groom, if and when he were born, and whisk him off."

Shinobu looked a bit skeptical.

"Do you honestly believe she would? I mean I'm upset, but those things are way out there."

"The problem, Shinobu, lies not with the thought that she would choose to do such vicious things. My worry lies in the thought that she may believe that she has the right to do such things. If another girl were to taunt her while we were shopping, even if she never so much as responds, what then if she still believes that she could legitimately have that girl and her clan destroyed?"

Shinobu had no answer, but as she left, she did more fully realize what was at stake with Kaolla Su. The bathroom door opened, and Su sprayed some deodorizer in it as she left.

"Shinobu! I thought you told me that food didn't have any laxatives hidden in it."

"Sorry, Su—Chili Cheese Fries can have a bit of a kick. Plus—you do eat about six or seven bananas a day at minimum."

"Huh? What does that have to do with going to the bathroom a lot?"

Shinobu brought her downstairs, and realized this might be a very long night indeed.

* * *

Inside their room (and the idea that it was theirs together still floored them both) Naru and Keitaro also prepared for the battle to keep a girl they both loved. For the moment, they discussed another such tender heart.

"So did I call it or not?"

Keitaro nodded.

"If you hadn't told me, when Shinobu made that offer, I would have fallen off the chair."

Naru wasn't entirely pleased that her advice and warning had proved prophetic, but she realized it beat the alternative.

"I was really hoping maybe she wouldn't. But I remembered when I had the same dinner with Seta—and made more or less the same offer."

"I really never thought a girl who looks or acts anything like her would have to get over someone like me."

"Then—you really are an idiot. But it's forgivably sweet, so I'll let it go."

They kissed, then got back to the subject of Kaolla Su.

"So what are you thinking of telling her about?"

Keitaro had several things he had talked over with Motoko, but wanted to be thorough, so he spoke of one more.

"She's sweet, and pretty, and I know no guy is really going to have problems with what she put me through on that airship. But I have to say—as she started to peel me, I felt not so much embarrassed, flattered, or attracted—as I did angry."

"Angry?"

"I think in that moment I finally understood why all of you reacted the way you did all those times, with the onsen and everything else. When you're just being grabbed at and pawed, and your dignity is compromised by someone who should know better—well, let's just say the fight or flight reaction becomes a lot easier to understand. If I can transmit that to her, that just might be a breakthrough."

Naru held back how much that statement of simple understanding made her love him all the more.

"There's a couple of problems there. One, Su never hit you out of modesty. Kicking you was the equivalent of hugs for her. I think she caught on to your durability faster than the rest of us. I mean, she once asked me-----ehhhhhh---"

"Go on."

"She asked me and Motoko, while you were away with Seta, if she should send you some photos of her like the ones of the girls in your magazines. She figured if you liked those strangers, you'd love seeing a good friend that way. I should also say---she slept in your room a lot. Maybe we should have seen Molmol coming."

Keitaro was very glad he'd been half a world away when Motoko heard that particular request.

"You said a couple of problems?"

"The second one is even simpler---"

She got up and held him close.

"----it's one thing to understand our embarrassment. But there are no valid lessons to be had from a bunch of cowardly bullies."

"Bullies?"

"Hey, you're talking to the Chief Bully here, okay? What, a woman can't be a bully?"

He pulled her even closer.

"You were also the first of the wariest ones to give me a real chance."

They said no more, but Keitaro realized anew that his love's self-confidence still lagged far behind her physical strength.

Downstairs, the hardest lesson any of them would ever teach began in earnest. Su looked very nervous.

"Kaolla Su, we will first demonstrate why we were upset with your keeping knowledge of your heritage from all but myself, who was bound by an oath of silence."

Naru and Keitaro started at the last part, but knew Motoko would keep to an oath, so let it go to keep focus on Su. Motoko pointed.

"You have entered my family's shrine. Not the public shrine we maintain, but the true shrine. It's entrance looks like an ordinary storage room. You were not told of this, and nor were you told that, upon entry, you must shave your head."

Su grabbed at her locks.

"My---hair?"

Motoko nodded.

"Japanese law allows this—or rather it does in this hypothetical example. However, let us also suppose that I decide whether or not this rule can be waived."

"Will you waive it for me, Motoko? I don't want to lose my hair."

Motoko placed her palm on Su's forehead, pushing the visible hair back and covering it.

"All of you have very pretty hair. I wish to impress Urashima, so I will keep my hair on while forcing all of you to be bald and wear formal wigs of great quality."

"But that wasn't what I did. I never shaved your heads."

Shinobu cut in.

"Su, do you remember how Kanako would tie us up and leave us inside of barrels?"

"Yeah. I hated that. That's why I made sure the jail I put all of you in was so comfortable. I would never throw my friends into some old cramped barrels. But no one appreciates that."

Shinobu was both trying to forgive her friend and also earn her forgiveness. Both goals seemed remote in the face of exasperating statements like that. Reasoning that her beloved Sempai kept on in the face of savage beatings that didn't kill him, she also kept on.

"Su, that it was comfortable didn't matter. It could have been more comfortable than your own royal chambers, and it still would have been a jail. You deprived us of our freedom, pursued Seta-Sama and Sarah—your best friend in the whole world—like fugitives—and no matter how comfortable you made it, it was still a jail. In the situation Motoko is describing, you wouldn't want to shave your head, no matter how good the rest of it was. One jail can be nicer than another. But it is still a jail. Worse, we hadn't done anything wrong. So we were stuck in a place that we didn't deserve to be so one friend could force her will on another."

Shinobu felt the fury rise again, and very nearly ended her helpfulness.

"You tried to ra----"

"Shinobu! That is enough!"

"Sempai, that is what she did. Why call it something else when a woman pushes herself on a man at gunpoint?"

Keitaro let Naru take point.

"The ladies in this house have done enough instant assumption of intent and malice to last us several lifetimes, Shinobu. Most of us never gave Keitaro a chance to explain properly. But we're going to give it to Su. What she did was wrong. But to say she meant to hurt Keitaro without hearing it from her is also wrong."

Su seemed horrified.

"Hurt Keitaro? I would never ever hurt him—I love him, and I still want to marry him. Why would you think I would hurt him?"

Motoko knew she was walking into a minefield, and this she did gladly for Su. Still, the subject of sex was not entirely a comfortable one for her.

"Su, when Naru found you on the airship, what were you doing?"

"Taking off his underwear. He lost the strip chess match."

Shinobu painfully bit back a sarcastic question about the fairness of that match. Motoko continued.

"What were you planning to do, once Urashima was nude before you?"

Su now seemed excited.

"I was going to make him really happy! Guys like it when you su---"

"Yes. Yes they do. But how could you not realize that Urashima did not want such attention from you?"

"Hmmm---he always acts like that. But men always have it on their minds, it is the whole of their existence, they plot and plan and ponder every last hair on their bodies eternally, all for the prospect of holding a woman down, or in their wishful fantasies, being held down by a woman, if not several women. Their brains are hard-wired for this purpose alone."

Su was still smiling, and looking directly at Motoko. Then, everyone else looked at Motoko, who gulped.

*Wonderful. My words on a just ruler, she lets slip away. But she remembers a tirade like that.*

"Kaolla Su—did you get this idea from Kitsune?"

"Sort-of. But her idea was for Naru to catch her doing it. And if she hit Keitaro down there—well, guys don't like that at all. Besides, Kitsune could never go through with it."

Even Mutsumi was shaken from her anemic slumber by that.

"I just had the strangest dream. You won't believe what someone said."

Naru asked the obvious question.

"Su—why do you believe that Kitsune wouldn't---try to make Keitaro really happy that way?"

Su looked thrown by the question.

"Because Kitsune's like the rest of you. She doesn't really want to marry or be with Keitaro. Only I do."

Two minutes into the silence that followed, a cricket was heard. It met a nasty end at the flat of Shinobu's skillet.

* * *

Mitsune looked hard at the woman who had been the fox.

"You're a---"

"Bright girl, aren't we? That would be from which side of the family?"

Mitsune snatched back the photo that had been the whole point of the chase.

"Why did you take this?"

Mockingly, the fox-woman stroked her cheek.

"Aww, poor-baby. Tell ya what, kid—before we part company, I'll give you a special photo of mine, in exchange."

Mitsune (for the moment, she felt distinctly uncomfortable with her nickname) pushed her off.

"Lady, I have had the worst day of my entire life. Every last one of my friends turned on me. I don't need your crap piled on top of it."

The trickster-spirit laughed lightly.

"Let's take that one point by point. Keitaro—what did he do?"

"He—he hit me."

The real hurt in her voice seemed to give the woman some pause, but not very much.

"You were swinging wild at him, and you'd knocked off his glasses. That's not even allowing for the thousand or so times you swatted him good for falling into a pair of boobs you shove him into anyway, just for fun. Do you people have any idea how much of the cosmic community aches for him to just pound on you bunch?"

"Ummm—they care about us that much?"

"Well, it's divided between you and the realities dominated by the Misaki household. That girl with the devil-tail is also catching some attention of late."

Konno felt a headache coming on.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. And as for your cosmic pervs, let 'em wait. Keitaro isn't like that. He's decent, kind of sweet---"

"A fact you've exploited on how many occasions, exactly? Tell me, chickie, when you missed or dodged or rubbed your way out of nine or so rent payments, did you ever bother to think where he was finding the means to deal with the shortfalls?"

It had hit her, in odd moments. Usually, she'd just have another drink to forget it.

"I never asked him to pay for me. I'm not a---I'm not."

The fox-woman was not impressed.

"The difference between you and a—'I'm Not' – is that they put out the fire they light. So do tramps. Did you ever so much as think of how much more nervous the poor schlub got from your rub-downs, leaving him in Naru and Motoko's tender clutches? Did you know that one of the worst beatings he ever got was when Motoko spotted the bulge you left him with? Jeez, kid. Even the lowest spirit I know would have at least helped him even some of those out in private, even minus pop and play."

"He added on months of debt with no warning."

"Place of business, kid. You want a responsible position? Take care of the bouncing baby debt you abandoned. As to no warning? Howzabout the picture I didn't steal? The one where two of the most uptight people in all of Human history finally unwound in private, only to find they were on Kitsune Camera?"

When she was done, and Mitsune did not respond, the fox-woman kept on.

"Let's go to Shinobu."

"Let's not. I could see in her eyes, hear in her voice what my lie did. Ok?"

"Ok. That one you get. But Su didn't turn on you. You just ran afoul of the square Earth dimension that is Molmolian law. Believe me, anytime I have to deal with one of their spirits or gods, I get hives. Mutsumi, Kanako, Sarah, Seta, Haruka—all not present and accounted for. Which leaves two favorites."

"Motoko was right there with me in Molmol. Maybe I kept her out of the loop on some of the details---"

"---like dropping the dime on the others when you got re-captured, and setting up that recruitment pardon thing? You know, you could have just talked Su down at that point--"

The fox-woman leered.

"---but you wanted to play the villain, and now that you're being treated like one, it's no fun, is it?"

"Say what you like. But Motoko changed sides and jumped to Naru, just like she accused me of doing."

The trickster unnervingly shifted to Motoko's form, and spoke in her voice.

"I'm not perfect, Kitsune. None of us are, and no one is asking you to be. But if for no other reason than your friends are deeply angry with you, apologize for making a larger mess out of one already quite large enough."

She shifted back to the form that was a little too much like Mitsune's own.

"Samurai Girl doesn't have the strongest legs to stand on in this, and she admits it. Seta, Kanako? Not to mention that scheming little Hina herself? All skating on by, at least as concerns local wrath. On points, you got the charges beat, kid. But your cumulative actions finally unleashed a perfect firestorm. You forgot the first best rule of a Kitsune, of any trickster."

"Which is?"

"Always do the unexpected. You got caught and skinned, and boiled in the pot to make fox stew, because finally, all the sleazy rubdowns, all the whispers, all the ignoring Su's antics to see how far they'll go, all the set-ups, and yes, all the debts finally demanded to be addressed. Everything has a spirit, Mitsu—even debts, and particularly here in Japan, those spirits don't always play fair. You fell into a rut. Tricksters aren't always slacker leeches, or even lovably irresponsible types with a great rack. To keep our friends on our side, and the fates from turning on us, we do community service. The best tricksters get their friends and family out of as many situations as they get them into—maybe more. Isn't it better to be the one owed than the debtor?"

Mitsune did not like being brought to task one bit. But her words made sense.

"Are you saying I've gotten predictable?"

"I'm saying you've become a cartoon character. A deed? Better initiate a wacky scheme. Uh-oh. Wacky scheme brings in Titan Girl to punch you into the next episode. Little Girl with a basket full of dreams? Perfect cog—till she hits you with a frying pan. In one motion, you go from Kitsune to Tom The Cat. And that sake? What are you, Barney Rubble with the pizza pie? You stole from a hyper-active Samurai who until recently, expressed her love for a man by regularly threatening to neuter him? Before that, how many dodged chores, stockings and sweaters, panties—when you wear them?"

A book materialized in the Kitsune's hand.

"You want the real cost of your predictability spelled out? Read this."

Mitsune dropped the book as it was handed to her, in complete shock.

"That's Keitaro's private journal! I can't read that."

The Kitsune sighed, and blanked all but three pages.

"There. But—heh---that one dream he had about Mutsumi, Naru and Shinobu attending him wearing only Hadaka Aprons would have kept you warm at night."

Still hesitant, and feeling like she was again betraying her common sense, Mitsune read words that would haunt her for many years.

**Inside, she's as sweet as any of the others, and how could I not notice that body? I wish I could be one-half as free as Kitsune. I say one-half because some of the only times they're all not pissed off with me is when they're pissed off with her. But unlike me, she makes it work and makes it look damn good. Auntie flatly warned me not to ever cover one of her shortfalls ever again, but how can I let a friend be shown the street?—and she is my friend, like they all are. For all the punches and slams and aspersions, I have never been closer to anyone in my life than these crazy ladies. If it all ended tomorrow, and if I never found that one girl for certain, I could still leave this world happy.**

She smiled for the first time all that day.

"You go, sweet stud."

It would not last.

**I know she does things that make everyone crazy. But in this life, we all have so little room to stand in judgment over another. Yet some things get to me. That one time she told Su and Shinobu they'd hit the arcades by the waterfront, then slept in from too much imported schnapps. I didn't have enough to cover it and her current shortfall. Motoko said I was weak for even trying to do so—and then, maybe for the first time ever, apologized for saying it. Handling Su's disappointment had put her on edge, she said. Narusegawa was on the verge of shaking Kitsune up—but Shinobu begged her not to. Narusegawa actually confided in me---Me!---that there were times she was ready to give up on her dearest friend. Of course, she then promptly threatened me into never mentioning that. I hate saying this, but there are times Narusegawa can be well---difficult.**

"Geez, Keitaro—it's your own private journal. You're allowed to say 'she can be a bitch'. Except you never would, would you?"

**On occasion, I think outside the dreams of my childhood. Could I earn Motoko's respect enough to make it happen? Could I get addicted to adrenalin in a life on a roller-coaster with Su (Older than now, of course)? Age aside, could I ever be the kind of super-man I see reflected in the eyes of my sweet lovely Shinobu? I think that in all those instances, I could. The challenge would move me to the first. Going with the flow for the first time in my life would pull me in the second. And for those eyes, I would rise to move mountains. Thing with Kitsune is, whatever I may feel for her, I know it's completely unreciprocated. I'm reminded of that every time she rubs up against me or goes out of her way to fluster me. I know then. I could win over Narusegawa, and adjust to life with a beauty almost as clumsy as me, and all the rest I've mentioned.**

"Please, No."

**But in Kitsune's case, she's just playing with the horny nerd. I get these thoughts when she's up against me like that. But I know that even if I asked her to hit the futon, she'd set me up, use it to re-negotiate or even negate her debt, or worst of all—just laugh. A girl as hot and fun as her has no use at all for someone like me. Not that I want to abandon my dream, or that I would ever have the boldness to ask her, but even allowing for all that, it's not even the pipe dream that say Motoko is. That sweet cooing she does when she gets me really good drives me wild, like Narusegawa's strength and focus, Motoko's grace, Su's wildness, Mutsumi's innate calm, or well---forgive me, Kami---just Shinobu being herself. I know who I want most of all, but if I step outside that dream, I can glimpse other dreams. Just not for Kitsune, and that makes me feel bad, till I realize again that I will never mean as much to her as she does to me. I don't even know if she truly considers me a friend, at times. If that's in doubt, then there is not even a possibility of anything between us…**

Mitsune felt the book fall from her hands as she spoke aloud the last visible words.

"---and in many respects, we may as well be strangers."

"Do you want some more? He goes on to say how maybe he was too harsh."

Mitsune threw the book at the trickster, who sent it back to where it came from.

"How cruel can you be?"

"That---you'll find out a little later. But as for right now, well, you had wanted to know why Keitaro Urashima never seriously looked in your direction, and now you have that answer."

Mitsune felt herself falling apart inside. She was a little girl being lied to. She was a friend, tied up and helpless. She was a loyal sort, watching that loyalty constantly abused.

"He doesn't take Mitsune Konno seriously because that's exactly how Kitsune wants it."

As she cried, the woman held her, and for some reason, despite how cruel she had been, this felt right to Mitsune.

* * *

Out of respect, Shinobu allowed Motoko to challenge Su's incredible statement, but it was a close call.

"Kaolla Su, many of the troubles that beset us now arose from a competition for the hand of Keitaro Urashima. How can you say that only you truly wished to have him?"

The princess shrugged.

"Sure, we all competed. But I was the only one who wanted to end the competition. It was all getting a little old. After all those years of us having sex with Keitaro, I felt I had to let him know I wanted to be his wife."

Keitaro's face blanked.

"Su—we never did that. Never. No-Not—In Any Way---"

He felt his hand squeezed.

"Calm down, honey. I believe you."

Naru's affirmation had occurred almost as quickly as had her rages, not so long ago. The sickly girl was trying her best to overcome her last remaining illness. Still, she couldn't help but turn some of her rage on Kaolla Su.

"That's not funny, Su! Even Kitsune wouldn't pull a prank like that."

Motoko hated this, but chimed in.

"Kaolla Su—I have kept a close eye on Urashima for all his time here, particularly as regarded you and Shinobu. I am no longer proud of that fact, but it means that I know for a certainty that you and he have never been together in that way. I kept to my oath, when I swore not to tell of your heritage. You could at least do me the courtesy of not lying."

"I AM NOT LYING! And we all had sex with Keitaro. Not just me."

Shinobu once more found herself about to say something they would all regret. But Kitsune's absence reminded her that a friend could be lost forever, even when a word or action was justified. So she took another tack, and made as wild a guess as her brain would allow.

"Su---when you say sex, do you mean like when Sempai falls into the onsen with us?"

Shinobu felt like she was reaching into another dimension of time and space, but it was a reach that worked.

"Yes—of course. We all practice safe sex, so none of us get pregnant or sick. But I wanted something more."

Mutsumi leaned over and whispered to Shinobu.

"How did you figure that out?"

The young girl shrugged.

"I knew that, if we wanted to find out where Su was at, we had to think like Su. Only now—my head hurts."

Keitaro picked up, since Su still seemed upset with Motoko's accusation.

"That wasn't sex of any kind, Su. I was clumsy or stupid, and the other girls hit me out of concern for their safety—and to keep with tradition. A grown man is not supposed to bathe with or look at young women bathing. I never liked how much they did it, but my presence did break the rules. And you were concerned too—after all, you kicked me to get out of there, just like Sarah hit me with---errr—irreplaceable pieces of history."

Su seemed honestly stunned to be having this conversation.

"Sarah loves you like crazy. She said most guys your age are too cool for their own good. I know what everybody said. But they don't mean it. They said Keitaro had to go despite Grandma, but he stayed. Motoko said she wanted to mount his thing on the wall—and then later she said she just wanted it mounted—I don't remember how. Naru said she couldn't stand him but studied with him. Shinobu said he's a jerk and made her cry, but their love is as beautiful as his and Naru's love is wonderful. I touch him with my feet. Motoko touches him with her weapons, and what greater honor for a samurai to bestow? Naru touched him with her fists, until she got the same idea I did—and nobody has her on trial. Him and Shinobu see each other naked, shriek and then run off and think about what they saw."

She was becoming almost evangelical in her fervor as she continued.

"Mutsumi laughs at the things he does, and falls on him. Auntie hides her smile from him, but she always had one for him. Kitsune leans right up against him, but she's more afraid of getting pregnant than any of us—I think her folks weren't expecting her."

Naru cut in.

"Su—Kitsune has tons of experience with men."

"No she doesn't. I calculated it once. If Kitsune were with as many guys as she always says, she would have been pregnant twelve times by now."

Whether she was deliberately sidetracking them or if her chaotic nature was to blame, Motoko knew that she had to drag Su back on topic.

"Su? Do you accept that jailing your friends is wrong?"

"No. As a member of the ruling family of Molmol, I have that right."

Shinobu looked at Motoko, who nodded. The younger girl had gotten through to Su before.

"Su—how long were we going to be in that jail for?"

"Not long. In fact, as soon as Keitaro agreed to marry me, everyone would have been pardoned."

Shinobu really, almost painfully fought down the urge to shove the intricacies of the meaning of 'Pardoned' and its implications down Su's throat. She fought her friend, not harder but smarter.

"And what if he never gave in? What if Sempai Naru hadn't gotten there? What if, for the rest of his life, he told you no, and said that he would never recognize your edict? What would have happened to us, Su? If Sempai Keitaro had just kept refusing, how long were you prepared to keep us---including Motoko—in that jail?"

"Not forever. I would have---I would have gotten you separate cells. Even more comfortable. I gave up my game, didn't I?"

A silent agreement to bypass any subject but the ones at hand passed through the others. Keitaro wondered how many times this day would call on him to hurt those he loved best of all.

"Su—I love Naru and I'm going to marry her. She's agreed to this. I was not going to marry you, and certainly never at gunpoint, and I would have instructed Kanako to return and blow up the Sou before letting you take it to Molmol. Not because I hate you. I don't. I love you. But the Sou's place is here, and my place is with Naru. I know you didn't intend to hurt anyone, but that is exactly what you did. A day, a week, a month---it doesn't matter. Being held against your will, whether out of love or as part of a game you meant to be fun, is no fun at all."

He was scared right then as well. The situation with Kitsune had blown up, and Shinobu had been something of a near miss, if not for Alice's words to her. The situation with Su was teetering on the edge.

"But I'm the only one who wanted to marry you. Everyone else just talked around it. Naru would have found another reason for you to not be together, or someone else she thought was better for you. Shinobu loves having a sempai too much to make you her husband. Kanako---welll—I think she's insane or something. Kitsune's too lazy and scared to ask you. Mutsumi might want to, but she faints all the time. Motoko can't figure you out to see clearly enough. Marry me, Keitaro. Naru will back out again. Just like always."

Naru did not want to be cruel to this child. But she felt compelled to lean in close to Keitaro as she responded.

"No. Never again."

Sensing some movement but also a dead end on this subject, Motoko moved to notch things up.

"Urashima, Shinobu—stand ready."

The two friends stood, and exchanged hand squeezes before starting. Motoko stood with them and held her sword to his throat.

"Kaolla Su? Was it alright to place Urashima under fire, including rockets and grenades?"

"Yes. Of course. He's immortal. Weapons can only stun him."

"But what if I cut off his head?"

Keitaro focused on the need to help Su, rather than his discomfort.

"Would I still live? Would I die? I don't even know that I really am immortal, or what kind of immortality I have if I do."

Motoko nodded.

"Imagine my sword is a bouncing shell fragment, angled just so and finding the chink in the armor of his neck."

Su's eyes started to go wide, and so the iron was struck again as Shinobu spoke.

"I am a prisoner on the Molmol airship. I demand to speak to my friend, Princess Kaolla Su."

Mutsumi and Naru stood up and made gun-shapes with their hands.

"Click-Click! I am Sergeant Naru and cannot let you near the Princess."

"No. I've gone crazy from being locked up. I will rush the cell door and run all the way to the Bridge. I don't like this game, no one ever told me it was a game, and I think my friend might have gone crazy, and needs my help."

"Click-Click! I am Major Mutsumi, and I say get back into your cell or be shot."

"I don't want to hurt Su. Just talk to her. But I won't stop. I'm too upset to hear you."

Naru and Mutsumi looked at Su.

"What are our primary orders?"

"Yes, Princess Royal—what is the primary duty of a royal bodyguard?"

"To—to protect the royal family at all costs."

Motoko added on.

"Are their guns loaded with real bullets?"

"Y-yes."

Mutsumi looked at Shinobu.

"Will you stop, and return to your cell?"

"No, Major. I am going to burst in that room and yell like a maniac at my friend. I might even threaten her, though I wouldn't mean it."

Naru shook her head.

"Then we must protect the princess, since we cannot know whether or not you mean it. Princess, perhaps we should threaten the prisoner Urashima with her execution, unless he marries you?"

"NO! I just want him to agree."

"But I'll never agree, Su, and now the game is out of anyone's control."

The play-acting would soon demand a terrible but necessary price. Keitaro spoke.

"Stop this game now, Su—or I will hate you."

Shinobu spoke.

"Stop this game now, Su. Or I will hate you."

Naru shot her 'gun' at Keitaro's neck. Mutsumi shot hers at Shinobu's chest, then spoke as both fell on the floor.

"Princess, we have neutralized the terrorists who threatened you."

"no—No they didn't threaten me!"

Naru shook her head.

"They said they hated you. We couldn't take the chance—and now they're gone."

Mutsumi then 'shot' Naru, who joined the others on the floor.

"She infiltrated the ship and started screaming. In all the endless gunfire, I was shot as well."

Mutsumi this once went on the floor of her own free will. Motoko held up her sword.

"Kaolla Su—I have heard the gunfire and must rush the Bridge. Your guards are trigger-happy, sworn to protect you—and I will burst in crying out. What will happen to me?"

"You—you'll die."

"But you didn't mean for me to die. Won't that protect me?"

The lovely girl burst forward, hugging Motoko.

"NO---not my Motoko-Chan! Not Keitaro! Not Shinobu! It didn't happen that way."

Naru now got up.

"Su, guns and bullets don't care about your intent, and your guards' job is not to care about anything but keeping you alive. A jail cell is always a jail cell, a place for enemies that have hurt you, not friends you want to keep out of a game, or even away from someone you want as your boyfriend."

Su nodded.

"I understand now."

Shinobu felt pure joy.

"You do?"

Keitaro hugged her.

"That's wonderful."

Motoko sat down, close to exhausted.

"Excellent, Kaolla Su. Tomorrow, we shall begin a series of lessons that…"

"No, Motoko. No more lessons. I now understand that I can never understand my friends and the world they live in well enough—and that I must leave Japan and return to Molmol—forever. Rather than have you hate me ever again, I must go."

Once more, Su had stunned the assembled group enter an extended silence. Because barring a miracle, they had gambled and lost a dear friend.

* * *

Mitsune awoke in the arms of the Kitsune. She didn't feel like the woman (did that even really apply to spirit-shifters?) had touched her or harmed her. Oddly, it even felt like she never would, however mean-spirited her verbal assault had been—and Mitsune Konno had seen more than a few of those.

"You tear my soul to pieces, then cuddle with me?"

"Not cuddled. I cradled you. Important distinction. It's something I've always wanted to do."

Mitsune remembered the missiles this trickster had shot through her psyche, and pulled away.

"Hey, whatever gives you your kicks, right? You, lady-or-whatever are like every last thoughtless comment everyone ever made about me mixed into one rice bowl—and I mean no spices, oils, cheeses or nothing—and it's that weak Uncle Ben's stuff they had at that cheap hotel Keitaro put us up at---that he paid for by himself and I shouldn't bring up before I get another beatdown, right?"

The shift in the trickster's demeanor now seemed total.

"Like I said, you're a bright girl. Mitsu—we don't have much time. I have to conclude with a few things."

"More drills taken to my gut? What, are you gonna make me sterile next, so my evil ways don't get passed on?"

"Actually—I'd like your promise to let me visit you, when you have children someday. I know they'll be great kids."

"Hey! No problem. You want me to get Shinobu to cook them up for you—or do you like your babies raw?"

The Kitsune nodded.

"I deserve that. In fact, I deserve far worse than you know—yet."

The trickster was trying, but her prior attacks were not easily forgotten.

"Can we conclude our business? I'm no scholar like Naru---"

"Because you've never tried to be."

"Yeah, right. I do know that you don't just end your business with spirits abruptly."

The Kitsune shook her head at Mitsune, who would only later realize she had in fact given the trickster the permission she wanted.

"We're almost done. I have to ask—is the Forbidden Annex at the Sou still sealed off?"

"It's gone. It finally fell apart. Not that I ever believed all that hooey."

The trickster now herself looked puzzled.

"You're talking to a fox-spirit. You're sweet on an immortal, who's engaged to a titan. The most normal girl you know can summon an iron skillet to her hand without realizing it. So what is a forbidden annex in that light?"

"Not what I meant. I meant the rushing passions part. Grandma told the story of two men who suddenly fell in love in there. Just struck me as slightly homophobic, and Grandma was never that sort. I knew she knew people—discrete about it, maybe, but I never knew her to look down on anyone—except maybe me."

"She never looked down on you. She was just disappointed in you. And that was spot-on about the two guys. That was something Little Hina told to throw off her more conservative guests. Ones who were more open on matters just laughed it off the way you did. Clever little thing, our Hina. But then if she wasn't clever, she would never have captured me. She made me cast the spell sealing that old annex to win my freedom."

Mitsune did some math that didn't add up.

"That spell was cast centuries ago."

"Sorry, kid. More like twenty years ago, give or take two or three."

"What does this have to do with us parting ways?"

"Getting there. Be patient. Now where was I?"

Patient was something Mitsune was not feeling, but she also knew she had no choice as the trickster kept on.

"You said it was almost twenty years ago you cast the spell. So if it isn't sealing away some ancient three-headed whatever, why was the spell cast?"

"See, kid—the fates heard a challenge uttered. A challenge that proclaimed that the parties to this challenge would overcome absolutely anything, in the pursuit of a dream."

Mitsune snorted.

" Maniacs planning world domination? Salarymen wanting their own diverse persona harem? Otakus wanting success as a mangaka?"

The trickster may have turned gentler, but it was clear she delighted in her next words.

"No. It was three kids, the oldest barely four. And the promise was to one day enter Tokyo University together."

Mitsune felt her own spirit almost leave her body. She tried to joke.

"Boy, what are the odds that two sets of kids made that exact same oath at precisely the same time at the exact same place----crap."

"Kid, you had better odds on the ponies. So I had to make the annex a repository for fate's most direct efforts to destroy those kids. Nasty stuff."

"Did—did Grandma catch you just to make you do that?"

The trickster now had a look that Mitsune felt on her own face when cornered by Naru and the others.

"I wish you wouldn't call her grandma—but I get it. No, she went out and caught me because of the single lowest thing I ever did. This will tell you how cruel I can be, Mitsune. After, I'll give you what I promised and move on. Try to forgive me. It had to be this way. Because of how both of us lived our lives. I had to go harsh on you—a lot harsher than I wanted to. The others would have done it themselves, and whatever I did---"

"Just tell me your story."

Again, a look of shame from one formerly so brassy was an eerie mirror to Mitsune as the trickster spoke.

"Hina attended a wedding of a couple from a family she was acquainted with. Several months prior, this nice young couple met me. We palled around, and I took a fancy to the groom. But I cared for the bride, too—she had been my friend. To prove that, we took pleasure in exchanging catty remarks about our appearances. Usually I came out on top—experience will out. One day she got me---I'm not used to that. I mean, she got me good. So I changed my standard Human appearance to hers—and hooked up with her husband."

Mitsune wasn't liking this story at all.

"Over a comment? And don't bring up the deed to the Sou again."

"I won't. Because a piece of land is actually an understandable goal compared to my reasons. So months after this one-night stand, I show up at the wedding—with the results of that encounter. She knew her man had been duped by an expert, but it still created distance between her, him—and the child they kept as their own. After that stunt, there are yokai who won't deal with me anymore. Hina felt outraged, and tricked me into entering a fox fur farm. Literally to save my skin, I had to give in to her. I tried apologizing to the people who had been my friends. They wouldn't hear from me, and they did not let me see my child. I have two worlds I am never welcome in."

Mitsune turned away as though getting something, though not on a conscious level.

"Just like I have my folks and now the people at the Sou, right? But Naru has Keitaro, and she gets a pardon for all the stuff she's pulled."

"Not from herself she doesn't. Her love for that man will grow every day she's alive. And every other day—she will recall, however briefly, how she once treated him—and how she hasn't always been a little treasure in other instances. This will cause her pain and shame that even I probably can't understand. But it's okay. Keitaro will make it his mission to make her forgive herself. Be there for that, Mitsu. Maybe you'll get a love like that, but even if you don't, there is beauty and joy in just witnessing it. I could have. Maybe I'd be an Auntie, instead of a non-entity to that little baby—formerly little."

An envelope materialized in the trickster's hands.

"This is the photo I promised when we started. Open it up when you like."

Mitsune shook her head.

"I'm not dumb. I think I know what's in there."

"But you have to know for sure, don't you?"

The fox-woman vanished quickly, and Mitsune Konno headed back to the only home she had, for however long that might be. Just shy of the Hinata-Sou, she stopped, sat, and gave in to a curiosity that would never be quite as sharp ever again.

"Please. So predictable. Magical Photoshop."

Yet she couldn't take her eyes off the twenty-plus year old photo.

"I mean, let's not mince words. She was a Kitsune. It's not a word without meaning. Their games are legendary. Like any mortal grifter, she spotted a mark and played her for fun and profit."

She was talking entirely to herself, and not caring.

"If I allow myself to fall for this, I am as prize a chump as I ever accused Keitaro of being."

The photo started to crumple in her anxious hands.

"To her, it's all just a prank. To her---"

Her tears began anew, and she sobbed openly.

"---it's all just one big joke."

The picture now on the ground showed the Human form of the Kitsune, along with the young couple who were soon to become Mr. and Mrs. Konno, parents to a daughter they always seemed anxious around, even when she had been well-behaved. The girl learned from this that it often didn't matter how you behaved—the goody-goody often got punished along with the naughty ones. Had this attitude reminded her parents of that earlier betrayal, increasing the distance between them? Or was she being played by someone cagey enough to move her along into jumping to conclusions?

Mitsune Konno, who would be a good while before once more using her well-known nickname, didn't know the answer to this. She only knew that she felt like hell, and that she wanted to go home. Just outside the door to that home, she stopped, and thought about what she might say. She also heard all those wonderful difficult friends of hers going through a hell of their own.

* * *

"Su, you can't leave!"

Shinobu felt responsible for this. She had ripped into the exasperating but loving princess with a vengeance after their imprisonment in Molmol.

"We don't want you to go."

Naru felt responsible for this. Maybe Kitsune had been right, she thought, and her pursuit of old dreams had given her an unfair advantage, making a girl like Su believe she had to go all-out to even stand a chance with Keitaro.

"Please. Stay. For your Onii-Chan?"

Keitaro felt responsible for this. He wondered if he just should have been more patient with a girl he secretly thought of as a wonder of the modern world.

"You have passed our tests. More lessons must follow, but you have shown that you can recognize right from wrong in the ways that we ask. Do not leave our lives. Do not leave mine."

Motoko did not feel responsible—in her mind, she *was* responsible. That it had come this far was a disgrace as great as lying to her sister about entering University at Todai. Only Mutsumi kept silent, feeling as sad as the others but for the moment, having nothing to add as Su responded.

"You've all said that you don't hate me. That you hate what I did. But in Molmol, we are taught that a person is their actions. They cannot be separated. If I made you this angry once, I could do so again, and then you might even really hate me, and I can't bear that thought. Please don't ask me to."

Shinobu shook her head.

"Su, we hated those things you did because we love you, and we couldn't reconcile the two. We were afraid that either you really were that way, or that you somehow could never understand why we were upset. You've proven that you care about us. You just didn't understand the connection between all these things. That's all we needed to know."

Su was still despondent.

"But that's just it, Shinobu. I don't understand any of that on an important level. I know I'm missing something. I hate that. I usually just know whatever I need to know. I can't even start Motoko's new lessons without this thing. It would be like entering a room before the house is even built."

The lobby door's opening could not have been more dramatic, even though, for once in her life, Mitsune Konno had no intention of making a big entrance.

"I think I can help with that."

Nobody was challenging her presence or making snarky remarks just yet, so she did not stop.

"Su—you just have to accept that, just because you can do something, doesn't always mean you should. In fact, a lot of times, you really probably shouldn't. 'Because I Can' is fun, and it leads to great things. But it also can lead to hurt people and hurt feelings."

She looked directly at Naru, who nearly choked up from the blatancy of the simple message : I now understand. She looked back at Su.

"You have to accept that, just because a situation is comfortable and easy for you, it may still not be to everyone's liking. A lot of times, someone will be nice and keep doing things for you, wondering when you're going to realize you're pushing things too far."

She looked at Keitaro as she kept on.

"It can even cause someone to think that you weren't interested in being an even closer friend, when you're too busy playing your own game. You may end up missing a chance for something really nice, maybe forever."

His look and blush told her that he got the message. Mitsune turned back to Su.

"Su, there are certain things you never do to people, and especially not to your friends. They may forgive you, but you don't want them to have to. Even if you have every right in the world on paper to do it, certain things are always wrong, even if you meant no harm."

It was hardest for her to look at Shinobu, but she found that courage.

"You have to think of others, and how something you do might seem to them, or how it really is to them. Not always, and not for everybody, but certainly for your friends on most occasions. Now, did you radio ahead to Molmol while we were in transit, to tell them you were going to take Keitaro as your husband?"

"Yeah—actually I used a sat-phone. Was that wrong?"

"It's called an ambush. Did you know that miscommunication and an ambush attack helped start the Pacific War?"

No student of history, Mitsune still knew it was vastly more complicated than that. But for then and there, none challenged her representation, for it seemed to be getting through to Kaolla Su as none of them had.

"I know about the Pacific War. 4300 elite Molmolian Guard soldiers died turning Japan back. The Americans got snippy when we wouldn't let them have a base there, either. The Pacific War is why I was sent here—to see if both cultures had changed. And they have! Japan has instant ramen, and America has chili cheese fries!"

The princess would be a work-in-progress for some time to come. But Motoko seized the moment for all it was worth.

"Kaolla Su—do you understand what Kitsune has told you?"

No one saw Mitsune wince at the mention of her nickname, but she would address that quietly at another time.

"I do, Motoko! You can't just do anything you want, even when you think you might be able to. Why didn't any of you tell me that?"

Motoko smiled at the other friend she hoped was not leaving.

"Because—sometimes, in order to solve the riddle of the knot, you need not a scholar with a scroll but an Alexander with a sword to cut through it."

Mitsune smiled back.

"Alexander, huh? Well, I always wanted to play the hero."

Mitsune began her comeback, opening her arms in front of Shinobu, who characteristically bolted into them.

"I'm sorry—you were hurt, and I was so horrible."

She squeezed the girl hard.

"Hey—you were just handing back some of the poison I planted. Karma, ya know?"

Letting her go, she looked at Keitaro. He nodded, and put his hands behind his back.

"I'm ready."

He was expecting a punch for a punch. That was not what he got.

"I seriously doubt that."

She seized him by both sides of the head, and kissed him hard. Just to be sure, after releasing the stunned Keitaro, she winked at Naru.

"He's all yours. I just had to clear up an old misconception on his part."

She pulled his cheek.

"You, pal—are cute. And one more thing?"

When she bowed, Naru was briefly afraid of another type of kiss, but that fear was short-lived.

"Landlord Urashima-Dono, if your gracious offer to train me as Ryobo and work off my debts is still in effect, I choose to accept this now—with maybe another year of debt payment added on for all the local taverns. I—do not wish our grandmother's name to be associated with debt-skipping."

"I welcome you to the employ of our grandmother's inn, Konno-Chan. And—please forgive—"

"Ehhh! You were defending yourself. End of story. In fact, if someone ever swings at you like that again—including your young and lovely fiancée-you better hit back or I will clobber you---Manager-San."

Mitsune turned and gave a brief hug to Mutsumi.

"Are you here for good this time? I need an edge against these violence-prone women."

"Oh—I know how to deal with them. So how was that kiss?"

"Eh—like kissing your little brother—after he's gone all geek studly."

"I'm older than yo---oh the hell with it."

Motoko released Su from a tighter-than-normal embrace, and she and Naru faced the returned Mitsune directly. Mitsune opened her arms, and so did the women who were like her own sisters.

"I'm ready."

"As am I."

Mitsune calmly smiled, nodded, and pulled back both fists, driving them into her sisters' exposed faces, knocking them cold.

"I seriously doubt that."

Just as calmly, she picked the two up and laid them on the couch to recover. Only then did she sit down, as Keitaro checked on those she knocked out. She smiled at their resident chef.

"Shinobu—anything to eat? I'm starved!"

Next : Raiding The Icebox


	9. Chapter Eight Raiding The Icebox

**Chapter Eight - Raiding The Icebox**

* * *

HINATA-SOU, LATE DECEMBER 2000

Mutsumi Otohime had been at the Hinata-Sou long before all but two of its current residents, and yet she was also its newest resident. Her part in the fractious love affair between Keitaro Urashima and Naru Narusegawa could not have been more fundamental, and yet since her return, she had also been a tangential figure. This was understandable.

Of all who lived there, her ties to her family were likely the strongest of all, with nary a sign of strain or stress, and she was not only easily able to return home at any time, she was encouraged to do so, yet allowed to go back to the Sou whenever she saw fit. Arguably, there was nothing preventing Keitaro from visiting home, and Naru's strains with her family were never as great as for her to be truly unwelcome. Shinobu's parents were largely reconciled and talk of separation or divorce ended. Kitsune had been sent there as a pre-emption to true banishment, a safety valve meant to stop her leaving on the heels of a confrontation. Motoko's family shrine was open to her at any time. Wherever it was Su came from, she had mentioned missing it and her family, but never had she spoken about being unable to go back.

But Keitaro's parents, while loving their son still felt in a mostly unspoken way that his successful entry into Tokyo University stood somewhat in spite of them. While Naru had reconciled with her mother, stepfather and step-sister Mei, she had functioned so long without them, Keitaro intruding on the onsen (prior to their recent start as a couple) was more comfortable for her than dinner-table chit-chat at what had been home. Shinobu's parents argued to get along, and while for them, it was functional and healthy, to the young girl, it was a painful reminder of a time when her paternal grandmother had filled her head with nightmares of being bounced from relative to relative, divorce being unthinkable to the old woman. Kitsune had developed her freelance writing as a means of not calling back home and dealing with her parents' polite 'not-anxiety-dear' approach. For Motoko's part, she'd had a dream about the chance to go back home and face her sister—instead, she'd opted to carnally service Keitaro's two nameless college chums in the onsen while Kaolla Su churned out endless clones of Sama-Chan—one of whose back they used for their activities. Su in fact had plans to not only go home, but to merge her two homes and families into one, never quite realizing that it had always been the fluidity of their circle and locales that had made them special. Only Mutsumi had no qualifiers on her ability to make the trip between her two homes—which she already saw as one in any event.

Her second home had been the more interesting places to be of late, no questions asked. One storm had just passed, and another was starting to build, though there was not a cloud in the sky. That first storm went by the name of Kanako Urashima, sister of the man who had caused a shift in all their lives, a sudden and savage rival for his hand. But while she saw her adoption by the Urashimas as an out to one of the rules of civilized Human conduct, her brother had taken his early instructions to heart and thought of this girl first and last as his sister. Sadly for her, the love he had given her as such that caused her to fixate on him also made their love and marriage impossible in his eyes. Had he been any less a brother, the little girl, frightened after two successive adoptions, would never have fallen for him, but then he could have seen her outside of their familial relationship. Yet for all its complications, Mutsumi silently mused, the story of their love fit perfectly in with the atmosphere of the Hinata-Sou.

If Keitaro had elected to understand his sister's near-rampage through the lives of his charges at the Sou, most there were simply happy to see her go. Openly hostile to all her perceived rivals, she had played bizarre games with them as well using her eerie ability to mimic almost anyone at anytime with laser perfection. While one game involving speculation about her brother's physiology had been kind of fun (especially for Mutsumi, who normally would never be mistaken for a man), for the most part, it was a wearying exercise in figuring out her true motives and trying to deal with her mercurial behavior. In short, Su did not find her fun, Shinobu saw nothing of Keitaro in her, Kitsune found her agita-inducing, and Haruka was not all that delighted to see her niece. Secret instructions from Grandma not to rein the girl in had Haruka considering the unthinkable and telling the old woman to stuff her fabled tests—if in fact that was what it all had been. Nearing Thirty, Haruka still found that she was no more in the loop than was her cousin and nephew.

Mutsumi and Naru perhaps understood what it was like to be a little girl struck by the kindness of little Keitaro, and so lent her more understanding. Motoko respected an able fellow warrior, and was secretly glad her brother had been taught none of her techniques, almost as glad as she was that neither of their clans shared the superstition about unsheathing a sword without also drawing blood. Yet Motoko tried to be about method as much as power and Kanako's methods did not always sit well. For Naru's part, her lack of confidence when confronted by a rival perhaps made Kanako's activities seem bearable. Mutsumi saw a deep connection between Kanako and one of the residents—but that resident was not Keitaro, and this deeply confused her. Until Kanako moved to leave. The reason why she chose the one to do this in front of was as big a puzzle as her early motives had been.

"Exactly what part of go to hell were you failing to get?"

Kitsune turned away from an Urashima she had no mixed feelings about, only to find her already waiting at that turn. She did not look nor was she impressed.

"My Marine buddy said that, when his father faced the Vietcong, they would pull the same perspective trick you just did to stay out of sight in the jungle. Learned a way to beat it. Wait here, Kanako—I'll fetch a flamethrower."

The dark-aspected girl extended her hand.

"I wish us to be friends, Mitsune. I realize now that my approach left much to be desired."

"Huh. Tell me something I don't know."

"Very well. Your Marine used you as his 'beard' against his service's exclusionary rules, to avert suspicion of his true sexuality. That is why he, unlike other men, never objected to your refusal to…"

Kitsune's fist punched forward, as it had a million times at Keitaro and Haruka, real and imagined respectively. This was the first time in any such case it was a complete miss.

"Get out, Kanako. Your family name may get your step-cestuous stalker ass in that door, but I don't have to and don't want to talk to you."

"We are sisters, Mitsune."

"Why? Just because you lived here—past tense? NO! Those ladies are my sisters. As far as I'm concerned, you are the same as those barrels of gunpowder you tried to take us out with—except they had a longer fuse. Leave us be with the Urashima whose greatest crime is doing what a boy does best. How he's even your adopted brother is beyond me. But as much grief as I've given him, he rose up immeasurably in my eyes when he didn't choose his nutty sis!"

"He did not choose either of us. Mitsune, there is a connection between us you are failing to see. Like you, my parents often saw me as a source of anxiety they were better off placing in Grandma's care."

Kitsune snorted.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to make my folks the parents of both sides at the wedding. I never put up 'Tiger Beat' posters of my brother."

"No. You did that to mine. Little Sarah's camera caught quite a bit, didn't it? Kei-Kun's choice is no longer at issue, here. I am speaking to you, and I wish to be your friend."

Kitsune gave her the finger.

"Remember me? Tied up and tortured because you thought certain I was the promise girl?"

"There is a reason I felt certain it was you beyond age and timeframe. Besides, you did confess to loving my brother."

"Baka! I'd have confessed to being Jack Bauer to get you to stop. But there is something I do love and adore about Keitaro. The fact that, somehow, despite having a sister like you, he somehow turned out mostly normal. Lady, you are NUTS!!!!"

"I am crazy, as they say, like that proverbial animal. Will you allow me to expound on the connection between us?"

"Hey, sure thing. Just hold your breath till that happens, okay?"

With a genuinely sad look, Kanako folded into the shadows and vanished. Mutsumi turned to Kitsune.

"You know, I haven't been here all that long, either. At least not recently."

Kitsune smiled.

"Yeah, but you're for real, Mutsumi. A girl I regard as a real sister thinks the same of you, and that's good enough for me. The biggest pain you give me is being put in second place rack-wise, and that's just genetics."

"Mmm. Thanks. But maybe you could have been nicer to her? She was extending the hand of friendship—specifically to you."

"The only thing I'll ever do for her is thank her for showing me what a dream Keitaro is. I'll take a perv over a maniac any day. The perv wants to play with my boobs—and who can blame him? The maniac wants to play with my head—maybe while it's not even on me anymore."

Shinobu passed by as Kitsune added on a thought.

"I know its him and Naru from now on, but do you suppose a guy like Keitaro and a girl like me could ever----"

"No."

Shinobu barely caught Kitsune's glare as she kept on. Mutsumi noted the bitterness in both their aspects. Waxing hypothetical didn't really seem Kitsune-like, and casually adding on comments like that one didn't seem Shinobu-like.

In the living room/common area, Mutsumi saw Su standing in front of a flat-panel television screen. She caught sight of what looked like the image of a naked Naru pounding with abandon on an equally nude Keitaro. Su giggled at this oddity.

"Boy, you two really went at it."

Onscreen, the nude pair turned their heads at this, and stopped to ask if Su was there. Su visibly gulped, and shut her viewer off entirely. Only the sight of that same pair, clothed but kissing the day away in the open-door onsen entrance stopped Mutsumi from enquiring about the device. Given experience, Mutsumi knew that a Kaolla Su-invention that was shut off was a blessing that should not be questioned.

Mutsumi and Su stared at the new couple with a mix of delight and envy. Then, Mutsumi noticed that not only did Su's face contain a lot more envy than delight, that face had been joined by three others. Living on an island at the mercy of the ocean's moods, Mutsumi knew better than most how to read the vibe of the surrounding area for not just signs, but messages, almost to the point that she could read actual thoughts.

Motoko.

*My will is iron. That fool will occupy no more of my thoughts. But—do I occupy any of his?*

Kitsune.

*Look at him. All calm. She's letting him touch her chest, but the only heavy breathing is hers. Way to diagonally snake the serpent, Naru. Pretty sneaky, Sis.*

Su.

*Well, there you go again. Wonder if I could make her run off, this time? This has gotta end. I'll be 14 before too long, and the time for producing heirs—lots of them over lots of attempts---has to be taken into firm and serious considera---SQUIRREL!!*

Even Haruka.

*Little creeps—awaking something this in your old Auntie. Seta said he'd be in Hokkaido this weekend. Now he'd damn well better be.*

Shinobu.

*Sempais will be hungry soon. I should cook them something. What's that fish that you have to prepare just so, or its poison? No---be happy for them. Their kids will call me Auntie Shin---gee Mom, Auntie is so cute for a Christmas Cake—why didn't she ever get married? Why, dear, because your Mommy exploited a repressed childhood memory to fix the game. Now, be good and push old Auntie Shin around in her walker-chair. IDIOT! You could have a girl who'd kill to be with you, and you pick one who tries to kill you?*

There was a lot to be read in Shinobu's face. Just past the sunlight she was better able to see past than some, Mutsumi saw Kanako standing next to another shadow.

*Another chance will arise, Onii-Chan. You and I are never done.*

The other shadow moved around Kanako, who showed disdain.

"Yet more of your irresponsibility. Small wonder Mitsune disdains me as well."

The red, furry looking object moved away, and Kanako folded into shadows that somehow had her rejoining a Grandma anxious for a report.

Mutsumi saw all this, and realized that a second, more powerful storm would soon rock their world, and she wondered if that storm and its aftermath could possibly be powerful enough to blow away her second family. In eight months time, that storm would at last rise.

* * *

HINATA-SOU, AUGUST 17TH 2001

The storm had nearly passed, and though brief in duration, it would never be forgotten by any of them. The one who had done the most to bring this about was also the one who had taken the brunt, fairly or otherwise, of the storm, and she was also the one most ready and eager to move on from it. Mitsune Konno was very ready to write a new chapter in her life, but she had words aimed at her friends' hearts, for good and ill, and she would be heard.

"Care to explain what you just did?"

"That is, before we pass summary judgment?"

Mitsune calmly waved Keitaro off. Naru had her up against the wall, and Motoko had her sword against the prodigal daughter's throat. Despite this, she smiled.

"Wow, it's good to be back. If I have a regret, it's all those years I bet on dice, mahjong and horse races, when I could have bet on you two. I mean, do you even realize this is very nearly your reaction to everything?"

"We were ready to embrace you, and welcome you back, and you cold-cock us?"

"You should explain yourself and apologize immediately, Kitsune!"

"It's Mitsune. As for an apology, you got it, and this one's from the heart."

The angry pair let her free, her smile never leaving her face.

"I apologize---"

She turned away from the angry pair, and looked instead at her new boss.

"---to my brother, Keitaro Urashima. I'm sorry that it took me getting the treatment to show that it's no way to treat another Human being, especially someone you supposedly care about."

Her 'brother' seemed chiefly worried about the wrath of their 'sisters', even if he was not the target of said wrath.

"Ki—Mitsune, you did ambush them when they were glad to see you."

Su nodded, looking confused.

"And you just told me that ambushes are wrong."

Even if she was (temporarily?) dropping her nickname, Mitsune was still playing her own game.

"Keitaro was trying to defend himself, something I wish he'd done a lot earlier on. I think maybe his not doing it fed our worst tendencies, though we're all so full of it, it's really hard to tell if it would have made a difference. I made Shinobu cry, and that gets her a full pass. Su I gave some bad signals to, and it helped amp up what didn't need amping up."

She looked at Motoko.

"Stealing is always low. Would it help any if I said that I needed strong sake to sleep through the happy humpers going at it last night? I knew they'd be at each other, as soon as they got back from Todai Gate, and my social life is enough of a drag without hearing peals, squeals and moans. In short. Aoyoma-San, I am lately made pathetic, and in trying to drown that out, I did something even more pathetic. Would it also help if I said that you're going to see a change in me, and that, for whatever you can name and for a thousand things neither of us can remember, I'm sorry?"

Motoko met her gaze with eyes of steel, and Mitsune never once flinched. The warrior sheathed her sword, and this time successfully embraced her friend.

"I would have bought you a bottle, you know. Maybe shared it as we drowned our common sorrow."

"Nah—I owe plenty enough. But try and save that sword for the real thing, okay? And who's sorrowful? Our brother and sister have found each other. Last I checked, that's cause for a small party—very small in my case."

"A—heeee—m!"

Naru cleared her throat and shrugged.

"I may as well skip to the part where I forgive you."

But Mitsune held up an opened hand and shook her head.

"The hell you will. Hasn't it become obvious that you skipping over my pissing you off is what led you to throw down ultimatums?"

Naru looked confused.

"I always tell you when I'm upset. When have I ever held back on letting anyone know that?"

From her future husband to her oldest friend and on down to Su, absolutely everyone except Naru and Mitsune started looking away and whistling at that point.

"Hey! Well, that does prove my point."

"It proves that you tell them when you're really and truly upset—except for Su, who we all agreed to leave to Motoko."

Mitsune had meant no sarcasm, but her words caught Motoko like an honor dagger in the gut. For the edification and education of Kaolla Su had been left to her, and it was now a task she felt she had famously flubbed. In the excitement of Mitsune's return, she had willingly forgotten the grim task that awaited her.

"Su—my princess, we must talk alone in your room."

"But Motoko, this is getting good!"

"We must talk—about an important aspect of your new lessons."

Reluctantly, the ganguro-seeming royal left to talk with one of those she loved so much, she had finally exceeded the patience of her dearest friends. In mere moments, she would need those friends as never before.

Not taking full note of their friends' departure, Naru and Mitsune continued an important squaring-off.

"What are you getting at?"

"Naru, if all the crap I've been pulling has upset you for so long, why did I only just hear about it this morning?"

"I've told you to stop it in the past—I can't even count how many times."

Mitsune was not having any of it.

"No, chiefly you raised your voice, called my name and rolled your eyes. I never knew I got to you beyond the moment. Maybe I should have, but I can't always know that, Naru. It almost feels like you never bothered with me, because maybe I wasn't worth it."

Naru stormed up and looked her straight in the eye.

"Sometimes, frankly, you weren't. Do you have any idea how many bars I dragged your sorry ass out of? How many all of us have? How many shops, taverns, restaurants stop each and every one of us either demanding payment or warning us against bringing you in there? The kinds of things people casually say about you behind your back? It gets wearying trying to answer or refute it all, particularly when any and all words to the wise bounce more often than your chest."

Mitsune's head had been cleared by the fire she had walked through, and she was not backing down.

"Then say that! If you can't get through to me, then tell me that you can't get through to me. If I'm being impossible and won't listen, tell me how angry that makes you. If---"

Her voice broke for a moment, but picked up again as she looked at Keitaro.

"---if you think that my playing you for the rent makes me a little whore, scream it in my face. I may as well have you do something in my face."

"Don't involve him—"

"Naru, I've got this. Mitsune, I never thought of you that way. You mainly asked for delays, not---err—exchange for services—except for one boob grab. You talk about being disregarded, but I felt like I was the one who wasn't taken seriously."

"Yeah---well—I'm paying for that now, right? Bottom of the list. Your list."

Naru got right back in.

"Well, what are we supposed to do? Are you honestly telling me that a more direct approach on each and every last time you've been a pain in the ass would have made a bit of difference?"

Mitsune folded her arms.

"I don't know the answer to that. Probably not. But maybe I wouldn't have gotten so defensive if we hadn't suddenly shifted from 'Oh That Kitsune' to 'Throw The Bitch Out' in one motion. Narusegawa, why didn't you just tell me that I injured you aboard the airship? Did you think that I was so heartless I wouldn't care that I hurt the best friend I ever had, or probably ever will have? I'm sorry for that, and I'm sorry for playing a stupid game just to lamely try and put myself back in play with Keitaro. I'm sorry for putting myself between you and your damn dream out of greed and petty jealousy. I'm sorry for going out of my way to make myself an embarrassment. But couldn't you have at least tried for me? For your sister? When did I become so far gone that it wasn't worth the effort, except in an all or nothing confrontation that was almost destined to go bad?"

This seemed to hit Naru right between the eyes.

"I—don't like to draw that kind of line, unless I really have to. I did it with Keitaro, and I don't know how many times I came close to letting that end things. I did it back at home, when I felt like my step-family had my Mom's attention over me, and I ended up here. You are a pain in the ass, Mitsune, but I love you, you're precious to me, and when normal talk couldn't get through to you, I worried that tough love would mean losing you forever."

Mitsune shook her head.

"That almost happened anyway, Naru. You always try and retreat from a fight, even when it demands to be fought. I used to wonder why you went so all-out on entering Todai, when you already had the best prelims in all of Japan. I see it now—you were trying your best for the toughest exam anybody knows to not be even the slightest challenge—because you worry that you can't rise to that challenge without breaking something. But it never works, does it? You and Keitaro. Reconciling with Little Mei. Entering Todai. Telling your slacker bitch sister where to stuff her lazy drunken debtor ass. Keitaro's initial image of you may be fists flying. Mine is of that sudden pick-up in pace you do, as you try to out-run life. Our guy here isn't the only one who has to change. Not by a long shot."

Naru felt close to exhaustion, but gave the words needed to end this crisis.

"I'm sorry I didn't at least try to avoid making today all-or-nothing."

"I'm sorry I ever made you believe that all-or-nothing is what it took."

Naru saw the look on Mitsune's face, and shook her head.

"What happened to you while you were away? Did someone hurt you?"

"Ummm—like I said, the way things went today---"

"Mitsune---its more than that. I can always tell. What happened?"

Mitsune Konno was decidedly unsure about speaking on her bizarre encounter with the Kitsune. So she prayed her friends—her family would forgive just one more lie.

"Karma. I ran into that blonde Frenchman Pierre, while he was looking for Haruka. We went to Goro's Tavern, and wouldn't you know, he ducked and stuck me for the bill. Heh. Guess I got Kitsuned. Had to wash a lot of dishes—and I had a lot of time to think. I mean, he really got me good. The justice of it all had me reconsidering a lot of things."

Naru ran over and hugged her.

"I'm sorry that happened. But if it helped you to come back to us like this—I guess we won't hunt that creep down like the dog he is."

Mitsune looked over at Mutsumi, who caught that she wished to talk to her alone.

"Yeah, no point in that. I was banned from Goro's anyway, and he's—he's probably not even in Japan right now."

The embrace was tender and spoke of forgiveness. Shinobu smiled more broadly than anyone, and squeezed the hand of Keitaro, who was sitting down on the couch.

"I guess we finally have peace, eh Sempai?"

"Shinobu-Chan, I openly defy anything to go wrong as of now!"

As the returned Mitsune ducked to the kitchen with Mutsumi for a more truthful talk about Konno's time away, the embodied foolishness of Keitaro's words burst forth from Su's bedroom.

"I HATE YOU, MOTOKO!!!"

The normally unflappable, seemingly never sad nor angry princess of Molmol burst out of her room, the shocking words still hanging in the air, and with more to follow as she looked around at the other residents.

"I HATE YOU ALL! I HATE YOU FOREVER!!!"

A Kaolla Su almost unrecognizable burst out of the lobby doors. Out of Su's room slowly walked a dazed and psychically battered Motoko. She turned to the one she had never been able to push away.

"Urashima—Keitaro---I need your---"

She fainted and fell forward, face-first into his lap—and associated regions. Keitaro first yelped, and then nodded.

"Well—this is--certainly a---change of pace."

When the room fell silent, Shinobu, who was now squeezing his hand ever tighter out of nerves and shock, spoke to him. Her words were poorly chosen, though forgivable.

"Sempai--you want to borrow my skillet? It's no trouble."

* * *

"Sarah, get her legs!"

"Dad, she's too strong!"

"Will you two let me go?"

Haruka tried to swat at her husband and step-daughter, till finally they worked her over to the couch, where they literally sat on her.

"What gives you the right to prevent me from checking up on them at the Sou, during their worst crisis ever?"

Father and child responded as one.

"You did."

"Yeah, before you went to the doctor's office earlier."

"And I quote my loving, gentle wife: They have to do this on their own. I stopped wiping Keitaro's decades ago, it's time I stopped wiping for the girls—ladies."

"Mom--you didn't actually wipe for them, did you? I mean, as for Kitsune, who hasn't? But the others…"

Haruka calmed down and then offered prayers that the nephew she had said she had confidence in was up to the job of repairing their family.

"Nori honey—let me up. I'm good."

"Sorry, m'dear. Every archeologist worth his salt knows a trap."

"Yeah, Mom. No way we're getting off you."

"One word, guys—Mummification. Starting with cerebral removal through the proboscis."

The pair gave up their sacred mission without another word. Haruka mused before putting it out of her head.

*Ehhh—probably by now, he's fallen face-first into one of their private regions, and that will let everyone know things are back to normal.*

* * *

Naru was blocked from reaching Motoko, keeled over face-first in a place Narusegawa had clearly called dibs on.

"Hang on there, girl. One, the samurai is the offending party—wish I'd thought of that tack, been drunk often enough---two—well, one pretty much covers it."

Naru smiled at Mitsune, then looked at her fiancé.

"Keitaro—you and Mitsune take her out to the onsen—do what you have to, but don't leave her alone. Shinobu and I will go after Su."

Mitsune was for the foreseeable future trying not to be the one who stirred the pot. But her 'bass-ackwards' alarm clicked on with a vengeance.

"Umm—you are sending out a boy—your guy—to help me undress a girl who is the most modesty-aware creature on the planet Earth, and again said boy has been both the object of her wrath and the subject of several disturbing pieces of character-insert fiction on her part."

Naru stared at her. Mitsune shrugged.

"Old me, alright? I've evolved. Besides, you know what my point is."

Naru nodded.

"I do—and I've evolved, too. I trust him, you and her. Mitsune—she didn't fall into your crotch, calling your name."

Mitsune was impressed by this, but the day had left her so numb, saying so was beyond her.

"That had been a private fantasy of mine, dammit. Okay, sparring partner—let's strip us a samurai."

Keitaro was already leading the shaken Motoko slowly to the onsen door, and Mitsune found the tender sight forced a smile out of her.

*He doesn't have to go for nailing all of us—he's had us all by the short ones for a while now.*

Mutsumi joined the pair helping Motoko. Shinobu asked Naru a question as they went after Su.

"Sempai—modesty aside, wouldn't Sempai Keitaro be a better choice to go after Su? She loves him as much as Motoko. You were the rival that beat her, and I've been rotten these past few days."

"Point taken, kid. But Shinobu—did you hear her voice? That was pure love twisted into pure hate. I have a feeling I know what Motoko said to her, and Su would like as not prefer us to either of them, right about now."

Shinobu heard these words, and now had a feeling she herself might be the best qualified to help Su. She hoped.

*Oh, Su. At least I was braced for it—a little. There was no way you could have been ready for it.*

To the surprise of both women aiding Keitaro, Motoko waved them off in favor of his help alone. He helped her out of her long robes, and undid her body wrap. No thundering warnings emerged from the born warrior, no ki-based attacks, nor a sudden realization followed by horror. The only noise that came from Motoko as he sat her down was a word that could have easily come from Kaolla Su or Kanako.

"Onii-Chan? Will you bathe with me? I am cold."

"No. But from outside the water, I will hold your hand. I'm here for you, Motoko."

"Onii-Chan—I failed her. I wasn't strong, like you."

There was a towel draped across her shoulders, and his head was turned to deny him a direct view. But he kept to his pledge, holding her hand firmly in his.

"Motoko—what happened?"

* * *

Nearer the onsen entrance, Mitsune shrugged.

"So why are we here?"

Mutsumi shushed her down a few octaves.

"For him. Naru trusts him, but without us 'standing watch', he'd be too nervous to help Motoko, and he is the one she needs right now."

"In other words, we're here for character support."

"Remember, you said it—I didn't—Kitsune."

"It's Mitsune, alright?"

"So you said. You also fed us a whopper about where you were. Goro's banned you months ago—I remember because I had to drag you home. As for Pierre, Auntie Haruka said he married a wealthy countess from the Low Countries over a year ago."

Mitsune decided it was time to have the talk Su's tantrum had interrupted.

"First, swear to me that you will not accuse me of making this up. I may be crazy, Mutsumi, but this once, I will swear that I am not lying."

"Okay. I swear. Mitsune, tell me. Because it's obviously killing you inside."

Mitsune Konno then related to her the bizarre episode with the real Kitsune, and all she had said and revealed. Mutsumi did not dismiss the tale of the distraught Mitsune.

"Well, I did see a Kitsune hanging around here a few times. But the only time I ever got a clear view of it was when Kanako left. I can read lips from a fair distance, but all I could make out was Kanako calling it reckless, or something like that."

"Then you believe me?"

Mutsumi put a hand on her shoulder.

"I don't think you're lying."

"But you do think I'm crazy, right?"

"Not—really. Mitsune, you had just drunk hard sake made from grains that may be unique to the Aoyoma shrine. Sake meant to spur vision quests made by warriors. You were hurt and grieving. I don't think you're either lying or insane."

"You're saying that maybe I was just overwrought?"

Mitsune pulled the folded envelope containing the picture of her parents with the trickster.

"These are your parents with her?"

"Well—one of them. That's the question, isn't it?"

Were Mutsumi the world's most insensitive clod, she could still have easily read Mitsune's pain. She was not this, and so her friend's pain was practically radiating through her.

"So she was real. If you had this, why ask me?"

"Simple. Suppose I pulled it out and the envelope had nothing, or there was no envelope?"

Mutsumi put her hand on Mitsune's shoulder.

"It might prove nothing, or it might prove that a trickster can really play with your head. My family accepts the spirits that surround us, but doing business with them is reserved for something critically important. They're just too mercurial—not to mention often cruel. My grandmother once said that they tend to have a sense of entitlement. They are often our ancestors, or had dealings with them."

Mitsune was glad to hear this, though it told her nothing she hadn't thought of already. Sensing this, Mutsumi asked a touchy question.

"What will you tell the others?"

This one, she knew without having to think.

"Nothing. I told you because you seem like you're in touch with the mystic side of things—and because we frankly haven't known each other long enough for me to have pissed you off the way I did nearly everyone else. Don't take that as you not being a good friend, Mutsumi. Just by hearing me out, I think you kept me from actually going crazy."

"Are you afraid they wouldn't believe you?"

"They might not. This still-foxy but former fox has a credibility gap with her nearest and dearest. Something I plan to change. But I think I could convince them—show them that I'm sincere. That's not what worries me."

She closed her eyes, and the cheery look of one being closed was nowhere in evidence.

"Mutsumi, I live a life without excuses. Maybe I can't live one without apologies anymore. But I don't like excuses. Maybe it's part of why I joined in the anvil chorus on pounding Keitaro early on. I thought he was using his clumsiness as an excuse for copping a feel or seeing some flesh. Or maybe I was just a cruel bitch, and maybe I still am. But if so, that's because of who I am. If Mitsune Konno is an irresponsible leeching lazy trampy pain in the ass, it's because that's who I choose or chose to be. Not because my real Mom is some kind of evil spirit. To quote the sailor, I am what I am. I don't want anyone excusing me."

Mutsumi sighed, looking over to see Motoko and the lovingly cautious Keitaro talking in the distance.

"Mitsune—the woman you described didn't sound evil. She sounded sorry. Also, have you called your—have called the Konnos to try and confirm her story?"

"I got my—I got Mom on cell-phone. I didn't have many minutes left, naturally. Wasted them all hearing her denying even knowing such a person—but in that way she has that makes me think 'unspoken subject'. I didn't even mention the mystic stuff, or my birth—which by the way does kind of coincide with what she claimed. I would have been born awfully close to their wedding date. They were always anxious around me—and I always felt like I'd done something wrong in a just because kind of way."

"Do I need to say it?"

Mitsune shook her head.

"I know. A good con artist makes you mentally suggest your way into their lie. I don't want this to be real, Mutsumi. But I also can't take not knowing for sure."

"There is one person who would know, and who I believe would tell you the truth about this woman. Grandma."

The idea that anyone could solve this riddle seemed to take Mitsune by surprise.

"Yeah. She supposedly caught and then used her to cast the spell on the Annex. Then I'll call her. Haruka or Keitaro must have a number where she can be reached."

Mutsumi raised a finger.

"Yes—but do you really want to know for certain?"

"Huh? I just said I did."

"Mitsu—if Grandma does know, wouldn't you want to know why she never told you? Also, consider this—Kanako seemed to know of the Kitsune, and her mastery of disguise is nearly supernatural as well. Keitaro told me that the parents whose deaths caused the Urashimas to adopt her were not her birth parents—and that he didn't really know who was. And if the Kitsune produced one child by a foolish act—who's to say that you were the first?"

Mitsune's eyes seemed to glaze over, but she shook it off.

"She uses latex and rubber, and kit-bashes household stuff for all that. Besides, her brother can always see through them, even when she dressed up as Naru. Maybe—maybe fox-lady just showed her some tricks to add on."

Mutsumi knew that Kanako was not Mitsune's favorite person—far from it. Besides the attacks and near-torture, the fact that Kanako's behavior had somehow evaded the scrutiny that had hit so many others in their circle so hard just did not sit well.

"Keitaro can see through her likely because of his nature. At least some of the things she does can't be shrugged off as stage tricks. But all that aside, Mitsune—can you take finding out? That a woman we all revere kept you in the dark, whatever her reasons? That a girl you can't stand might be the only blood relation you have willing to regularly talk with you? Because I have Grandma's number."

Mutsumi handed Mitsune the cell phone. After ten seconds, she received it back.

"Nah. That little psycho is Keitaro's problem, and---"

With uncertainty in her voice, Mitsune looked at Motoko rising from the onsen, Keitaro helping cover her as he must have once done for Kanako.

"—right now he has enough problems right here."

Mitsune did take the shoulder she was offered. While it would be unfair to say that Naru was soon to pull away from them, her new love would mean less time for some of her old friends, and as this inevitably occurred, Naru's oldest friends would form a deep lasting friendship of their own.

* * *

"Onii-Chan? Are you there?"

*Call me Urashima, Motoko. Hell, call me pervert, or dead pervert, or Grand Despoiler Of Young Women. But Onii-Chan? That's not you.*

"Onii-Chan is here, Motoko-Chan. As he promised you."

"Why won't you sit here with me?"

*Because at some point, you are going to snap out of this, and when that happens, I want sight of the onsen door, not your—unbelievably hot—body.*

"We are not small children, little sister. Propriety must be maintained."

*Not to mention my manhood. I really doubt Naru's request extends quite that far.*

"Motoko-chan---please tell me what happened, between you and Su."

Her breath was caught in her sob as she spoke.

"Onii-chan held the heart of a dear young girl in his hand, and gently guided her to wisdom."

Shinobu.

"But this vile unworthy failed in the same task."

"I don't understand."

"Just as Onii-Chan finds he cannot hold me now, so Motoko decided that she must follow Onii-Chan's good example with Shinobu-Chan, and explain to our little sister that Motoko cannot be her teacher, so long as our common affection stirs possibilities. Our little heart needs a teacher, that she may remain with us. For the greater love I hold her in, Motoko must sacrifice, possibly forever, the idea that we could be something more."

Keitaro shuddered at what it must have cost her to do that, and the rage that must have overtaken Kaolla Su when she heard this from one she obviously worshipped.

"My little sister is wise and strong. Our little sister needs one who is only a teacher, and a teacher must sometimes scold and say no."

The tears now flowed from her eyes. *Those eyes*, he thought. *I may as well be these girls' gynecologist, for all I've seen, but it's always their eyes.*

"It hurts, Keitaro. I thought somehow she'd understand why I was doing this, why I was drawing this line. I have never seen her truly angry before."

He recalled Haruka's words, that they would be more naked in his eyes than ever before.

"Motoko, we're raised to understand, and to accept. Su has been trying to re-invent the world since before any of us met her. I don't even know how exactly she arrived here."

"I recall when she arrived. I instantly and completely despised her."

Caution aside, that made Keitaro turn his head and look at her directly.

"Come again?"

Her blush was actually a welcome sign that she was coming out of it, so he turned around again as she responded.

"She was chaos embodied. As close to a wild savage as I had ever encountered. She was at the opposite end of everything I despised about my gender. Away from the staid submissive who worshipped the idea of surrendering to male power, she was the uncaring lunatic who would give men what they wanted for kicks and giggles. I never mentioned that, did I? I once had as little use for my fellow woman as I did for any man. I regarded Naru and Mitsune as sisters lost to either a philosophy of playing man's game of power or—well, really almost no philosophy at all. Shinobu was like a beautiful crystal, destined to shatter at the first strong wind. It's so odd. I yelled at her then, quite often. My verbal thrashing of Su equaled any physical beating I have ever given you. But where you were fooled, she never was, and saw my soft core. The day came that Tsuruko paid me the briefest of visits—and she knows as many verbal ki attacks as she does physical ones, and how to deliver them in almost no time at all. To my surprise, that night—I slept like a baby, despite my wounded pride. Do I need to say what I awoke to?"

He smiled, and could almost feel her snuggled against him, waking to find wild hair in his eyes and the face of an angel at rest.

"You noticed that one of your legs felt about seventy-five pounds heavier?"

"Keitaro, you and she are the current extent of my emotional development. I am so stunted in even truly contemplating such matters, I am not even sure if I am also attracted to other women. It wouldn't bother me, but I simply don't know. Until your—generosity—inspired me—I had scrupulously avoided even allowing my hands under the covers as I slept."

*There's no need to be quite that comfortable around me, Motoko.*

"Hey—the one with the blue-haired witch was always one of my favorites."

"I know. You blindly panicked until Naru found it in my portable player. Yet that is how far back I was. But wherever I stand in my journey, and whatever my desires might truly be in the end, I know certain things. Among them is that I love Kaolla Su, and for her I would do absolutely positively anything---anything at all----"

Her voice was broken by another sob, but this time it was a heartier one.

"---except provide her with a sensei so compromised by that love that she fails to truly teach and test her. Perhaps in Molmol, teachers there know some island secret that makes such a thing possible. But this islander does not see it, at least for the present. Yet I did not show the deftness you apparently did with Shinobu…why are you laughing?"

"Ask Shinobu about that. Now, Naru just told me about the pictures Su wanted to send me while I was in America. Aside from wanting to jump the ocean and a continent to hunt and kill me, just how did you shut that down?"

"There was no speaking to her about modesty. She argued that you already knew her body. Apparently, she sheds pajamas in the night no matter who she sleeps with. There was no talking to her about propriety or the law—besides, she was kicking all of us in the head as she missed you ever more. It was only by telling her that you knew of her love well enough that the pictures would be redundant that we finally talked her down—and by this I mean, she was sleeping on the roof, waiting for your return. Even Kanako soon learned not to disguise herself as you, after a time."

He helped her up, and quickly covered what was in the end still distracting him.

"In other words, you found a way. You will find it again, like you always do. You and I together with all our family will take this seemingly hopeless situation and turn it into a fighting chance."

"You want me to go after her, don't you? Urashima—I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can face her anger once again."

He placed his closed fist against the top of her chest, just below the neck.

"You will go after her—or I swear, Aoyoma-San, I will strip you of that towel, throw you over my shoulder while we search, AND call our elder sister and tell her of your failure of nerve in such a vital moment."

She visibly gulped.

"You wouldn't tell Tsuruko, would you?!"

A loss of modesty and dignity simply did not carry the terror it once did for her. Tsuruko's scorn still did, but again, not as much as it once did. There was one thing that struck fear in her soul, and that was failing the one who had smashed through the thick ice surrounding a cold soul and taught her once more what love was, especially in front of the one who had waited patiently for the rest of the thaw.

"Let's go and get our girl back, Urashima."

* * *

If finally trusting her man and her friends was a source of calm to Naru, the frantic search for Kaolla Su was not. How many little kids didn't return from things like these? Part of the reason she had always had trouble accepting her true love was a healthy cynicism about the state of the world. In short, not all men were Keitaro Urashima, and some lived solely for the moment that a little treasure like Kaolla Su fell into their hands.

"Is this it, Kami? Is this my hell, for turning to rage for handling my loved ones? Every time it seems peace is at hand this day, we get an explosion on another front. I know a lit a few of those. But let the others go. Let him go. Maybe he'd be better off with Shinobu—someone who worshipped him from the start."

"Hey! I'm right here!"

Naru gulped and looked over at the young friend she'd forgotten about.

"Sorry, kid. Any luck?"

"Sempai—I haven't left your side since we left the Sou grounds."

Naru realized that self-absorption was not something she could afford, especially in a situation like this.

"I might advise splitting up, but we can't discount the possibility of traps."

"You think Su set traps?"

They had barely moved a pace ahead when the explosions started occurring. A booming angry voice came from every direction at once.

"Stay away, the both of you! I don't want to go back to the Sou, so someone else can say horrible things to me!"

Naru was now getting annoyed, her concern for Su aside.

"Su! I'm not immortal---"

"You probably are after last night! You got enough of his DNA in you."

"Uhhhh---yeah. But—I'll bet I'm strong enough to run through those explosions, so shut them down now!"

"Sempai---don't give her time to prepare! Why do all of you dance around her like this?"

"Hush, Shinobu. She doesn't really want to hurt us."

"She didn't really want to make us angry as sin in Molmol. Stop treating her as some fragile priceless vase and show her you mean business."

Naru shook her head and began a speed run towards where both the voice and the loudest hum were coming from.

"I warned you Su! Now Keitaro is going to be very angry with you."

"Is that the same boy you were about to leave to Shinobu? If I wait long enough, Naru, maybe I'll be the one you hand him off to!"

As Su taunted her, Naru was indeed closing in on the master inventor.

"Su, this may surprise you, but I am so awfully tired of talking about our feelings. You got some bad news—all of us have. But we're here to help you, and---I've got you."

Leaping over at Su's position, Naru grabbed her head—only to have that head come off in her hands. It was still speaking, and smiled as it spoke.

"Get ready for a surprise!"

Naru barely threw the head away before a very large explosion sent her flying back towards the Sou. As she went, she thought of her one true love.

*Never mind how does he survive this---how does he keep from throwing up?*

Shinobu twitched as she saw Naru fly off.

"Su—of course you realize, this means war."

* * *

Back at the onsen, Motoko had finished redressing. Keitaro thanked Mitsune and Mutsumi.

"I know she needed me. But usually, this is seven kinds of forbidden ground. So you two being here meant a lot in keeping me even."

Mutsumi spoke in terms Mitsune would surely understand.

"Ever since I've known you, Keitaro, you've been there for whoever needed you. I can't see that changing, even under threat of beatdown or embarrassment. I remember when I told you I was afraid of the boogeyman, and you didn't call me a liar or laugh at me."

Mitsune showed she got the message, but inside was still afraid of the others seeing her possible condition of birth as an excuse—or even worse, letting her use it as an excuse.

"Urashima has proven time and again to be a good, reliable, and discreet friend. Wait—was is that in the sky?"

"Let me look—I've gotten good at distance spotting, after all my tumbles. Oh—boy. Motoko—forgive me!"

He reached out and grabbed her chest, even lightly squeezing.

"Urashima?"

He now realized that they had become close at the wrong point to save one they loved. Her confused but calm reaction to his intrusion made him switch to Plan B.

"Knock me into the sky towards that gleam!"

She did so, again quite calmly.

"You could have just asked."

Mitsune shrugged.

"Well, at least you're paid up for the next two months' rent."

Motoko glared.

"Shut up, you. Must you make…"

Crashing into the onsen was a couple on fire. Steam coming off them, Motoko out-bid and out-did Mitsune.

"Oh—so her, you'll sit naked in the onsen with. I see how it is."

Mutsumi grinned.

"Well, she did call dibs."

Mitsune nodded as they went inside to fetch the duo some clothes.

"Which she rubs in our faces at like every opportunity. Now, if he wants to rub something in our faces..."

"We shall consider it for Urashima's thirtieth birthday."

Mutsumi added on.

"We're not going to do that thing with the bikinis under the towels again? Because it's frankly gotten old."

"So we'll ditch the bikinis. By that point, no one in this group will be that firm anymore except Sarah."

"Speak for yourselves."

Keitaro checked on Naru.

"You all right?"

She kissed her rescuer, then smiled slyly.

"How did you manage that little maneuver at that height?"

He grinned wickedly as well.

"Blame Shinobu. She figured out the logistics that time when we got blasted away by Su's machine. She said it all very matter of factly, mind you, and I think it was to keep her mind off of possibly plummeting to our deaths."

"She's a bright kid. Oh, God—Keitaro she's still up there—and Su's gone nuts. Hey—if you have to catch her—don't---ummm---"

"Hey! No way would I do that---it's too soon."

"Like that stopped you even once last night."

Their clothes arrived, and the group went to fetch back their two youngest members.

* * *

Shinobu stepped forward, only to see Keitaro.

"It's all right, Shinobu. We're letting her sleep here tonight, till she calms down."

"Okay, Sempai."

Shinobu then decapitated him in one skillet hit, sending the head flying through a nearby tree. The explosion that followed knocked an indignant Su to the ground.

"That was mean! Suppose that had been the real Keitaro?"

"Easy. He would have forgiven me—and his head would have stayed on."

Shinobu tossed her skillet up, catching it by its lip, and knocked remotes out of both of Su's hands with just the handle.

"I'm not going back!"

Devices were produced, and just as quickly knocked from Su's hands.

"You are going back, because we love you, YOU NINNY!!"

Su scrambled for another tree, only for Shinobu to leap over her and smash every last gadget hidden around the area.

"Oh—No. It's not gonna be like that."

"Hey—Shinobu!! Stop!!! My Clothes!!"

Shinobu stripped Su and shook out her clothes, revealing endless devices, weapons, and even rocket-powered roller skates. Only when the clothes were 'emptied' did Shinobu hand them back to a mortified Su.

"My stuff—you did it again."

Shinobu smashed everything in sight, before turning back to a Su shivering from more than just the morning air.

"I'm going to save Motoko some trouble and give you your first lessons right here and right now."

Su's eyes and face turned confused, and frightened.

"Shinobu? Please. I'm all upset now."

Shinobu nodded, then took a swing at Su with the skillet. She ducked with an audible yelp.

"First lesson: It doesn't work on me. I'm Kawaii too. I'm your friend, Su, but I can guarantee I've never been in love with you. So don't try the sweetly confused thing with me. You are sweet, and I know you're often confused—but I also know that you play it or all it's worth."

Su ran up and got in her friend's face.

"I HATE YOU! You started this whole bad thing going! Why don't you run back to the inn, and wait for Naru to die or something?"

Shinobu stunned her by slapping Su across the face.

"Second Lesson: DON'T BE SUCH A STINKING SPOILED BRAT! If you will recall, Princess, I started acting like a brat after you breezily pulled us all into a place where your word is law. First lesson again, Kaolla Su---it doesn't work on me. I'll hurt your feelings deliberately to get through to you. So behave yourself and give me other options."

"You—hit me. Shinobu, how could you?"

Shinobu pointed at the sky.

"Where is Sempai Naru? WHERE IS SHE, SU?"

"I—I don't know."

"Is she alive?"

"I don't know. Probably—yipes!"

Another skillet swing was barely ducked.

"Shinobu!"

"She's—probably alive. A woman I call Sempai and you've called Onee-Chan, and alongside whom we've whined and grown and fallen in love with the same man is—probably alive."

Shinobu began a series of movements with the skillet that had Su on her toes, till one stopped just short of slamming her full in her terrified face.

"Lesson Three: Your inventions are dangerous. They are wonderful things, Su, but so are Motoko's swords, and so was an antique pistol O-Sempai Seta showed us once. So are my best chopping knives. If not used with forethought----are you listening to me?"

"Y-yes!"

"Good. Any object—even to your amazing intellect—if not used with forethought and patience—can be deadly—and like Kitsu—like Mitsune said—nothing should be done just because you can, or because you're in a bad mood."

"You mean like hitting people with a skillet?"

"That—and setting up booby traps rather than just hiding out till you calm down. Don't you get that challenging Sempai Naru is the surest way to start a fight, rather than being left alone?"

Su was practically in a fetal ball on the ground.

"You don't understand. Motoko told me she doesn't love me anymore. That she never can."

"Is that really what she said?"

"We—eell---she said that she couldn't be my teacher while maybe someday being my bride as well, and that being my teacher was more important than us loving each other for real."

Shinobu shrugged.

"Sounds a lot like she was trying to be the best teacher she can be. Sounds like she worried that being anything more to you would get in the way of what a teacher has to do."

"That's not fair! She said I wasn't being punished anymore, and not ever being mine when I love her is a huge punishment!"

*She's good. But I mustn't break down now. She'd have all of them by now, but I'm not falling for it.*

"Fourth Lesson: You once and for all have to start thinking of others when you do and say things. That you love and care about us is evident in everything you do, Su. How you go about it sometimes makes that hard to see—and I remain convinced that you do know what you're doing somehow. For example—that 'skirt' you had me try on just before Todai---you knew it was like having me walking up to Sempai naked, right?"

"You said you wanted extreme measures."

"We are vague sometimes. And you seize upon that vagueness. Uh-uh. Using that kind of leeway is what mythical tricksters and comedic delinquents do—not friends."

Su still did not look convinced.

"You don't know how much hearing that we were never going to be together hurt."

"The hell I don't! Why in blazes do you think that Sempai took me to dinner tonight?"

"Ummmm—to get those wonderful chili-cheese fries?"

*I knew she'd love them.*

"No. To tell me he and Sempai Naru have become engaged. To thank me for helping them where I have—and to---damn—and to tell me No when I offered to become his mistress. I reacted—minus WMD's---pretty much just the way you did to Motoko."

"Did you hit him with the frying pan?"

"No. No frying pan."

"No tigers, pistols, heavy weights or pointed sticks? No fresh fruit?"

"Su—don't make me go all Naru on you again. Weren't you even listening to me?"

"yeah. You were lecturing me again. I'm wrong, and you're right, okay?!"

Shinobu shook her head, and tossed away the skillet.

"I was afraid it was going to come to this. Su---come at me. We're having a throw down."

Su chuckled.

"Shinobu, don't be ridiculous! I've been trained by Motoko, and by the Molmol Royal Elite, whose fathers turned----"

"Whose fathers turned my countrymen back. I know. You told us—if you even remember that, with your at-will ADD. Well, back then, my country, like many a great country, was full of itself and maybe needed its butt kicked—just the way I'm gonna kick yours—and then you will listen, Princess."

Su smiled, and came flying feet-first at Shinobu's head. Shinobu, for her part, simply sat down as Su went tumbling past her. Getting up, Shinobu gestured for Su to try again, a half-grin on her face.

"I will wipe that right off of you!"

A full-on charge was tried next, and Shinobu was smashed into—until she flipped around, seizing the momentum and again sending Su into a tumble.

"If you like, we can postpone this until we can get Sarah and maybe Mei Narusegawa to help you out."

Su tried a series of punches, all of which were blocked by Shinobu before they even came near her. Two fingers to Su's chest were all she needed to take the Princess down yet again. Su lay stunned.

"How are you doing this? You don't have any training."

"Maybe I'm just naturally better then every last man, woman or child who lives, ever has, or ever will live in the kingdom of Molmol."

Hitting the ground like a springboard, Su almost seemed to bounce right up to Shinobu, finally pushing her down—until Shinobu's feet caught Su gently but firmly in the stomach, sending her sprawling once again. Shinobu then kicked each butt-cheek twice with just enough force as to leave no doubt.

"Here Endeth The Lessons."

"What lesson? I didn't learn anything!"

Shinobu helped her up.

"I know. You never learn anything, because you never listen. You never keep anything in, Su, except for what you yourself come up with. I knew I could beat you, despite your training, because in all the time I've known you—you don't listen to anything past what you wish to hear. You don't see past yourself. If you did, then you would realize that kicking a man in the head is painful for him, even if he is Immortal. If you did, you would never have used a trap on Naru you saw in a movie—and it wasn't even one of his better ones. If you could allow yourself to see even the tiniest bit past you—you would see how painful it must have been for Motoko to draw the line she did—instead of shouting out how you hate her, and all of us."

"It hurt her to do that? But she did it anyway? And—are you saying that Keitaro feels pain when I kick him?"

Whenever dealing with Kaolla Su, Shinobu found it useful to recall the first time Keitaro had shown her the 1971 film version of Willy Wonka. In short, Su—was a dream come true, maybe with a few odd turns for those who didn't obey the rules---and then came the boat ride. Of late, Su had been all 'Wonkatania' boat ride and no Candy Room.

"Yes to all of those. I've been where you were, Su."

"You have? When? Ohhh—earlier tonight, like you said."

*My Word. I've struck oil.*

"Exactly."

"But Shinobu—you still aren't listening. If Motoko's love isn't strong enough to make her unable to put it aside, that means she doesn't really love me at all. If she did, there's no way she'd be able to separate the two."

"Or maybe---it's so strong that in order to honor it, she must put it on indefinite hold."

Su shook her head.

"But Motoko's so wonderful. If she can even put our love on hold for a short time, she must think I'm just an obligation, and that means I maybe never had her love to start with."

Shinobu had to reason through what had been said, even if, as she told Mutsumi, spending time in Su's head was painful.

"Motoko is wonderful, isn't she?"

"She sure is."

"But she isn't perfect."

Su grabbed at her, this time successfully.

"You take that back!"

"I won't. And you know why?"

"Ummm—No."

Shinobu took Su's hand.

"Because if she were, Su, she would have recognized that maybe a day like today—or a week like we've been having—wasn't the best time to tell you news that was bound to upset you."

"But how would she know this would upset me?"

"It's part of thinking about others, Su. In fact, maybe Motoko thought of herself first when she decided to tell you about this tonight. Just like I thought of myself first when I lashed out at everybody. We're allowed to do it, and sometimes we even have to. But even if we love and care for others, we have to try and walk past our own nose. I really think you do get it, and that you have for quite some time. It just maybe wasn't comfortable for you, to dwell on a subject that you weren't a genius in. Well, none of us are, especially in this household. Su—understanding this in a major way will be a greater challenge for you than any hundred videogames—are you up to it?"

"Greater than all the Final Fantasy games combined—even since the Famicom?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far—but it could come close."

Su sprang up, looking almost happy.

"I guess—when I didn't think about how hard it might have been for Motoko to say that—I might have hurt her more."

Shinobu knew that Su would be an ongoing struggle, and that no one breakthrough or series of them would change that in and of itself. But having finally said some things outright and clearly, she felt a corner had been turned.

"We're young, Su—we make mistakes like that."

"Did she have a shoulder to cry on?"

"She fell right into Sempai Keitaro's----yeah, his shoulder. Right on his shoulder."

They began at last to walk back.

"Shinobu—what made you so sure that I sort-of got that I wasn't really hearing people?"

Shinobu chose to reveal a secret.

"Sempai and I are very close. He sometimes treats me as though I were a younger brother, which is to say, he and I will tell each other things that we normally could not, allowing for propriety and gender. Nothing that would upset Sempai Naru—I think. But it is a part of our friendship that makes not having him as more almost completely bearable, even now, when the wounds are freshest. For example, he told me how one day while his leg was broken, he simply watched Auntie work, and recalled how beautiful he always thought she was. I told him of how, when he met my father that Christmas, it felt like an alignment in my soul. He didn't work that job long, but it meant that the two men I love best of all had talked and laughed together over hot cocoa I had brewed---"

Su saw Shinobu wipe tears away, but then continue.

"---well, that's the sort of things we share. It could be serious, it could be silly. But it's all allowed. So one day, after an onsen beatdown—you and Sarah really outdid yourselves—he tells me that he can no longer be sure that his intrusions on our person and modesty—"

"I never cared about that! I like when he sees me and touches me. I wish he did it more often. My blood Onii-chan always paid more attention to Amalla."

"---don't interrupt. Thanks! He says that he can't be sure he doesn't plan it all, maybe in his subconscious. He took one of Sempai Naru's computer model charts, and plotted out what the odds were that all those times were just coincidences. He saw that it was highly improbable that these things just happened. He even said that, being the pervert he was always accused of being, he would have to leave us. Thinking fast, I turned the model on its head and plotted out the odds of all of us being so unwilling and unwitting victims of his supposedly perverted behavior---"

"You did hit him with the pan after we got back from Molmol and he fell into your boobs---"

"---that all of us being mere 'victims' would be just as improbable. Meaning that, at some point, his desire to see and touch us met up with our desire to be seen and touched by someone we could trust. The reactions—the over-reactions—were mainly cultural. Otherwise, how do you explain Motoko and Naru not finally killing him, his status aside? In your case, I saw how gingerly everyone walked around you, and decided that you must use that eggshell-walking to your advantage, even if innocently."

Su actually seemed to be taking it all in.

"Wow—that's a lot. You're really smart."

"I have to be, Princess—after all, I still have to join my Sempai at Todai. Plus, Sempai Naru was sickly as a little girl—she could have a relapse."

"That's---heh—not funny—heh---ehhh—do you really think she might?"

"No. There's a better chance of you taking the Sou to Molmol."

"Why is that so wrong? All I wanted to do was keep my best friends around me and around each other forever."

Shinobu took her dear friend's hand, then released it and caressed the face she had slapped.

"But Su—that would keep that circle static and unchanging. If our circle never changed, if we never ran into old friends and met new ones, would we have met? Would Sarah be with us, or even Sempai Keitaro? Would I have met Arlo tonight?"

"I never saw it that way before. Who's Arlo?"

"He's a boy coming over to see me in two weeks—and you know the rule---"

"I know! No giant glass pinballs. Sheesh! I even hear that from Motoko!"

The two parties met up as the Sou came in sight, and Motoko and Su raced into each other's arms.

"If you doubt my wisdom in handling this matter, do not ever doubt my love."

"I won't. Cause you love me so much, you had to hurt you and me to help me stay."

Motoko shot a look at Shinobu, who nodded, taking credit for this. Motoko smiled at her in deepest gratitude. Shinobu noted that both her sempais were wearing different clothes.

*Even in the air—like rabbits.*

"Umm—Shinobu?"

"Mitsune?"

"Not to be too selfish, but I haven't eaten all day. You got anything?"

"I do. Come on and help me, because we're all getting some."

"I was hoping for Keitaro to say that, but okay."

Su ducked for her room, proclaiming the need to show them something. She emerged to the living room with a box covered by a blanket. Shinobu and Mitsune emerged from the kitchen with serving trays and steaming bowls.

"Hey, folks—I give you—Shinobu's Beef Barley Soup!"

"It may not be traditional, but this seems to be a day for new things. Eat up, everyone."

Keitaro was the first to comment.

"Shinobu—this is even better than the restaurant I got you the recipe from!"

Naru was not shy about it.

"It really is extraordinary, kiddo. You've outdone yourself."

Su was eating it up at a fast pace.

"This is worth getting hit, stripped, taunted, lectured and my butt kicked."

The stares at Shinobu didn't last. The soup was that good. Motoko nodded.

"Very nearly a---I will say it—transcendent soup, Shinobu."

Mitsune was on her second bowl.

"I'd chew shoe leather right now—but this stuff ain't shoe leather. Congrats to our resident chef."

Shinobu revealed her secret.

"I was so tired and overwrought this morning that, when preparing the initial stock, I absolutely pulverized the ingredients. Rather than waste the powder that resulted, I added it back in, and I really like the extra strength it gives the flavor."

Mitsune wiped her mouth and burped unapologetically

"In other words, you took a mistake, threw it in anyway, and made a good thing even better. Sounds like our guy here."

Naru laughed.

"Sounds like all of us."

Motoko went one step further, mixing languages just a bit.

"One could even call such a process the recipe for—Hinata Soup."

Shinobu nearly fainted.

"I love that! A soup in honor of this place—not to mention Grandma."

Su raised her hand, stunning almost all present.

"Can I go now? Did I ask permission right?"

Motoko's sudden hug told her yes.

"Wow, thanks. Okay—well I kind of did like Shinobu. I took all my wrecked stuff in my room, merged the surviving chips and components, and made---"

All braced themselves for absolutely anything, knowing also that this was pointless as Su pulled back the blanket.

"---this Karaoke machine!"

All stared at the ornate, lit-up device, which, knowing Su, had undreamed-of abilities. Their faces lit up after one of the hardest days ever. Su looked concerned.

"But only if you want to use it. I don't want to force anybody."

Half of them hugged her, and the other half fought for the mike. The long day had at last gotten better, but nor was it all done just yet.


	10. Chapter Nine A Mutsumi Night's Dream

**Chapter Nine – A Mutsumi Night's Dream**

* * *

IN TRANSIT BETWEEN MOLMOL AND JAPAN, AUGUST 2001

The charter plane was a bit on the cramped side. Naru Narusegawa sat uncomfortably near to people she no longer felt as close to, save one, who she had finally chosen to spend her life with, or soon would. Her love Keitaro Urashima slept soundly, and she realized he had already elected to forgive every last wrong that had placed them in the insanity that had marked the end of July and the beginning of August. She prayed that September of 2001 would somehow be more peaceful, but her mind was not much on either prayers or peace. She looked at one snuggled up on the left side of her man.

*Okay, Kanako. I get it. He gets it. Do you? At long last, are you even capable of getting it? As far as he is concerned, you are a kid he knew and met, then largely parted ways with. But you remembered his promise, I didn't—and you adored and held him close—while I---damn it! I may not deserve him, but don't you ever again mistake that for him not choosing me! I'll crow it over all of you, if you make me. And if I have to demand of my new husband that he banish his own sister—don't force me to make that demand, Kanako. Even a bludgeon eventually hits the wind.*

In a front row seat was one who looked too self-satisfied, feeling no pain for the pain she inflicted, for the grief she kept on generating, all for kicks and fun. Naru had never before wanted her difficult sister to just go the hell away—maybe even to Hell itself.

*I trusted you. Not to do any chore, or to remember to pick up something I asked for, or to pass up a chance to make us all squirm. No, I trusted you to be there for me when it counted. I wouldn't even have cared if you found a barrel of Molmolian Banana Wine and just sat out the whole thing. But no. You were there to scam for real estate—to use my nature and his to make sure our dream never came true—probably to get the Inn in a quickie divorce, right? Because we both know you never cared one bit for him. You've shown that by word and deed, and he even said so when he showed me his journal. When the fox gets hungry, eh, Kitsune—or is that Brutus? Well, Caesar and Calpurnia survived your dagger in the back. Brutus may find herself out of Rome—or maybe I'll just choose to give you some sake, and then hang you upside down. Maybe, when you need to take a pee I'll let you down—or maybe I'll just laugh evilly, shrug and say 'Hey, I'm in character'.*

More complicated were her feelings for a woman who in theory had the power to end the nightmare they'd found themselves in, save for the love she felt for the land's mercurial ruler—and perhaps for the man Naru now firmly claimed as her own.

*I know you can never bring yourself to shut Su down in any real way, Motoko, but did you even raise your voice to her when she held us all captive? Did you say anything as those grinning ghouls shoved loaded guns in our face, or did you just cave in to pressure from that two-faced little girl? Where's that righteous fury that was just as blind as mine, when the target was a well-meaning idiot, instead of a megalomaniac who saw us all as some kind of—I don't know, some kind of potential harem, or dollhouse accessories? It would cost you too much internally to renege on your claim that you had resolved your feelings for Keitaro, so just what the hell were you doing there? He said you didn't put up much of a fight in that absurd theater Su and Kitsune set up. So why even bother? Su's fight was a dishonorable one, Samurai—so why did you even get on that ridiculous stage?*

The beauty snuggled against Keitaro's left side was someone Naru would have once defined as both sweet and wild, the embodiment of the tale of the strawberry on the branch over the cliff and pit patrolled by two hungry tigers. Covetous and vicious had largely replaced those words in her mind. Naru had actually taken pleasure in forcing one of her bodyguards off the plane, both for lack of room and by pointing out that his firearms were illegal in Japan, unless he were on a plane specifically sent to transport Molmol's rulers. One grinning female guard had her gun kicked out of her hand and her sunglasses broken—possibly along with her nose. Without missing a beat, Naru walked up to the beaten guards and mockingly went 'click-click'. While walking away, she just as mockingly told their arriving back-up to 'be certain' if they also pulled their weapons on her. They did not.

*What's with you, Su? Those guards acted like they were formed from the worst attitudes of all the world's militaries. Remember me? Onee-Chan? If I'd been loose for five seconds on that airship, all those psychos would not have stopped me from tearing one of those three symbols off and putting it back where the sun don't shine. I cannot reconcile the kid I love at home with the dictator who thought grabbing me with a metal turtle was part of a game. Maybe I don't want to anymore. No. Change that. I don't want to ever again. I told the Japanese embassy everything that happened, and they are not pleased about their airspace being violated. So it ends, Princess. No more inventions, except for however you get back home. No more hops, except the one out the door…NO! Su! I love you, kid. But can you really have no notion of what you did—or is that how you skate by, making us believe you don't?*

Naru was about to contemplate another puzzle, when said puzzle woke up and looked at her with pleading eyes, sincere, deep and as confused and angry as her own.

"Sempai—I'm so sorry. I'm responsible for all this."

*The one person I just automatically assumed was not in on this. Great.*

"Explain yourself."

Shinobu looked badly overwrought, like she hadn't really slept much at all.

"We went down to Todai so I could confess my love to Sempai Keitaro. I didn't want to steal him from you—much—but they all went down with me---I don't know why they went down with me, but it wasn't to stand with me as I confessed—and they promised!"

Naru was now officially angry at her friends—if that's what they were.

"They lied to you? I mean, what exactly did they say about why they went down there?"

"For Shinobu. A hand-pledge and everything."

"What about when you got to Molmol? Why didn't you just bail on them?"

Shinobu looked down.

"I still wanted to trust them. And then the explanations for why we were there kept changing. It was the deed. It was to escape Su. It was because we had no choice but to work with Su. I didn't even hear that thing about making it all a challenge for you till Kitsune spouted it."

Naru forced Shinobu to look her in the eye. She had not been told almost any of this, and had been cut out of the loop in several deliberate and manipulative ways. She had been afraid that Keitaro's 'perverted nature' might make him vulnerable to making a mistake. As it turned out, he had been one of the only ones Naru could trust.

"Why did you pull that slimy maneuver with the cab ride, when all of you left the Sou?"

Shinobu winced. That had not been one of her better moments.

"I still wasn't trying to steal him. I was just making sure you two couldn't finalize things before I confessed."

"I could still slap you for that, Shinobu. That was as dirty a trick as I will ever allow, even from you."

The girl showed her sorrow, and Naru wanted that to be that. But questions still remained.

"Why did you hit him?"

"You have the nerve to ask me that?"

"Yeah. Because you've never done it before. I'm working hard on never doing it again. But yours had to hurt more, because there is no way he could be expecting it. Never from you—and from behind? Sure as hell not as part of Su and Kitsune's sick game—and that's what it was, Shinobu. Try and dress it up anymore in romantic clothing, and I will even hate you."

Naru felt horrible on one level, given who she was going after. But the target had presented itself, and she wondered if any of the others would even try and offer up anything remotely resembling an apology.

"You want to know why I hit him? Not because of their lame plans---whatever those happened to be. I hit him because I hated the both of you. I hated him for choosing you instead of me, and I hated you because I kept wondering why he ever would, given how you've treated him, I---"

Shinobu closed her eyes.

"---I'm a horrible, ungrateful wretch. I am so sorry for---everything. Just knowing you two is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'm lashing out while lecturing you on doing the exact same thing. That, and I know how they all can be, and I still listened. Sempai, what's happening to me?"

She reached out and squeezed the girl's hand. This wasn't her enemy, and treating her as such was like as not the second worst thing Naru ever saw herself doing.

"I forgive you, and I don't even see that much to forgive you for. He does love you, Shinobu, so he'll forgive the frying pan if you just ask. As to what's happening, Shinobu?"

Naru forced out a smile for one that needed and deserved it.

"Our Shinobu is growing up. It's a wondrous thing to behold."

The girl smiled.

"Maybe—maybe everyone else was driven just as crazy by their love for Sempai Keitaro."

"No! Don't compare our motives to theirs. They had every chance to come out and say to him how they felt. But Su is always playing a game, this time with us as the pieces. Motoko is in torment over her love for him, so she drags everyone else into her torment. Kanako is always hiding something---she cannot be trusted—and you should have known that—sorry. And I honestly don't know if Kitsune feels anything beyond the present moment, if all that drinking didn't numb her even for that. You were led on—to some extent, and Mutsumi was with me. I'm not forgiving anyone else but Seta—Auntie reallllly nailed him hard on that---until they walk up to me and offer it up free and clear. No hints. I am so upset right now, I might even let Grandma have it, back at the Sou."

Shinobu's look turned massively skeptical.

"Uh-huh. Yeah."

Naru shrugged.

"Ok, no one's that brave. But I was angry enough to think about it. No more tests or scams. It's us from now on. Shinobu, I need to hear you say it."

"It is you and him from now on. Perhaps someday soon, you and he will even marry."

As Naru smiled, Shinobu mentally added on.

*Of course, even a happily married man needs a place to go to keep him happy.*

The pilot announced that they were approaching an airfield near Tokyo International. Su stirred briefly.

"Wassat?"

Shinobu spoke softly.

"It's okay, Princess. We're just re-entering the world where, you know, sane people write the rules and can't just lock people up on a whim."

Su fell back to sleep. Naru briefly became concerned that she had given Shinobu the wrong advice, and was feeding something ugly in both of them. Then Kitsune stretched and awoke.

"So---the two crashed and burned lovebirds gonna try for a successful re-entry tonight?"

Very briefly, before angry vengeful thoughts re-claimed her, Naru prayed for this time of troubles and fury to be already passed.

At first, as she stood before a Grandma who seemed more theatrical than usual, Naru thought that time was now gone away.

She was wrong, and her last great self-growth before adulthood was nearing its painful but necessary start. The cost of her life's approach was nearing due, and in this she was hardly alone.

But even huge debts can be paid, and even deep old wounds patched and their healing started after far too much neglect.

We have now spoken enough of the war between the sisters at the Hinata-Sou.

* * *

HINATA-SOU, NEARLY ONE WEEK LATER

One or two stiff gusts still remained, but the storm was largely spent, and friends all the stronger for walking through the unforgettable fire now literally prepared to sing of their joy—with the aid of some pop standards and the first safe sane invention to emerge from Kaolla Su's mind in no one knew how long. But one who it would have been thought would be the first to jump on the free-form fun of karaoke shook a hand in the air.

"Look—I wanna do this—hell, I need to do this. But I can't, on the off chance there's any other baggage to be unloaded, any more laundry to be aired."

Naru felt like she had talked her feelings and those of the others to death and back again, with some odd reincarnations thrown in for good measure. Despite this, she said what was on all their minds.

"What happened to us these past few days?"

Shinobu shrugged.

"Our first fight."

Motoko shook her head.

"Until this time, it was always us against them."

Mitsune nodded.

"Whoever the them was—we were always us."

Mutsumi, who had largely avoided the conflict, tried anew in aiding its penultimate resolution.

"You've had two intruders break into your circle these past three years—both named Urashima. One came to stay, and became a part of that circle. Another seems largely to have come and gone—not holding my breath on never seeing her again. Maybe this was inevitable from the moment Keitaro made his choice—or any choice, really."

"Mutsumi, this isn't Sempai's fault! You and he were the only ones who kept their heads during all this."

"She did not say it was Urashima's fault, Shinobu. But his presence, his absence, and then his choice provided the outer conflict for these years. That outer conflict artificially strengthened our unity, and caused us to gloss over a thousand other concerns. Many a strong coalition has collapsed when the fog of war is replaced by the harsh light of day. Happily, we had something more than mere alliance."

Su seemed openly sad.

"I don't ever want to fight like this ever again. I want to learn all I can about the things you told me about, so no one gets angry at me again."

Naru pulled the girl close, and playfully 'noogied' her.

"Silly! Of course we'll be angry with you again, and you with us. We're not going to make the same old mistakes—but we'll make brand new ones. You can't walk away from that."

Keitaro grabbed her up as soon as she wriggled free of Naru.

"See Su, this is another reason why the Sou could never go to Molmol. Even in a closed situation, people change. Sometimes, those changes bump up against each other. When that happens with continental plates, you get earthquakes."

The predatory Su was gone for now and simply seemed like a child who liked being held by a beloved older sibling.

"So this fight was an earthquake?"

"Mmmm…more like the aftershock to a series of earthquakes. The initial quakes weakened the buildings and roads. The aftershock showed us just how fragile what we had was."

Motoko added to this.

"And conversely, how precious the basic structure had become to us. The building is in need of strengthening and now some rebuilding as well. Part of our conflict derived from ignoring the state of disrepair that is now apparent."

Mitsune seemed most sober of all about this.

"Then we have to make a pledge to never let this happen again—by always communicating. Maybe we can't keep it 100%, but I have a feeling we better damn well try. And one more thing we better damn well do."

She grabbed the karaoke microphone.

"Start singing—cause if I can't get blasted drunk, then I am gonna mangle me some pop standards! Su? What does the Japanese selection list on this thing look like?"

Su jumped up, overjoyed to have an invention no one was upset about.

"It's huge—all the classics and a ton of contemporary stuff."

All seemed pleased at this, except a skeptical Shinobu.

"Su? How do you define what a classic is?"

"Huh?"

"I just mean---what are some of the selections on the Japanese list?"

"Well, only the classics, like I said---every anime and sentai theme for the past forty years. Isn't that great?"

Mitsune found the list on the machine's readout.

"People—we have no crooners or idols not involved in television themes. What about say, the American list, Su?"

"Their cartoons aren't as interesting—except for that one about the cavemen. So to round it out, I downloaded some weird stuff. People with names like Joel, Streisand, Collins, McLean, and some guys from New Jersey who sing during all four seasons. Lots of others---but---America and the rest of the West is just weird."

Motoko held her hand to her head, but finally smiled.

"If offered a choice between The Monkees and the sugar-raising theme to Steel Angel Kurumi, then I must reluctantly say: Go USA."

"No TV themes?"

Shinobu tried to comfort Su.

"We're gonna leave all those for you alone, Su. We know you'll make them great."

"Oh, we all will, Shinobu. See, I programmed it to cause the singer's voice to merge with the voice of the original artist as it plays back. Nobody needs to feel embarrassed. It's like the angel said: Don't worry that it's not good enough, for anyone else to hear, just sing a song."

Naru shook her head.

"What angel said that, Su?"

"Her name was Karen. I think she was related to the Christian Messiah, because she was a carpenter too. That was the only American music I really understood. I have to go there someday and find out how they recorded an angel's voice like that."

If the princess's astounding naiveté had been infuriating them these past few weeks, in this instance, it could not help but bring tears of joy. Naru went first, and knew well what song she would sing. Her eyes never left her man as she crooned, augmented by the voice of an angel gone too soon.

"Such a feelin's coming over me ; There is wonder in most everything I see

Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes ; And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

Everything I want the world to be ; Is now coming true especially for me

And the reason is clear, it's because you are here ; You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen

I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation ; And the only explanation I can find

Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around ; Your love's put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name ; And it's telling me that things are not the same

In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze; There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind ; When this day is through I hope that I will find

That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me ; All I need will be mine if you are here

I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation ; And the only explanation I can find

Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around ;Your love's put me at the top of the world."

Keitaro went next, but Naru stopped him.

"Sing one for everybody. You and I can settle up later."

Bypassing the theme for 'ZyuRanger', Keitaro went all the way to Long Island, New York for his inspiration.

"She can kill with a smile; She can wound with her eyes  
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies; And she only reveals what she wants you to see  
She hides like a child; But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to live; She can take you or leave you  
She can ask for the truth; But she'll never believe you  
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free  
She steals like a thief; But she's always a woman to me

Oh, she takes care of herself; She can wait if she wants  
She's ahead of her time; Oh, and she never gives out  
And she never gives in; She just changes her mind

She will promise you more; Than the Garden of Eden  
Then she'll carelessly cut you; And laugh while you're bleedin'  
But she'll bring out the best; And the worst you can be  
Blame it all on yourself; Cause she's always a woman to me

She is frequently kind; And she's suddenly cruel  
She can do as she pleases; She's nobody's fool  
But she can't be convicted; She's earned her degree  
And the most she will do; Is throw shadows at you  
But she's always a woman to me."

The women of Hinata-Sou all took turns hugging the perverted intruder after that one. Mitsune chose an odd one—Keitaro would have pegged her for 'Fun Fun Fun' by The Beach Boys, but instead she chose a song covered by a native New Yorker.

"I was born from love; And my poor mother worked the mines  
I was raised on the Good Book Jesus; Till I read between the lines  
Now I don't believe I want to see the morning; Going down the stoney end  
I never wanted to go; Down the stoney end  
Mama let me start all over; Cradle me, Mama, cradle me again

I can still remember him; With love light in his eyes  
But the light flickered out and parted; As the sun began to rise  
Now I don't believe I want to see the morning

Going down the stoney end; I never wanted to go  
Down the stoney end; Mama let me start all over  
Cradle me, Mama, cradle me again

Never mind the forecast; 'Cause the sky has lost control  
'Cause the fury and the broken thunders; Come to match my raging soul  
Now I don't believe I want to see the morning; Going down the stoney end I never wanted to go  
Down the stoney end; Mama let me start all over  
Cradle me, Mama, cradle me again."

Mutsumi helped Mitsune sit back down. Her tears were evident. Mutsumi turned to the others as she saw their concern.

"She just really likes Barbra Streisand."

After a moment for Mitsune to splash her face, Shinobu whispered to Su. Su nodded gleefully.

"Well, really, it's Swedish. But it's in there—along with a song about a fishing village that froze to death."

"We'll---stick with the---other—Swedish songs, Su."

Shinobu then put a finger on Keitaro's nose.

"Time for us to turn the tables, Sempai!"

The two waited for the intro beat to take over, and then began their 'vengeance'.

"You're so hot; Teasing me; So you're blue but I can't Take a chance on a kid like you  
It's something I couldn't do

There's that look; In your eyes I can read in your face; That your feelings are driving you wild  
But boy you're only a child

Well, I could dance with you honey; If you think it's funny  
But does your mother know that you're out?  
And I could chat with you baby; Flirt a little maybe  
But does your mother know that you're out?

Take it easy: Take it easy; Better slow down boy; That's no way to go  
Does your mother know?

Take it easy; Take it easy; Try to cool it boy; Take it nice and slow  
Does your mother know?

I can see; What you want; But you seem pretty young  
To be searching for that kind of fun; So maybe I'm not the one

Now, you're so cute; I like your style; And I know what you mean  
When you give me a flash of that smile; But boy you're only a child

Well, I could dance with you honey; If you think it's funny  
Does your mother know that you're out? And I could chat with you baby  
Flirt a little maybe; Does your mother know that you're out?

Take it easy; Better slow down boy; That's no way to go  
Does your mother know?

Take it easy; Try to cool it boy; Play it nice and slow  
Does your mother know?

Well, I could dance with you honey; If you think it's funny  
But does your mother know that you're out?; And I could chat with you baby  
Flirt a little maybe But does your mother know that you're out?"

Both girls practically fell onto Keitaro, who looked at Naru.

"They're just out of my league."

Naru nodded.

"You'll have to settle."

"Know anybody?"

"Just this one chick. I hear she's nuts, though. Violence-prone."

"She doesn't sound so ba…."

Each of the young girls seized Keitaro's head in turn and planted a kiss on his lips. Shinobu then bonked him on the head.

"Don't flirt with her while we're flirting with you, Moron!"

"Yeah, Onii-Chan---think of how other people feel for a change!

Keitaro looked at Naru.

"Tickle-fit?"

"It is called for."

"Hey!"

"nooooooo…."

The two would-be Abba members encountered their Waterloo at the hands and fingers of their not-so mature elders. Shinobu yelped.

"Motoko, Mitsune, I'm being molested!"

"It is wrong to brag on your good fortune, Shinobu."

"Besides, our samurai got hers earlier."

As she finally made Su pay—in a mostly playful manner—for all of Molmol and years of antics, Naru looked over at her man and the increasingly not-childlike young woman he was standing over. There was every chance of their relationship going out of control, and there was no chance at all of that happening, all at the same time. Naru came again to realize the ultimate price of her earlier abuse. His most tender relationship would never be with his wife, but with a woman that he, out of profound and deep loyalty to both ladies, would never touch. Her hard feelings softened when she realized their own love seemed tender to those watching it from the outside, and so it was for the love all there felt for one another.

*We've really got something here, and we maniacs nearly blew it up. Damn it all to hell. Mitsune's right—we have to be a lot more careful from now on.*

She looked down to see Su smiling at her.

"You tickle a lot better than Motoko!"

The warrior met the princess's stuck-out tongue with the same facial gesture, and a new path began to emerge for both of them. Naru looked at the sweaty, giggling Shinobu.

"Should I leave you two alone?"

Shinobu shook her head.

"You try and run out that door, I won't just hit you with the skillet, I'll fry you up and serve you with fish heads. He's all yours, lady---Sempai is just too high maintenance for a sweet young thing like me."

Naru honked her nose.

"He'd make an old woman out you in a week."

Shinobu turned and looked at Keitaro again.

"Well, we should put that to the test, shouldn't we?"

The two sisters hugged, another honk indicating firmly that this was not an option. Motoko took the mike next.

"I choose to sing from the works of Springfield."

Su raised her hand.

"Negi Springfield?"

Everyone else in the room looked at her, and spoke as one.

"Who?"

"In any event, Kaolla Su, I meant Dusty Springfield. Naru—know that in this, I speak of feelings of the heart, and not warnings or hints of my intent. Our brother is smart, and loyal, and has chosen. This is settled."

Naru shook her head.

"Geez, just sing, would you?"

Mitsune clapped.

"Yeah, get on with it. Belt out 'Son Of A Preacher Man' girl!"

"Not my choice in this matter. I choose something a bit more—effusive."

Motoko began, her grace in motion rarely more in evidence.

"I don't know what it is that makes me love you so; I only know I never want to let you go  
'cause you've started something; Oh, can't you see? That ever since we met; You've had a hold on me; It happens to be true  
I only want to be with you

It doesn't matter where you go or what you do; I want to spend each moment of the day with you  
Oh, look what has happened with just one kiss; I never knew that I could be in love like this  
It's crazy but it's true  
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me; And asked if I'd care to dance  
I fell into your open arms; And I didn't stand a chance  
Now listen honey; I just want to be beside you everywhere  
As long as we're together, honey, I don't care; 'cause you've started something  
Oh, can't you see? That ever since we met You've had a hold on me; No matter what you do  
I only want to be with you

Oh, oh, you stopped and you smiled at me; And asked if I'd care to dance  
I fell into your open arms; And I didn't stand a chance  
Now hear me tell you; I just want to be beside you everywhere  
As long as we're together, honey, I don't care; 'cause you've started something  
Oh, can't you see? That ever since we met; You've had a hold on me  
No matter what you do; I only want to be with you; I said no matter, no matter what you do  
I only want to be with you."

She looked at Keitaro, and then at Naru, who sighed.

"Last liplocks till the wedding, girls."

Motoko then kissed Keitaro for the second time.

"You who are not my destination—thank you for being my journey. Of all the moments we have shared, good and bad---"

She took his hand and squeezed it.

"I shall first remember the feel of the hand that was my lifeline."

Mutsumi's turn had come, but she seemed reluctant.

"I'm---not sure."

Mitsune pushed the mike into her hands.

"C'mon, you sure as hell got the lungs for it."

Mutsumi thought for a moment, then chose.

"You've mostly sung so sweetly of the shy, awkward romantic boy we all seem to have fallen for---but for myself, I prefer---"

She seized Keitaro by the head, and held him into her chest for ten seconds.

"Air!"

"---I prefer to celebrate his fun, perverted side."

Keitaro looked at Naru.

"That was hers."

"Yeah—it was. You get off with an arm punch."

"Looks like he was getting off just then."

"MITSU!"

"Ah, there's the old flavor. Mutsumi—take it away."

The lady with the pipes—not to mention a fair singing voice—started in.

"Told you once before; And I won't tell you no more  
Get down, get down, get down; You're a bad dog baby  
But I still want you 'round

You give me the creeps; When you jump on your feet  
So get down, get down, get down; Keep your hands to yourself  
I'm strictly out of bounds

Once upon a time I drank a little wine; Was as happy as could be, happy as could be  
Now I'm just like a cat on a hot tin roof  
Baby what do you think you're doin' to me

Told you once before; And I won't tell you no more  
So get down, get down, get down; You're a bad dog baby  
But I still want you 'round around; I still want you around

I don't give a damn; And I'd like you if you can to  
Get down, get down, get down; You're bad dog baby  
But I still want you 'round

Once upon a time I drank a little wine; Was as happy as could be, happy as could be  
Now I'm just like a cat on a hot tin roof; Baby what do you think you're doin' to me

Told you once before; And I won't tell you no more  
So get down, get down, get down; You're a bad dog baby  
But I still want you 'round around; I still want you around."

She swatted Keitaro across the nose.

"Bad Baby, Bad Dog Baby!"

Motoko once again took up some of Mitsune's former mantle.

"Finally, someone says it!"

Keitaro looked at her.

"What, finally? This is just the first time I've heard it put to song!"

Naru chuckled to herself as Keitaro began to sing the song just for her alone.

*I'm gonna have to watch all of them like hawks—thank you, Kami.*

When Keitaro fell to one knee before her, she thanked that same party yet again.

"Love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me  
I love you; I do, I do, I do, I do, I do  
I can't conceal it, don't you see, can't you feel it?  
Don't you too? ; I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

Oh, I've been dreaming through my lonely past  
Now I just made it, I found you at last

So come on, now let's try it, I love you, can't deny it  
'Cos it's true; I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

Oh, no hard feelings between you and me  
If we can't make it, but just wait and see

So Naru, let's try it, You love me, don't deny it  
'Cos it's true; I do, I do, I do, I do, I do  
So love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me  
I love you; I do, I do, I do, I do, I do  
I can't conceal it, don't you see, can't you feel it?  
Don't you too? ; Say I do, I do, I do, I do, I do."

He smiled at her, but it was not quite met back. He grew impatient.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Do you?"

She shrugged.

"I'm thinking it over!"

At Keitaro's direction, the two younger girls held her arms while he tickled her.

"Say it!"

"Keitaro!"

"SAY IT!!!"

In an unthinking moment, she moved to end the tickling. Keitaro caught the full of the punch, which immediately had her gasping at what she had again done.

"No—please—I am trying. I—"

Her panicked eyes sought immediate exit—only to find every possible avenue of escape blocked by her sisters.

"Uh-uh-uh! Onee has to answer Onii's question!"

"Don't dream of it Sempai."

"Not happening, girl."

"Face your worst moment, Narusegawa."

Mutsumi struck the hardest blow of all.

"You run off now—he's fair game, and that's not a joke."

Keitaro now grabbed her, and held her from behind, as she sobbed lightly.

"Why do you put up with me? Why can't I ever drive you away, you love-struck idiot?"

He turned her head and kissed her.

"We put up with each other. That's part of the deal. As to why you can't drive me away?"

He pushed her down, back onto the couch and leaned over into her face.

"You're not that strong."

Having met her own Waterloo, Naru never again tried to run away from her own heart. Instead, she embraced and kissed it like never before. She answered his question a second time.

"I Do."

Su jumped up and clapped her hands.

"One more song! All of us this time."

The exhausted group gave in reluctantly as Su pulled out another invention. Their clothes all changed to brightly colored pastel suits straight out of the 1970's.

"I watched this documentary series on the satellite dish. It was about a family that came together like ours did here. After some fighting, they got along so well, they even seemed to forget they weren't a family at the start! It ended kinda sad, though."

Shinobu saw that this had gotten to her friend.

*Wow…maybe she's MY oldest friend. Am I even old enough to have an oldest friend?*

"How did it end, Su?"

"Well, this cousin of theirs came to live with them, and some poor rabbits got chemicals spilled on them—and then they all went away."

Mitsune rolled her eyes.

"Geez—what was their story?"

The LED display projected on the nearby wall the different parts to be sung, and the moves to be emulated. Whatever Kaolla Su did and did not understand—and this was quite a bit—she had chosen her song very well indeed. Appropriately, Naru and Keitaro sang lead.

"Sha na na na, na na na na na, sha na na na na

Sha na na na, na na na na na, sha na na na na

Autumn turns to winter,

And winter turns to spring.

It doesn't go just for seasons you know,

It goes for everything.

The same is true for families,

When love begins to grow.

You gotta take a lesson from Grandma Nature,

And if you do you'll know.

When it's time to change, then it's time to change

Don't fight the tide, come along for the ride, don't you see

When it's time to change, you've got to rearrange

who you are into what you're gonna be.

Sha na na na, na na na na na, sha na na na na

Sha na na na, na na na na na, sha na na na na

Day by day, it's hard to see the changes you've been through

A little bit of living, a little bit of growing all adds up to you

Every boy's a man inside, a girl's a woman too

And if you wanna reach your destiny, here's what you've got to do

When it's time to change, then it's time to change

Don't fight the tide, come along for the ride, don't you see

When it's time to change, you've got to rearrange

who you are into what you're gonna be.

Sha na na na, na na na na na, sha na na na na

Sha na na na, na na na na na, sha na na na na."

They spun, fell, sung, mistook words, stumbled on each other's parts, and barely averted several wardrobe malfunctions. They proved how really horrendously tired they were, after what would always rank as one of the longest and harshest days of their long and happy lives. But they had fun, almost as much fun as Motoko would have, weeks later, explaining to Su the true nature of the 'documentary' she had seen.

But now the long day was done, and while as was said, a few stiff gusts still awaited, the family of Hinata Urashima was headed for bed. Keitaro gained a sudden nervous look, and spoke quickly.

"Mitsu—you'll be taking over Auntie's old room. With your things gone, some of the stuff she left should fit you till you can go shopping. Naru—upstairs!"

"Hey, cool down, lover. We have time."

He picked her up physically, rapidly ascending the staircase.

"We really don't. Su? How long did you program these clothes to last for?"

They were inside and their bedroom door closed when the Princess responded.

"Twenty Hours, Keitaro! Or was that…"

The ladies looked themselves over. They were all together in the all-together.

"…twenty minutes?"

Motoko smiled. At least she didn't have to undress before bed.

"Urashima may not be able to outrun fate—but perhaps he is learning to anticipate it."

Shinobu chuckled.

"We all know each other pretty well by now—why'd he run off like that?"

Mitsune gave a brief rueful comparative look at Mutsumi, confirming once and for all that the steam of the onsen had nothing to do with Otohime's supremacy in certain matters.

"Our brother's a smart man, kid. He knows we tend to lean on old familiar habits. Sudden Su-induced nudity is just as likely to be blamed on him, in the heat of the moment."

"So we haven't really changed? What was that song we just belted out? What was all of this about then?"

"Change is a slow process, Shinobu. In many ways, we are all still as children…"

Motoko grabbed up the already-napping Su. Lessons and restrictions would begin soon enough.

"…and children need to sleep."

Each headed for their rooms, and upstairs, even the 'happy humpers' as Mitsune had called them were fast asleep, their snuggled presence against each other proving for the moment as great a joy as unraveling the sexual tension that had built since a nude young woman entered the onsen and reached for a washcloth that wasn't.

Motoko wrapped her little heart in one of her own childhood robes and lay down at last.

"To sleep...perchance to dream."

* * *

Motoko Urashima awoke to find that her husband had already risen.

*He is enthusiastic about his katas. And I think Tsuruko has warmed to him.*

The smell of breakfast grains awaited her, as did the sight of her husband and sister sparring in the shrine's dojo area.

"You are doing well, little brother! Keep it up!"

"I will shang my chi for the merest hint of my onee-chan's possible approval."

*Already calling him little brother? That's not like---*

"Wife! Stop thought-speaking so loudly while we are in pitched combat!"

"Sorry, Ur—Keitaro!"

Tsuruko looked over at her with contempt.

"Oh, it is *you*. My brother's wife."

"Umm—he's your brother-in-law. I'm your sister."

"Brother! Silence your concubine's sharp tongue before I do!"

"Motoko—The head of our clan has ordered your silence—you will obey."

The two finished, and bowed to one another.

"You did well, my brother."

"I had an excellent teacher, Onee-Chan."

"Brother—have your serving girl clean up the battle area."

"Tsuruko, I am your---"

Tsuruko covered her ears as though in pain.

"Brother, IT'S speaking to me again. Punish its unforgiveable familiarity while you have your oatmeal."

Motoko entered into the toughest battle of her life against the absurdly-trained Keitaro. That is to say, the toughest battle of her life. Not his. With one hand, he battled her to a standstill. With the other, he ate breakfast and looked over the morning paper. Motoko collapsed from exhaustion.

"How—did you—get this good?"

"Oh, I did seventeen movie training montages when I arrived. Nothing better for strengthening mind body and soul."

"That's—that's ridiculous---"

Tsuruko ran in, bowling over the barely-risen Motoko.

"Oh, Brother, A Tragedy! My husband has left this world in some undefined cutaway moment it will take us twenty episodes and an omake epilogue to fully understand. I am widowed and alone."

Motoko reached out to her.

"I am so sorry, Tsuruko. He was a good man."

Tsuruko shook her head.

"We never even had time to hire a seiyuu for him. Brother, will you stand by me in this darkest of all times?"

He held Tsuruko close.

"Of course, Onee-Chan. Were I not your brother, I would offer you more than mere words of comfort."

"Why, Brother—I never knew you returned my feelings. This could even turn into a decent ecchi video, if we play our cards right."

Motoko shook her head.

"He's NOT your brother! He's my husband, and I'm your sister. The only thing making your love forbidden is me!"

The pair stopped.

"She's right—I forgot about all that. Tsuruko?"

"Yes, Keitaro?"

"Wanna kill her?"

"Oh, for a long time now. But what about the ecchi part?"

"Not to worry. Most of those vids don't feature actual brother/sister—just cousin, in-law, step, adopted, or 'grew up raised as'. Very few of them deliver the goods."

"The porn industry has no honor! Oh—Motoko?"

"Yes, Onee-Chan?"

"Say hello to my husband for me. Tell him I waited at least six months, for appearances' sake."

Motoko saw both of them raise ki attacks. She saw the swords descend towards her.

"Oh---boy."

The white light faded. Motoko heard a slightly older woman yelling at her.

"Nurse Aoyoma! Doctor Pierce just asked you a question."

"C'mon, Motoko—3-O silk. Snap it up!"

"Sorry, Doctor—Major Houlihan."

Motoko saw the room full of wounded soldiers.

*I hope this is a Henry Blake episode.*

* * *

Kessu walked the halls of the star-Sou JSDF Hinata's Journey. As usual, Captain Harukathryn Janeway was arguing a point with her First Officer.

"Mister Setoakay, there is only one Captain aboard this ship—and I say we're having taiyaki every night this week!"

"Careful, Captain—remember, half this crew were trained chefs before we came here, not archeologists like us."

"Sukiyaki then?"

"To break it up."

Naomi MacDougal brought up the rear of her feuding folks.

"Do you guys ever argue about us getting home?"

Kessu waved at her friend.

"Hi. Harriet. How'd your date go?"

Harriet Kitsune did not look happy.

"He turned out to be Galactus in disguise. I told him—we save planets for a living, he eats them. It would never work out."

"What about that other guy you were seeing?"

"He was a Cylon. Damn, I have rotten luck with guys."

Kessu checked out the galley.

"Hi, Shinoblix!"

"Oh, Hi, Kessu. Oh---QaNako erased all my recipe files. Now, Keitom Parishima and I will have to engage in a series of pointless bonding adventures to obtain more. But it beats them grimming up my character, I guess."

"But aren't you hot for him?"

"Yeah—but for some reason it all seems so slashy."

Deciding to see her friend as well, Kessu walked down to Engineering, where he was talking with Be'lannaru Torresegawa, the half-Klingdere Engineer. She punched Parishima.

"Moron!"

She kicked Parishima.

"Fool!"

She threw Parishima bodily.

"Expletive Untranslatable, Sounds Vaguely Yiddish!"

She kissed Parishima full on the lips, finally injuring him with her head ridges.

"Okay—I like that idea."

"What idea, guys?"

"Oh, hi, Kessu. Tuvoko—will you tell her?"

The fiery warrior devoted to emotional control and peace nodded.

"Indeed. Kessu—I have rated that you are no longer needed."

Kessu found herself inside an escape pod. Parishima shrugged.

"Sorry, Kessu. But we need to replace you with Mutseven Of 49DDD and her really tight catsuit."

The busty former MechaniGirl waved.

"With Cat-Ears!"

"Be'lannaru, don't let them do this!"

Torresegawa winked at her.

"Don't worry, Kessu—you get to save us all by blowing up, and then someday you'll come back as an inexplicably murderous, bitter old hag!"

As they prepared to blast her off, Kessu shouted.

"Wait! Is this because I went all Dark Phoenix when we visited MolCompa?"

They all responded as one as the button was pushed.

"Yes!"

As she flew out into endless space, Kessu resolved herself and accessed the food replicator.

"Computer---Bananas."

"Unable To Comply."

Her shriek was somehow heard even through the vacuum of the soundless void. And that's just silly.

* * *

Mitsu Konno saw Shinobu walk into the Sou. She looked unkempt.

"What's wrong, Shinobu?"

"Oh, Mitsu Ryobo-San! The evil spirits are out there in the city, wrecking relationships!"

"Wrecking relationships, you say?"

"Yeah. It's a lot like Sae from Peach Girl, only more-so and without any redeeming backstories."

*Sounds like my people are at it again, attacking the Humans. When will they learn?*

Mutsumi walked in, nodding.

"I was only meeting my brother for lunch, but the spirits said I was probably lying about that, so they told him I cheated on him. He thought I meant checkers, and now he won't speak to me!"

Motoko was crying.

"They painted my sword psychedelic colors—because they heard that a warrior's best relationship is with their weapon."

Su looked outside at the swirling chaos.

"Mitsu—maybe you and I should take a look out there—ya know?"

"Great idea, Su."

"Not a great idea! Mitsu, you and I have a date for lunch."

"Sorry, Keitaro—but I won't be long."

"Oh, let her be forever, Keitaro! My fabulously wealthy parents will pay for a faboo lunch at the very best places!"

"I guess I will, Naru—since Mitsu is always doing this to me. Hmmph!"

The pair walked out, while Su and Mitsu went in the other direction.

"She's so cheap, Mitsu! Why do you always let her get so close to Keitaro? He's your boyfriend."

"She's her own worst nemesis, Kaolla Su. Mine awaits me in Tokyo City—or rather it awaits---"

Summoning up energies of the good tricksters of legend, Mitsu took on her even hotter superhuman form.

"KITSUNE KAMEN! THE MASKED FOX!"

"Umm—that's what Kitsune Kamen means—just like Zorro in Spanish."

"No time for that, Su. Now run into the city and be danger bait!"

"Gotcha!"

Flying along, the mighty Kitsune Kamen disrupted the work of the spirits that were part of her tragic mixed heritage.

"No, Sir—your girlfriend couldn't possibly be pregnant right after last night. It takes a while longer than that."

"No, Ma'am—your husband is an empty husk of a man. He can barely satisfy you, let alone participate in an orgy."

"I think you two may be a couple from another manga—misunderstandings like this are just par for the course, when he's afraid of shoes, and she's a dragon cast in Human form."

A voice boomed out.

"So, once again you undo my designs, Kitsune Kamen!"

"Well, if it isn't my evil half-sister Disguisa, Mistress Of Disguises!"

Disguisa shook her head.

"Why do you always add that last part? I mean, I'm already called Disguisa. I think most people just see the next part as implicit."

"Enough talk! We fight!"

"Not so fast, sister! For I have your little friend."

"Good work Su."

"Thanks, KK!"

"Ehhh—you wouldn't dare drop her."

Disguisa did just that. Su plummeted faster than the popularity of a mangaka who bails before finishing the series.

"Now you can save her, or…owww! Aren't you even going to try and save her?"

Kitsune Kamen punched at her half-sister.

"She'll go through a series of humiliating and disgusting mishaps, then complain to me at the end of the adventure, but she'll live. Now, stop disrupting established relationships, Disguisa!"

"I do no such thing. I merely cause people to raise logical questions about their unworkable relationships. Men very often find me a better match for their friends than their current girlfriend."

"But most women consider you an unwanted element in something that was moving along just fine without your ironic commentary."

"You win this round, Kitsune Kamen. But like Elmyra Duff, I'll keep returning despite my lack of popularity!"

Flying back to the Hinata-Sou, Kitsune Kamen resumed her mortal form as conservative Ryobo Mitsu Konno. Su was awaiting her.

"Mitsu! I fell into sewage, was attacked by dogs, and got mistaken for an eco-terrorist!"

"Oh, that wacky Su!"

"Hello, I'm right here."

Inside, Naru was her usual self.

"Hmmph! Look who bothered to show up, after missing all the excitement."

Keitaro hugged his true love.

"Oh stop it Naru. Sure she's a bit unreliable and inattentive, but we all can't be like the wondrous beautiful Kitsune Kamen."

Mitsu turned and winked. Keitaro stared.

"Who were you winking at?"

When all had left but her, Mitsu received a phone call.

"It's Disguisa, sister dear. You want a happily ever after? Check the writing credits on this piece."

Mitsu opened up her own manga, looked where she was bid, and then shrieked in purest horror.

"Go Nagai and Yoshi Tomino?!!!!"

* * *

The young girl again heard those heartbreaking words.

"Shinobu Maehara will not be my mistress."

But now those words were changed as well.

"She will be my wife."

They were back at the Sou, not the restaurant.

"But what about Naru?"

He laughed.

"Naru Narusegawa? You mean that crazy violent girl who was placed into an insane asylum, before I ever came back here?"

"Yeah. That would be the one. What about Kanako?"

"My sister who works in Hollywood doing special effects? Haven't seen her in years—her or her husband."

She asked about the others, and one and all, they were nowhere to be found or seen.

"Why are you asking me all this, Shinobu? It's been you and me since we were kids. Now, on our eighteenth birthday, no law can hold us back any longer."

"Our eighteenth birthday?"

Delighted, they walked upstairs together, and it happened. Her mind fought against the limits of imagining something she had never actually done before. In the afterglow, she further imagined their lives together.

"This is so wonderful. I am so happy. Just wait until I tell—until I tell---"

Who would she tell? Who would she talk to? Who would she seek advice from? Who could she rely on to always come through for her? Who could she feel good and safe around? After all, this man was not her Sempai. He was just a boyfriend, a lover--, maybe a husband. All great things, and surely she loved him dearly and truly and forever. But did gaining the one she loved mean forever losing him in the very special way that she had come to love him?

"I—want him back. I don't want the perfect uncontested boyfriend. I want a sweet awkward fool who never gets how much I really care, because he's too busy thinking of helping me, and too damned forgiving of my flaws and weaknesses. I want the infuriating guy who makes me blush, and who falls into my boobs, and who apologizes far too often when he's the one who's owed an apology. So---please bring him back."

She closed her eyes, and the young woman again heard those wonderful words.

"Shinobu Maehara will not be my mistress."

She smiled and felt tears of joy fall from her eyes as she responded.

"I understand completely---Sempai."

* * *

Mutsumi led them all into the onsen, where their man was waiting for them. The towels dropped. He was theirs, and they were his, with no dominance or selfishness, and no limits on behavior. Everything was allowed, and flesh met flesh in endless combinations.

No questions were asked, and no one was shamed. The youngest were among the boldest, and the oldest the most patient as things built to a crescendo—not of sex, but of their love—though sex was had a lot, to be certain.

When all was done, they rose from an onsen that now really needed cleaning, dressed and ran outside to the sandbox. There they reverted instantly to five year olds, all at the same time, and their innocent play was as joyful as the joining of their more mature bodies had ever been.

*But we're still fighting over Keitaro.*

Even that was fun and playful, and he was far less nervous than normal. Naru was hale and hearty, and Shinobu not intimidated by an age difference. Among rambunctious five year olds, Su hardly stood out at all. Motoko was not yet of age to be tasked, and Mitsune's touchy-feely grabbiness was just par for the course.

*Kami, let this moment last forever.*

Yet one by one, their parents came for them. Finally, three remained, and they stood to make that fateful promise—only to have the Urashimas and Narusegawas snatch their children up before it could be done. Sad faces were seen and little waves receded in the distance as little Mutsumi was left alone in the sandbox, her only wish being to see her friends again. The world grew cold as they left her, and the little girl began to cry. Finding the courage to rise from the sandbox, she became an adult again, willing now to live in a world where feelings so deeply felt can't always be expressed, but are nonetheless very real. In the distance, she glimpsed preparations for a wedding. She smiled wickedly.

*Well, this is MY dream, after all…*

* * *

Naru tiptoed toward the one she had offended. She adjusted her spectacles, and wished she could manage contacts, like him.

"Ummm—Urashima?"

"What is it now, idiot? And at least try calling me Keitaro."

"I'm realllly sorry—for sliding into the onsen like that."

She felt herself fly back from a casual punch. She never even saw him form a fist, nor did he look up from his studies to do it.

"That's for reminding me of it. You plan these things, don't you?"

"No! I just---just—"

The indignant look on his face was both terrifying and alluring at the same time.

"You just keep pushing me further and further away from the kind of pure status a woman of means and culture wants maintained in her future husband. Is that your plan, pervert? To make sure I have to settle for a future salarywoman like yourself—if you even do that well?"

*'A woman is the place the world begins.' So why do I always feel like the other end?*

Naru felt a blow to the back of her head.

"Is this voyeuristic monster bothering you again, Keitaro? I should make her incapable of pumping out potential hellspawn."

The young man was lithe and tough, almost looking like a samurai's bow and arrow in one being. Keitaro waved him off.

"I can handle this molest-happy fool, Moto. By the way, your brother called. Said he was coming over."

"Noooo---not Tsurito! Narusegawa—do I terrify you?"

"Alll---the time---errrr, Moto. I live in fear of life and limb because of you."

"Oh, why am I asking? A cowardly Peeping Godiva like you jumps at every last shadow."

As Naru tried to walk away, she heard one young boy talking to another.

"It wasn't until 1920 that American Men were finally granted the vote, and only in the past decade has their military even allowed men into combat, for fear of reproductive injury leading to a population decline…oh, hi, Sempai!"

The fresh, sweet smile of cutie Shinobi Maehara was a rare bright spot in this place.

"Hi. Shinobi! How's your stud…"

Two feet bounced off of Naru's skull amid gleeful laughter.

"Wow, you're tough. How are they hanging, Onee-Chan?"

"Konga Ru! You shouldn't speak to Sempai like that—especially not about her---ooohh."

"It's—okay—Shinobi. They're hanging well, Ru."

"Can I see them? I'll bet my sister the queen has bigger ones. I wish I'd been born to her. Hey—maybe I can make that happen!"

The boy with the wild look and sun-bleached hair pulled an invention from his loincloth.

"This device will either regress me back to before my current incarnation—or---"

Naru saw Shinobi's and her own shirt disappear. Shinobi shrieked.

"Eeekk! Do not gaze in lust upon that which feeds the world! Ohhhh—I'm looking!!"

Naru tried to calm the young boy.

"Shinobi—they're just boobs. Help me find something to cover myself—"

Konga Ru shrugged.

"Maybe I can adjust this thing to do dry cleaning."

"Waahhhhhh!! I've disobeyed one of Kami's laws! She'll send me to Hell with Lilith and all her fallen angels!"

A burp and the smell of beer came through. Naru, who had just found a t-shirt, felt her hand placed on something bumpy. A sly, well-muscled man smiled. Only the friendly if clumsy 'Mutt' Otohime had a bigger overall package—not to mention accessory. Matsui 'Loki' Konno had one of his wanton eyes hidden, as always.

"Okay. I've just allowed you to handle my area of true worth. That's good for a month's rent, right?"

Cries echoed all around Naru.

"Loki—hold her!"

Shinobi was crying his pretty little face off.

"I saw them! I SAW THEM!!! SEMPAI'S A JERK!"

Moto pulled out his sword.

"Is that how you get off? Exposing your 'power' to babies?"

Loki was no longer smiling.

"That poor kid may never recover."

Keitaro ground his fist into his hand.

"You think that just because this is a boys' dorm, you can come in here and do whatever you want?"

She found herself to be quite durable, but all these boys were insanely strong, able to hit with skill and speed rather than just being able to lift heavy weights and supports. Konga Ru just kept jumping on her head, not in anger, but that didn't seem to help much.

"YOU MADE SHINOBI CRY!!"

"Please—Urashima—you have to understand!"

Seemingly disinterested in her torture, her Uncle Noriyasu sat back in the distance, smoking a cigarette while chastising his girlfriend (but never call her that to his face) for her horrendous driving habits.

"What do I have to understand, Naru, huh? That we used to be able to walk safely in our own home, till Grandma made her only mistake ever and placed you and your pervy hands in the midst of our happy lives?"

"Grandma?"

"Yeah, that doesn't change. It's always Grandma."

She reached out to him, the boy she still felt closer to than many of the friends that had mocked her lack of dominance over what they had crudely called the 'hairballs'. Sadly, as she tried to get herself back up off the floor, a tug caused Keitaro's pants to come down.

"You're not wearing any---"

A kick sent her flying through the roof. As she flew ever further into the sky, she looked up at the heavens.

"O-kay! I GET IT! I think I kind of got it already…"

She awoke in her bed, next to Keitaro, who looked at her very sadly.

"I still can't believe you stayed, after all we put you through—especially early on. Why, what with Ru and Sam McDougal alone…"

Naru smiled. Tasked with the burden she had placed upon Keitaro, she now got to reap its ultimate reward.

"It's like I told you, Urashima—you're not that strong. None of my boys are. Now get ready for some good lovin."

And for the moment before the dream ended, she felt a bit of the good side of seeing things from another perspective.

*Cultural Dominance. I could come to like it.*

* * *

He saw her rise from the bed, just a little scared.

"I want to have it. It is ours."

Keitaro reached to take Naru's hand, but it turned into Motoko's as she rose.

"Both our lives will change. Mine will only be the most obvious."

As she stumbled but did not fall, she shifted into Mitsune.

"Kind of should have been more careful. Not that I actually would have been."

As she turned to look at him, she became Mutsumi.

"It may have to become his or her dream instead of ours now. They do cost money."

She pulled him close, and became Shinobu.

"We didn't do anything I didn't want to. I'm scared, but I can't not treasure the result."

He cupped her cheek, and that cheek now belonged to Su.

"You will be the greatest father ever. Can I still call you Onii-Chan?"

All of a sudden, they were all there, and all pregnant. The evidence of his huge irresponsibility and thoughtlessness stared him in the face. He grew badly frightened, and he saw the ladies rise up as though to punish him. But this he stopped.

"Even if this is all real—three years ago, I thought that entering Todai and gaining your acceptance were both impossible. If those things can be done, then I vow to make this work. Because we will make it work. It won't be a dream at first—but it can become one. Will you stand with me, fool and jerk though I am?"

Shinobu rose up, her stomach already visibly larger. She handed him a document.

"This is your quest. If you want our love and forgiveness, fulfill it."

Keitaro took the document, and found a place that could aid him in fulfilling the quest his wives had demanded as penance.

"So---you want 10 barrels of pickles, and 100 gallons of Butter Pecan Ice Cream?"

* * *

It was the year 2100. The old woman in the bed smiled at the young woman before expiring. The woman, somewhere around her late 20's, tried her best to sob. After so many goodbyes, it was getting hard to manage it, even for one she had held when the old woman was brand new to the world.

"Goodbye, Sarah."

She walked over to another room where someone else she knew was leaving this world, and there saw a handsome young man standing by another elderly lady's bedside.

*She still has the sweetest look.*

It obviously hurt the younger man to see the dying woman this way, but he kept as much of this back as he could.

"I will always think of you as you were that first night we met."

"And—to me---you will always be---sempai---ohhh—I feel—"

The two funerals were held the same day. The survivors walked off together.

"Keitaro, do you dye your hair?"

"Hydrogen Peroxide. It's too hard to explain why I'm buying silver dye."

Back at his apartment, she lay back in bed and waited for a moment that had been a century in the making. Keitaro looked at her. They had first discussed this thirty years before, when Naru's old illness had suddenly kicked up again. It had seemed at the time too much like a desperate option, based on their common status, which was rapidly leaving them alone and having to lie as a matter of course. Sarah's granddaughter thought her long dead, and her daughter in turn thought her just an old family friend.

"You sure you wanna do this?"

It was at Su's 'investiture as Goddess' that Grandma pulled them both aside and said that their happiness was more important to her than any law—except writing her more often.

"I'm sure. It's too hard hooking up, only to watch them age. Besides, everyone who might to know to object is gone—and I think that I have always loved you."

They kissed, and his delight in simply being around her was apparent. As he prepared to finally consummate a very old love, she held him back for one last question.

"Keitaro?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think—sometimes---?"

"Yeah?"

She smiled.

"---just for fun, do you think that sometimes, you could still call me Auntie?"

* * *

Haruka Urashima-Seta awoke in her bed, next to her husband, who was not her nephew, despite the comparisons she had made. Her dream had been a disturbing one for her—and it was not even the first one she'd ever had on the subject.

"What happened?"

She broke down and told him, and he smiled.

"Hey, you're only eight years his senior, and at times you've been very close. Look, if it really bothers you, go and see your friend. You were talking about it anyway."

"You're right. Hey, sorry to wake you."

He kissed her.

"Just to get myself tired again, I'm gonna take a brief walk. You okay?"

"I am now. Thanks, Nori-Chan."

Noriyasu Seta got dressed, and walked out into the early morning air by his home. He kept walking, judged the distance by the sound of his footsteps, and when he was far enough away to be 100% sure, he offered up an extra, more privately kept opinion on the subject matter of his new bride's dream. This opinion was concise and to the point.

"Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!!"


	11. Epilogue The Woman Who Digs Her Family

**Epilogue - The Woman Who Digs Her Family**

* * *

KINGDOM OF MOLMOL, AUGUST, 2001

Haruka Seta, nee' Urashima, held her man in a tight grip, fully intending to never let him go.

"Ohhhh…Haruka."

"Yes, Noriyasu?"

The door to their room was closed, and Sarah sent off to sleep with Su and Motoko. They were all alone for many miles. Their activities would not be heard.

"I think…you better stop."

Haruka leaned up close and smiled in Seta's goofy face.

"I may just never let you go."

Haruka, you see, was holding her man tight. But she was not embracing him.

"Ruka, it hurts!"

For you see, Haruka was holding her man—by his manhood, and not at all in a tender way. Noriyasu Seta was learning just how tough an immortal's nails can feel, as they slowly close around a region the toughest of men get antsy about.

"Even if you kick me square in the jaw, I'm not letting go."

"You know I wouldn't—even if that would stop you."

Gambling hard against an angry woman, Seta called her bluff.

"Unless you want this to be a very technical kind of marriage, I have to ask you to let go."

She did, but a quick close of her hand like an arcade's mechanical claw reminded him of his constant peril.

"Why in the hell did you have to involve him?"

"I needed his help in getting the artifact---"

Her disdainful look was followed by another claw motion.

"Don't make me call Old Hank, Seta! He's over 100, but he'll whip the truth out of you if I ask him to."

"Do you have to remind me about you two?"

"Hey…he's as Human as the next man."

"But I was the next man!"

"Geez—you never figured that out that we tricked you? I don't have a grandpa complex. You were—the first man—and one of the only ones, too."

"Thanks—but you're not gonna call him, are you?"

Haruka sighed. Old Hank was the supreme legend of all archeologists, and the subject of multiple feature films. He was also Seta's sempai, and the terror displeasing the old man held for Seta made Motoko's relationship with Tsuruko seem like Shinobu's relationship with Keitaro.

"Not if you tell me the real reasons why you grabbed up my nephew, moments from achieving his childhood dream."

"Well, his being immortal does mean I'd have someone sure to reach Toudai alive."

"That's a start. But I always know when you're holding back."

He sighed.

"I had reasoned out that Kaolla Su was Molmolian royalty by the marks on her head. Since the Molmol Military was not in a mood to listen to me, and I knew Su was sweet on him, I figured he might be able to speak to her at best, or serve as a distraction at worst."

She nodded.

"Keep going."

"Why? I've told you everything."

It was possible, maybe even likely, that some of the Urashimas' 'family secret' had been transferred to Seta by his times with Haruka—particularly one just two months before. But for all this, he was not an Urashima, and as Haruka began to punch at him, he was reminded of this anew.

"You allowed those two kids to have their dream transferred over to this madhouse, where that lovable little lunatic went nutsier than usual!"

Each punch came ever closer to its mark, the same area Haruka had targeted just a minute ago.

"That caused the fax to feed those lonely girls' dreams with the idea they could still step in and take him!"

If bluffing, she seemed quite serious as each blow was barely dodged.

"You single-handedly managed to roil up underlying tensions that could have..."

She stopped just shy of hitting her target, in part because an inner voice told her not to, and in part because only the arena for the madness could be laid at his feet.

"…that could have erupted at almost any time, over anything. Honey—I don't want to be upset with you. But those are my kids, and they really don't need any help in the crazy making department."

He got up, and held her as he often did when her rages were all spent.

"Why was this time so different than every other crazy time?"

"That I can answer. Kei and Naru were never so determined to reach the finish line. Su was never more out of anyone's control. Kitsune was never so blinded by her feelings for Keitaro, to the point where angling pushed her past simple pain in the ass into intestinal blockage territory. Motoko's still so knew to admitting her feelings—or that she even has them—that another chance at Keitaro was irresistible. Poor Shinobu has always felt crowded out, and trusted the wrong people to help her say what she wanted to. She still came very close to back-stabbing Naru, though. When she told me about the airship, I actually grabbed her skillet and broke off its handle on a rock, in front of her. She didn't complain. She gets it. But I wonder if the others do. It's like—what was usually fun and games, or part of how they got along, turned from slapstick and misunderstanding to just plain cruel and vicious. Now it has me worried—Hey!"

She pointed at him.

"You STILL haven't told me the real reason you absolutely had to grab him. Hubby, there's one more, and I want to know it."

Seta finally gave in.

"I wanted him at Toudai to challenge me for the right to finalize our love there. I knew at least you and Naru would follow. I had to beat him in front of the two of you. I wanted to be that superhero sempai in Naru's eyes one last time, and I---"

His face had the look it had when she mock-threatened his manhood.

"---I had to beat him in front of you. I had to finally, once and for all, win you from him."

She shook her head.

"What in the hell are you saying?"

"Ever since you mentioned this determined little boy, I've felt like I was in competition with him. He's far from all you ever talk about, and you're not all he talked about while we were in America. But any time one of you mentions the other—it became clear that you were talking about something more than a cousin, nephew, or even a sibling. Each of you was talking about your first love. But beating the nervous kid I found when I finally met him would have meant nothing. So I took him, trained him to his best potential—and only then was I ready to best him and really claim your love, once and for all."

She smiled, sniffed, and wiped a tear from her eye.

"That is, without a doubt, the sweetest---"

And Then She Belted Him Across The Chops.

"---and at the same time the DUMBEST thing I have ever heard from you. Keitaro and I---"

Seeing that her new husband was unconscious, she also saw just how much he looked like someone else. Haruka placed him in bed, put a pillow beneath his head, and tucked him in before kissing him on the cheek.

"Keitaro and I have got to resolve some things."

Wandering out to the beach to work out some thoughts, she was surprised to see her nephew digging for artifacts at a time she was certain he'd be going seismic with Naru. She thought back to the first time he had ever called her 'Auntie'. She then asked him a tender question as typical of their relationship as it would be unexpected by one who didn't know them.

"What the hell are you doing?"

The talk that followed would speak of family secrets, and of feelings she hadn't always made clear to him, but that he knew of anyway. It also spoke of the war to come between the sisters of the Hinata-Sou. By the time all was done, she had never felt closer to her nephew, and also dared to think that her feelings for him were now completely resolved.

To be fair, she was much closer to her nephew.

* * *

MID-TOWN TOKYO, THE MORNING OF AUGUST 18TH, 2001

"I'm here to see Doctor Kashigawa."

The secretary was an older American woman, somewhat heavyset, but inherently friendly looking.

"Oh—you must be Emily's friend. She said she was looking forward to seeing you."

"Well, this isn't a social visit. But I will be glad to see her. Is she the group therapist I saw listed on the placard?"

The woman laughed.

"No. Doctor Hartley still handles that, and Emily would never think of infringing on Sempai Bob's territory. She was named for his wife, after all."

Haruka shook her head.

"I never knew that. But then, she and I were never as close as we could have been."

"Another one, huh?"

"Eh?"

The woman extended her hand.

"I'm Carol, by the way. As for Emily, let's just say I sometimes think she spent her childhood drumming up future business for when she became a psychologist."

An older, mostly balding American man walked up to the desk.

"Carol, is my salaryman group here yet?"

"Waiting in your office, Bob."

"D-Did you confiscate all their sharp objects?"

"All the metal ones. Though I think Samara-San may try to commit seppuku with a piece of really stale baguette."

The man shook his head.

"You can leave Chicago…"

Haruka chuckled.

"Hard times?"

Bob looked at her.

"Ever run a long group therapy session?"

Haruka thought it over.

"For about the last eight or so years."

Bob nodded.

"That—that's a pretty long one."

Bob disappeared into his office. A moment later, Haruka heard a voice that used to give her hives.

"Urashima!"

Short-cut hair, elegant clothes, as always she looked like a woman most men would bypass Haruka in favor of—just as they always had, when those men were boys—and the two women were girls.

"Kashigawa. Repairing the mental wounds you inflicted on the greater Tokyo area?"

"It does pay the bills. It finally replaced the nose you broke!"

Carol nodded before speaking.

"You two are really good friends, aren't you?"

Doctor Kashigawa shrugged.

"You know me too well, Carol. Hold all my calls. If Urashima is giving in and actually taking me up on my wedding gift, it must be juicy."

Once inside, Kashigawa opened her arms.

"C'mon—we've been there and back."

Haruka did in fact hug her, a thousand old insults exchanged coming to mind and only making them feel all the closer.

"Now, 'Ruka—your Granny never thought much of psychiatry, and neither did you. So what brings you here?"

Haruka sat down on the couch.

"Emi—I think I may be losing my mind."

"That covers a lot of ground. Is it your new marriage?"

"No—my marriage is something I'm afraid of losing in all this, though."

"Okay—being a mother for the first time?"

Haruka rolled her eyes.

"Try for the fifteenth time. Ryobo, remember?"

"Not quite the same thing."

"Yeah---but it's not Sarah. We've been good for a long time, and now we're even better."

"Granny Hina okay?"

"Oh, sure. She gets to make all these plans and schemes and remotely puppeteer all of us while traveling the world. Why wouldn't she be fine?"

Kashigawa wrote in her notes.

"No resentment there, huh?"

Haruka pshawed.

"Definitely something there, but that's not what's bugging me. Emi, I've been having dreams about being with this guy I know."

"Right after finally marrying Seta?"

"I'm not proud of it. But the dreams still come."

"Dreams will come, Urashima."

Haruka looked out the office window. It had a nice view of the city.

"I know that. If it were a movie star or fantasy figure, I'd have no problem. I'd just ask Nori to dress up as them. He's always game for mixing things up. But it's a real guy---someone I've known since we were kids."

"Someone I'd remember?"

Haruka clammed up and sat down after that. Emily Kashigawa sighed.

"May I remind you that we aren't catty teens anymore, and that I won't run out and tell everyone we know?"

Haruka nodded, and gave in.

"Yeah. It's just—I never thought I'd be in this kind of position. Emi, the guy in my dreams?"

She breathed in before speaking.

"It's my nephew."

Kashigawa wrote something down, seemed to be recalling something, and then looked at Haruka while shaking her head.

"Little Keitaro? Kei-Kun, The Baby Boob-Grabber? You---you have a thing for a boy who must be what, sixteen years old?"

Haruka shook her head as well.

"I trained him to grab all of you like that. And Emi? He's twenty-two."

"No---no, he's not. Maybe---maybe eighteen."

"Twenty-Two."

"—a big for his age going-on nineteen—"

"Twenty-Two. Emi, I'm thirty, and he's eight years younger than me."

Kashigawa continued to shake her head.

"Which would make him---oh, my God! A baby I cooed at and tickled is twenty-two, and one of my oldest friends has turned into an incestuous pedophilic stalker with latent maniacal tendencies---"

Kashigawa caught Haruka's glare.

"—err—but she's good people. So? Can I see a picture?"

Haruka produced a photo of the two couples at Toudai in Molmol.

"Ooooh—our little pal seems to have filled out—to say nothing of the rest of his body. Who's that with him?"

"That's Naru---his---his fiancée. Seta is sempai to both of them."

"Naru Narusegawa?"

"You know her?"

"I know of her. When I first set up practice, the girls of the Hinata-Sou used to provide me with an endless stream of boys and men—some girls, all badly traumatized. Dried up suddenly about three years ago---wait—you don't mean?"

Haruka nodded.

"Grandma made him landlord. They tried their damndest to get rid of him. He was forever walking in on them while they were nude---"

"In a hotel with an onsen? Imagine that."

"Emi, don't apply logic to their relationship."

Kashigawa shrugged.

"Okay I won't. Besides, it's not those girls he conquered that concerns me. It's the aunt he appears to have done that to. How long have you had this itch---I mean these dreams?"

"They've really only gotten explicit of late."

"Of late? Does that mean you've dreamed of this geeky little hunk before?"

Haruka sank on the couch a bit.

"Really—all my life."

Kashigawa phrased her next question carefully.

"How many of them have been explicit?"

"None—till last night."

"How far?"

Haruka was actually blushing.

"Just shy of it."

"So what happened?"

"We—were like those Highlander stories—like we were some kind of long-lived---errr—"

Kashigawa raised an opened palm.

"Listen, 'Ruka. The day we had that big fistfight over who Juni liked better? We both hit each other in the nose. An hour later, I practically had my face iced over, trying to keep the swelling down. The only thing you faced was Grandma Hina ripping you a new one. We all kind of got what you were—that, and we---kind of dropped Kei-Kun a few times when we played beach-ball with him."

"Why were you holding him for beach-ball?"

"Well, he was the ball. It was those damned Jell-O shots. He seemed to like it—but this one time a little girl crawled over and bit me on the ankle for doing that---noooo! You're kidding!"

Haruka nodded.

"And she was sickly back then, to boot."

They got back on subject.

"Emi, I'm starting to have sex dreams about a kid who I was supposed to protect from lecherous old perverts—like me."

"Backtrack a bit. Was this or was this not the first really explicit dream?"

"It was the first one where we got naked, or in the clinch."

"Okay. What happened in the others? Near misses?"

Haruka shook her head.

"They only recently took on even a romantic air, let alone a sexual one. Usually, it's just been us being happy together. When I was a kid, and school got me down, he'd be there in my room, and we'd play board-games. When I was a teen, we'd walk down to the flavored ice stand. It's never even been a steady thing. Sometimes, I'd have these dreams when we hadn't seen each other for years. The arcades, the boardwalk, a long bike ride. All of it always innocent."

She wasn't quite fighting back tears, but her rise in emotion was apparent.

"When I lost my folks, Grandma did her best—I mean even above and beyond what everyone knows and loves about her. But she is of a different generation, and sometimes, I still felt so damned alone. The rest of the family tried to help. But I didn't want to belong to all of them. With me and Keitaro, it was like we had our own little family—just us two. Yeah, he'd break down and cry and give up like every five seconds, but every other five seconds he'd just keep on. We had each other, and that was all we needed—except for food, clothing, a roof over our heads---you get the picture."

"You know—all of us envied you having him."

"None of you envied me anything."

Kashigawa laughed.

"Baka! Two things a girl that age always thinks will solve all her problems is a boyfriend and a baby. In him, you had both. So what do you think changed in your relationship?"

"I guess it all started when he came back to manage the Sou."

Haruka thought back.

"They could not stop beating on him in those days, and he could not find his way past doing something that embarrassed and humiliated himself and everyone else. Bonus points if it involved Shinobu."

"Shinobu the screamer?"

"How---?"

Kashigawa nodded.

"Three or so of your former residents also made their way here. Shinobu Maehara's lungpower and tear duct capacity is a thing of legend. Did you know that some people don't think that anyone really lives at the Hinata-Sou? They say it's haunted. That a group of wailing banshees there eternally torment a poor lost soul, and their wails can be heard even at Fuji's summit."

"Aren't banshees Irish? Anyway—they pound on him—and they demand of me that I throw him the hell out."

Haruka grinned.

"I could not have been more delighted."

"That these psychos were pounding on your nephew?"

"He could take it. It was always mental strength he lacked. A woman's raised voice held more terror for him than any physical torment. Heh. Naru still doesn't know that, for about a year before he left for America—his pain threshold had gotten so high—he had to force himself to cry during her beatings."

"Don't ever tell her that. People hate it when they learn their partner's been faking it."

"Anyway, my delight came from the fact that these whiny brats—who I love dearly—finally had their comfortable wool festival broken up. Grandma had dropped a sausage bomb in their midst, and this one was not going away—until he did—in which case they all fetched him right back."

Doctor Kashigawa chuckled.

"True love, huh?"

"Oh, you wouldn't have survived saying that during the first year—maybe even during the second. But it became pretty clear that he was now 'their pervert'. One time, they took down another group of girls bothering him at the beach. Stripped and then tied them up by their bikinis, even gave him permission to look. He promptly cut them down, of course—at which point they offered to have him move in with them, away from the 'witches'. He never even considered it—and then the girls beat him for looking at the ones they stripped—that they had given him permission for—etc."

"And—you're the one who came to see a psychiatrist? Haruka, it sounds a lot like you're very fond of all these kids."

"Shinobu, everyone just wants to protect. Su's the same, except they also want to maybe one day figure her out. Motoko tried to build a shield against the world of men—but Kei was always breaking things. Kitsune is Kami's vengeance on me for Grandma—that's why I gave her my old job when I left. Naru---Naru---"

Kashigawa noted some of Haruka's body language.

"Naru apparently has you forming a fist."

Haruka punched the couch.

"One day, I came home to find he had a black eye from her. Do you have any idea how hard she must have gone at him, to leave a mark that's visible? I came that close to batting her around myself—but I knew he would have felt more pain than she would have."

"And you care about his pain."

"You don't hold a baby and then stop caring because they're too big for that now."

"Ruka, I've certainly heard about this girl in passing from others. Let me hear your take on her."

Haruka raised a finger.

"Too late, shrinker. I already tumbled to the thought that Naru and I are a lot alike, and that Kei and Seta are too. We're good with that. I thought I'd put all this behind me."

Kashigawa shrugged.

"Ruka, I think I nailed something down here. Your dreams haven't been predatory---they've been progressive. What were some of your more recent ones?"

"Shopping—dancing. Grabbing some taiyaki and lemonade. Happy stuff."

"What changed between those dreams and the big one?"

Haruka had seen this before, but never quite so starkly.

'The baby had become a man. The man chose his wife—and it wasn't me."

She lay back.

"Ok. Completely pathetic now."

"Why? Because a surrogate mother figure is a bit jealous that her son chose her daughter?"

"Emi—I have a man. A frustrating one, but one I love. I have a nephew, and he's chosen a girl of like nature. I'm deliriously happy for all of us. In that light, I'd like these dreams of abusing my love for him to go away."

Kashigawa nodded.

"I rather think they will. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they were done with. You may still dream of your nephew—but I think the cycle of dreams may have ended last night. Ruka, feelings get released—they don't get resolved entirely. The man you call your nephew is less than a decade your junior. You've both watched each other grow—that's incredibly alluring. Never discount that. You say the boy has become a man. In that dream—what were you about to do?"

"I was—about to be with him—the way a woman is with a man—because that's what we both are now. And I called him dense."

"Your dream wasn't some carnal desire to make your Grandma cry—it was celebrating your first love finding his own happiness. The imagery in the dream was just you realizing that while you would probably never be with him—now you could. Sometimes a possible if unrealized relationship can be as powerful as a consummated one. Because they are also transformative. Like alchemy, you've watched your little man turn from lead to gold, and you feel golden as a result. Let yourself feel that way---and if you happen to get a little dream action from it—eh. Never hurts."

The phone buzzed.

"That would be Carol. Our time is up. You, Mrs. Seta, just used up a very expensive wedding gift."

Another quick hug, and the two parted company. As she left the office, Haruka heard Doctor Hartley say to Emi that he missed someone called Carlin. Outside the building, her cellphone rang.

"You're sure? That moron---and the moron that married him. Thanks, Doctor."

She rang her new—likely temporary—home.

"Sarah—you and your Dad meet me at the Sou. Oh? Try and stop me, little lady. And tell him the doctor's visit was a very positive one."

Her purpose all her own, Haruka calculated the time needed for her new family to hook up with her old, and decided to do some shopping. She would be one of two or three stiff gusts to still strike the Hinata-Sou.

* * *

THE HINATA-SOU

"Five in the afternoon? That has to rival some of my best."

"You look disappointed."

Mitsune in a borrowed bathrobe shrugged at Naru, wearing just an oversized T-Shirt.

"I was hoping to get a start on my training as Ryobo."

Keitaro, wearing the other half of what Naru wasn't, yawned and stretched.

"Mitsu, we just went through the longest day I can ever remember, and that includes my leg and all the failed Todai entrance exams combined. Your training can wait for tomorrow. As Grandma always says, if you took that kind of sleep, then that's what you needed."

"But I kind of wanted to start working down my debt-clock, so to speak."

The earnestness in her eyes secretly did for him what a thousand snarky rubs never could have. But all he did was place his hand on her shoulder.

"Your debt-clock started counting down as of yesterday. When that day comes, we'll celebrate that and the day we almost fell apart together---errr—yeah."

Naru placed a hand on the other shoulder and offered a smile.

"It's over, Mitsu. We've all eaten of humble pie."

"You weren't the one who was almost thrown out."

"You weren't the one who almost threw her sister out."

Mitsune tried to smile.

"Say—any of that humble pie around? I'm starved."

Shinobu emerged from her room, happily wearing proper pajamas—but not quite having adjusted them for where they clung to her emerging figure.

"Sorry—all the barley soup and eggs are gone—I didn't cook much yesterday."

Keitaro picked up the phone and called for Okonomiyaki from a delivery place, along with a large Margarita Pizza. While he did this, Motoko emerged with Su. Her robe was open, but revealed only her body wrap. She gave a surprised Keitaro a look that seemed to say : *You have seen more.*

"It was as Urashima said. So great a battle as that was bound to leave us brutally exhausted. Sisters—and brother—we have cause to look back in both shame and pride. We had a great deal to settle—and almost lost a great deal more by avoiding directly dealing with it for so long. Mitsune—if I, in the process of explaining myself, portrayed myself as the purer party in all this, rest assured, it was not a lie I myself believed."

"I'd just as soon say goodbye to saying sorry, Motoko. But it isn't done. We still have two or three more strong gusts coming through."

Mitsune had said that very absently, a fact Naru noted.

"And you know that—how?"

Since she suspected, but did not know for certain, it was not precisely a lie.

"Don't know. It's like—I can feel something coming in the air tonight. Oh, Kami. Guess my punishment for taking the sake doesn't end, does it?"

Luckily for her, Shinobu spoke up.

"I just hope, if I ever do anything that wrong again—it still doesn't involve anything like that cab ride."

Keitaro, who had been on his way to Molmol with Seta, naturally hadn't known of this.

"Cab ride?"

Shinobu looked at him, and felt a twinge she was still new at fighting down.

"When the fax from Grandma came through, we all piled in to go after you. My head wasn't on straight—I just wanted to get to you. But we kind of made sure Sempai Naru wasn't aware of the fax, or in the cab, and we told her to take care of the place and---"

Shinobu thought that the prior night's talk was as bad as things would ever get between her and Keitaro. The look on her sempai's face—one of the purest disappointment imaginable---was one she swore deducted points from her very soul.

"Never again, alright?"

"Keitaro, stop it! She and I had this out. Can't we have done?"

He honked the girl's nose.

"I'm not upset. But as sempai, I demand better of her, even in her worst moment."

Shinobu hugged him after that—but he had no idea just how much she wanted to mount him, right then and there. The moment of being shamed had somehow done more for her desire than a thousand comforting words and pep talks—and those had never been slouches.

"As sempai, you have that right, and I will live up to your highest expectations."

Naru noted the near-ecstasy Shinobu was in, even if her man didn't.

*Someday, I'm gonna have to have a long talk with that girl. Then again, he gives such good shame.*

As Mutsumi entered, Mitsune motioned for everyone to gather in the living room.

"Sorry to break this April-May hugfest up, but since everybody's here, I have some ideas for this place that are best heard by all concerned. Okay?"

The last but not least member of the Sou flew in from the onsen, and settled on, of all people, Motoko. Su squealed in delight.

"Tama-Chan!"

Mutsumi smiled broadly.

"I think the bad vibes coming from here kept Tama-Chan away. Maybe it is all nearly over."

The small turtle's facial muscles always seemed capable of actually forming a smile, and this evening was no different. Mitsune swore she could feel the tiny creature's joy, but put that aside for more practical matters.

"During our little set-to—before he clobbered me—our brother pointed out to me that this place has been on the edge of profitability for some time—even with yours truly excluded. I'd like to change that—and it uses an untapped resource to do it."

Su raised her hand.

"Isn't that illegal? And I think it's unfair to expect Keitaro to keep all those guys in line, and making sure they pay up."

Mitsune—and nearly everyone else—had been expecting something from Su, so she was quick but firm.

"Not that resource, Su. I meant taking in outside tenants for the warmer months. Maybe May through October—the times themselves aren't important—but that would also create a natural customer base for the Tea Room."

Keitaro raised not an objection, but a concern.

"If there's one thing I know about, it's privacy concerns. We do have unused rooms on both floors—but there's bound to be people seeing our bodies and our business. People we don't know, and who—no offense—are more like than not to file assault charges or lawsuits."

"Gotcha there, Bro---and also way ahead of you. In fact, you two happy humpers showed me the way. We take one of the floors just for us—and we double up for those four or five months. Be a bit of a pain—but we could also waive any talk of rent increases. It'll be kind of like what Kanako proposed—only without a creepy incestuous ulterior motive."

Naru saw the doubt on Keitaro's face.

"Hey—I think she has a good idea."

Shinobu nodded.

"I could double up with Su, Mutsumi or Motoko. Especially in non-school months."

Mutsumi showed her agreement.

"That even leaves one room a single. If one of us needed space, or if you two fought, there's a safety valve."

"Urashima, is there a reason why this could not occur?"

Keitaro shook his head.

"Technically, no. But practically—this place probably has not been up to code for some time—and if we get some bureaucrat in here, checking every last centimeter in the hopes we have to bribe them for something—I don't see how we can make it. The idea itself would make this place a going concern again, and give us some real reserves. But in order to make that happen by next spring or summer—we'd need seed money for deep repairs and renovation—likely including the Tea Room once we got inspectors in here. Money like that doesn't just come falling from the sky."

It is a truism that, for good or ill, Keitaro Urashima never learns to avoid making certain statements. For at that moment, a mechanical turtle clad in golden and jeweled plating flew in from the outside. Su jumped up and grabbed it.

"Mecha-Tama Aurum! I gave this to my brother and sister to deliver official correspondence."

The shell popped open—which notably creeped out Tama-Chan, who had seen the same thing happen to cartoon turtles. A folded-over envelope popped out, and the royal construct departed. Su opened it.

"It has your Molmolian army bonus checks in it."

There was one check for everyone present, plus four or so more again, which confused some people. Mitsune shook her head.

"Su, you said that I wasn't getting one."

"Uh-huh. Technically, that's still not your bonus. It's payment for collateral damage—sorry about your room."

Mitsune stared at the excess of zeroes.

"It's okay kid—that was Kitsune's room. I'm Mitsu-Ryobo. I don't need reminders of drunkenness and chundering. Though I do plan to tie one on when we have our anniversary to-do."

Keitaro, Mutsumi and Naru stared harder at their checks.

"Su, we never signed up—we were on the other side, remember?"

Su grinned rather sheepishly.

"I---kind of signed you up, Onii-Chan—so that you would have to obey my orders. That was wrong, wasn't it?"

Motoko shook her head.

"She will be the death of me. Su—why did you get a check?"

"Errr---because I was such a good recruiter, signing up all those people?"

"You mean either at gunpoint or fraudulently?"

"We have an aggressive recruitment program."

Motoko snatched the check from Su's hand, and gave it to their landlord.

"Our princess donates this towards the restoration of the Hinata-Sou."

"Yeah—I guess I do—all of it?"

Shinobu stared at her check.

"Su, I told you to deduct the cost of what I broke in your room."

"It is deducted."

"But this is soooo much money."

"Well, did you think I was going to have my friends play a game like that without paying for it?"

Mitsune looked at hers.

"It's enough for me to kick in the upgrade fund—and pay the taverns off. I doubt they'll let me back in, but that's no big. Also—I think I owe us a trip to the boardwalk arcades this Sunday."

Keitaro shrugged.

"You could pay the Sou off, and just pay the taverns piecemeal."

"Thanks, Bro—but I know my own worst habits. We'll keep to the year for my debts here—like you said, I'll be stuck here anyway."

The pleased look on his and Naru's face made Mitsune feel actual self-worth. It had been a while.

"Sempai---count my money in towards the restoration—minus the rent for this year."

"It's a no-brainer for me. I love this place. I met my two best friends here."

Keitaro waved a hand.

"Thanks, Mutsumi. Thanks to all of you. There's now more than enough money for the upgrades and repairs—maybe even for a few fun things. But I want to go one step further."

Naru sat down, and folded her arms.

"No way, pal! You can't have them all!"

The 'all' stared over at her, and her defiance deflated.

"Gotta work on those trust issues. Oh---wait! Keitaro, that's a wonderful idea!"

Mutsumi's hair-ends seemed to vibrate—among other things.

"The best idea in almost twenty years."

Mitsune caught it next.

"Why not? We wouldn't want things to get boring around here—what with little Bro showing onsen restraint and us all good with him being here."

Shinobu looked confused, till she looked at Keitaro.

"It is OUR dream. Just like you said on the airship."

Su looked about her.

"Am I being punished again?"

Motoko whispered and Su perked right up.

"Wow! Then all your bad memories of Molmol would become good ones."

"More like---they'd have a good ending, Su. Motoko—since we don't want to offend the fates again, will you lead the prayer?"

"I am honored to do so, Urashima."

Motoko fell to both knees, and as she spoke, each member of the household began to join her.

"We do not demand of the fates, nor do we beseech your favor, save in this one thing. We ask that you take no offense in our proclamation of desire and intent---"

They joined hands.

"---that all here, and perhaps more who we do not yet know or who do not yet stay here—will one day soon join our sisters Naru and Mutsumi and our brother Keitaro as students at the great and prestigious Tokyo University. It is our every intent, and we shall fight to overcome all obstacles—but by this we mean no hubris. Let no spirit or power take offense, and for challenges you offer us in this struggle—we humble ones express our gratitude. So Kami Be Invoked."

"So Kami Be Invoked."

Keitaro remembered his four-year-old self simply crying out 'No Matter Who No Matter What' and hoped that these qualifiers would move them out of fate's specific crosshairs. But there were some crosshairs he himself would never leave, as a weight fell upon his back.

* * *

"Onii-Chan---how about we go in the onsen?"

"Let me get my trunks, Su."

"Why? I like seeing your thing---and you think I'm cute. You can just give whatever I stir up to Naru."

Motoko decided to play Solomon.

"Kaolla Su may sit in the onsen with Urashima fully nude---"

"Yay!"

"Motoko!"

"Wait! She may do that---only if they are divided by rocks, and not at all touching."

Keitaro picked up what she was doing, and smiled.

"Sounds fair."

"No it doesn't! I like being with Keitaro! I won't try and steal him from Naru ever again. What point is there in him being out there with me if there's all these barriers, clothes, rocks—whatever?"

Keitaro sat her down, and Motoko kept a listen as he spoke.

"We have to live by certain laws and rules, Su. At one time, a man who married a woman wanted to know with absolute certainty that he was the first one to ever be with her, or to see her unclothed. Otherwise, not only he wouldn't want to marry her, but no man of worth might."

"But that sounds—almost like property."

Motoko cut in.

"It was a two-way street as often as not. A man who had been with low women or who had shamed women would not be considered a worthwhile catch. It was always easier for rumors to begin than to ever be squelched. Much as we once rejected our brother for his clumsy nature and claimed it to be mere perversion."

Su smiled, and the other two felt uneasy.

"Well, since Keitaro has seen all of us naked, and we've seen him, then we all have to get married—and since that's not legal in Japan, we'll have to move---"

Motoko and Keitaro glared, and Su bit her lip.

"Can't blame a girl for trying."

Keitaro continued.

"Naru might not see it that way. Nowadays, things aren't quite as strict—but if say, Shinobu met a boy from a strict family, they might not even like knowing that I live here—let alone what we've all seen and touched on each other."

"But you'd never touch anyone besides Naru—I should know."

If Motoko had any regrets about not being the one her 'brother' chose, they would in the coming years be sublimated somewhat by their sparring sessions, and by these tandem lessons to a girl who had once loudly expressed her desire to marry them both.

"The members of this hypothetical family might fairly say that we can offer no guarantees of this. Again, the mere fact of seeing each other in various states of undress—mostly total—might itself force the boy to appease his family and end the relationship entirely."

Su hung her head.

"Poor Shinobu. How will we tell her?"

The teacher pair felt pressure behind their eyes.

"She will get over it, Kaolla Su. But we live in a world where we must be wary of the judgment of others. It is even possible that, were Urashima to do as you ask, certain people might even try to remove you from living here. We already have to re-register you as it stands."

Motoko knew this to be extremely unlikely, since Su's family approved of her life and likely had even more liberal bathing habits. But that thought brought the lesson home.

"Okay—bathing suits—maybe a towel across my chest and shoulders?"

Keitaro played an unfair card.

"But you look so cute in that bathing suit. Besides, if we love each other, how can clothes or rocks really separate us?"

The smile on her face said that the battle had been won. This battle, anyway. As he changed, Su asked Motoko one final question.

"Umm—about that strict family?"

"Yes?"

"Do people like them get to always say what's right for everybody else, even if they're not so strict?"

"They don't really, Su. Real life is messy, and goes on around us all, strict or otherwise. In a way, even the loose look to the tight to make sure that things don't get completely out of control. Change is slow—and that is how we tend to like it—in this country and the world at large."

Su went out to the onsen after ducking into her room.

"Bathing suits don't matter, as long as we're together. Besides—Onii-Chan is still Onii-Chan. Something is bound to come off of someone!"

When Keitaro went out, Motoko joined him.

"Still don't trust me?"

"You, Urashima, are a puppy dog. It's Little Miss Strip Chess that bears watching."

* * *

In the kitchen, a lesson of a different sort came up.

"So?"

"So?"

Naru nudged an increasingly nervous Mitsune.

"So I've dished on some juicy details from the other night—keep your promise."

Mitsune had forgotten this particular dodge on her part.

*Great—like my little lies haven't bitten off enough of my skin.*

"Naru—you know how you'd feel if Kei did this with one of his pals."

"He doesn't have any man as close to him as I am to you. Maybe Seta—but I don't see that happening. I'll even allow for that—if you'll just keep your promise."

Not long before Grandma left and Keitaro arrived, Naru had picked up a drunker-than-usual Kitsune from 'meeting' with her Marine pal. It was a real bother, one Naru said she would forgive if Kitsune merely told her what it was like 'to be a woman'.

"I don't know—considering that I have the hots for him, too—maybe we better not compare notes. I—I messed things up pretty badly between us. Maybe—maybe getting me all hot and bothered isn't a good idea."

The then-trickster had grabbed Naru by the cheek, and promised to do so 'when they had notes to compare'. That marker had been called, and like many a debt of late, Mitsune found herself coming up critically short.

"I've already dished! If you're suddenly all shy about details, then just give me basics. Did it hurt?"

"Kind—of. Not—so much. You know---that's such a personal thing from woman to woman. It varies. A lot."

"Did he use protection?"

Mitsune just sat there, beginning to feel sick to her stomach. Naru kept up her interrogation.

"Any—alternative positions?"

"You know how guys are. They want it all. Gotta hold something back for next time."

When Mitsune would no longer look her in the eye, Naru knew, though she could not believe.

"No way."

"Why are you doing this to me, Naru?"

Naru knelt down beside the sitting Mitsune, and drew her close.

"You're not serious, are you? Is this like when you convinced me you were really a guy?"

Expecting chortles and gotchas, Naru instead felt tears on her shoulder.

"What do you want from my life? Do you want me to say it?"

"Mitsu—"

"Fine! You and Kei slid into home plate before your oh-so sophisticated Onee-Chan. I'm a---I still can't say it."

Naru pulled back and looked her in the eye.

"Why would you think that would matter to me?"

"I'm supposed to be so cool, so worldly. Instead, I'm a big chicken who always stops short of pop and play."

"But all those guys---"

"A lot of evenings spent alone getting blasted. A lot more since the guys I did know figured out that I drew the line."

"There's no guy you even wanted to do it with?"

"Yeah—your guy. You don't know how many times he helped me upstairs—and nothing. One time, I even threw up on myself just to force him to undress me. I even grabbed myself a handful. He shook like a leaf, but he did what he had to—and nothing more."

She almost chuckled.

"After he left—all worked up—I heard Motoko spotting his excitement, and then pounding him for it. I was jealous—because at least they were getting some kind of action."

Naru held her closer.

"Was it religious?"

"Who? Me? No. I—was born very close to my parents' wedding. I always got the impression that they had to put some things off because of how I showed up. I always felt like I'd done something wrong, just by being born. Naru, I could never make a kid feel that way. Even if Keitaro had just taken the cue to try and plow me when I left myself open, I don't think I could have—and I'm in love with hhhh--im!"

Naru felt her own tears starting, and fought to keep control.

"He wouldn't think any less of you, and neither do I. For pity's sake, you keep the one supremely responsible thing you were doing a secret? Hey—what about protection?"

"It has a failure rate. It wasn't me being responsible, Naru. I was scared. Listen—did you two use it?"

"We---we're planning to."

"You---you will—or I will climb into bed with you and sing Phil Collins all night. You two have a dream—don't trade it in for a violent little nearsighted whiner we'll all love anyway."

As they talked and laughed a little more, the humor of the moment caught up with them, as the cautious Mitsune urged restraint on the reckless Naru.

* * *

With the onsen door open, Shinobu and Mutsumi observed Su snuggled up against Keitaro.

"I couldn't do that with him. Su's content to just be next to him. I'm not. Not anymore."

Mutsumi looked at her younger friend.

"I could. But that's because I remember when we were girls and boys almost in name only."

"Have I lost anything, Mutsumi?"

"Not unless Kei's been keeping something from us."

"How did I know you were going to say that?"

Mutsumi smiled.

"Oh, you're so serious! Shinobu, I've had years to accept that it wasn't me and him. You only had that confirmed recently."

Shinobu sighed.

"It isn't just Sempai anymore. Mutsumi—I've thought about it, just like anybody else. Lately, though—it's all I can think about. It doesn't help that the man I love is actively loving another while I try to sleep—but that aside, what was once a stray thought is now 90% of my thoughts."

Mutsumi stroked her hair.

"Part of growing up, my lovely girl. Guys think they have it bad, thinking about it almost 100% of the time, but the truth is, that keeps them on an even keel. When they really think about it hard, what's higher than 100%? But us? When we shoot from 90 to 99, it feels like an earthquake. You think it was just romance had all of you stabbing Naru in the back like that?"

"Hey! Mmmm---I guess I deserve to hear about that for a while."

"Actually, both you and Motoko deserve to hear about it forever. She's supposed to have honor, and you're supposed to love both sempais enough to bypass any such scheme. But Su and Kit—Mitsune caught it because they had done so much else to put people off. You and Motoko had good track records, and the smarts to apologize early and often."

"Sempai Naru was that upset?"

"She wasn't happy—and none of that is my point, Shinobu. What all that points to is just being cognizant of what your feelings can drive you to. Keitaro literally loves you too much to let his attraction override his common sense. Not every guy will act that way, if they know you are interested."

Shinobu got off subject, just a little.

"His common sense? Tell me there aren't men twice his age who don't date girls younger than me."

"And are those men anybody you'd ever even want to know?"

"No. But I resent this line that says : Jail, scorn, abuse—all for two people who love each other showing it in the way God made us to show it."

"Oh, Shinobu—treasure these times—they will not come again. The man you moon over and watch scary movies with will soon have a wife—maybe kids. You will have suitors galore and no time for old sempai---"

"That won't happen—I won't allow it. I cannot imagine him not being some part of my life. He's my best friend, Mutsumi. Even if not for sex, he takes me seriously. But sex is still on my mind, and I think that either thinking about it or loving sempai or both are going to drive me flat out of my mind. When does it stop?"

"Oh, she wants it to stop. Shinobu, I would lay odds that there is no age a woman can reach that puts her beyond the feel of the urge driving her to distraction."

The onsen trio came back in, and quickly got dressed. Mitsune and Naru emerged from the kitchen. A knock came on the lobby door, which Keitaro answered.

"Yes, I---"

A fist came through the doorway, knocking Keitaro flat. Haruka emerged, grabbing her nephew back up---and then kissing him long and hard and deep full on the lips before releasing him to an equally stunned Naru. Shinobu looked at Mutsumi.

"Point conceded."

It looked to all present like Haruka had lost her mind. She pointed at her doubly assaulted nephew.

"Get out of my dreams."

She pointed at her future niece.

"My nephew is not a punching bag."

She pointed at her replacement.

"My nephew is not an ATM."

She pointed at the young royal.

"My nephew's head is not a trampoline. I have already instructed my daughter that it is also not a testing ground for the durability of ancient artifacts."

She pointed at the samurai, who stopped her.

"He is also not a practice mokujin."

"Bright girl. I might also add that he is not an emotional clearinghouse---"

She looked at Shinobu, who shrank from her gaze.

"---nor is he to be casually labeled a 'jerk' by a little jerk who never seems to get he's trying his best with an emotional minefield!"

She pointed back at her nephew, who feared for his safety on a few levels.

"You could have done a lot more to stop all this---"

She gestured at the rest.

"—but leave it to these geniuses to exceed even our culture's rules about using such adversity to become stronger. Do you know what it actually takes to elicit my sympathy? I don't have any real sympathy!"

Having gotten most of her nearly-decade long burden off her chest, she added something recent.

"Now---kiss and make up---end this unseemly conflict."

Mitsune actually smiled.

"About twelve hours too late, Auntie. We got there late last night."

Keitaro shook his head.

"Auntie—you didn't drive all that way for that, did you? I'd feel terrible if you did."

Haruka sat down, stunned.

"You bums actually did it. Without me. I—I can stop worrying. Wow."

"Auntie?"

"Yes, Mutsumi?"

"I—I feel kind of left out."

Haruka puzzled for a second, then caught on.

"Take some iron supplements—and wear a freaking bra!"

Mutsumi looked confused.

"Alright for the supplements. But I always wear a bra."

All heads turned in her direction at that, and then towards Shinobu, who nodded.

"They require their own wash load. At times, it frightens and saddens me."

Mitsune fought down so many slingshot comments, it was painful. Haruka gestured for her blood and his fiancée to sit down next to her.

"Naru—let me make up for what I did to Keitaro, just before."

"Ummm-how will you---mmmmmm—"

Naru pushed the kissing fool off of her.

"AUNTIE!!"

Haruka laughed, and then put her arm around her nephew.

"You did a good job, kid—and now the news—"

Seta and Sarah burst in.

"Stop her! Don't let her solve the conflict of your lives, or you'll never be able to stand on your own two feet!"

"Mom, you promised you'd stay out of----aaaaghhhhh!!"

In a heap on the floor, Sarah looked up to see a smiling Su, who hugged the stuffings out of her.

"I've had a really bad couple of days."

"Air—AIR!!!"

Mutsumi picked a stunned Sarah up.

"Su, you're suffocating her!"

"Still---need—air."

Haruka raised her hand.

"Man O'Mine? They went and solved it themselves. Now can I tell them the news?"

Sarah looked worried—although that could have been from oxygen deprivation.

"You're not breaking up already, are you? Geez, you two are worse than these two."

Naru felt a chill.

"You're not dying, are you?"

This time, she kissed her future niece on the cheek.

"Kind of exactly the opposite, kid. I'm pregnant."

A gleam passed between her and Keitaro, but only Seta knew to catch it.

"So, nephew—"

Haruka patted her stomach.

"You gonna take responsibility?"

Keitaro openly freaked.

"AUNTIE----"

He calmed down and shrugged.

"No way. It was only once, and you said you were on the pill."

Laughter passed all around, except for Su, Sarah and Naru.

"Isn't that against the law?"

"I'm being traumatized again!"

"You—YOU TWO TOGETHER ARE EVIL!!! How can you joke about something so---oohhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Seta leaned in close to Naru.

"You know, technically, this does free us up."

"Double Trauma!"

"Will you all just stop joking like that? I---eeeeeeeeeee!!"

Haruka could not resist the opening Naru gave them. She looked at Keitaro.

"Emotional, isn't she?"

"Yeah—she's always been that way."

"Are you sure you want to marry her?"

Just to save himself, Keitaro got back up, held and kissed his flustered fiancée.

"It seems like the logical thing to do."

Seta and a still-frowning Sarah sat down by Haruka.

"Kei—you ready to step up and be an uncle? It's only fair."

"Yeah. I had a good teacher."

Calmer now, Naru asked a question.

"How?"

"Geez, kid. You don't know that yet?"

Before another word could leave Naru's lips, Haruka continued.

"Well, in a way, you and Kei helped set this up. Seeing you two get serious stirred the pot something fierce. We got together about two months ago."

Shinobu shook her head.

"All that craziness in Molmol didn't affect the baby?"

Haruka took the girl's hand, as well as her nephew's.

"Kid takes after its cousin. Shin-chan? Make sure and help my hopeless replacement out? She's gonna need it."

Mitsu took up the challenge.

"Hey-hey! I'm gonna make them forget you so fast, that rugrat of yours will call me Mommy!"

Haruka reminded her of her place.

"At least the kid will never go hungry that way."

Sarah stared at Haruka's stomach with joy.

"Onee-Chan Sarah! I like that. But won't the kid be confused that its uncle calls its Mom Auntie?"

Haruka drew her little one close.

"I lived with it just fine. In fact, it helped make life interesting."

"Okay. But didn't we all part ways five seconds ago, and now we're having a reunion?"

Sarah was hit over the head with a paper plate by her new cousin.

"It's the Sou, Sarah. You never really leave it."

"Huhn. I guess I can't hit you anymore. Bad example for the baby."

Sarah leaped onto Kei's back, and kissed him on both cheeks repeatedly.

"Hey—that's actually kind of fun."

*Wonderful* thought Haruka.

As the delivery food arrived, Naru talked with Seta.

"Should we trust those two?"

"Maybe—maybe not."

He mussed her hair.

"After all, they've been flirting a lot longer than we have."

*He is sooooo goofy* thought Naru. *But a girl never does get over her Sempai.*

Shinobi had pulled Haruka aside for a couple of reasons, one of which she gladly accepted.

"After it's weaned, sure. We'll take a free babysitter."

"Thanks, Auntie. And—Alice-San says hello. We ate at her new restaurant last night."

"Guthrie-Dono? Oh, I almost forgot her. Lousy thing on my part. Thanks, Shinobu."

"Guthrie? That's her surname?"

"It is now. She chose it after—ehhh—"

"She told me all about it, Auntie—I made the same proposal to your nephew that she did to her sempai. He said No, of course."

Haruka pulled the girl's cheek.

"Because he loves you, hotshot."

While this choice was not surprising, Haruka was prouder of her nephew than ever.

"Oh, and Auntie? Arlo-San will be coming to see me here in about two weeks—to meet everyone. I hope it goes well."

Haruka seemed thrown off.

"Shinobu! A boy that young? He must be what, twelve?"

"Sixteen."

"No, he's not sixteen. Maybe thirteen, going on—"

"Auntie, he's a year older than me."

Haruka's heart sank. The babies were all growing up before her eyes.

*You in there—have a really long childhood! Got me?*

As they saw Kei pounded by the affections of Su and Sarah, Shinobu shook her head.

"Mine or not. Loving that man is going to make me crazy."

"Join the club, kid. Join the club."

Outwardly, Shinobu laughed and smiled. Inwardly, you guessed it:

*Eeeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!*

* * *

Mitsune felt a presence. A moment later, Mutsumi and then Motoko felt it as well. Motoko moved Su and Sarah to the onsen doors, and then whispered to Shinobu and Haruka, who whispered to Seta.

"Just sign here, sir."

The food deliverer was about to hand Keitaro a pen. Shinobu knocked it from his hand. Motoko and Mitsune each grabbed one side of the 'man'. Haruka and Seta stood front and back of him.

Naru and Keitaro thought they had all lost their minds.

"Guys? We order from this place a lot. I know this fella."

Motoko mouthed a word at Naru, who frowned.

"Yeah, you know them, Keitaro. You should---he's your sister."

Like something out of a Scooby-Doo cartoon, Keitaro unmasked the 'deliveryman'.

"Kana-Chan! What are you doing here—and what were you trying to do?"

The look on her brother's face told Kanako she had reached the end of his patience.

"I should think that was evident, Kei-Kun. As I once said, you and I are never done. I find your recent engagement unacceptable."

"Then you leave me with no choice. I have no sister—she is no longer welcome where I am, or in my home."

The pen, now smoking, seemed to speak of Kanako's intent. But one wasn't buying it.

"What's with you and banishing sisters? Keitaro, there's something you're not seeing."

Haruka cut Mitsune off.

"Look, I told Keitaro this might have to happen. This kid has never listened and never will."

"You, Auntie, never wanted me as part of this family!"

Haruka got up in her face.

"Wrong as usual! You have always only wanted to be in a world containing only you and Keitaro. You wanted to draw a line around him and you, just like these girls wanted to draw a line around themselves and the rest of the world. News flash, kid—it doesn't work! I tried reaching out to my new niece—but she had no use for anyone but the brother she wanted to play house with."

Mitsune looked at Kanako with new eyes.

"You're both still missing something. Kei—how did she get by you? You've always been able to see through her disguises."

Most everyone took note of this.

"That's right. I never knew exactly why—but this is the first time she's ever really fooled me that I can recall."

Mitsune looked at Haruka.

"Also, angry-lady? When in the last several years have you known this girl to so much as take a squat without the say-so of you-know-who?"

Mitsune nodded at Naru, and then Kanako.

"Used to be, you committed the biggest blunder a master of disguise possibly can with him. A disguise artist asks to be seen as someone else. But you always wanted Keitaro to see you as something other than a sister. So at the same time you played dress-up as Naru or Freddy Krueger or whoever, you were making two requests of him. But this time, despite wanting to kidnap him out of love—he couldn't see through you. So it follows that you actually have given up on him—"

Mitsune wrapped up her Holmesian monologue with a shocker.

"---and that you're here because Grandma sent you to do this."

Haruka shook her head.

"Why, Kanako?"

Seta scratched his head.

"Because she made the same mistake you did, honey. Grandma thought that the girls were still in conflict. That she needed to stage Keitaro's kidnapping to reunite the Sou."

Keitaro frowned deeply, and picked up his cell phone. Haruka stopped him.

"No, nephew—this one's mine."

Kanako protested as she dialed.

"I have admitted nothing! Kuro—now!!"

Shinobu pointed to a black cat happily moving between three dishes—tuna, water and milk.

"We remember your reign here, Kanako."

Kanako looked at her pet sadly.

"traitor."

Haruka got through to her intended party.

"It's me. No---no. They solved that all by themselves—yesterday. Now listen, old woman---we love, worship and adore you, and given your word alone, we'd all march into hell. And maybe these two—and maybe me and Seta—certainly all these girls—needed a kick in the soft underbelly. But do you honestly believe that another staged drama is what they needed after that little megalomaniac nearly blew everything up?"

Haruka covered the phone and looked at Su.

"No offense, honey. I love you."

"None taken, Auntie. Love you too."

Haruka resumed her confrontation.

"You will do whatever it is you see fit to protect, engage and move forward the growth of the children under your charge? Two pieces of news, Grandma. One : So Will I—even if it means going against you. As for Two---you're six to seven months away from becoming a great grandmother."

Haruka smiled smugly, then suddenly frowned.

"No, it's not Kei and Naru! They just started the other night—no, I wasn't watching! Mom—I'm gonna be a Mom, and I'd rather have you with me than against me. I want all my family there. With my luck, your lovable idiot grandson will end up delivering it. But with all that—I will never again simply throw in with any secret plans. The kids are alright, and they're growing up without us. They still need instruction, but they—but we—no longer need to be tricked."

When they hung up, everyone in the room bowed before Haruka. Her nephew spoke first.

"Lady—you have guts."

He helped a woozy Haruka to the couch.

"Yeah—and I very nearly just threw them all up. Kei, did I just do that?"

Kanako moved out of her captors' grip.

"You did indeed. I am glad that I will not be returning to her for now."

"Huh?"

"I too, Auntie, directed our grandmother that this would be the last such effort I would take part in. Having fought to accept my brother's love for another, this was difficult to undertake. It broke my heart to do it, as it did for you."

Haruka shrugged.

"Actually, I enjoyed it. Telling her off and winning? Kissing Kei till his lungs came out? Telling these psychos what they are? Getting knocked up before marriage and already being married when you find out? Niece—I'm liking life."

Kanako looked at her brother, and then at Haruka.

"How come when I express romantic affection for Kei-Kun, it's creepy, but she's blood, and she gets to soul-kiss him?"

Haruka put on a pair of sunglasses, and kissed her nephew on the cheek.

"Because I make this look good!"

Naru shook her head.

"Nah. It's still creepy."

Keitaro gave his sister a hug.

"Sorry about all that. Been a little on edge."

"Understandable, Kei-Kun. My plan called for overwhelming a disunited group. They were nowhere in evidence."

"Will you stay with us, or go back to Grandma?"

"Neither for now, brother. You see—I have of late located my birth mother. I wish to spend time with her. Kuro—is not fond of her, though. Will you take care of her?"

Motoko nodded at her fellow warrior.

"We all will."

"Your birth mother? Wow, Sis. I'm—very happy for you."

"You will still see me, Kei-Kun. I am and shall always be yours. And I know now that those my brother has chosen to spend his life with are people of a good character."

Mitsune walked up to one she had declared a living source of grief, and lightly embraced her as well.

"Well, since I'm calling him brother too, I guess that does make us sisters, after all. And hey, Kanako? When you see your Mom?"

"Yes, Mitsune?"

The woman who would change truly, deeply and sincerely, and yet would always remain at her heart Kitsune, smiled.

"Tell her—I feel fine."

"I think that she will be very glad to hear that. As am I. Everyone—some aspect of what I did in the past was Grandma's will. But for certain parts I cannot ascribe to her plans—I beg forgiveness. You must have all thought that perhaps I was insane."

"My sister? Never."

"Not my future sister-in-law!"

"My niece is alright!"

"We never thought such a horrible thing."

"A warrior would never so badly underestimate another."

"Like I said—all we sisters are a little crazy."

"You are the sister to my two oldest friends—how could I think that?"

"I said you were probably clinical. Maybe you should take your bonus check and seek help."

All looked at Su. Kanako shrugged.

"The princess of Molmol is nothing if not honest."

Keeping to what Motoko called her hit-and-run nature, Kanako left amidst shadows. When they cleared, Shinobu saw what looked like two foxes in the distance.

"Mitsune? Did she just…?"

"Latex and rubber cement, kid. She's a disguise artist, remember?"

*Maybe someday, Mom—Sis. But I have promises to keep.*

The real food delivery arrived. After they ate pizza and the Japanese _'answer'_ to pizza, Seta pointed with dread to a certain device that began chirping.

"People—we have a fax."

Haruka folded her arms.

"I'm not touching it."

Mitsune shook her head.

"Yeah. Been there."

Naru pointed.

"You are the owner."

"Yeah—but for how much longer?"

"Sempai—we will follow you out that door, if need be."

"Wearing only my body wrap, if that's what it takes, Urashima."

At nods from all, Keitaro activated the printer. There were quite a few pages.

*Including names of reputable contractors. How does she always know?*

"It's from Grandma alright. Everyone assemble. This could be it."

"Kei?"

"Not a word, Auntie. It needed to be said, and you were the only one who could have said it."

He kissed her on the lips---lightly and quickly.

"You get out of my dreams, too, lady."

Both spouse and future spouse let that one go, and all sat to hear Grandma's words, for good or ill.

"My beloved children. The time for games is at last done, though, I pray, never the time for fun. I suppose if my hand is too evident, hiding it with feints and tricks not only serves little purpose, it also insults those I have raised to be so strong as to finally snap back at me. By standing on your own and solving your own problems, you have exceeded my best expectations for you. You do an old woman proud."

Keitaro made a play of adjusting his glasses, but no one was fooled.

"So let me speak to each of those children in turn. To my great-granddaughter Sarah—try not to hide how much you care with quick remarks. Be a help to your cousin Kei, and a good Onee-chan to that child I fear will be smothered by all the love surrounding it. You have been with us long enough to know—names and blood matter, but so does the family we choose. In my mind, there is no distinction between them."

*I have a Grandma—a real Grandma. I will be worthy of you*

"To my absent Kanako—try and understand her. When she had you, she had been hurt, just as she later caused hurt. Learn the joys of her world, and of being free. Let those shoulders laden with so many disguise uniforms be fitted with only your own robes, as you at long last find out who you are. It is all I or your parents have ever wanted for you. Remember that they are bakers, and when you and your brother did not turn out according to recipe, it took them a time to adjust. Do not mistake that adjustment for resentment."

*I once did, grandmother—even at this remove, I do so no longer.*

"To my laughing grandson, the absent-minded archeologist. You treat her right, boy. What she lost as a child she regained only with little Kei and yourself. Remember that with Ruka-Chan, the second warning is actually the direst, and the time to move to appease her. Do not disappoint me, Noriyasu. You stand at the center of five other lives beloved to me, and to you I leave the burden of occasionally putting aside your own self. "

*These girls can all tear me apart—but only displeasing that old woman really scares me.*

"To my lively granddaughter Kaolla Su. Remember that a ruler is first and foremost a servant, and must live as an example. To create is a terrific thing, but remember that terrific derives from terror. You need not crash into someone child, to let them know you love them. It is as I once told a writer from New York who was staying here : With Great Power, There Must Also Come, Great Responsibility. I never learned what he might have done with my words. Never lose that wild core of yours, that volcano of energy that warms the cold Earth around us."

*I will, Grandmother. My Uncle Benpar often said the same thing—huh—why didn't I remember that till now? Oh well.*

"To our sweet and wonderful Shinobu. It never surprised me to learn that you so deeply loved my grandson. I saw so much of him in you—including the foolish ability to vastly underestimate your own strength and worth. You may worry that your recent actions taken to declare your heart's intent to the one that holds it makes you less than what you were. In fact, you have become more. As you leave the child behind, you and we may miss her. But we will all love the woman you become even more. A child walks in our grasp and under our gaze. A woman walks alongside us, and is one of us. Move on from your sempai, for your sempai he will remain-and this is a wonderful thing. Do not let your love become a tragedy. Let the love of Keitaro Urashima and Shinobu Maehara be the place her heart started, not where it stopped."

*I have been privileged to love three Urashimas in my time. I cannot imagine my life without them. But Grandma---can I have him anyway? Ohhh—move one—move on—slowly.*

"To our Trickster, for we always need the Trickster. Mitsune, you now stand as one of the pillars of the home I built. You may worry about where you started from, or some unknown part of the past altering that which you truly are. Even in a society as ordered and structured as ours, we still remain largely who we choose to be. Because order and structure can lead to hidebound foolishness and even national hubris, we need the trickster as much as the manager. Turn to all you know for aid in growing into both these roles, for they are truly one. And do not let the fact that Konno-San and Konno-Chan cannot figure you out be confused for not being able to love you. I have heard them say you remain their finest wedding gift, wrapping aside. Step up to all that you are, and all that you can be, and you will never need to be concerned about being taken seriously."

*If I am ever once taken 10% as seriously as we all take you at all times, I will know my life is just about complete, Grandma.*

"To the Guardian of The Aoyoma Method and Path : Motoko, life is an opponent that pops out at you, despite your best efforts to anticipate it. You try to grab at it, only to find it soft and undefined. Suddenly, it hardens and comes at you. You try and erect a shield, but it seeks any opening it can find. In its quest to find you prone and unready, it is unrelenting. It will even try to take you from behind. You must not show fear, but resolve that you must accept life inside you. In its thrust and motions, you will find the means to go on, and seek your position in things. Give life a chance, and you may even find that it is you who are seeking life out."

*It becomes obvious that our grandmother sacrificed a career in stand-up comedy. Hmm—I must ask Urashima for a copy of that page.*

"To gentle Mutsumi, I offer no advice save that to always be yourself. It is advice you have followed since you were but a little girl of four, barely in your first training bra. I see no need for you to change that successful approach now."

*Oh, that's right. I think Mother had it bronzed. Love you, Grandma.*

"To my daughter and granddaughter both. I think that the dour uncaring look you always tried to maintain has left your face at last. You have over these years built a family with these girls, and with the first boy to see your worth and touch your orphaned heart. Now you have a true family of your own, Haruka, to replace the one you lost so unfairly. But continue to connect with the one you built within the walls of our home. You are free of having to be impartial, so speak your mind. Never again feel afraid that love leads to loss. Always maintain your connection to the boy who was your best friend, boyfriend, brother, cousin, and nephew. For at your hardest, he has his grandfather's ability to see through to the heart within. At last, hear my command : Be Happy Haruka. Oh Kami, Guide Her To Happiness Always."

*Well, I was deeply connected with him just a while ago. Any deeper, and you might have to have a long talk with your grandchildren, Hinata. But Happy? Yeah, I think I can do that. I'm finally ready to try.*

"To she who would become my granddaughter. I hope that you have at last found another use for him, Naru. I think that you will find it more gratifying than punching him could ever be. He can be a fool, and he can give up far too easily---but you are his match in that, and in many other flaws. The trick will be to alternate your souls' rhythm so that when he is nervous, you are calm, and when you are spoiling for a fight, he is firm in urging peace. Finding that balance will see you through to the end of many hard days—and besides, it's fun. Do not let the perfect become the enemy of the possible. Do not let your expectations ride you over a cliff. I will tell you a secret, Naru : You are even stronger than you believe. You will fulfill my wishes by being his strength when he needs it, as he was yours when your incredible power threatened to overwhelm your tiny body. Share in what he has, and let him share in what you have, and together your only illness will be suffering the envy of others, and your only weakness the weakness you cause in others as they stand stunned at your joy and unity in true love, tested in fire, ice, and everything in between. Stand proud, Naru, now, on the day you take my family's name, and every other day of your long, long—long—we'll have to have a talk about that—lives."

*Lady—you are the best—and you sure as hell know how to produce the best. I will pay him back for every bit of payback. More, I will work to keep well this place you made, where a sick little girl found hope and love to replace the fear.*

"I hope that my grandson will forgive me, for what I must now say. Three years ago, I saw a boy who had repeatedly failed to enter Todai, and who was nervous around girls to an unholy extent. I studied my dear boy's situation, and I determined----"

Keitaro stopped.

"No way."

"What does it say?"

Naru took the pages from him, and he nodded his assent for her to pick up the reading.

"----I determined that he would soon get his act together, and very likely overcome his nerves based on the first kindness he was shown by a girl. He could not see it, but he was well on his way to having his next attempt be a successful one, and like as not in the company of a wife smart enough to recognize his worth. But I also saw the girls I loved so well living in my dorm. One was a chronic over-preparer, yet not at all prepared to face the possibility of failure. One was mightily skilled, yet so afraid of men a turtle emblem affrighted her. One did not yet see that the party must eventually end. One loved her friends very well but not always wisely—and I feared she might one day destroy the world, if not the universe. The last was a treasure beyond price, but also a fragile flower doomed to die outside the hothouse. Even the girl I myself had raised had forgotten her heart. The way to save that one was to bring a large piece of that heart back again. And he would be the means to save them all. A boy they could not turn away, or injure so badly that he would have to leave. Given time, he would provide his own kick in the pants. I needed him to be their grab at the boobs. Only a quiet explosive like him could pierce their barriers. So to that end, I directed my child and my child's loving spouse to throw their child out of their home, knowing where he would have to come. I also knew this would end his ability to pull himself up, depressed over having been removed from his parents' home. More, simply coping with my girls would put him off his mark as well. Finally, I knew that seeing Naru again would push him back to the memory of the girl from his childhood, and that this too would serve as a stopper to his steady progress. Kei-Kun, forgive me. But your sisters, whether they knew they were or not, needed you, and I would not be there to guide them any longer. Grandson, whether you forgive me or not, let it now be said—given the obstacles you had placed in front of you, you have performed brilliantly and made your grandmother very very proud indeed."

Naru put the pages down. Keitaro sat stunned, but finally managed to speak.

"You know that's not the way it happened. Either she's joking with us, or trying to make me feel good. We all saw how I was when I arrived. Maybe this is even just Grandma's wishful recollection of her only grandson's stumblebum entrance to her inn."

His first love shook her head.

"Auntie thinks it's true, Kei. I remember how worried Grandma was about this bunch facing the real world."

His sweetest love smiled.

"For love and college, you had me thinking thoughts I never had before, Sempai."

His most reluctant love nodded.

"You must admit, Urashima—it sounds like something she would do."

The one determined to win his love and respect chimed in.

"Face it—we scared off everyone else, male and female. I'd have probably drunk myself blind by now."

His wildest love looked giddy.

"She sent you here just for us, Onii-Chan. That's so wonderful."

His gentlest love had not been among the 'saved'. But she spoke as well.

"I can't imagine my life if she hadn't sent you down to play with me."

His newest cousin threw in her two cents.

"So—all of you were the dorks, and he was the cool one? No offense, Kei—but that doesn't quite add up."

"That's because it's not true, Sarah. Either Grandma's mistaken or pulling my leg."

Finally, his true love set the tone.

"Hey! I think it's true—and even if it's not---"

She kissed him.

"—let's just pretend it is. Because it feels right to me."

He kissed her back, and smiled.

"For you—I'd pretend to be an aircraft carrier."

Seta rubbed his head.

"I wonder if I was part of Grandma's plans?"

His wife punched him in the arm.

"You? You were an accident—"

She patted her stomach.

"That stopped waiting to happen."

She kissed him.

"But who's complaining?"

The next day, the Setas planned their lives and activities based on the new arrival. The residents of the Hinata-Sou would enter a long busy period of intense study, training and construction on an inn resistant to being blown up, but not to dry-rot and humidity. Despite a new comfort zone, Keitaro would find himself still getting the occasional bucket thrown at him. Yet for then and there, Naru finished reading the heartfelt words from the founder of the Sou.

"Always remember, my children—your strength lies in each other, and in that, you are each as powerful as all the others put together. You have earned the right to call yourselves family, regardless of who marries or chooses who. Fear less simplistic labels, and think instead of the center of your own hearts, and what you call yourself there. Let no conflict sunder you, let no obstacle forever stymie you, and let no culture, ours or another, place barriers between you and those you love best of all. In moments we are called on to fight, let us all be Motoko Aoyoma. In moments we choose to be better and yet never sacrifice fun, let us all be Mitsune Konno. When called on to serve with joy and verve, let us all be Shinobu Maehara. When we seek to know true inner peace, let us all be Mutsumi Otohime. As we seek to create and not destroy, and to be unashamed in our love, let us all be Princess Kaolla Su. When hard times force our hearts closed, let us find courage to open them once more, and in that moment all be Haruka Urashima. When we find that strength and durability to doggedly pursue our fondest dreams with all of our might let our focus be that of Naru Narusegawa and Keitaro Urashima."

Naru understandably stopped to catch her breath.

"Tomorrow, the world begins, and it is yours to define and shape. Take care of each other in it, and trust in yourself as well, for I have raised no weaklings. Keep to our best traditions, and challenge our worst not with words that can be disregarded, but with how you live your very lives. Yours always until we meet again----"

Naru put down the pages as she finished the story of how her family at the Sou first came together.

"-----Love, Hina."

* * *

END BOOK ONE

* * *

Author's Notes

About two years ago, I finally broke down and read a story I'd heard about for years. Despite some slapstick anime footage I'd seen on YouTube, it was a much deeper story than I ever could have thought. It was not just about a bunch of psychos slamming on a wimp. I never had a greater and more pleasant total surprise than loving Love Hina.

Then came Molmol. I hated Molmol. I still do. It was hard even re-reading it for refs in this, so blindly furious it makes me. Mine is a minority opinion. I've accepted that. And I have analyzed what happened, to see what buttons it pushed. None of it helped. I'd heard that Akkamatsu-San was anxious to be done with LH, and I thought that maybe that made Molmol rushed, but this is still just my opinion. I loved it all, especially the epilogue. But not Molmol. I'll try and keep it short and harsh.

I felt and still feel that Kitsune's behavior jumped from the fun and merely irresponsible into the slimy and vicious. I feel that Su's actions bordered on the unforgivable. Motoko had already declared, and trying to steal Keitaro made her not merely a flawed Samurai, but a villain. Kanako? We'd just spent an entire volume dealing with her. After she _*hit Keitaro from behind after never deliberately hitting him before during the entire manga* _ I was even angry with Shinobu. Shinobu! Apologies to the brilliant mangaka and to those that have no problem with this arc, but to actually be angry at Shinobu blew my mind. I will also add this : Had Akkamatsu-San simply added a panel where Naru angrily tells a sheepish Kitsune and Su that they would be scrubbing the onsen with toothbrushes for a month, I would never have felt the need to write this story. I've never been a fan of sitcom forgiveness/amnesia for wrongs, and to let those two skate by without even a comment seemed wrong. Maybe there's a culture barrier thing in there, but that is how I felt. Also—half the time I could not tell their motivations for doing the things they did, and Kitsune's 'final' explanation was both arrogant and unbelievable (IMHO, of course)

So a fic was inevitable, but I knew better than to write a simple revenge or bash fic, and more, I didn't want to write it. I like these characters, even pain-in-the-ass Kitsune. Slowly, it came to me. I could write a fic in which the characters' ways of doing things got bashed. We know they changed. In the epilogue, Shinobu is more like early Naru was, and Kitsune is now Ryobo, as per Haruka's wishes. You can't tell me she took that job and still behaved the same as she once did. Also, all of them were now Todai students. So how did we get from onsen-bashes and wacky painful episodes to the almost event-free wedding? That was a story I wanted to write, and more, I could put the characters through hell without doing it for vengeance sake. This also enabled me to get inside the characters' heads, and show why they did what they did. I still went harder on Mitsu and Su, but now it served an evolutionary purpose. Motoko and Shinobu still had things to answer for, but their characters seemed a map to letting them off less harshly. Su and Kitsune had finally been too much like themselves, and it would light a fire around them. Add to that, people living together for a really long time just have issues that can only be glossed over for so long.

So here we are with a fic I hope kept true to the spirit of LH and yet explored some things that the manga probably would not have. I hope that my approach was thorough, and I hope that while harsh, it was never merely vicious. I hope that all who read it enjoy it, and that my lapses in understanding Japanese culture are forgivable, as are the one or two crossovers I popped in here as cameos or refs. Very obviously, I did not create those crossover elements, the songs I used, and Love Hina itself. I humbly thank Ken Akkamatsu, and hope on the off-off-off chance he ever reads this, it does not offend. Many thanks to all readers and especially reviewers.

My current plan is to post the first chapter of Book Two in April, and then to post subsequent chpaters on a monthly basis thereafter. Its title will be : Making Your Way In The World Todai, and will start with Shinobu's dinner date with Arlo. Hint : I plan for it to be a more traditional Love Hina story, so Shinobu please forgive me. Till next time, thank you for reading what is in effect my first animanga fanfic novella.

I will stop and explain three refs : The names of the girls who left the Sou before Kei got there were taken from very young girls in anime who suffered tragic fates similar to the ones they avoided in this story. Ashura was taken from Space Runaway Ideon; Kanae from Elfen Lied; Jung from Blue Gender. Each fate broke my heart a little bit—having several nieces and nephews will make you feel for little ones—and since they avoided those fates here, it was kind of my homage to them.

Thanks again, and I hope to have Book Two started fairly soon.

'Goji' Rob Morris, Friday, March 26th, 2010, 2:45 AM


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